words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
(He turns to face Rachel on one knee with the box open.)
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
Ross: Hey Joey. (To Rachel) Hey you.
Ross: Youre weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.
Rachel: Uh yeah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Mr. Geller: She went to pick up Aunt Liddy.
Mr. Geller: So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this? (Pulls a bouquet of flowers out of his sleeve.)
Ross: Uh Dad, Emmas in the nursery. Ill take you now. If you want, but (To Rachel) I really want to talk to you.
Rachel: I know, I still need to talk to you.
Joey: Oh hey but, before you guys do that (To Rachel) I need to talk to you, and Ross, I need to talk to you.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh and I need to talk to you.
Phoebe: To see if know what these guys are talking about.
Mr. Geller: Well of course Ben, I meant my first granddaughter. (To Monica, mouths) Wow.
Ross: Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room.
Phoebe: Oh sure okay, you can touch yourself in front of us but you cant talk to Rachel.
Joey: (taking Chandler aside) Hey Chandler, can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: No! No, that was Jack! Rachel thinks I asked her to marry me!
Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
Chandler: And you did it first?! This is gonna kill him! You know how much he loves to propose!
Joey: Oh God, what the hell am I going to tell him?
Chandler: Well maybe you dont have to tell him anything.
Chandler: If you clear things up with Rachel then Ross never needs to find out, but you have to do it now before he hears about it and kicks your ass!
Chandler: Honey, weve been over this. I need to be facing the other way.
Ross: I wanna go talk to Rachel for a minute, are you gonna be okay alone for a bit?
Ross: (noticing something) Actually umm (He turns Mr. Gellers head to look at Emma.)
Phoebe: Are you kidding? Im like the one who talked him into it. I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group.
Phoebe: I just talked him into it, dont tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people.
Phoebe: Why?! You two are so meant to be together, everybody thinks so.
Joey: (entering) Oh uh, hey Pheebs. Uh yknow what? Ill-Ill come back later. (He goes to leave but runs into Ross whos entering.)
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
Ross: Yknow what? I dont like you without mom. (To Joey) Come on. (Walks away.)
Joey: (To Ross) Were not peeking? (Follows him.)
Joey: Hey uh, is it okay to come in?
Nurse: Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again?
Nurse: Its all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it, but dont worry. Itll happen.
Nurse: Why dont we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.)
Joey: (To God) Are you kidding me?!
[Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.]
Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.
Phoebe: Are you lying? Is this like that time you tried to convince us that you were a doctor?
Ross: (pause) I am a doctor! Yknow what? Im just gonna go and talk to Rachel myself.
Phoebe: And so engaged. (Points to the ring that Rachel is wearing.)
Ross: What? (Motions for Phoebe to go outside with him.) Oh my God! She-she thinks were engaged! Why? Why? Why would she think were engaged?!
Phoebe: Perhaps because you gave her an engagement ring? Yknow Ross doctors are supposed to be smart.
Phoebe: But you didnt give it to her?
Phoebe: But you were going to propose?
Ross: Look. Look, my mom gave me that ring because she wanted me to propose to Rachel, but all I wanted to do is if she maybe kinda wanted ah start things up again.
Ross: Look, I didnt want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didnt want to either. But I dont, I dont understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people?
Phoebe: No! No, she said you actually proposed to her.
[Scene: The Janitors Closet, Chandler and Monica are trying to figure out what to do now.]
Monica: Oh, I still cant believe my dad saw us having sex! He didnt make it to one of piano recitals, but this he sees!
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
Chandler: I just want you to know that what you witnessed in there, that wasnt for fun.
Chandler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would youWh-why (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just dont want you to think that were animals who do it whenever we want.
Monica: Yeah, were trying to get pregnant.
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Monica: Daddy! I dont think we need to hear about the specific positions you and mom had sex.
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
Rachel: Hey. I need to tell you something.
Monica: Well, nows a good time. Im on my way to have my ears cut off.
Rachel: Joey proposed to me.
Rachel: Why not? I dont want to do this alone! And hes such a sweet guy and he loves me so much.
