words in movies
Rachel: HEY!! Do you have to do that? Its Saturday!
Monica: Yknow what? I am really tired of your bellyaching! Okay, I-I worked really hard at making this a nice place for us to live!
Emily: I wish I didnt have to go.
Ross: Then dont. Stay here. Just dont go so soon to London, just one more day.
Emily: Dont do this to me, again. Youd know Id stay here in a minute, but Id really miss so much work, theyll fire me.
Emily: I dont think you understand packing. Look, I just dont want to leave it to the last minute. Last time I left in such a rush, I left my knickers here.
Ross: No. No, I didnt. I didnt want to be that guy.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah! You like em? I just, I went to a used clothes store and got a bunch of maternity stuff. These are sooo comfortable!
Monica: Hey, guys, what-what should I wear to a Knicks game?
Rachel: Yeah, my mom got my dads season tickets in the divorce, so she just gave them to me.
Chandler: No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is whining to Chandler about the tickets.]
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
Ross: Oh yeah, Emily convinced me to do it.
Ross: Ugh, shes saying good-bye to her uncle.
Chandler: So what are you going to do?
Ross: Nothing! Theres nothing to do! I mean, she lives there, I live here. I mean, she-shed have to uh, move here. She should move here!
Ross: I could ask her to live with me!
Chandler: And I love the milk! But, Im not gonna some British girl to move in with me! (Realizes that made no sense.) Joey, you say things now.
Ross: I dont want to do that.
Joey: No! You dont want to wreck it, you dont want to go to fast!
Ross: Yeah, no, youre right, I know, youre right, Im not, Im not gonna do it. All right, thanks guys. (Gets up to leave.)
Chandler: Okay, no problem, just remember to wake us up before you go-go.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same day. Joey and Chandler are eating pizza, and Phoebe is trying to knit something.]
Rachel: Or Ill give them to my new boyfriend, Joshua.
Joey: Wait-wait-wait-wait! (To Chandler) Come on! Come on, lets trade! The timings perfect, I just clogged the toilet!
Joey: Yes! Didnt you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didnt read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!
Phoebe: Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet?
(He looks to Chandler, who doesnt have a clue.)
(They all look to Phoebe to settle this.)
Joey: Seriously, good game though. Good game. (He tries to congratulate them, but they pull away.) (To Chandler) What are they so mad about? They get the apartment back!
Emily: Yeah, but it-it-its my whole lifeyou come to England.
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?
Emily: My parents are going to be really mad.
(He tries to put it on her finger.)
Ross: Damn! I thought that was going to be romantic as hell!
Joey: Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Yknow, kinda like a peace offering.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
(They both sprint to what used to be their apartment.)
(Its Rachels turn to open the door.)
Phoebe: (opening the door) I had nothing to do with it. (Closes the door.) (Opens the door.) Okay, it was my idea, but I dont feel good about it.
(She goes to close the door, but Chandler puts his foot it in.)
Chandler: Well, youre gonna have to leave sometime, because you both have jobs, and as soon as you do, were switching it back! Theres nothing you can do to stop us! Right, Joe?
Joey: I dont want to move again!
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, no more offers. You cant offer anything to us!
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
[Cut to the girls apartment.]
Phoebe: Thats so funny to think if youd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
Joey: Ross has some big thing to tell everyone.
Ross: Uhh, okay, its uh, Emily and I, we decided to uh, to get married.
Ross: We, we just decided to uh, to go for it.
(Seeing Rachels apparently okay with this, the rest of the gang jumps up to congratulate Ross and Emily on their pending nuptials.)
Monica: (to Ross) I cant believe youre getting married!
Lorraine: You know, ever since I was little, I've been able to pick up quarters with my toes.
Monica: Yknow, I only know of two surefire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is sex.
Rachel: Yeah, seriously coz this is really heavy. (She suddenly lets go) I mean not for me because i'm only pretending to hold this, but for these guys.
Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) Im gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) Ill meet you at the front door. Just tell them youre going home, okay?
Joey: (muffled) Oh, they gave it to me at the sleep clinic, and its gonna help me not to snore.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the whole gang is there, except for Ross and Rachel. Joey is trying to eat Chinese with chopsticks and fails miserably. Theres a knock on the door, and Chandler answers it to reveal Rachel]
Katie: Listen, to be honest, home deliveries are really a part of my job description.
Phoebe: All right, well I just wanted to say thank you though for diverting Kyles ex.
Chandler: Well, I told you not to walk. Here. (Picks her up.) There. Okay. (He opens the door, carries her across the threshold, stops, backs out, and lets go of Monica who is only holding on by his neck.)
