words in movies
Rachel: (to the gang) Oh my God, Melissa Warburton. I dont think I have the energy for this.
Melissa: I-Ive got to go. This has been so great Ray-ray! (Gunther returns with her cigarettes.) Oh, there you are. (Takes them from Gunther.) (To Rachel) Umm, so listen, just call me. Heres my card. (Hands the card over.)
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Chandler: This is so sad. I mean, I only have like ten pins.
Monica: Okay, I think thats it. The seating chart is done. This is our wedding. They all look like theyre having fun dont they?
Monica: Oh! (Gets up) Lets see, well if this is the wedding hall then umm (Walks away) youre parents will be at home in Queens.
Chandler: Well this is just sad!
Rachel: Umm, well lets see uh, this one is Tom Brokaw.
Rachel: (reading a tag) This one is uh Paul ONeil.
Rachel: He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background. (Chandler nods and Rachel grabs another tux) Ooh, this one was Pierce Brosnan!
Chandler: 007?! This is James Bonds tux?!
Chandler: Oh, its not just that, I would be Englands most powerful weapon. Jet setting heartbreaker on her majestys secret service. A man who fears no one; with a license to kill. (Worried.) Would Monica let me wear this?
Rachel: Huh. Does Monica know about this?
Phoebe: What is this? Whats going on?
Rachel: Hey, come on! I had this friend from college and I made the stupid mistake of telling Joey that one time she and I yknow kissed a little bit.
Joey: Why are you taking this away from me?
Rachel: Im not saying that Im a lesbian! Im just saying that this happened!
Rachel: All right, yknow what? If you dont want to believe me about this, why dont you just come with me to dinner tonight and she will tell you.
Ross: Well, you need something to make this day special? Hello! You-you-you have the most special thing of all! You are marrying the woman you love.
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Joey: Okay. Okay, I totally hear ya. Oo how about this? I vamp a little til they get there?
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
Chandler: (trying on the jacket) Okay. Holy double-vented comfort Batman! (Finds something in the pocket) Whats this?
Chandler: An invitation for the At First Sight premiere? Oh my God! Val Kilmer didnt wear this in Batman! He wore it to the premiere of some tooty-fruity love story where he played a blind guy!
Joey: Okay. I will. Ohh! Check out what they got me to wear for the ceremony! (Runs to his apartment and returns wearing a rather silly hat.) Huh? I wear it like this when I marry you guys, and then this (He tilts it to the side of his head) is for party time.
Rachel: What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! (She does so.) Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and Im not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you dont remember that, maybe you will remember this! (She grabs Melissa and kisses her on the lips.)
Donny: Uh, Gene, you're gonna have a chance to go to the winner circle in the second half. But right now Henrietta you are going to the winner circle to try your luck for ten thousand dollars, right after this, don't go away.
Monica: It's weird, but you know what I don't wanna throw this away. I mean this is like all I have left of him, gross, drain hair. Ooh! (drops it in Ross's cereal)
The Director: Hey Joey, were ready for ya! (Joey stumbles over) Joey, this is Alex hes going to be playing your son.
Ross: Well, Rachel moving to another country? Not being able to see her every day. How can I be okay with this?
Rachel: Dr. Long, Ive been at this for seventeen hours! Three women have come and gone with their babies, you gotta give me some good news! How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
Rachel: Ok, ok, ok. I promise, I promise, I promise, I won’t do it again. I really do. I promise. This is gonna be great.
Ross: Do they wait for me to do this?
Chandler: (To Joey) You knew about this?
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
Monica: Hey guys this stuff is just so way in the past. You-youve been through so much since then. And right now youve got so much more important stuff going on in your life. Cant you just let this go?
ROSS: Fine, OK! Heat, heat, heat, and I'm the obsessive one. [goes to the radiator and starts turning the knob] OK, this way is on, so this is. . . [breaks off the knob] off.
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, this is so stupid! I mean, I gave Barry up, right? I should be happy for them! I am, I'm happy for them.
Phoebe: Okay. Good-bye, little monkey guy. Alright, I wrote you this poem. Okay, but don't eat it 'till you get on the plane.
Phoebe: No. (Monica brushes Coma Guy's hair in the other direction) No! No! ...So, um, do you think he's doing any better than he was this morning?
Ross: Anyway it-it kinda-it all boils down to this, the last time I talked to Emily
Mr. Douglas: Its pretty ugly. We havent seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies.
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
MONICA: Ok, here, watch this.
JOEY: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
Joey: Okay. Yeah. (She leaves and he goes to pick up a box marked books, but decides to take the box marked pillows instead.) Yeah, Ill grab this one. (He follows her upstairs.)
Monica: I can't believe he did this.
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Phoebe: Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
Rachel: Oh no Ross! This is not good, we have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. (He sits) You have got to get over this Joey thing, okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay?
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Chandler: (to Gunther) Y'know what Gunther, go ah, go ahead, Im-Im talking to ah, (tries to get her to say her name). (to her) This is the part where you say your name.
Chandler: We talked 'til like two. It was this perfect evening... more or less.
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Monica: Yeah, yknow, but something like salmon which would be so much more elegant than the chicken. And, you wouldnt have to worry about the salmonella. (Ross pushes her.) So, I cant wait to see this place youre getting married!
Ross: (holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one?
Phoebe: Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at the restaurant (she dons a top hat) uh, huh wait! (she raises a pair of spectacles to her eyes) Right? I mean, this might even class up the ballad of the uncircumcised man.
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Phoebe: Yeah, I should probably take it back. Ooh, but you know what? While I'm at the police station, I could check their Ten Most Wanted lists because my friend Fritzy has been like number 11 forever, so this could be her year! (She crosses her fingers in hope.)
