words in movies
Monica: Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? (doesn't let them answer) Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first.
Chandler: Yes there are, I just saw them a few minutes ago.
Monica: No, no! We should divide them up (picks up the bowl) and I should get extra because we used my card to buy them!
Rachel: Ok, that's it! Just give'em to me! I'll split them up! (she tries to snatch the bowl from Joey's hands but she can't, so she pinches his nipple and she manages to take it)
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
Monica: Phoebe, we lost half of them.
Monica: Oh, play them!
RACHEL: Alright, just put your hands out and I'll back up into them.
Frank: Hey, yknow I was thinking, what are the odds like if-if, if you stuff like 200 of them in there?
Monica: (Angrily.) You can let some of them go by!(Judy and Andrea go to the front of the chapel. Joey approaches Monica.)
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
Ross: Ah-ha, nowhere to run! (He starts to run towards them.)
ROSS: Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great.
Rachel: Well, Im sorry, I thought you needed them!
CHAN: One. . . two. . . two and a half. OK, just show me one of them.
PHOEBE: Well you know, you juist, you eat them and you can tell.
Joey: Is it her fault that some of them didnt make it to you?
Joey: Okay well that may be true. But, in-in okay, Air Force One the Russians were terrorists! And evil! And plus he kills a bunch of them! That-that-thats offensive to Russians.
Mike: Ok, fine, these rats are our responsibility. What happens when they mate and there are hundreds of them?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
Phoebe: Come on you know what to do! You hire the first one! You dont hire an assistant because theyre cute, you hire them because theyre qualified.
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
Rachel: Ok, well, not a problem. We'll just use them to stop the bleeding. Ok. Baggage claim? Ok.
Monica: So do them for free.
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
Monica: Good? Didn�t you hear them...I was great! Thank you so much for making me do this. That�s is the best gift ever.
Phoebe: Oh, I was telling them about you and Emily. Y'know, try to get some sympathy.
Phoebe: Oh, we killed them all.
Monica: I know! Phoebe is gonna love dressing them in these!
(Chandler opens the door and startles them. He picks up the paper)
Phoebe: No, no maybe cause its harder to raise them, and the added expense, and
Chandler: Ill tell you what, I will go get them developed and you can go home.
Monica: That's because I'm in front of them.
(Joey turns around and sees them kissing.)
[Behind them, Joey goes up to the bandleader and interrupts the song.]
Phoebe: That is so great! Oh, I... (sees that a parked car near them has caught on fire) Oh my God!
Bonnie: (joining them) Hey guys.
Joey: What? Are you out of your mind? Lets throw some jello on them.
Chandler: Yeah, I've been to these places before, but I've never really seen them, you know.
Ross: Yeah! Wed meet, wed meet total strangers, and hang out with them!
Monica: Yeah, and yknow, if you could not mention to them that we live together, that would be great! (Quickly trying to change subjects), I was thinking we would eat around four.
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
Chandler: You look great. I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them.
(We hear them start making out upstairs.)
Rachel: Yeah. (Monica walks away) Nice try! (Rachel puts them in a box.)
Chandler: No-no, wait! There's got to be a better explanation. You can tell them you had to make an adult film for your (Thinks) adult film class.
Phoebe: But I already gave them back to you!
Chandler: Ya know if you want to, I can just hold them down and you could (Punches the air).
Mike: Oh, that's ok. I don't care which of them I beat.
Joey: I know, it was the best I could get out of them.
(Jamie Buchman and Fran Devanow enter the coffee house. They look about them as Jamie removes her coat and scarf.)
(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
ERICA: Oh Drake, you are so talented, let me see those hands. Oh these hands, these beautiful hands, oh I could just eat them. . . but I won't.
Monica: What did you tell them?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading on the couch while Joey, still suffering from his hernia, is returning with coffee for them both. After a series of grunts and groans he manages to painfully walk back from the counter, sit down, and slide Chandler his coffee.]
Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
(Rachel unlocks and opens the door to reveal a half-naked Chandler handcuffed to the chair. They both gasp and Chandler stares at them in shock and surprise.)
Monica: Yeah, I think we're ready for our first course. (Steve sits, Monica brings over a tray) OK, um, these are rot-shrimp ravioli, and celantro pondou sauce... (Steve starts to eat them one by one, quickly)... with just a touch of mints... and... (he finishes)... ginger.
Phoebe: Okay, what about after I give you these candies? (Hands them each one from her purse.)
Rachel: Do you have anything that would... get us out of them?
MONICA: Why? It's not like I'm putting little nipples on them.
(Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey all scooch over to let them sit down.)
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
Rachel: Well, these aren't mine. Maybe Monica used to use them with...
Rachel: Well honey, then why don't you break up with one of them?
Rachel: (to them) Just a minute!!! (She takes the candy and opens the door to two parents, a witch, a clown, and a cowgirl.) Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. (Gives her candy.)
MR. GELLER: Gosh, we talked about that but your brother has so many science trophies and plaques and merit badges, well we didn't want to disturb them.
Joanna: With them, under them, whats the difference? Eh, Rach?
[Scene: The Bing household, Mr. and Mrs. Bing and Young Chandler are eating Thanksgiving dinner as a housekeeper serves them.]
Gunther: And when you have a second later, I wanna show you why we dont just trap spiders under coffee mugs and leave them there.
Monica: Okay. Wait, just give me a second, I need to just get my boots off first. (She starts taking them off.) Ah Ooh Oohh Ohh Oh God Ohh Oh Ohh Ohhhh
Joshua: Huh. Oh, boy! (Sits down next to her.) Uhh, I-I dont wear suits to work, and I bought six of them from you.
(Carol, Ross's ex-wife, has entered behind them and is standing outstide the exhibit.)
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Ross: Look, I-I drew a sketch about how we're gonna do it. (Showing them) Okay Rach, (points to the sketch) that's you. That's the couch. (Points again.)
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Chandler: Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers, I'm gonna need them on my desk by nine o'clock.
CHANDLER: I was not trying them out, Susie asked me to wear them.
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
RICHARD: Yeah, I know. I hate it too. Look, maybe we should just tell them.
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
Chandler: Why not? We could give each of them half a medallion, and then years later, they'll find each other and be reunited. I mean, that's a great day for everybody.
Ross: I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Yknow, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so
Gunther: Oh umm, uh we dont sell cigarettes, but they have them at the newsstand across the street. (Points.)
Phoebe: Okay, scarfs done. (Its not really a scarf, its just a bunch of yarn that Phoebe has tied together. Just then, Ross and Emily enter dragging with them Joey and Chandler.)
Chandler: I tell people secrets. It makes them like me.
Chandler: No, I ah, I didnt do them.
MONICA: I'm gonna set them to my time.
Rachel: Y'know what Chandler, you got yourself into those cuffs, you get yourself out of them.
(They move to kiss, but realise that Chandler is staring at them. Chandler urges them on.)
(Joey smiles at them. Rachel looks annoyed)
Phoebe: Why don't you turn them inside ou...
Rachel: Oh my God! (She licks the top picture and hands them back.)
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Ross: Oh no. Dont, dont, dont start packing. Come on! (She puts some clothes into her bag, and Ross throws them out.)
Rachel: So Pheebs, pick one of them.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
(Joey walks up to them.)
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
(Ross opens the door and steps into the living room. He has fully removed his pants and holds them wrapped into a ball in front of his crotch. His legs are covered in the powder and lotion paste. He looks terrible.)
Rachel: Hello? Oh, Pheebs! (To them) Its Phoebe!
Chandler: Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldnt picture myself with any of them. (Sits back in disgust.)
PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see One of them wont do it, but the second one will set you free Tell all your hate and anger, its time to say good-bye And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die! La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Rachel: Yeah, and yknow what? I love them both, so why dont you just pick one and thatll be it.