Chandler: Anyway, I should go, one of the lifeguards was just about to dismantle a nuclear device.
Phoebe: uh huh (terns to Ross) how do I look (all her make up has gone everywhere)
Ross: Well, well to sum up, were having fun, you look young.
(Joey hugs Rosss neck and has a look of complete contentment on his face which, after a short while, causes David and Matt to start laughing.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is handing out copies of her book to the gang.]
Joey: Girls say it to me all the time! And believe me, if shes anything like me, shes just gonna be relieved.
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
JOEY: Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you.
Ross: What? What?! You were begging me to kiss you! You-you-you were sending me signals all over the place!
Chandler: What do you think shes just gonna sit there quietly? You dont think shes gonna want to make a toast? You dont think shes gonna want to grab the microphone and sing Part-time Lover?!
Rachel: What? This-this, no, oh no, no-no-no, this is notthats-thats not what it is. See, see, okay, I work in fashion, see and-and, this is a real dress actually. Its-its, theyre-theyre wearing it in Milan, so part of my job is too wear the clothes, and then I see how people respond, and then I report back to my superiors at Bloomingdales, so And obviously in uh, in-in this case, (She grabs a pen and paper) I am going to report back, "USA not ready."
Rachel: Pheebs, I dont know what to say. I guess the flea market was just better last time.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
(Chandler acts disgusted, but is happy that Joey has stopped snoring. However, just as he is about to leave, Joey starts snoring again. So to get him to stop, he slams the door shut, waking Joey.)
[Scene: Monicas new kitchen, Allesandro is introducing her to her new employees.]
[Scene: London Marriott, Monica and Chandler are walking to her room.]
Phoebe: I just went to my old apartment to get you the-the cookie recipe and the stupid fire burned it up!
Rachel: Okay. (After Paul leaves Rachel drops to the floor to confront Ross.) What?! What are you doing here?!
Chandler: Yeah, I thought so to until I paper mached one of my eyes shut.
PHOEBE: Yeah. I guess she hasn't seen everything yet. I'll be right back, she has to go to the bathroom again. [Takes Mrs. Green's chin in her hand and says, in Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh, such a pretty face.
Ross: Nope. I mean, I know Susan does every year, but I think I wanna take this year to teach him all about Hanukkah.
Monica:: Joey I am not going to objectify woman with you (looks at the woman) but if her face is as nice as her ass woah mamma.
Phoebe: I-I wanted to apologise if Iyknow seemed a tad edgy yesterday at my shower. Yknow its just the hormones, yknow.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see now the one with the feather boa? Thats Dr. Francis. She used to be a man. Oh look! There(Marcel (Katie) jumps away)Okay. (And runs behind her on the back of the couch for a little while.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? (shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
[Scene: Richards bedroom, Monica has covered it in rose pedals and candles. We hear Richard come in to the apartment, and Monica frantically throws the rest of the pedals on the bed, and jumps onto the bed and puts a rose in her mouth, and bites a thorn.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the bad desert Ross is quickly eating the mound on his plate.]
Rachel: My gynecologist tried to kill me.
Joey: Look-look-look you guys, I need some help! Okay? Someone is going to have to convince my hand twin to cooperate!
Janice: I know! I know! And then you lose your apartment! And then you lose your job! And then your ex-wife gets married so fast! And now the coffeeahh!! Ross, we need to talk.
(Monica grabs the hammer and the crowbar and gets ready to bust it open.)
(He removes the coat to reveal an elf costume)
Sebastian: Actually, I uh, I gotta get going. (To Rachel) Give me a call sometime.
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
Mike: and you don't have to worry about glue sniffing with me. although I do smell the occasional magic marker, yeah ah anyway I just think I can make you happy.
Rachel: Im serious, I really, I think I need just to have some...meaningless, sex y'know, with the next guy that I see.
[Sequence 5: Monica hands the ball off to Phoebe, who runs up field and delivers a fore-arm shiver to Chandler, knocking him over and scores the touchdown, and she yells...]
Joey: Uh, yknow, starve a fever, go to a play for a cold.
Rachel: (returning) Okay, remember uh, remember how you told me that your grandmother put up that wall to make that into two bedrooms?
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, he is sleeping with Marjorie. All of the sudden, Marjorie starts talking in her sleep, awakening Chandler. After a little bit, she quiets back down, and Chandler tries to get back to sleep. Theres a short pause until she starts screaming, causing Chandler to scream with her. She quickly calms down. This all wakes up Joey, who comes over wearing the mouth guard, opens the top half of Chandlers door, and starts to complain about the noise.]
Ross: Then, uh, then we got dressed, and I-I... I walked her to the- (looks up, realises, and points) -the bus stop... I'm fine.
