words in movies
Chandler: What if they're not? What if it's adopted by a king?
Chandler: Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.
Rachel: Hi! You guys, the car-service just got here. I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby!
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
Rachel: Alright, now I really have to go. Okay. Au revoir! Oh, they're gonna really hate me over there.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, they must have jumped off the table, 'cause now they're gone!
Joey: Oh! They're in the table!
Joey: Yeah, they're stuck inside the table!
[Scene: The gate at the airport. The passengers are standing in line, and they're about to board the plane again.]
Rachel: They're waiting for me, Ross. I can't do this right now, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Mr Zelner: Yeah, they're all he talks about, why?
CHAN: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
Chandler: Um, ok... the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?
Monica: Where is everybody? They're forty-five minutes late!
CHANDLER: The one time they're not home.
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
(Just as they're about to leave, Gunther comes out of the back carrying two garbage bags. Larry sees this and stops him.)
PHOEBE: [singing] Sometimes men love women, sometimes men love men, and then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves. la la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
MONICA: No really, they're OK.
Monica: (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?
RACHEL: Oh they're in the top drawer. Hurry.
Chandler: They're not even paying ya! This doesn't even sound like a real movie!
Monica: Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies.
Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?
Chandler: They're still just friends, right?
Charlie: Right and then everybody finds out and they're like: "Oh, I knew all along"
Ross: Great, actually. I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night. Yeah, I mean ah, the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep, I'm thinking Amanda and I break open a bottle of wine, and do a little "playing" ourselves.
Chandler: (peeping) They're out there!
Phoebe: Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them.
Chandler: Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they?
JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at some photos and they're sitting next to the window.]
Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie)
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, they're all sitting around and talking.]
RACHEL: Hi. Well hey, you don't - you don't think they're kind of cool?
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
JOEY: Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying "let's go here, let's go there". Like we can afford to go here and there.
Monica: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.'
JOEY: Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment.
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck as The King's (Elvis Presley to the yougin's) Viva, Las Vegas begins to play. Sing along with me now, "Viva! Las Vegas! Vivaaaaaa! Vivaaaaa! Las Vegassssss!!" Fade to Black.)
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.
RACHEL: Oh, well, you know, they're just separated so, you know, never know, we'll see.
Rachel: Oh, they're firemen guys.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, they're all hanging out in the living room.]
MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk.
[Since they're alone they start kissing and Ross's hands work their way down until they're on Rachel's butt. Rachel starts laughing.]
Phoebe: Uh huh. But they're not your friends anymore.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still in their chairs watching TV. Chandler is ordering a pizza.]
Ross: I- I think they're great! I, I really do.
MONICA: It's not gonna happen. They're doing it tonight, we can do it tomorrow.
CHANDLER: Ya know Phoebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time.
Rachel: Okay, they are. (No they're not.)
INTERVIEWER: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
Rachel: Oh please, they're having sex.
Phoebe: Okay, I wanna be sexy again so I'm trying to catch a cold. It should be easy, supposedly they're pretty common.
[Scene: The ride along, they're all waiting outside of the witness's house and still in the car in the same places as before.]
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Chandler: (speaking as in pain) They're never coming down now.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Chandler: No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite.
RACH: Joey, honey, they don't know what they're talking about.
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
Roger: Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love.
Chandler: Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot.
RTST: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
Joey: Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! (They have two of the cops on the street, then they cut to where they're entering an apartment.) Oh my God.
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work, and without picking up the phone leans down to it.) (Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
Joey: You mean how they're friends and nothing more? (Glares at Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Rachel: They're male nurses.
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
Chandler: See? They're Joey's! J-J-J-J-J-Joey's!
RICHARD: Uh, they're not in it.
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Joey: Yeah, they're mine.
Ross: Well, they're not mine!
Phoebe: My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!
LITTLE BULLY: And look where they're sitting.
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
RACHEL: Ok, let me take these cakes back 'cause they're gonna take that out of my paycheck.
Monica: They're still in my coat.
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
Phoebe: (Phoebe hangs up and someone knocks on the door. She gasps.) They're here already? How are they doing this?
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
Kathy: Okay, I've got some ugly friends, and they're all available too.
Joey: They're gonna do it together.
Chandler: Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's!
Chandler: Yeah umm, they're called wallets.
JOEY: I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets!
(Chandler enters and sees what they're watching, panics, and runs to turn off the TV.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. The table is set, and there's food on the tables again. They're all there, toasting.]
[Scene: We're back to the present. Chandler and Monica's. They're all still at the kitchen table.]
Ross: Oh, I hope they're not ruined.
Rachel: Because they're people.
Rachel: Yes, but still. They're people with eyes.
PHOEBE: Oh yes. Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip.
PRODUCER:They're your backup singers... beind you.
[They leave. As they're walking out, the bullies are walking in.]
RICHARD: Hey. They're just trying to decide somehting.
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
[Joey just laughs as a third set of flashbacks featuring Chandlers mistakes starts. The first flashback is from The One With The Prom Video. It's Chandler telling Phoebe how much he hates the bracelet Joey bought him. They're both at Central Perk.]
Monica: No really, they're OK.
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're still arguing about what to name the baby.]