Monica: Oh, really? So why was I busting my ass to make this delicious Thanksgiving dinner?
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
David: Oh, I hate this but I-I-I have to go. I-I cant miss my flight.
Monica: Whose little ball of paper is this?!
Dick Clark: (on TV) Hi, this is Dick Clark, live in Times Square. We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square...
PHOEBE: It's a Wonderful Life. Yes I've heard of this.
Mr. Tribbiani: Yeah, but this is
Mrs. Geller: (To Chandler) Youve done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
Ross: Rach, come on, I’m not gonna wear any of this! (he picks up a shirt) Nothing silver. (Rachel sighs). Ok? Nothing with hair! (Rachel sighs again) And nothing with padlocks on it! (Rachel heaves a long disappointing sigh).
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
Monica: And the musicians, look, they can go over here (Points to a little alcove), okay? And the chairs can face this way (Points), and (Points to Ross) You go.
Judge: Is there, anything in this record that is actually true?
Rachel: Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross begging symbols, please show of hands. (Ross raises his hand and no one else.)
Rachel: I could not have done this without you.
Dr. Green: Well why not? So you can spend your time with this tramp?!
Rachel: No. No, no, I'm not ready! How can I be ready? "Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute?" Come on, I can't do this!
RACHEL: God, oh God Monica, I forgot. This is our first date.
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Monica: You can not do this.
RACHEL: I can't believe this is happening.
Joey: No! No! No! You guys were totally right! This is so much better than the first time we went out. Yknow? That was so awkward, we were really nervous.
Ross: (He knocks at the door, Mike opens it) Hey Mike sorry to just drop by like this, can I come in?
Phoebe: Well, I dont think Monica is gonna take this away.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is coming out of the bathroom after a shower wearing only her bath robe, walks into the kitchen, and opens the fridge. As she bends over to grab a bottle of wine, her robe falls open (Damn this network primetime programming, we didn't see anything!) and she quickly closes it again. But then realizes she didn't have to do that. So she closes the fridge and stands next to the table, thinks about it for a little while and ]
RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
RACHEL: Ok, ok, so you're not a fan, but I mean, come on, you cannot do this to her.
Rachel: Okay, honey, what he means by that, is ...while this is a very nice gift, maybe it's just not something a boyfriend gives?
Monica: Thank you. Come meet my friends. This is uh, Phoebe.
ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
Ross: God, I don't believe this. She could be giving birth in the cab.
Rachel: Yes okay. (Checking the speed dial again.) Well now see this isnt telling us anything. (Reading the speed dial) Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! T hats a steak house!
Joey: (sees Kate) Oh-oh, hey-hey, Kate! Listen I want you to meet everybody. Everybody, this is Kate.
Rachel: Okay... Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree and Evelyn?
PHOEBE: Can you believe this. In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. Eeeshk.
Chandler: And those guys were this (Doing the standard "This Close" gesture) close to lettin us play this time too.
Rachel: I think you should definitely go out with this guy.
Chandler: We were wondering what was taking so long with the gift, but now we understand you were doing this.
Rachel: I know! It's like I'm being punished for not having this disgusting, poisoning habit!
Chandler: (to him) Hi! Hi. Okay, there was a slight mix-up at the jewelry store, the ring youre about to propose with was supposed to be held for me. So, Im gonna need to have that back. (The guy isnt sure.) But, in exchange Im willing to trade you this beautiful, more expensive ring. (Looking at the ring.) Ew.
EDDIE: [annoying laugh] Is this guy great or what?
Rachel: Well, I-I-I don't know how this fits into your whole "seizing" thing but um, Emily called you today.
Joey: You're not going to believe this!
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
Chandler: She gets crazy! This scar (points to his forehead) is from Pictionary!
Chandler: No! Ok, this is not good. You are a guy. Ok? This is a guys place. If you let this go, youre going to be sitting around with your fingers soaking in stuff.
Emily: No, no, no Ross! Ross, these are friends of mine from home. (Introducing them) Liam, Devon, this is Ross.
JOEY: Well, well that one has ducks on his t-shirt, and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks.
Monica: I know... it's just... I thought this was, you know... it.
Rachel: No, no-no-no. Phoebe, this was my fault and besides yknow what? Im fine here.
Phoebe: How's this? (presses down hard)
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, well your friends are in violation of it. Ive been a nice guy up until now, but uh, I dont need this grief. Im gonna call the landlord and tell him that Monica is illegally subletting here grandmothers apartment. Your friends are outta here pal.
Ross: This is great. Rachel's gonna keep kissing guys until she finds the one she wants and I'm gonna die alone.
Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! Im-Im playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!
Ross: Uh, so this play umm, what do you think? Its-its gotten great reviews! Yknow the uh
Ross: (looking at the remote) How did he do this?
Chandler: So what does this mean?
Phoebe: Youre thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. Its like, its like ripping off this Band-Aid. (On her arm) Quick and painless, watch. (Rips it off.) Oh mother of See?
Rachel: Okay, Im just gonna write this out to cash.
Ross: Well, but aren't you pissed at him?! I mean this guy abandoned you! I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger! (Getting worked up) I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, "Yo, dad! You and me outside right now!" (Calming down.) I kinda scared myself.
Phoebe: Well okay, let this be a lesson to all of you, all right. Once you, once you betray me, I become like the ice woman, yknow. Very cold, hard, unyielding, y'know nothing, nothing can penetrate this icy exterior. (to Monica) Can I have a tissue, please?
The Fireman: Please reattach this, its against the law to disconnect them.
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Monica: I have no moves. (He moves in to kiss her and she laughs and backs away.) Okay, whatcha doin there?! (Giggles.) Oh yknow what? Im sorry, this is just too weird.