words in movies
Chandler: Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us
Monica: (interrupts him) If someone wants to give us a present, we dont want to deprive them of that joy.
Phoebe: You mean the one that my grandmother made me swear on her deathbed that I would never let out of our family?
Monica: Okay. Im gonna be the mom that makes the worlds best chocolate chip cookies.
Joey: Why would I do that? It took three guys to get the thing in there!
Joey: Oh, its great! Its a great place to just kinda, sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips. (He says that as he sits, hangs around, drinks a beer, and eats a chip.)
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
Monica: Wow! Thats great! Dad must really like you, he doesnt ask just anyone to play.
Ross: Or you can sit with him on the front porch and make sure no one steals the trash cans. He does that every week too.
Phoebe: (pauses as he figures out how to answer that) Because Im normal! That was the one legacy my grandmother left me, and I know you wanted it as an engagement present.
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
Joey: Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!
Rachel: Oh, okay. Is that what you want to do? You wanna go over and give a little shout out to the old, hot chickas? Okay, lets do that Sailor Joe. Quick question though, (grabs some of the rigging) whats this called?
Monica: You dont? (Laughs) Well, thats the difference between a professional and a layman.
Phoebe: That and arrogance.
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
Chandler: Why? Okay? Why? Wh-wh-why did that have to happen?
Phoebe: Come on, its not that big a deal!
Chandler: Not that big a deal? There there was touching of things.
Ross: Now, I know you wanted to bond with my dad, but did you really have to bond to that part?
Monica: Listen, Im sure that dad doesnt care. He probably thought this was funny; hell be telling this story for years!
Chandler: If that is your father calling to tell this story then the marriage is off!
Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)
Rachel: Look Joey, Im sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.
Joey: Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember?
Joey: Well it hit me anyway! And it wouldve hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer.
Phoebe: Oh, what was that for? Like a bake sale?
Ross: Which one was that?
Rachel: Its left sweetie, but thats okay sweetie, thats a tough one.
Joey: (hurrying over) Okay! Okay, youre yelling again! See that?
Rachel: Okay Joey, were luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham? (The mainsail has started to flap in the wind and has stopped working efficiently; she wants him to tighten it so that it starts working again.)
Joey: Oh, yknow, when we did that was when that bird was flying overhead with the fish in his mouth. Did you see it? It was gross!
Rachel: (angrily) No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!
Joey: All right thats it! Youre yelling and I dont see you taking your top off! I quit!
Phoebe: Yknow, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that were trying to figure out her recipe. I bet shes l-l-lookin up at us and smiling right now.
Monica: Well, Ive tried everything. I give up. I guess Im not gonna be the mom who makes the worlds best chocolate cookies. I do make the best duck confit with broccoli rabe. Kids love that right.
Ross: Aww, Pheeb, come on isnt there any relative that would have the recipe? What about, what about your sister?
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Ross: Thats the day youre gonna die? Seedarnit, Ive got shuffleboard that day.
Phoebe: Thats what you think.
Monica: I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out the recipe and it was in my cupboard the whole time!
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, why dont you give a pull on that rope? (Points.)
Rachel: Oh wow! (She takes a bite, but holds the sandwich vertically so that the stuff falls out.)
Joey: What youdont hold it like that! Youre lettin all the good stuff fall out.
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
All: Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out!
Joey: Okay, but lets say there was. How might that go?
PHOEBE: But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera.
Ross: Yes thats right.
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Phoebe: Why is Ross doing that?
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
Chandler: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. (He jumps up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.)
Chandler: You just thought of that in there?
The Lurker: I won! That was my quarter!
Ross: That was you?
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Monica: Oh, honey!I can't. I was just telling these guys that things are crazy at the restaurant!
Rachel: Yeah thats right! Come on Joey; sex me up!
Monica: Isnt that mine?
Joey: Felicity and I, were watching My Giant, and I was thinking, "Im never gonna be as good an actor as that giant." Do you think Im just wasting my life with this acting thing?
Rachel: Oh, well thank you for taking your tongue out of my sisters mouth long enough to tell me that.
Joey: Now, see, I don't believe any of that. I think once you're dead, you're dead! You're gone! You're worm food! (realises his tactlessness) ...So Chandler looks gay, huh?
Chandler: Yeah, Ive always hated that Howie.
Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that?
Phoebe: Whats that smell?