Monica: Honey, the question is do you really want to marry Joey?
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.
Joey: Youre right. Youre right. I-Ill go tell her now before Ross finds out and Ill be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there (Points to the closet Chandler and Monica were in) if you want to check that out.
Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um I didnt propose to you.
Rachel: You didnt propose to me. Joey did.
Ross: Poor baby, youre so tired. Rach, I didnt propose to you, Joey didnt propose to you, and Chandler didnt propose to you.
Rachel: Uh You didnt propose to me, Chandler didnt propose to me, but Joey did.
Ross: Joey proposed to you?
Ross: Hey, wait! Wait-wait-wait! Joey, did you propose to her?
Joey: No! No, and I did not ask her to marry me!
Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.
Joey: (To Ross) Ill tell you about it later. Be cool.
Joey: It wasnt my ring! Its Rosss ring! Thats why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose.
Rachel: You were gonna propose to me?
Ross: But I-I was going to see if yknow, maybe you uh, start dating again but thatI mean that-that was all, Rach.
Ross: (To Joey) I cant believe you told her I was going to propose!
Joey: I cant believe youre not going to propose!
Ross: Hey, Im not going to rush into anything!
Joey: Oh yeah, dude, I totally understand. Usually after I have a baby with a woman I like to slow things down!
Joey: No, Rach, I shouldve told you sooner. Its just that Man! That kid is going to town! (Joey makes his awkward exit.)
[Scene: Outside the Janitors Closet, there are people having sex and Mr. Geller is trying to give them some pamphlets.]
Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)
Mr. Geller: (pause) Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back? (They do so.) Thank you.
Rachel: Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually (starting to cry), but now she's actually stealing you.
Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. Why won't you go to sleep? Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. You're, you're, you're keeping me uppp! (Yeah, that's to the tune of Smelly Cat.)
Joey: Good. (He sets his stuff down and starts talking to Kate, another cast member.) Hey.
Chandler: (to the girls) We were playing poker, alright...
Joey: Oh, uh... don't forget your coupon. (Tries to strike a sexy pose up against the doorway to his room. Then goes inside).
Ross: So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh is he a good guy?
Ross: Im sorry, I dont believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other.
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
(Joey leaves to get the copy of the key.)
Mrs. Tedlock: Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to stop by his office at the end of the day.
Chandler: You have to really wanna see it.
Monica: So, you're ready to do this?
Chandler: Or a job where you dont have to carry a table.
Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them)
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Phoebe: Hey Joey, yknow what? You are way to good for her.
Rachel: Huh. Well, y'know thats actually a really good idea, because that way theyll be closer to the mugs. Y'know what, you should have the other waitresses do that too.
Ross: She wants me to move to London.
Monica: We're moving in a couple of days and we've got a lot of packing to do. It would be great if you guys could pitch in.
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
Chandler: No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, (Reading the label) Mommas Little Bakery. (Pause) I feel terrible, Im a horrible, horrible, horrible person.
Ross: Ohh! Thank you! I like mail. (He goes to kiss her again, but she turns away.)
MONICA: Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.
Monica: Okay, all right dont judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so amazing....
[cut to the girls huddle.]
Ross: (laughing) Ohh. (Phoebe takes a couple of steps to the door and Ross quickly hurries out.)
Phoebe: Oh can I? Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone. It's really not fair either! You know, just because we don't eat the meat doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcasses!
Joey: Why not?! (to Chandler) Im hungry.
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Chandler: No, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry is pretty much fourth y'know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. (Laughs.) Will you be my wife?
Chandler: To pay for the gym.
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section!
(They both go over to light the candles.)
Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Ross is explaining to the gang what happened with his mother.]
Rachel: Oh-oh, sorry, its this way, its this way. (Motions to the correct way.)
Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
Rachel: Okay. (Starts to go.) God yknow, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbianis apartment
(Chandler and Joey look at her, and then look back at him. They dive for Ross's hand to see what he had, and he tries to stop them from looking.)
Phoebe: Great. (Goes to take the test.)
Monica: Listen, uh, you told me something that was really difficult for you. And I, I-I figured if you could be honest, then I can to.
