words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work, and without picking up the phone leans down to it.) (Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
Ross: They're still, they're still not coming on man and the lotion and the powder have made a paste!
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Phoebe: That's weird. (Pause.) I bet they're doing it.
Phoebe: Uh huh. But they're not your friends anymore.
Monica: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.'
Ross: I- I think they're great! I, I really do.
MONICA: It's not gonna happen. They're doing it tonight, we can do it tomorrow.
Rachel: Hi! You guys, the car-service just got here. I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still in their chairs watching TV. Chandler is ordering a pizza.]
Rachel: Okay, they are. (No they're not.)
CHANDLER: Ya know Phoebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time.
[Scene: The gate at the airport. The passengers are standing in line, and they're about to board the plane again.]
INTERVIEWER: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
Phoebe: Okay, I wanna be sexy again so I'm trying to catch a cold. It should be easy, supposedly they're pretty common.
Chandler: No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite.
Chandler: (speaking as in pain) They're never coming down now.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
Roger: Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love.
[Scene: The ride along, they're all waiting outside of the witness's house and still in the car in the same places as before.]
Rachel: Oh please, they're having sex.
Rachel: Alright, now I really have to go. Okay. Au revoir! Oh, they're gonna really hate me over there.
RACH: Joey, honey, they don't know what they're talking about.
Joey: Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! (They have two of the cops on the street, then they cut to where they're entering an apartment.) Oh my God.
Chandler: Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot.
Rachel: They're male nurses.
Joey: You mean how they're friends and nothing more? (Glares at Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
RTST: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
Chandler: See? They're Joey's! J-J-J-J-J-Joey's!
Joey: Yeah, they're mine.
Ross: Well, they're not mine!
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
RICHARD: Uh, they're not in it.
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
LITTLE BULLY: And look where they're sitting.
RACHEL: Ok, let me take these cakes back 'cause they're gonna take that out of my paycheck.
Phoebe: My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!
Phoebe: (Phoebe hangs up and someone knocks on the door. She gasps.) They're here already? How are they doing this?
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
Joey: They're gonna do it together.
Kathy: Okay, I've got some ugly friends, and they're all available too.
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
Chandler: Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's!
Monica: They're still in my coat.
JOEY: I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets!
[Scene: We're back to the present. Chandler and Monica's. They're all still at the kitchen table.]
(Chandler enters and sees what they're watching, panics, and runs to turn off the TV.)
Ross: Oh, I hope they're not ruined.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. The table is set, and there's food on the tables again. They're all there, toasting.]
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
Rachel: Yes, but still. They're people with eyes.
Chandler: Yeah umm, they're called wallets.
Rachel: Because they're people.
PRODUCER:They're your backup singers... beind you.
[They leave. As they're walking out, the bullies are walking in.]
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
RICHARD: Hey. They're just trying to decide somehting.
PHOEBE: Oh yes. Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip.
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
Monica: No really, they're OK.
Interviewer: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
Monica: Ohhh! Let me see! Oh God, I can't believe this! They're an hour late and they're just staying out there, talking!
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
CHANDLER: Well I do, but uh, Eddie makes them this way and, well they're pretty darn good.
Rachel: (waving them in his face) Take 'em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're still arguing about what to name the baby.]
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.
Chandler: So they're going on dates? When?
[Joey just laughs as a third set of flashbacks featuring Chandlers mistakes starts. The first flashback is from The One With The Prom Video. It's Chandler telling Phoebe how much he hates the bracelet Joey bought him. They're both at Central Perk.]
DUNCAN: No, but it'll be OK, they're pretty cool, my brother's straight so. . .
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
Rachel: No-no, they're not very nice people.
JOEY: Hey, hey, they're runnin'
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
[Scene: Gary and Phoebe's apartment, it's morning and they're both waking up in bed.]
RACHEL: No, I know, they're from me. Look you guys this is not good. I mean we have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind without taking it from each other.
ROSS: Well, ya know, they're a little behind the times in Colonial Williamsburg.
Phoebe: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.
Monica: Ok..You know the old classics you know,You look nice? They're still ok.
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
Frank Jr.: Yeah, I really cherish these moments, 'cause before you know it, they're gonna be awake again.
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
Mike: You can't keep a rat in your appartment! They're extremely unsanitary, and they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus.
Rachel: Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong.
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, they're entering to find boxes strewn about the apartment.]
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still watching TV. Phoebe stands in front of the TV.]
Rachel: (entering, interrupting them) Hey guys! What's... (sees what they're doing and stops, the guys are stunned)
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
CHANDLER: Ok, they're coming, shhh. [Runs into Monica's apartment and grabs one last girl to take to his apartment]
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're talking about how this is going to work.]
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Joey: Hey! I'm in, they're gonna let me audition!
Phoebe: Ohhh. Thanks Chandler they're great!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're in the kitchen as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, they've pretty much consumed the entire mini-bar. Needless to say, they're feeling no pain and are still playing blackjack.]
RACHEL: Ohh, thank you for my beautiul earrings, they're perfect. I love you.