words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
MONICA: No, but that's probably 'cause I haven't asked them yet.
(Two girls sitting at a table next to them look up in disgust, and Ross and Joey move away)
Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)
Rachel: (on tape) I-I knowI had put them in in-in my desk at work and I completely forgot about them until today.
Monica: (joining them) Hey.
Monica: It was so wild. We told them we were the Gunnersens in room six fifteen. Only to find out the Boston Celtics had taken over the entire sixth floor!
Rachel: (joining them) Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didnt call. I mean youd think hed be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!
Carol: Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus.
Rachel: Yeah that seems fair. We never use them.
Ross: Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball.
Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel's friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)
Joey: Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing, y'know me going up against Ben, the two of us competing, and that can't lead to anything good. So, I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'm gonna tell them that I won't audition.
Chandler: I dont care! (turns around and to the people watching them) I dont care!!
Chandler: You gave them one day's notice, not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday and Monica... it's probably the way you stand!
Phoebe: Joey? How could you just let them leave?
Rachel: Oh, God, ask them what they want.
Ross: They don't like it when you keep asking them if they like you.
Monica: Chandler! (Joey and his grandmother shush them and wave them away, which they do.) Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.
(She finishes cutting them up and they all cheer.)
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)
Rachel: Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them.
Monica: (entering from her bedroom carrying a present) Ok, these were unbelievably expensive, and I know he's gonna grow out of them in like, 20 minutes, but I couldn't resist. (There a little pair of Nike shoes.)
Chandler: (joining them) Okay, how'd it go at the doctor's?
(Chandler runs to check on them coming up the stairs.)
The Woman: Please! I have people coming from out of town today! And, I told them all about your candy!
Ross: Well I checked in the uh, lost and found, I talked to the manager, no-ones turned them.
Will: Could you also tell them Im skinny now?
Monica: Hand me those tomatoes, Im gonna show you what it should taste like! Come on, hand me them.
Monica: How'd you pay for them?
Aurora: ...Like, ...all of them?
(Monica does a fake laugh. For the laughs, you'll have to see the episode. I can't describe them.)
Ross: (showing them the page) Here, check it out. Its the first one, too.
Chandler: Well, I was cleaning out the closet and I found some pictures of them... being used.
Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! Shes always best at us that wily minx.
Monica: (removes them) Thats because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and its static cling. Or maybe its just that God knew Id be running into you and saw an opportunity.
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones up with shock waves, but they're to close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra
Monica: No, no, no, I don't make chocolate pies. When I was younger I-I enter in this pie-eating contest. I ate so many that just the thought of them made me sick.
Monica: I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them!
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.
Rachel: Phoebe you cant have both of them! You have to pick one!
Monica: (coming back to the stage and sitting next to Chandler) Okay, Ive got some Ones, you wanna put them in her panties?
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, this is so stupid! I mean, I gave Barry up, right? I should be happy for them! I am, I'm happy for them.
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
(The guy walks past them)
Phoebe: And! And, theyre gonna have a baby! (The gang is shocked.) And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. (The gang is stunned into silence.)
Rachel: I’m telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, the went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy!
Monica: How about, youre moving!! (Grabs a bunch of clothes and throws them into a box. What follows is a brief sequence of Rachel unpacking and Monica packing the same stuff over and over again as Rachel chants "No." and Monica chants "Yes.")
Phoebe: Well, 'cause then they'd be like my mom used to make them, you know, before she died.
Joey: You usually find them on the 'heaving beasts'.
Rachel: No, really. Really, Pheebs, youre not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when theyre bad, yknow, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just wont calm down. Yknow?
Phoebe: (waking and startling them) Oh! What what what! ...Hi.
Chandler: We used them as pillows when we went camping.
Monica: No, I just talked to them.
Monica: Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?
(A man carrying a box of bananas walks past them. They stare for a minute and then hobble after him)
Monica: Give them to me.
Joey: (thinking) Uhm... oh! Okay. You come with me, and you tell them that the house is haunted!
Sarah: (approaching with two filled balloons in her hands) Nobody! We put them in here! (Indicates the aforementioned balloons causing both of them to scream in delight and start drinking from the balloons.)
Chandler: No, wed just like to close them.
Monica: I like them a lot.
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Ross: Oh hey, show them the picture of your uterus.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is dusting. She comes to the table, lifts all the magazines and wipes under them, then just puts them down again. Monica bursts in, obviously drunk.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. The scene starts where we took off in the last episode with Ross seeing Joey and Rachel kissing. Rosss tares at them.]
Janice: I had them made special.
(They all laugh and Joey joins them, not to be left out. When the laughing dies down, he has a depressed look on his face.)
Rachel: (upset) Oh my Goood! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
Monica: Well, because every time we do, you make jokes about swinging and scare them away.
Chandler: (shocked at the news) Why cant I tell them that we live together?
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Ross: Show them to me!
Ross: No, Im not gonna pick them up.
Monica: Yes, they are. The Blymens invited them.
Chandler: (to Ross): I thought we had them!
(Monica and Chandler both remember a special moment between them.)
Monica: Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne.
(The teacher comes up to them.)
Monica: Frannie was the one who found your Playboys and showed them to mom.
Joey: (watches them for a while) Oh my.
Ross: Yes it is. See. (Shows them the piece of paper she gave him with her name and phone number on it.)
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
Phoebe: Thats right, there you go! Crushes happen all the time! I know Ive had them for all you guys. Well, except for Ross and Chandler. And Im sure youve had them for us.
Joey: Well Id be scared of them, but all right.
RACHEL: Both of them are here, both of them, both of them are here?
Monica: All right, all right. Maybe I can fit them in if I just do some rearranging. But uh, Rachel may actually have to sit at the bar!
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
Phoebe: Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them.
Monica: Come on, we can't let them win!
Phoebe: Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.
Rachel: Okay, you're coming with me, and I also told them that if we're still here when they get off that we'll go down to the cafeteria and have some Jell-O with them.
MONICA: Well, maybe you don't need them.
Frank Jr.: Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up. I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies.
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
[cut to Ross from his appartment, holding baby toys and is shocked to see them kissing]
Joey: Oh-oh-oh, yeah! (He grabs some towels and takes them to him.) That's right, you take good care of those babies!
Phoebe: Oh, hey, y'know what? Tell them that bone story.
Monica: You have to help me! Im supposed to be writing my vows and all I have is this! (Shows them what shes been working on.)
Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. May the happiness we share with them today be with them always. Now Emily, repeat after me. I, Emily...