words in movies
Monica: No. I think we learned that from the sugarlips incident. I'm gonna get some tea.
Monica: I think that is so great! When are you gonna ask her?
Monica: That is so sweet! (She kisses him and turns to add some sugar to her tea.)
Chandler: (To Phoebe, behind Monica's back) Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem. (When Monica turns back he smiles and kisses her, when she turns away he nods that he'll do it to Phoebe.)
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Rachel: All right listen umm, I just bought something I'm not sure she's gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something that I wanted since I was a little girl.
(Joey turns and looks at quite possibly one of the ugliest pets that you can possibly buy on the planet. Rachel has bought herself a hairless cat. Yep, a hairless cat! Joey and Ross start to get sick.)
Joey: What the hell is that?!!
Joey: That, is not a cat! {I have to agree with Joey on this one.}
Ross: How much did you pay for that?
Ross: Free cats do that too, y'know. {Which reminds me, if I might get a little political here, support your local animal shelter. Pet shops are not the place to buy dogs and cats from, you get a much better deal from the shelter, plus they probably won't die on you in a week and a half. If you want a leash, go to the pet shop. If you want the dog for that leash, go to the shelter and save it's life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.}
Chandler: It is a crime that you and I don't spend more time together.
Chandler: Well, I heard that you thinking about asking Phoebe to move in with you and I thought maybe, we should have a talk. Man to uh, me.
Gary: Yeah, I-I considered that. I just know it would make me happy.
Gary: Listen Chandler, the way I see it is that I was lucky enough to find someone that I really love. I justI wanna be around her as much as I can.
Chandler: (pause) Yeah, you're right about that.
{Y'know, sometimes I think the script writers throw in a line like that to try to trip me up. But it won't work. I'll always have the last laugh! <manical_laugh.wav> Okay, so maybe I'm a little deluded, it's probably just my spellchecker. But, I must admit I did get Mesozoic and Paleozoic on the first attempt. Yay me! Anyhoo }
Ross: Monica, whatever you do, do not drop that ball!
Rachel: You guys this cat is nothing like my grandmother's cat. I mean, it's not sweet, it's not cute, I even dragged that little string on the ground, and it just flipped out and scratched the hell out of me. And I swear, I know this sounds crazy, but every time this cat hisses at me I know it's saying, "Rachel!"
Phoebe: You are useless! Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do! The one thing! And you can't even do that right! God!
Phoebe: That is so sweet. But don't you think it's a little too soon? I mean there's so much we don't know about each other.
Rachel: No Mon that's not the point. I'm out a thousand dollars, I'm all scratched up, and I'm stuck with this stupid cat that looks like a hand! (Storms out.)
Monica: Oh my God, the cat's made my eyes water! Don't-don't throw it to me! My vision's been compromised!! (Quickly grabs a tissue to wipe her eyes.) Oh God! Okay. Okay. It's okay. Man, that was close.
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
Gary: Sweethart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you. It's fine! We don't have to move in together. I justI want you to be happy
Gary: Phoebe, you don't have to say that.
Phoebe: Yes. Definitely! Yes! Let's live in an apartment that we both live in! (Hugs him.)
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
Rachel: Oh good, great! I'll-I'll keep that in mind. (Turns and walks away.)
Gary: That would be great!
Chandler: Oh that is over!
Monica: It's okay. It's okay. Just pretend that it didn't happen! Okay? No one needs to know! I mean, Phoebe's not an official ballplayer! I mean, only official ballplayers can drop the ball!
Joey: Man that was great! Huh? Can you believe how long we threw that ball around?
Rachel: Yeah, it is amazing it lasted that long.
Chandler: Hmmm, thats very cool.
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
CHANDLER: That was in the fourth grade. How could you still be upset about that?
The Director: Cut! That was great everybody! Thank you!
Phoebe: Okay, umm, if a kid gets straight As, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica." Y'know? Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica." Or someone hits a homerun and the announcer says, "Yeah, that ones outta here." Though some things dont change.
Leslie: Wow, thats great.
Monica: Oh my God! You own an Italian restaurant and you think that tastes good?! Where are you even from?
Rachel: Oh, that is so...
Monica: Yeah, uh, it's actually not that big a deal.
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Monica: That could be a four or a five. It's your call.
Chandler: I can see it now, "Look dad, its the Sphinx!" (Does that party noise again.)
Phoebe: Yeah, Ill do that. So who gets to be yours?
Monica: (on the phone) Hi, who's this? (Listens) Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. (Listens) Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. (Listens) Joanne, it's not as simple as all that, ok? (Listens) No, I don't care what Steve thinks. (Listens) Hi, Steve.
Phoebe: Alright, here's my $7.50. (Hands them the money) But I think you should know that this money is cursed.
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
Monica: Wheres that?
Monica: Is it the same thing that Chandler had?
Chloe: Maybe. Does that scare ya?
Chandler: (to Joey) Okay, that hurt us.
Phoebe: Yeah. Ooh God, there's that face again! See I can't do this job! I...
(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)
Joey: She was kidding about that right?
Mr. Geller: ...And I read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God 'Our Little Harmonica' doesn't seem to have that problem.
Chandler: Me too. I wanna find a baby that needs a home and I wanna raise it with you. And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way.
Joey: Well no, Im just in a coma. This must mean I have lines! (Realizes what that means.) Oh
Chandler: Well, I guess thats why they call it psychology, sir.
Charlie: Didn't you feel so stupid that you didn't see the signs? My fiancé was always going away on these long weekends with his tennis partner.