Elizabeth: Ohh thats so sweet!
Monica: Does that smell bother you?
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, thats notNo-no-no!
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Joey: OK, you've got to promise that you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you.
Ross: Why do they keep doing that?
MR. GELLER: When did I say that?
Joey: Thats right, all the ladies want to stay at Joeys.
Rachel: Oh! I used to do that too!
Chandler: Almost as good as that play with the two naked girls on the see-saw.
Monica: Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room?
Joey: And scene! Huh? Wasnt that fun? We did a little improv there. Yeah! Okay! So you-you-you-you were saying?
Joey: But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "Thats not how your dad used to do it."
Ross: That! Lets talk about that.
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Rachel: Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she’s difficult, but I think it’s really good that she’s here.
Monica: Drunk enough to know that I want to do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Monica: Uh, would you stop it with that already?!
Rachel: That would be great! Wait, how long is Denise gone for?
Ross: Well, I-I want to give her another chance, yknow? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that wasif she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasnt kidding, shes not fun, shes stupid, and kind of a racist.
Chandler: Oh, uh, yeah... I just knew that sometimes when you're writing, you... you don't always know the exact time.
Chandler: No-no, why dont you hang on to that one.
Monica: Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk Gavin from your office didn't show up (Gavin shows up at the balcony windows).
Monica: No! You cant do that!
Phoebe: So, we realize thatOh no (She resets herself) Im telling it! Im telling it (She loses it.)
Monica: Oh no! My parents have never seen me drunk! (Pause) That they know of.
Chandler: Ah, look on the bright side, I mean you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you. (they hug again)
Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienists blouse.
Ross: Thank you! Thats what I keep saying.
Chandler: That is lucky.
Chandler: Oh thats so sweet! I want to show you something too!
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
Chandler: Oh thats great!
Phoebe: Oh thats right. Youre still set on that?
RACHEL: Well that sounds kinda cool, kinda like The Hobbit.
Joey: Oh, that sounds like fun, but weve got a ring to find!!
Elizabeth: Ahh, I just have one problem left that I do not know how to solve. Uhh, Rachel maybe you want to come upstairs and help me figure it out?
Rachel: (looks at him) That was (pause) surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all?
Monica: Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.
Ross: (entering) Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?
Ross: Yeah, no one talks like that!
ROSS: Ok, well then get some sense. I mean it took you what, 10 years to get that job, who knows how long it's gonna be till you get another.
Joey: Yeah!! I call that London style.
Phoebe: It's not that bad.
Chandler: How is that worse?!
Joey: What?!! Thats even worse!!
Monica: That noise you just made?
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Monica: Oh honey, is that cause your Mom died around Christmas?
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Phoebe: I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
Mr. Treeger:: No! Youre clogging up the chute that I spent a half-hour unclogging!
Leslie: Yeah, but, I dont do that anymore. I got kinda sick of it, and then I couldnt come up with anything good, so they fired me.
Monica: Cause I just keeping thinking about all these things that Im not gonna have and its freaking me out. I dont know what to do about it.
Chandler: Well, I did not know that.
Charlie: Hey, there's Phoebe! Is that Mike she's with?
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
GRANDMOTHER: Alright, that is not your father, that's just a picture of a guy in a frame.
Ross: Sorry. (To remedy that, Ross scoops the cinnamon off of the top with his hand.)
Ross: Thank you! And I have to say that first scene when you meet Mac
Ross: I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.
Rachel: Oh good, great! I'll-I'll keep that in mind. (Turns and walks away.)
Joey: Thats great. Thanks Rach.
Chandler: Ah, well, maybe thats, ah, because youre getting a big raise.
Ross: Uh yeah! Let me, let me get that for you.
(Nina beams flirtatiously at Chandler, who catches her drift, but for once hes lost for something to say – so she nods her head to tell him that hes thinking correctly...)
Rachel: Oh thats right! Im sorry! I-I am early! Finish! Please!!
Monica: All right Rach, for what its worth, I think that youre doing great. I mean yknow lets face it, no one handles this well.
Chandler: No, you shNo you said you made that up!!
Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?
Joey: Uhh, look Katie, uh listen, we-we need to talk. Okay? Umm, look I like you. I-I really do, I like you a lot. Okay? But sometimes when you, when you playfully punch me like that it-it feels like someone's hitting me with a very tiny but very real bat.
Paul: I get that a lot.