words in movies
Ross: Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you know what I don't get? The way guys can do so many mean things, and then not even care.
Chandler: So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night, Sat-ur-day night!
Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?
Rachel: Oh, yeah, yeah. Actually, I got the extended disco version, with three choruses of "You'll never make it on your own".
(Angela takes a seat at the counter.)
(Cut to Ross and Rachel, talking next to one of the tables.)
Ross: Yes, I do have a laundry room in my building, um, but there's a.... rat problem. Apparently they're attracted to the dryer sheets, and they're goin' in fine, but they're comin' out all.... fluffy. Anyway, say, sevenish?
(Cut back to Joey and Angela at the counter.)
Joey: Bob? Who the hell's Bob?
Joey: Come on, we were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like, talking too.
Joey: Fine, fine, so, why don't the four of us go out and have dinner together tonight? You know, as friends?
Monica: Forget it. Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet.
Ross: It's laundry. The thinking through is minimal.
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwearyou want it to be dirty?
Chandler: Oh, and uh, the fabric softener?
Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.
Phoebe: This is nice. We never do anything just the two of us.
Janice: Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day.
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...
Janice: Well, I knew you had the Rockys, and so I figured, you know, you can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle, or you can wear Rocky and Rocky,or, you can mix and match, moose and squirrel. Whatever you want.
(The drinks arrive, and Chandler downs his espresso in one gulp.)
Janice: (holding the full cup) No, no, I'm still working on mine.
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
[Scene: The Launderama, Rachel is there, waiting for Ross. An old woman takes Rachel's clothes off the machine and begins loading it with her things.]
Ross: Hey, hey, hey, that's not the rule and you know it.
(The woman and Ross stare at each other. Finally she takes her stuff out of the machine and leaves.)
Ross: (to the crowd in the laundromat) All right, show's over. Nothing to see here. (to Rachel) Ok, let's do laundry.
Ross: Uh, well, don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle. Ok, um, basically you wanna use one machine for all your whites, a whole nother machine for colors, and a third for your uh, your uh, delicates, and that would be your bras and your under-panty things.
[Scene: Fancy restaurant, Monica, Joey, Angela, and Bob are seated at the table.]
Joey: I suddenly had the feeling that I was falling. But I'm not.
Joey: You're a lucky man. You know what I miss the most about her? That cute nibbly noise when she eats. Like a happy little squirrel, or a weasel.
[Scene: The ladies' bathroom at the restaurant, Monica and Angela are talking.]
Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.
[Scene: The laundromat.]
Ross: That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? (the buzzer on the washer goes off) I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...(opens up the washer) Uh-oh.
Ross: (not wanting to tell her) Uh-oh, uh-oh, the laundry's done. It's, uh, it's a song. The laundry song that we sing. (singing) Uh-oh the laundry's done, uh-oh, uh-oh.
Rachel: Ross, what's the matter?
Ross: Nothing, nothing. Lee-lo, the laundry's done.
Ross: Yeah, uh, except for the red sock, which is still red. I'm sorry, please don't be upset, it could happen to anyone.
(The woman who had tried to steal the washing machine walks by, and laughs.)
[Scene: The fancy restaurant, Angela has her hand in Bob's shirt, and Monica is very uncomfortable.]
Monica: Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please?
(Her and Joey walk away from the table.)
Monica: Hello! Were we at the same table? It's like... cocktails in Appalachia.
Joey: Yeah. I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up.
(Angela is eating chicken wings and making the weasel-like noise Joey had told Bob about.)
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.
(Janice returns from the bathroom.)
[Scene: The Launderama. Rachel is sorting her now-pink clothes.]
Ross: You got the clothes clean. Now that's the important part.
(The same woman walks over and takes Rachel's laundry cart.)
(Rachel looks at Ross, who motions to her to get the cart back.)
(They struggle for the cart. Finally, Rachel climbs inside of it.)
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
Monica: We ripped that couple apart, and kept the pieces for ourselves.
Ross: What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way.
(Chandler runs by the window outside, joyous.)
The Director: Oh thats great! Okay, well Ive heard everything I need to hear. I just need to uh, Leslie
Joey: Well we have to make room for the fresh ones.
Chandler: It was unbelievable. I-I've never met anyone like her. She's had the most amazing life! She was in the Israeli army...
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Monica are returning from their honeymoon.]
[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and the guys are watching Days of Our Lives.]
Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that youre really sarcastic, or that, yknow, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.
Phoebe: I did it! I took care of the babies all by myself!
(Chandler opens the door, finally.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is still watching the porn as Chandler enters.]
Stanley: I don't know. A week? Maybe two? The money will turn up! People will always wanna invest in movies! Hey, you're not rich are ya?
Chandler: Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a great time on our honeymoon, and I cant wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica emerges from the bathroom.]
Joey: Like the three musketeers, only with fruit.
ROSS: Sweetie, it's be gonna okay, all right. It's a wedding, generally people focus on the bride.
Monica: Okay. Heres the thing.
JOEY: The Ice Capades?
Joey: Yeah, shes been out there for twenty minutes, Im surprised you didnt hear her on the way over.
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Rachel: Chick and the duck? Didn't they die...
Phoebe: Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.}
MNCA: [reading the paper] There are no jobs. There are no jobs for me.
Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.
Phoebe: ( in a soothing voice) Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky-plunky music. Okay, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Okay, tell me your happy place.
Joey: Hey, when the doctor does that hernia test...