Phoebe: That might work! (She gives him the coat.)
Monica: I can't believe he's that upset about this...
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Joey: I should know that. Lets see, just one moment please. Umm, here we are, a Wicked Wango card determines whether you go higher or lower.
Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
Ross: Well we-we dont know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesnt know what to make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, thats uh, thats all for today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment?
(The group does the same horrible dance that Joey did earlier in the show, except they're all out of sync and they do the jazz hands at the end.)
CHANDLER: God that is good TV.
Rachel: Oh Daddy, no he didnt mean anything by that, he really didnt.
Rachel: Yeah and well drop it off downstairs so that were not tempted.
Precious: I just can't believe that Mike didn't give me any warning.
Ross: (goes over to Julio) Come here, here, come here, come here, (pause) Mrs. Buffay. Sorry, about what I said, umm, it was, it was insensitive of me to say that you were just a cat. When clearly you are also the reincarnated spirit, of my friends mother.
Ross: Whos that?
Ross: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
Phoebe: Youre right, that was wrong. Im sorry. Im so sorry. Its just that I liked you so much. Can we just, can we just start over?
Joanna: Thats why I said all those things about your flirting and your drinking
Phoebe: Wow! That is a bad audition.
Chandler: Come on. An 80-foot inflatable dog let loose over the city. How often does that happen?
Joey: (to Rachel): That book got me through some tough times.
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
Ross: Whos that?
Ross: Is that Mark?
Rachel: Oh Pheebs thats so sweet(Grabs a pair of pants)Ooh, those are so cute!
Joey: (waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.
Joey: Ohh. Hey, remember when I ran into this thing (The shutters that close off the kitchen.) and it kinda knocked me out a little?
Rachel: Okay, look, Ross, I realise that my Father is difficult, but thats why you have got to be the bigger man here.
CHAN: Y'know, maybe this isn't such a big deal. Y'know, I mean, the way that I see it is you get a great job and you get to have sex. Y'know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas.
Chandler: Thats right! It was the wrong kind of eight, no wedding! Damnit!
Phoebe: Wow. So, okay, maybe that means that, youre not over Ross yet and you have issues with your father.
MONICA: I can't believe you did that.
Monica: My brother's going through that right now, he's such a mess. How did you get through it?
Monica: Does it have to do with-with Chandler and that sock that he keeps by his bed?
Rachel: Oh, that sounds great.
Joey: Thats an idea! (To Chandler) Hey, if I hired an assistant, would-would you take money from her?
Monica: Because it would totally freak him out and tomorrow's our anniversary. I just don't want anything to spoil that.
Monica: Did that!
RACHEL: What you got there? Something else that's not yours that you can break?
Chandler: Oh, thats mature.
Monica: Thats right.
Monica: Nooo! No, thats not true. No, best time ever! Yeah, you rocked me world! (She turns out the light to go back to sleep.)
Joey: Dont answer that.
Joey: Oh my, would you look at that! (holds up crossed fingers)
"We thought Phoebe would leave, but she just stayed and stayed. Thats right, Im here all night, and Chandler will never get l "
Joey: Thank you Phoebe, that is very, very generous.
Matthew: Our energy just comes way up when theres an audience here and when that happens, something happens between your brain and your mouth sometimes and it just doesnt, it just doesnt work.
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
Ross: Getting married. (Chandler panics.) Okay. Okay. You can, you can do that too! Just like youve done everything else!
Ross: Yeah, but Im your brother. Were family. Thats the most important thing in the world.
Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldnt be so hard, now that youre dating. (Imitating men at their worst) "Sweetheart, youre fired, but how bout a quickie before I go to work?"
Monica: Yknow, I never saw that.
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
CHANDLER: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?
Monica: You guys do that? Chandler won't even have sex in our bathroom!
Phoebe: Okay. (One of Joeys co-workers, walks by with a dead tree.) Yikes! That one doesnt look very fulfilled.
Phoebe: Okay, thanks. Yeah, I'll try that.
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
Monica: And-and-and if I die, from a long illness. And youre writing out my eulogy and you open a desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, "I will always be with you," and you still cant shed one tiny tear, I know youll be crying a river inside.
Rachel: Oh so you know that, you guys talked about that, so you get along, so you think youre gonna go out?
Monica: You just carry that around?
Ross: That would be great.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is playing that string game with the two hands and the weird crossing patterns as Chandler enters with the mail.]
Rachel: I don't know... I mean, I've never looked at you that way before.
David: Damn it! I-I'm sorry. I-I don't mean that. I-I want you to be happy... But only with me. No, uhm... that's not fair. Uh, who cares, leave him!. Oh, I don't mean that. Yes I do... I'm sorry Uhm, I... I think I should probably uhm... go...
JOEY: Hey, hey, look at that talent.
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Phoebe: (in a deep voice, imitating Ross) Um, Rachel Im really sorry. (imitating Rachel) Thats okay, do you wanna get back together? (imitating Ross) Yeah, okay. (in her normal voice) Did anyone else hear that?!
Chandler: Uh then there was that dialect coach who helped you with that play where you needed a southern accent. Which after twenty hours of lessons still came out Jamaican.
Chandler: Phoebe and Rachel! So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way!
Ross: Yeah, thats the one. Listen, I dont want to hurt her.
Joey: I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up. Person named Wiener, God that kills me. (Laughs)
Rachel: Well that too. (Joey goes into his room.) Joey?