words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
David: Wa... wa... wait! We can... call them later. Can you just... just stand there f-f-for a moment? Boy! There's an old Russian expression, uhm... it goes: Schto ya ztez vigul... ui! Roughly translated that means uhm... This thing that I'm looking at: wow!
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)
Monica: Yeah, Ive had them picked out since I was fourteen.
Chandler: No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. (He runs over to where his pants are hanging) Hello sweet pants!
Joey: No, I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid! (Notices Monica standing between them and smiling.) What?! (The camera clicks, taking another picture.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Maybe we should give them some privacy.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area.
Monica (as Rachel): ..well, why don't you tell them? After all it, is your ankle.
Rachel: Uh-huh... why... do you not like them?
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
Joey: Well maybe I got a little upset and maybe I told them where they could go.
Phoebe: You saved them! You guys! Oh God, youre the best!
Chandler: It's ok, it's ok. You know what? (Takes out his mobile) I'll just call the agency and tell them to throw out the letter. (starts dialing)
Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women dont even feel them.
Phoebe: Well, then you should come tonight. You know, just hang out with them. Let them see what a great guy you still are.
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
Rachel: Yeah I know, but one of them just said that she loved me so I just gave her everything.
Mike's mom: No... It's lovely. The lights and the snow. I could look at them forever.
Phoebe: Alright, here's my $7.50. (Hands them the money) But I think you should know that this money is cursed.
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.)
Phoebe: See, we dont need them.
(Chandler pushes him through the door and Monica closes it behind them.)
Joey: All right look, let me show you the catalog! (Does so.) See? Huh? It's the latest thing! Everyone's got one! Men! Women! Children! Everyone's carrying them!
Emily: (Yelling from inside the bathroom) Youve spoiled everything! Its like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Joey: Thanks for stopping by. See ya! (Throws them out and closes the door.) (To Cecilia) I-I am so sorry. I
Ross: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see!
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
Monica: Okay. (Starting to go through them) Oh! A coloring book! (Holding it up.)
Rachel: Well, yknow he lost his keys so he was looking for them
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
CHANDLER: That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get.
Mr. Waltham: Sorry old boy, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. (Them all walk away. As he leaves he mutters to Jack.) I could kill you with my thumb, you know.
Phoebe: No, Im really okay with this. Yknow why? Cause look at them, and I made that, so I know its gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, its gonna feel like a million times better, right? I wanna do this. (To Frank and Alice) I wanna carry your baby.
Rachel: What are you talking about? I love them! (Looks into the cage) Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?
Monica: Well I dont have them either. Where are they?
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
Joey: You know, on the one hand you're happy for them, but on the other hand it's hard to let go.
Rachel: Well, it doesnt sound like it! I mean, its pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just dont kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing!
MONICA: Listen, um honey, I appreciate this but you don't have to keep hanging out with them for me, I mean, they have each other.
Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that youre really sarcastic, or that, yknow, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.
JOEY: Closed set. We know but we're friends with the monkey. [guard lets them in]
Uncle Dan: Heres a little something to get you started. (Hands them a check)
Monica: Ooh, these tennis shoes are so tight. I think Ill take them off. (Goes to do so.)
Chandler: Well, youre welcome. And tell them were really glad theyre coming.
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
The Second Guest: We went to college with both of them and now we live next door.
Joey: Somehow they got the idea that you only invited them because of me. They feel a little unwanted.
CHANDLER: Yeah, I mean, it would be rude to them for us to leave now.
MONICA: So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
Monica: Ross, if you dont tell them, then I will!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, its the one with the fake chocolate. Monica has baked some cookies and Phoebe is trying them.]
Monica: Ah no, you see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Years... but obviously someone forgot.
Ross: Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, theyre going to the theatre together! Theyre going to dinner! Theyre going horseback riding!
Rachel: Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute.
(She rises, dragging Chandler along by the wool. Rachel has to leap over a chair to follow them. Monica opens the door to find Mr. Heckles standing there.)
Ross: (happily again) You were worried about me? You didn't know how I was going to react? (He hugs them both.)
Phoebe: Oh my God!! (She runs after him, but sets of the security system, which locks the stores door and brings down a set of bars behind her, caging her in.) No! What?! Help me! Let me out! Now! (Points the musket at them.)
Monica: Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we wouldve made them get rid of the birds. Right?
Chandler: You do know, I can just turn them the other way around, right?
(Ross lets them both sit in his chair.)
Monica: No, no! We should divide them up (picks up the bowl) and I should get extra because we used my card to buy them!
Phoebe: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
Monica: See Chandler? Im getting a lot of use out of them already! Theyre very practical. See, you can wear them with dresses, with skirts, with pants
Ross: Im just glad I brought that extra pair of socks, yknow? I used them as mittens, I didnt want to touch a thing in that last place.
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
Frank: Hey, yknow I was thinking, what are the odds like if-if, if you stuff like 200 of them in there?
Monica: (Angrily.) You can let some of them go by!(Judy and Andrea go to the front of the chapel. Joey approaches Monica.)
RACHEL: Alright, just put your hands out and I'll back up into them.
ROSS: Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great.
Ross: Ah-ha, nowhere to run! (He starts to run towards them.)
CHAN: One. . . two. . . two and a half. OK, just show me one of them.
Rachel: Well, Im sorry, I thought you needed them!
PHOEBE: Well you know, you juist, you eat them and you can tell.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
Joey: Okay well that may be true. But, in-in okay, Air Force One the Russians were terrorists! And evil! And plus he kills a bunch of them! That-that-thats offensive to Russians.
Joey: Is it her fault that some of them didnt make it to you?
Mike: Ok, fine, these rats are our responsibility. What happens when they mate and there are hundreds of them?
Phoebe: Oh, I was telling them about you and Emily. Y'know, try to get some sympathy.
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
Monica: So do them for free.
Monica: Good? Didn�t you hear them...I was great! Thank you so much for making me do this. That�s is the best gift ever.
Phoebe: Come on you know what to do! You hire the first one! You dont hire an assistant because theyre cute, you hire them because theyre qualified.
Rachel: Ok, well, not a problem. We'll just use them to stop the bleeding. Ok. Baggage claim? Ok.
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
Monica: I know! Phoebe is gonna love dressing them in these!
Phoebe: Oh, we killed them all.
Phoebe: No, no maybe cause its harder to raise them, and the added expense, and
(Chandler opens the door and startles them. He picks up the paper)
Chandler: Ill tell you what, I will go get them developed and you can go home.
Phoebe: That is so great! Oh, I... (sees that a parked car near them has caught on fire) Oh my God!
(Joey turns around and sees them kissing.)
[Behind them, Joey goes up to the bandleader and interrupts the song.]
Monica: That's because I'm in front of them.
Chandler: Yeah, I've been to these places before, but I've never really seen them, you know.
Bonnie: (joining them) Hey guys.
Monica: Yeah, and yknow, if you could not mention to them that we live together, that would be great! (Quickly trying to change subjects), I was thinking we would eat around four.
Joey: What? Are you out of your mind? Lets throw some jello on them.