words in movies
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
Phoebe: No! Seven rats! I think we should take them home, we need feed them.
Ross: Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.
Ross: We have to stop them before something happens!
Phoebe: Ok, ok, you start preparing the formula and I start changing the box and then we gotta put them straight to bed.
Mike: Ok, fine, these rats are our responsibility. What happens when they mate and there are hundreds of them?
Phoebe: No. (opens the box) wh - get off your sister! Oh my god, what are we gonna do? We have 7 rats. So what if each of them has 7 rats? And then each of those have 7 rats? That's like ... (starts counting with her fingers) That's math I can't even do! What are we gonna do?
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.
Phoebe: Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. (Mike is shocked) I haven't told you about that yet, have I?
[cut to Ross from his appartment, holding baby toys and is shocked to see them kissing]
Joey: Or ha-ha, we could go over there and pee on them.
(Ross appears at the window behind them crouched behind a garbage can and ready to spring his attack on who he thinks are Phoebe and Rachel. The camera cuts to the exterior view and Phoebe and Rachel call the shots from inside.)
Monica: I loved them!
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
Monica: Gimme them!
Monica: You stole them from me!
Phoebe: I cant believe he taped the two of them having sex!
Chandler: If its not, then theres two of them. And that would mean its the end of the world!
Chandler: Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.
Ross: Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know Im sure thats not gonna happen this time, why dont I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolphs.
[Scene: Monica, Fun Bobby, and Phoebe sitting in Central Perk Rachel is serving them. She brings a mug to Monica.]
Ross: Or! Or, we could go to the bank, close our accounts and cut them off at the source.
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)
ROSS: Well then that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. Look, if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it.
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
Ross: So uh, what did you tell them about me?
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
Monica: She lets you borrow them.
(Chandler and Monica walk over to the kitchen-counter and leave their keys. Then the other four pick out their keys and leave them as well.)
Phoebe: No, its not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on.
Phoebe: Let's run towards them!
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
[Scene: Outside the Janitors Closet, there are people having sex and Mr. Geller is trying to give them some pamphlets.]
Joey: But my mom always makes them. It's like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease.
(They try to stop him, not sure of what he's planning. He ignores them and goes to talk to Ross.)
(They start making out again, and it takes Joey trying to enter to stop them.)
MRS. GELLER: No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Paul: Ill call the university and tell them about your relationship and have you fired.
Rachel: Man! He just keeps lobbing them up and I just keep knocking them right out of the park!
Monica: Let me try. (Gets up to join them.)
[Chandler puts a coin in the mini jukebox at the table. YMCA starts playing and Monica and the rest of the staff have to get on the counter and start singing along and dancing. After a couple of couruses, Chandler pulls out a handful of coins and drops them on the table.]
Monica: Good. Okay, Im just gonna wait for Chandler to open the rest of them.
Rachel: We are so gonna find them this year.
Chandler: I just didn't want to tell you in front of them.
Rachel: You stole them from me!!
Chandler: Why havent you told them?!
Monica: No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. (He glares at her.) Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?
Rachel: (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this!
Phoebe: No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
ROSS: Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them.
(Both of them remove their hats as Phoebe enters.)
Monica: (interrupts him) If someone wants to give us a present, we dont want to deprive them of that joy.
Chandler: Youre gonna be carrying their baby and give them a Sony Play Station?
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Joey: Yeah. I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up.
Ross: (entering) Uh fellas, (Does the maneuver and gives them a double thumbs up, which Chandler returns as he closes the door.)
Joey: (overhearing them) Oh-ho, and mine!
Monica: (in the kitchen with Chandler) Look at them, they're-they're panicked!
Monica: (indignant) I give good massages! (Ross laughs.) I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler loves them! Watch! (She starts giving Chandler a massage.)
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Rachel: No seriously, yknow the contracts I gave you, did you overnight them?
Monica: So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong!
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler are there. They have lots of brochures about adoption in front of them.]
Ross: Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one!
Interviewer: You gonna slice them up real nice?
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, youre the boss! Why dont you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
(They watch them making up and sigh)
Chandler: Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
Monica: Hi honey. We just got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing; they dont like us do they? (They gave them a pok-a-dotted punch bowl.)
Ross: No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think Im interested in them.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
ROSS: C'mon, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them.
Phoebe: Ill give you $1 for them.
Joey: All right. But, youre gonna have to tell them. (He opens the cabinet to reveal the chick and the duck living inside with Christmas lights and a disco ball as decorations.)
Joey: Yeah! Ask them if they brought their friends any souvenirs!
MONICA: Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne.
Monica: Cause they took our apartment, I wanted to punish them. But Im-Im done now. Theyve suffered enough.
Monica: Okay you were right! All right, I never should have bought them! Theyre killing me! One toe at a time!
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, you're lucky I caught them when I did, or else who knows what woulda happened.
Chandler: And protected them from a tornado?
Rachel: No! Im so happy for them!
Joey: (answering the door.) Hey, how did you do that?! Come on in. (He brings them inside.)
Monica: Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story Ive had such a craving for them.
Rachel: Ahh, I dont believe you. I think you dont want them to see you begging me. (Goes to put the tape in the VCR)
CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
CHANDLER: If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y=know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. "Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout!
Joey: All right, here we go. (He grabs them and starts to pull them out of the apartment.)
Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?
Tag: I just did them.
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
Ross: Look, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasnt true?!
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Monica: Okay. (She opens it up and shows it to them.)
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
Chandler: Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'.
(Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.)
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
Monica: You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleecker. Could you pick them up for me?
Chandler: So she stole your pants and then she came back and wore them in front of you?
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are drinking coffee and Phoebe notices a cute guy checking them out.]
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
Tag: Im telling you, you never gave them to me.