words in movies
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, Rachel is already there with her date, Tommy who's played by Ben Stiller who will be in There's Something About Mary and Meet The Parents, as Ross and his date, Cailin, arrive.]
[Scene: The Theatre, at the post premiere party. The gang is already there, except Phoebe. Joey runs in.]
Chandler: (seeing Joey) There he is!
Monica: Theres our star!
Joey: (Checks to see if shes drooling on his shirt.) Okay. Okay, okay, hey. (Lays her down and covers her with a blanket.) There we go, lets get your feet up there. (Looks at her) Good night, Kate. Sweet dreams. (Picks up a garbage can) Im gonna put this can right here in case you have to hurl.
Lauren: (at the window, shes looking down out of the window) What do you got down there, Vic? What do you got under that tarp?
Tommy: (noticing the chick) Ooh, hey! Hey, there little fella. (picks up the chick) Mr. Fuzzy-Man, how are you doing? (starts to pet him) Aww. (The chick poops on his hand.) Eww! Oh! Eww! Gross! Idiot!! Stupid little, fuzzy, yellow creature!! Oh look at me, Im so cute, Im a little chick whos disgusting! God, youre so stupid, how are you not yet extinct!! (the duck wattles behind him and quacks) (to the duck) Quack-quack, quack-quack!! What are you quacking about?! Dumb Donald Doo-Doo!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, except Joey, is there. Phoebe is, well you y'know.]
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
Chandler: Whoa, snowing out there?
Chandler: Why? Do you another boyfriend in there or something?
Phoebe: Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there?
Joey: (Very discouraged) Okay, is there anything else?
Phoebe: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.
Monica: They wouldnt have put it there if it didnt do something! How can you not care?
Ross: Okay, but just the jacket. Double-oh and seven are not gettin in there.
Chandler: Im right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now theres no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!
Chandler: Well lets see, there was the guy with the ferrets, thats plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!
Mr. Geller: Theres no way in hell, Im paying for it.
(There are three short whistle blasts from the bathroom.)
Joey: Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.
Chandler: (shocked) There are seven?! (Points to one) Thats one?
Monica: Ohhh! Let me see! Oh God, I can't believe this! They're an hour late and they're just staying out there, talking!
Rachel: Ohh, out, oh God, I don't know why we didn't think to check there!
Rachel: I don't know. I don't know... I thought about it all the way there, and I thought about it all the way back... and, uh, oh, you guys, y'know, it's Ross. Y'know what I mean? I mean, it's Ross.
Chandler: (examining the cake) Okay well, this side looks bigger. Uh Theres more crust on this side. Yknow? So, maybe if I measured
[Scene: Joe-G's Pizza, the guys are there.]
Phoebe: There is nothing wrong with Jake! Okay? He is all man! Im thinking even more than you.
Eric: No wait! Theres only a problem when I look at you. (Sits down on the couch.) Oh I got it! I got it. (Puts his hands to his eyes.)
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
Chandler: And theres daddy!
Ross: Chandler, can I just say something? I-I know you're still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? Two sets of lips.
Pete: Yeah. Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win. I want you close enough to smell the blood. What do you think?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Joey: Is there anything we should know about the apartment?
Chandler: Okay. Ill be right there.
Phoebe: But everybody sings. It's so much fun! Last time this adorable old man got out there, forgot all of the words, flipped outand everyone booed him off the stage. So funny.
Chandler: There is nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh?
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Phoebe: Okay. Well theres one down.
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
The Director: Lets take it from there.
JOEY: [walks out of his room] Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my neice's christening, I'll go down to the coffee house with you and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee alright. No problem, Joey's there.
ROSS: Look, don't blame us. You guys coulda been there, you know.
Monica: Shes right there.
[Scene: The Days of Our Lives producers office, Joey is entering to find Terry there.]
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Umm, maybe you can start with, "Chandler, even though we were friends; there was a part of me that always knew I wanted more."
Issac: Chloe, switch with me, theres some guys here that got a crush on you.
Phoebe: We can't leave now! There was this one baby, Haley, who was favourite to win and she got croup, so she had to stay home! This competition just blew wide open, folks!