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
Joey: (excited) Thanks dude!!!This is GREAT!! (leaves Rachel very touched on the couch and goes into his room)
(She walks down the aisle with the groomsman. We cut to inside Central Perk, where Phoebe and Chandler are waiting.)
Rachel: (Brings Marcel a teddy bear) Marcel, this is for you. It's, uh, just, y'know, something to, um, do on the plane.
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
(Robert walks away and the guys all start laughing in front of Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this again!'
Ross: Aw, yknow Yknow, maybe were-were just approaching this all wrong. If youre Chandler and-and you wanna hide, where is the last place on Earth people would think youd go?
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Joey: Because you waited too long to make your move, and now you're in the friend zone.
Kathy: No, youre my first. Put the money on the table.
Monica: Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it?
Phoebe: That man across the street just kicked that pigeon! (Rachel enters.) Oh!
[Scene: Classroom. Joey is writing his name on the board, but turns around before hes done which causes him to write his name with a downward curve, and he then underlines it, and draws the line right through his name.]
Chandler: Yes, I-I know that you do, but I think one of the reasons people were complaining though, was that they paid to hear the actor sing Old Man River.
(Mrs. Geller leaves as Ross re-enters the room.)
[A montage of scenes from The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break follows.]
Joey: Good, good yeah, (Grabs the bags) maybe while were there, they can check your reflexes. (Joey opens the door and it hits Ross in the face with it.) (Makes quote marks.) "Oops."
Chandler: Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one cant get mad.
Janice: Mmm-hmm. Because I know that this isn't the end.
(In the meantime, Rachel has returned with the perfume and sprays a mist out in front of Phoebe who walks through the mist and does a little spin.)
Ross (he buzzes for the nurse) Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here.
Ross: Come here, come here. Uh, (He takes the earring out.) ow! Emily, will you marry me?
Chandler: It was terrible. I fought with (Pause) my colleagues y'know, the entire time. Are you kidding with this? (Throws away another Rollo)
Phoebe: Y'know what? We thought you were different. But I guess it was just the coma.
Chandler: (frustrated) Okay, for the last time. Its not named for each individual man.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is looking at the foosball table.]
The Stripper: You are really good at that. So uh, I had fun tonight, you throw one hell of a party.
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?
Joey: Yeah, because it is slim pickings. I had this date last night: Yuck! But we should probably keep it down; she's still in the bedroom.
Monica: Uh, you left out the stupid part.
(The elevator doors opens, Bob boards the elevator, Chandler walks away, and Mr. Franklin steps out of the elevator.)
Monica: Joey, you had the night!
[Cut to still later, Rachel has now resigned herself to move and is now helping Monica. Phoebe is still on the chair.]
Ross: Oh thank you. Thanks very much. (Leans up against the board and on a thumbtack.) Ow! (He pulls away.)
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
(She throws a water balloon at him and hits him on the head and hits him again at the waist with another one.)
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God that’s awful! What did you think of the house?
Monica: Joey, she was listing the countries shes done it in.
Joey: They gave me the shaft all right.
Joey: What about the chick?
Phoebe: Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachels sisters cabin. (Chandler goes back to the window to smoke again.)
Ross: Uh, so this play umm, what do you think? Its-its gotten great reviews! Yknow the uh
[Scene: Danny's apartment, there's a knock on the door and he answers it.]
Joey: Somehow they got the idea that you only invited them because of me. They feel a little unwanted.
Monica: I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?
(They fall to the couch and start to make out, but Ross stops suddenly.)
Ross: Well, not really. I mean technically its-its not against the rules or anything, but it is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey von Holierthanthou.
Monica: Okay thats it. I give up. At mom and dads 40th anniversary, youre the one giving the speech.
Chandler: See that'll stop when you pick up the phone.
RACHEL: Hey Phoebs. Oh hey, how's the dog?
Eric: But, he told me over the phone.
MONICA: You heard the woman. Peel, chop, devil! I can't believe I lost 2 minutes.
[They go into the apartment. Inside the apartment it looks like a sewage dump exploded and landed in her living room. There are clothes and food and junk covering every square inch of space. I mean pigs have nicer pens. Ross is completely shocked.]
[Scene: The New School, Joey and Monica are walking down a hallway.]
Monica: No, no! We should divide them up (picks up the bowl) and I should get extra because we used my card to buy them!
(The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Chandler: (entering, carrying the chick and duck) Hey! Can you take a duck and a chick to the theatre?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey is eating breakfast, Rachel has just gotten up, and Monica is on the phone.]
Erica: Uh-huh! I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!
Monica: I highly doubt that. (they both go to the bathroom)
ROSS: Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, ya know, giving him away.
Phoebe: I like waking up with you too. (Looks out the window) Oh! It's such a beautiful morning. (Some birds are singing outside the window) Oh, I can stay here all day.
Monica: Hey, the mans dog just died.
Joey: It's called Shutter Speed, it's really cool! Yeah, umm, I meet this girl in the subway and we fall in love in like a day, right? And then, she disappears But I find out where she lives and when I get there this like old lady answers the door and I say, "Where's Betsy?" Right? And she says, "Betsy's been dead for 10 years."
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
Kate: Why the Post?
(Chandler starts to leave ashamed of himself, but Rachel stops him in the hallway.)
Monica:: Hey Rach its me ok I just got the Chandler's room and I caught him molesting himself.
Rachel: Well, cant you tell her that you are not in the mood?
Joey: Yes it is perfectly good, and it is not one of the places the duck got sick!
Ross: (to the girls) Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl’s breast?
Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!