words in movies
[Rachel holds the tray between them. Chandler grabs the muffin before Monica can.]
PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
PHOEBE: No. Here. [Throws them on the table.] There. Ooh, double sixes.
CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
MONICA: I'm gonna set them to my time.
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
Tag: I just did them.
Ross: Look, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasnt true?!
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Monica: Okay. (She opens it up and shows it to them.)
(Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.)
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
Chandler: Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are drinking coffee and Phoebe notices a cute guy checking them out.]
Chandler: So she stole your pants and then she came back and wore them in front of you?
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
Monica: You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleecker. Could you pick them up for me?
Phoebe: Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own.
Tag: Im telling you, you never gave them to me.
Chandler: Well its just while Monica and I were dancing to them it was the first time I knew that you were the woman I wanted to dance all my dances with.
Joey: No-no! Im fine. Its just Hey, can I ask you something? Have you ever looked at someone that youve known for a while and then suddenly suddenly see them a different way?
Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?
Joey: All right, uh, weve got a little bit of a problem here. These people are my friends; you cant treat them that way.
Ross: Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow.
Joey: (behind them) Oh!! Shrimp toast! (Walks right past the little group on his way for the shrimp toast.)
(Joey offers them some potato chips.)
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
Rachel: Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Monica: (yelling after them) I cant believe youre gonna have sex on my engagement night!!
(He bends over to pick them up, right in front of Rachel, who then gets a free peep show.)
Chandler: Because we hate them.
JOEY: Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have?
Monica: But you told them you werent?
MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
Chandler: Yknow, itll be okay. Itll be okay. Because when they come over, I will be all charming, I will make them fall in love with me, and then well tell em.
Monica: I don't, I just, I just like the smell of them. So, uh, what are you really doing here Dad?
Chandler: (to the two guys) Excuse me. (Chandler and Ross move away from them). That didn't make us sound gay at all!
Rachel: Some of them.
Joey: Well I didn't tell them!
Monica: (gasps) Totally familiar. (Phoebe shows the rest of them.)
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Monica: Them?! Who's them?
Rachel: Oh, can we read them?
(Joey agrees and heads to take them off.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, we could teach them to sing, and we can be like the Von Trapp family! Only without the Nazis. Although that sounds kinda dull.
David: Yeah. Well I-I got like thirty of them.
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
Chandler: Honey, Im gonna save you some time, 200 CDs, not one of them in the right case.
Phoebe: You told them he was missing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Phoebe: Me too! So happy for them!
Joey: I dont know. Just uh, just tell em it was a mix-up with the invitations, orNo-no-no! Blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish! But I dont think you can blame it on them so (He dials the phone and hands it to Monica.)
Rachel: It's just physical and I have it totally under control! Ok? It's just, when I see them together, sometimes I just get a little jealous!
Monica: Oh, I know, I never wear fake ones. I just did it so my Mom wouldnt give me grief about me biting them.
Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not (accent) Phoebe...
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
Jill: Totally, I love them! And, maybe you could finish telling me about all the different kinds of sand.
Fireman No. 3: Are you kidding? My girlfriend doesn't know, I'm not gonna tell them!
(He turns to look at Joey who smiles slyly and closes the door leaving them alone.)
Chandler: Oh honey, leave them alone, theyre in love.
Chandler: The cameras? Remember last night I told you to take them?
Joey: I dont want them to move to a Volvo dealership!
Joey: (entering) You opened them all?
Ross: Yeah, hey I-I have clothes, I even pick them out. I mean for, for all you know I could be a fashion..... monger.
Rachel: Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. (Sitting down on the couch.) You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.
Ross and Joey: No-no-no-no-no. (They start to turn away, but Phoebe stops them, and turns them back to face her.)
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?
Chandler: Oh yeah, I should probably call them.
Rachel: (entering) Forgot my purse! (Sees them kissing.) Oh, you guys made up. (To Mona) Hes a good kisser isnt he? (Ross goes to close the door on her.) Im going! (Quickly leaves and Ross locks the door.)
Rachel: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them. I'm going for fours.
FBOB: Well, I would make them Belgian, but the waffles are hard to get into that flask.
Rachel: Well I assume the ah, happy couple isnt up yet. Did you guys hear them last night?
Dr. Franzblau: I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
Phoebe: Hey! Joey! (They all head over to him, he spots them coming and panics.) Hey! Hey!! Wow! (She hugs him.)
Phoebe: What?! No, you cant, you cant leave me here with them! Were baby-sitting!
Rachel: (waving them in his face) Take 'em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.
Monica: Oh great! (Shows them the picture.)
Erica: Yeah, when I read about you two, I was pretty sure I wanted you, but I just thought we should meet face to face. (to the agency guy). I've made my decision. I choose them.
[Scene: Doug's house, Chandler, Monica, and them are just finishing dinner.]
Phoebe: All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here.
Joey: No! No, Im the minister! All right, look-look, put em both on the phone, Ill marry them right now.
Monica: (turns to them) Ok, alright, you guys, you'd better sit down, this is pretty big.
Rachel: All right, I took them. But I figured it would be okay because you got a big ink stain on the crotch.
MONICA: So, are you sorry that I told them?
Phoebe: Oh no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother.
Emily: I cant believe theyre doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him!
Rachel: You gave them to me!
Joey: All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. "Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine."
[Chandler goes to take off Jacks coat. He then notices little white flakes on Jacks shoulders. He begins to wipe them off.]
Phoebe: Well then get your money back and return them!
Monica: I can't believe you let them win!
Monica: Wait, you like them with me.
Chandler: Yknow I think we should invite them.
Monica: Hey. Oh good-good youre here! All right, I figured it out. Im gonna take two tables of eight, Im gonna add your parents, and Im gonna turn them into three tables of six. Okay? And I called the caterer; I added two extra meals, we are good to go!
MONICA: Listen you guys, I don't mean to be a pain about this but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on. You wanna push the caps until you hear them click. [she demonstrates, Gunther starts to walk to the door] Gunther, where're you going?
Monica: Yknow, I really have to tell Rachel, but I We just have to get it over with! Yknow, the next time we see them were just gonna tell them. Okay? Thats it.
Rachel: Yeah, my mom got my dads season tickets in the divorce, so she just gave them to me.