Matt: Okay, Ill just put a little more booze on there. (Pours some more on.)
Chandler: Not that big a deal? There there was touching of things.
Rachel: Well, it was just something Josh said about v-necks, but you had to be there.
(Ross opens the door to reveal Whitney standing there.)
Joey: Youre still a tiny bit on fire there!
Phoebe: There he goes, your fianc�e.
Rachel: You guys, theres a little girl in Soho looking for this cat. I mean, you know what that means?!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Rachel: Really?! Got a little crush on Tag there do ya?
Mona: Oh good. Now therell be someone there who likes my name.
Joey: Youre still a tiny bit on fire there.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, firemen are there to handle the bonfire that got out of control.]
(There is no response from Rachel.)
Rachel: Yeah, I went to a wedding once where they had swing music and uh, two months later the couple got divorced. And now Im not saying that theres any connection here yknow, but they did tell me thats why they got divorced.
CHANDLER: Really? Wow. That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there.
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and thats what they gave me? (Looks up) When I get up there Im going to kick some ass.
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Chandler is walking by the elevators and sees Bob standing there.]
Phoebe: Well, it seems like there weren't any tears 'til you showed her the bill.
Joey: Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.
Joey: Theres the waitress. Excuse me, Miss. Hello, Miss?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandlers bachelor party has begun, what there is of it, with only Joey (wearing a gold paper top hat) and Chandler (wearing what appears to be a Burger King paper crown) enjoying a nice product placement of Budweisers on ice.]
Joey: There you go!
Director: Uh, yeah. Now you guys dance over there, you guys over there, and I want you two right around here, and everyone else spread out.
{Transcribers Note: As with all the cliffhangers, there was no credits scene. There will be a ninth and final season of Friends starting sometime in September. See you then, have a good summer everyone.}
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Rachel: Wow. There it is, I see it.
Ross: Theres the one!
Joey: Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! (He whips out the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.)
Rachel: There I am.
Chandler: And I will cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and do anything in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, Rachel is serving brownies.]
Chandler: Why is there jelly on your shoe?
Chandler: Okay, look, Joey! Come on, think about it, first of all, hell never be President. Theres never gonna be a President Joey.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is a beeping noise coming from the living room and Phoebe sleepily goes to investigate.]
Chandler: Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two pack�a�a carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. (How many cigarettes are there in one pack and how many packs in one carton in the US?) But it�s over, I made a decision, I�m not gonna smoke anymore.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Ross are there.]
Phoebe: Okay, I understand why Superman is here, but why is there a porcupine at the Easter Bunnys funeral?
Monica: What?! Theres only been like four kids.
Chandler: Theres no question.
Ross: Ok, now, is there anything I can do to... you know, butter him up? Anything he really likes?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
Phoebe: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.
Joey: I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her.
Joshua: Oh, theyre working on this week, its a total mess. But uh, Im staying at my parents house, we could go there.
PHOEBE: Um, is, is there any chance that you're rounding up? You know, like from, like 20?
You don't have to be awake to be my man, As long as you have brainwaves I'll be there to hold your hand. Though we just met the other day, There's something I have got to say...
Monica: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?
RACHEL: [on phone] Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know, ya see there I'm thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. [hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket]
Joey: Good, good yeah, (Grabs the bags) maybe while were there, they can check your reflexes. (Joey opens the door and it hits Ross in the face with it.) (Makes quote marks.) "Oops."
Rachel: Well okay, how about four hours in a freezing museum auditorium listening to Professor Pitstains and hes Hey everybody! Remember that thing thats been dead for a gazillion years. Well theres this little bone we didnt know it had!
Phoebe: Wow! Oh well, I will be there!
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.]
Chandler: Yeah, yeah right over there.
[Scene: Central Perk, all except Chandler, are there.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter wearing workout clothes.]
Joey: All right, and over there is Bradys Pub where I like to unwind after a long day of surgeoning.
Chandler: And thats the Chrysler Building right there.
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Phoebe: Oh good! (And theres general excitement.)