Chandler: That's good one too, Pheebs. Now all you have to do is find a planeload of people who's resolution is to plummet to their deaths.
Ross: (to the girls) Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl’s breast?
Chandler: (to Ross) All right listen, I have to go to the bathroom, but if the place with the big fish comes up again. Id like know whether thats several big fish or just one big fish.
Fat Monica: Ross! (Wanting to be introduced.)
[Scene: Silvercup studios, Joey is taking a shower in Charlton Hestons dressing room. Heston enters the room, Joey panics, and walks over to the shower and confronts Joey about the use of his shower.]
Rachel: "Indeed there isn't"... I should really get back to work.
Cassie: Ill always remember that summer, because its when I got all of these freckles. (She pulls her blouse open to show him her shoulder and bra strap.)
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Can you hear anything?
Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)
[Cut to the living room.]
Monica: With a wok? (Chandlers holding a wok.) I thought you were going to read my boring book to put you asleep.
Monica: Doesn't matter, I'll get 'em tomorrow. Or not. Whenever. (He goes to her room.)
Rachel: Oh yeah! (Turns to face him.)
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Joey: Oh... yeah... Probably you don't even remember my name. It's Joey, by the way. And don't bother telling me yours, because I totally remember it... lady. Yeah! I waited weeks for you to call me.
Lizzie: No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.
Chandler: (turning to face her) Yeah.
Monica: Sure, I love this part! (Starts to look busy.)
Rachel: (shocked) They had to have that specially made?!
Rachel: Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about.
Monica: Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller.
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
(They run to the ticket counter, but they get stuck behind a group of old people who are walking very slowly.)
Ross: Nothing. Oh, actually, great news! I just got off the phone with Emily and it looks like I'm moving to a new apartment. Woo-hoo!
PHOEBE: Oh, no no, that side doesn't have one, the paramedics had to cut through it. [Chandler jumps out of the car]
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Ross: Yes, we have to tell her!
Monica: Nooo! No, thats not true. No, best time ever! Yeah, you rocked me world! (She turns out the light to go back to sleep.)
Ross starts talking over her 'do you remember' line: Amy. I'm going to save you some time, ok. <spins finger around in circle> All me.
Joey: Who cares? You're Rachel! (To Chandler) Who's Kip?
Rachel: So what are you guys going to do?
Chandler: If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?
Chandler: Im only going to pretend Im moving to Yemen, its the only way I can get rid off her.
Ross: I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision? (They're all quiet.) I'm actually asking you!
Chandler: Yknow what? Its gonna be okay. Yknow what? Shes probably not gonna even want to come.
[Scene: The park, the gang is returning to play the second half of the game.]
Rachel: Well, she told me too! (Points to Monica and Joey glares at her.)
Ross: Well, as much as Id like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I arent going to be here. All right? I mean, shes going to come by first to say good-bye, and then Ive got a whole special evening planned. So Im sorry, no party.
[Cut to a shot of a park.]
Rachel: Yeah, it's in there. (Points to the bathroom.)
Rachel: Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you "momma's boy", starting right now.
[cut to Rachel and Monica at the counter.]
Monica: (To Chandler) Rachel's at work.
Monica: (to the clerk) Ooh, an ink stain! Hey, can I watch how you get this out?
JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.
(Phoebe snaps the ball to Monica, who pitches back to Rachel.)
FBOB: Well, I would make them Belgian, but the waffles are hard to get into that flask.
Kathy: The Velveteen Rabbit. I kinda have the feeling you had something to do with it.
Chandler: No, I prefer to keep a safe distance from all this merriment.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Rosss apartment. We see that Rosss apartment is empty.]
ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.
The Interviewer: So, lets talk about women. Im sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
Monica: I think it's totally insane, I mean, they work for the hospital. It's like returning to the scene of the crime. You know, I say we blow off the dates.
MIKE: Yeah.� (pause)� Yeah, I'm sorry.� I don't . . . I don't really like to talk about it.
Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.
Monica: OK, we done with the chit-chat? Are we ready to play some serious poker?
Chandler: So I really never get to win anymore?