words in movies
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Mrs. Green: Well then you really dont need me to live with you.
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Monica: (pauses then on the phone) Uh- Rachel has left the building, can you call back?
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
LIPSON: Well he got sick, and then he got sicker, and then he got a little better but then he died.
Ross: I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me.And then the other day on the subway a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.
Rachel: UCHH! <much louder and longer then Amy's>
Chandler: Yes, here it comes! Im stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I dont think so mister!
Joey: Hey, yeah! Then we could do that telephone thing! Y'know, you have a can, we have a can and it's connected by a string!
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
Phoebe: Can you believe this? (Rachel exhales in amazement.) We were waiting for a hot guy and then an even hotter one shows up!
Rachel: No. (grabs an eggroll) And then I called him, and he wasnt there.
(Joey frowns...then looks as if he understands)
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Joey: Hey! How come my plate's less fancy then everyone else's? Do you not trust me with a fancy plate?
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is working as Nina knocks, then opens the door.]
Ross: Then I'm happy too. (They're still hugging - fade out)
Rachel: Oh, give me! (opens the box happily, then gets freaked and throws away the box, she and Mon jump up the sofa)
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Phoebe: No. (opens the box) wh - get off your sister! Oh my god, what are we gonna do? We have 7 rats. So what if each of them has 7 rats? And then each of those have 7 rats? That's like ... (starts counting with her fingers) That's math I can't even do! What are we gonna do?
Emily: Right, Ive got to be off, Ill see ya. Buh-bye then. (She leaves.)
Chandler: Then I got all needy and clingy.
Chandler: Phoebe thinks you and Don are soul mates, and I dont believe in that kind of stuff. But then you two totally get along. So look, I wont stand in your way if you want to run off with Don and live in a house of cheese.
Rachel: Well then Joey, what the hell were you doing with an engagement ring?!
Joey: Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.
Gene: It's heavier then milk!
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you werent sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)
(Chandler looks at the bill, thinking... then looks at the offer in the Newspaper and makes some dancing moves to see if he's up for the job...)
Joey: Well all right then, I guess I shouldnt get to excited about the fact (excitedly) that I just kissed her!
Phoebe: Then what's wrong with them? Would they not go with your tiny portions of pretentious food?
Chandler: and then it got canceled.
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss.)
Ross: Oh! Well then this is awkward. So what do you uh
Joey: What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married (to Phoebe) Congratulations! (pointing to Monica and Chandler)... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs...
Ms. McKenna: Then, problem solved. Chandler will be running our office in Tulsa. Youre gonna love Oklahoma.
Chandler: (pours more and slides the refill to Joey) All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?
Chandler: Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Phoebe: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on thethat looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say hi! but then I figured, he doesnt care if he looks like you.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
Monica: Yeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over at the restaurant. And then you realised if you (Points at Rachel) bitched about it, then you (Points to herself) would stop cooking, and you (Points at Rachel) would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke.
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Joey: No, I do six things! First, I look deep in her eyes. Then, I kiss her. Next I take my hand and I softly graze her thigh.
Phoebe: Hm, I mean maybe no-one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every now and then, I get the feeling that she's like right here, y'know? (She circles her hand around her right shoulder. Chandler, sitting on her right, draws back nervously) Oh! And Debbie, my best friend from junior high- got struck by lightning on a miniature golf course- I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those little yellow pencils, y'know? ...I miss her.
Monica: Okay fine! Fine! Then you know what, Ill just write about Phyllis! Hmm!
Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin! You canooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when youre old, Cappy.
Chandler: Well, maybe it was the kind of food that tasted good at first but then made everybody vomit and have diarrhea.
[Scene: Downstairs at Danny's party, Monica and Rachel are coming down the stairs and Rachel has on a coat to make it look as if she's just getting back. But just as they reach the landing they see Danny out in the hall talking to a guest, Rachel then quickly pulls Monica back up the stairs.]
Joey: All right well, I'll take you someplace nice then. Look! A guy tipped me a hundred bucks today.
Ross: Yeah, but we-we have to be at the Four Seasons for drinks in 15 minutes and then yknow, then The Plaza for dinner.
PHOEBE: Alright, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones?
Joey: No! Never! Never! (Pause, then Joey wants to shake Rosss hand.) Bye.