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Mr. Heckles: C'mere, Patti. (Turns to Mr. Heckles)
MONICA: Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.
[Cut to the elevator lobby, Phoebe walks up and sees a man in a wheelchair with his broken leg extended.]
Phoebe: You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that after I've buzzed you into the building.
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
Phoebe: (singing) Platting goats are platting. Platting down the street. Platting goats are platting, leaving little treats. (to Gunther) Does it even work without my sexy voice?
Ross: The Divorcer, to the rescue!
Phoebe: (Excited, running back to her seat) Oh!
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
Janice: Oh, I cannot believe hes using our divorce to sell mattresses.
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
-Cuts to Monica (She's just arrived outside his room she fixes a bent photo hanging on the wall then sprays mint in her mouth and enter)
Ross: (To Monica) Stop saying, "Blood" to strangers.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
[Cut to the waiting room, a thrice triumphant Frank returns again.]
Monica: Oh, no thanks, we're just here to observe.
(Rachel lets her anger show too. Hideously embarrassed, the doctors drain their glasses in the vicious pause which follows. The telephone rings, but the girls just glower at each other, silently daring the other to move first. Finally both guys jump up, and Michael wins.)
Phoebe: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this again!'
Ross: (breaking the hug) Ohh, I gotta go to the flower store! (Runs to the door.) Check it out, no one will tell me where Emily is, so I'm gonna send 72 long-stem, red roses to Emily's parent's house, one for each day that I've known and loved her. That oughta get her talking to me again.
Charlie: It's just that... I don't understand it... I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she comes here to buy a dress to impress another guy...?
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey has won the part of dying man and is now able to play the role he was injured for. Chandler is helping to carry him in.]
(Rachel decides not to confront them and starts to walk out, knocking over a lamp in the process.)
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Oh my God! We have to throw her a shower?!
Mr. Geller: So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this? (Pulls a bouquet of flowers out of his sleeve.)
[Scene: Mike's parents building. Phoebe gets out of the classy elevator, looking all dressed up like an older woman, and very un-Phoebe. She walks to the door and rings the doorbell.]
Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
(Cut to the hall. Owen is wearing his scout-uniform and is looking through a box when Chandler walks up to him.)
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
ROSS: I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare.
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Ross: (enters) Wow, couples who live together do start to look alike. So, Mondler...uh, what uh, what cha doin?
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Joey: (To Monica) Okay! Look-look-look, uh, if youre gonna be moving in with him I feel its my responsibility to tell you the truth about him! Okay? Hes a terrible roommate! Terrible! He uh, forgets to umm Oh-oh he always, he always ummOh, who am I kidding! Hes the best roommate ever! (Hugs Chandler.)
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
PHOEBE: I know, I know. [to Rob] Hello.
Emily: Oh, no-no-no, thats not rude! Its perfectly in keeping with a trip that Ive already been run down by one of your wiener carts, and been strip-searched at John F. Kennedy Airport, apparently to you people, I look like someone whos got a balloon full of cocaine stuffed up their bum.
CHANDLER: [singing to the tune of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood] Who's the bitterest man in the living room, the bitterest man in the living room? Hi, neighbor.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, I've supported you one hundred percent and I want to prove that to you in person!
Joey: The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limesHey, what was in that brown jar?
Rachel: Okay. (She goes over to tell her mother.)
Ross: I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace
CHANDLER: Ya know, my cousin went to hell on a football scholarship.
ROSS: Uh, lunch chef, purchasing, own little desk when Roland's not there. Here's to my little sister--
[Scene: Central Perk, ??????? is playing, as Chandler peaks his head out of the storage closet and sneaks back to his seat and pretends he's reading something. Then a short while later Monica pokes her head out of the closet and sneaks back to her seat and sits down, pretending as if nothing has happened.]
Phoebe: (no accent) Uhm... Okay, well, allright, uhm... Originally I'm from upstate, but uhm... then my mom killed herself and my stepdad went to prison, so... I just moved to the city where uhm... I actually lived in a burned out Buick LeSabre for a while... (frowns are received) which was okay, that was okay, until uhm... I got hepatitis, you know, 'cause this pimp spit in my mouth and... but I... I got over it and uhm... anyway, now I'm uhm... a freelance massage therapist, uhm... which, you know, isn't always steady money but at least I don't pay taxes, huh... (everyone in the room finds it a bit surreal, which Phoebe realises and starts to talk in the accent again) So... where does everyone summer?
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
Roy: All right, somebody show me where to plug in my box, and we'll get this party started! (he thrusts his pelvis towards Phoebe) Whaaaa... (walks back to plug in his cd player) Here? All right.