(They both look at each other, then Phoebe gets an idea.)
Rachel: No, I-I just dont know how you decide who to hire. I mean Ive got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then theres this guy
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
CHANDLER: I've met the perfect woman. OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says, 'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?'
Joey: Sure. I went through the exact same thing with Alicia Mae Emory... The waiting, the wandering... Then one day... I get that call from Toys "R" Us... She was in stock!
Monica: Then you two can, can sneak into the cockpit, and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in (Ross looks at her.) Ive been watching too much porn.
Ross: Yeah, she never misses these conferences! (then to Charlie) No, I just saw Dr. Kenneth Schwartz!
Ross: Look I-I realize if anything were to happen with me and Jill then nothing could ever happen with us!
(She looks at Ross, a bit ashamed. Chandler mimes "big breasts" to Ross and lip syncs "Wow". Ross looks at him, astonished and then Monica looks at Chandler again. A little too late he changes the "big breasts" mime into "rocking a baby". When he realizes Monica might have seen it he also strokes his imaginary baby's head.)
Ross: Well, then, I think, I think the guy is scum. I hate him. I mean I actuallyI-I physically hate him. I always have. You are way too good to be with a guy like that.
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are there. Rachel is writing something on a pad, and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.]
(Rachel walks inside, stops, and turns back to look at Ross for a moment then goes upstairs.)
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
Rachel: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all.
(He tries to move in front of the class, only goes out of control and rolls into the hall, catching himself on the doorway with his pointer. He then pulls himself back into the room with the pointer, only he jams one end of it between the door frame and the door and breaks the pointer in half.)
Phoebe: And then for forgetting to invite you to it.
Phoebe: Oh, if thats what you want you then you really should run his head under hot water and bang his head against a table.
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back.
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"
JOEY: Well, I get the medical award for separating the siamese twins. Then Amber and I go to Venezuela to meet our other half-brother, Ramone. And that's where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big but it's cursed.
Monica: (rolling towards the office) Im quitting!! Woo-hoo! (She rolls through a doorway and out of sight. We then hear a big crash, and see Monica roll past the door the other way.) Im okay!! Im all right!!
Monica: I thought it might be true. And I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me.
Monica: Why don't you just have a seat here? (he sits at the table, then tries to secretly eat the Gummi-bears. Monica spots him.) OK... give me the Gummi-bears.
Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry, oh, I just, I thought we could have them whipped and then add some peas and onions.
Phoebe: Then thats not breaking the law! Im there!
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Monica) You guys, what, what do we do about Ross who drove all the way up here? What do we do? Just like send him back and were then gonna go skiing?
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldnt give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
Parker: Fine! Well then to quote Ross, "Id better be going."
Monica: And then Chandler was, was really sweet and he consoled me. And well we drank too much
Phoebe: That is correct! Yes, youre supposed to take all of that stuff and put it in a little box in your mind and then lock it up tight.
Rachel: I can get a quick bite to eat, but then I have to come back up here.
Phoebe: (to Joey): Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Chandler: Well then there was the second set, the infamous booger head shots.
Ross: Try sixty-five million years ago, and then try sssshhhhhh.... My tenure review board met today and I hear it's looking really good.
Matt: (everyone laughs) And then it was like four takes later before we could get through it with a straight face.
Phoebe: Oh! Its okay, you calm down after a while and then people can see how really sweet and wonderful you really are.
Phoebe: Yes you do! This is your third divorce! You love divorce so much youre probably gonna marry it! Then it wont work out and youre gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy. (Pause) Im so drunk.
Jill: Well okay, if it means that much to you, then Ill ask him out.
(They both look up, and watch it start to snow. Then they both start fighting for the ball again.)
Monica: All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)
Ross: Look, you were right. She looks at me and sees a friend, that's all. But then I met Julie, and I don't know, we're havin' a great time. And I have to say, I never would've gone for it with her if it hadn't been for you.
Rachel: Yeah. Its just gonna be too hard. Yknow? I mean, its Ross. How can I watch him get married? Yknow its just, its for the best, yknow it is, its Yknow, plus, somebodys got to stay here with Phoebe! Yknow shes gonna be pretty big by then, and she needs someone to help her tie her shoes; drive her to the hospital in case she goes into labour.
(Chandler has a basketball which he is moving closer to, then away from, Monica)