words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are getting ready for the flight to London and Monica comes running in.]
Monica: Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to get a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!! (She runs back to her apartment.)
Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. Thats a lot of Monica.
[Cut to the girls apartment, Monica is putting things into her purse as Phoebe and Rachel watch.]
Monica: Myself. Yknow for remembering to pack a thing. Yeah, you do a good thing, you get a check! (pause) My mom does it, I never realized it was weird.
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did it the one time. But it was pretty weird.
[Cut to the guys apartment.]
Joey: Yeah, in my third drawer on my dresser. You dont want to lose that.
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
Joey: Ohh!! (Runs to his room.)
Monica: Okay, if you need the vacuum, its in my closet on the left-hand side. Ah, the garbage bags are next to the refrigerator
Ross: (to Rachel) So, were off.
Ross: To London! Come to London. Please? Itll mean so much to me.
Phoebe: Oh, do you need a hug? You dont have to bring me anything!
(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show moves its entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)
Joey: Its London, baby! All right, the hotels here. (Points to the map.) Wait. No, we wanna go No. I know. (Sets the map down.) Im gonna have to go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)
Chandler: Okay. Listen-listen, were not gonna have to walk this way the entire time are we?
[Scene: Another street, somewhere along the River Themes, Ross, Emily, and Monica are walking to where theyre gonna get married. Emily is relating the troubles with the caterer.]
Emily: and that was all before 10 oclock. The caterer rang and said it was going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon. And then the florist phoned to say there arent any tulips. Oh, and the chilliest has carpel-tunel syndrome. Were not gonna be
Monica: Yeah, yknow, but something like salmon which would be so much more elegant than the chicken. And, you wouldnt have to worry about the salmonella. (Ross pushes her.) So, I cant wait to see this place youre getting married!
[Cut to inside.]
Emily: (running in, with Ross) Oh. Oh my God. How can this be happening? What are we going to do?
Monica: (entering) Okay, I talked to the guy with the shovel and I found out what happened.
Joey: Really? To what?
Chandler: To Put the Camera Away!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Come on! I am here to take care of you! What do you need? Anything.
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. I guess we have to eat.
Rachel: Im just bummed about the way I left things with Ross. I shouldnt have lied to him about having to work. He seemed so mad at me.
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
[Scene: A park in London, Joey and Chandler walk up to a souvenir stand.]
Chandler: Well, I dont have to buy that, "Im with stupid" T-shirt anymore.
Chandler: Okay, wait. All right, thats it, okay, Im out of here. I am not going to be embarrassed anymore! (He trips over a box, falls into a flower stand and walks away trying to be cool.)
Ross: Hey! I just spoke to your dad, and you know what? He seems to think well be able to find a new place for the wedding.
Emily: We dont have to.
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
Emily: I realize that people are going to be disappointed. But, Im sure theyll come back when we can do it right.
Ross: I cant ask people to do that? Would you ask people to do that? (Holds out his pants)
Emily: Its not the pants. Its you that is backwards. And if, and if you dont understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldnt get married at all! (She storms out.)
Ross: (chasing her, trying to zip up his pants. His got them on right now.) No, wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please(He catches something important in the zipper and howls like a little boy and falls to the floor.)
Phoebe: Yeah. I just need you to bring me some photos of Ross.
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Phoebe: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, lets try some uh, aversion therapy.
Joey: Sh-shh-shh! (He motions for her to watch something he has taped.)
[Cut to the tape Joey made in front of some famous place in London with a rather famous English-type person.]
Joey: (on tape) Okay, so say hi to my friend and tell him that you like the hat.
Joey: Well, I was trying to figure out how to get to Buckingham Palace, right? So, Im in my map and-and (Ross enters) Hey!
Ross: Am I?! And was it your idea to postpone the wedding?!
Chandler: Im gonna go to the bathroom.
Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)
Ross: Hey-hey, since youre the fix-it lady, heres a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesnt want to have the wedding at all?
Ross: I dont know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
Ross: Come on. You gotta help me figure out what to do. Okay?
Joey: That just cost me four bucks. But uh listen, I just called to see how the chick and the duck are doing?
Phoebe: Yep! Okay, gotta go, talk to you later.
(Phoebe has already hung up, leaving Joey in the dark. So Joey decides to watch some TV and turns on a rerun of Cheers, with the theme song playing. At first, hes happy, but as the song progresses Joey gets depressed and homesick.)
Emily: I tell you, this wedding is not going to happen.
(At that Ross plugs in some Christmas lights to light the place up.)
Monica: And the musicians, look, they can go over here (Points to a little alcove), okay? And the chairs can face this way (Points), and (Points to Ross) You go.
Ross: And, I dont know, if it starts to rain
Rachel: (enters with a bag packed) Because Im going to London.
Phoebe: What?! What do you mean youre going to London?
Rachel: Yeah, I have to tell Ross that I love him. Now honey, you take care, you dont have those babies until I get back. (Kisses her stomach.)
Rachel: Yeah, I know, I know, I know he does. But I have to tell him how I feel! He deserves to have all the information and then he can make an informed decision.
Housekeeper: This is the housekeeper speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses oneself on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.
Phoebe: (In a British accent) This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if its not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?
Housekeeper: Miss Waltham, is at the rehearsal dinner and its not polite to make fun of people. Goodbye.
Housekeeper: Im afraid, Im not at liberty to divulge that information.
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Mr. Waltham: (Shaking everyone's hand.) Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do? Very nice to meet you. (Looking over at his wife.) Darling its the Gellers. (She pays no attention shes talking on a cellular phone.) (Louder) Darling, its the Gellers. (Shes still not responding.) Shes very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her.
Mrs. Waltham: Lovely to meet you.
Mr. Waltham: Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding. (He hand a multipage bill to Jack.)
Mr. Geller: Ohh forget it. Too hell with tradition, were happy to do it.
Mrs. Geller: We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw (patting Monica on the shoulder.).
(Ross quickly directs the families to their tables.)
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Chandler: Joey, its been three days, okay.. Your just a little homesick, Okay. Would you just try to relax. Just, just try to enjoy yourself.
Joey: (Pointing at Chandler.) Your different here too. Your mean in England. (Chandler throws his hands up to his head in frustration. They walk away from each other.)
[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]
Mr. Geller: (Pointing items out on the bill.) Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. Im paying to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets up.) Im going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind.
Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I dont want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
Mrs. Geller: Ooh, Jack....(He looks over to her) Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. (They embrace and kiss passionately.)
Monica: (Looking nauseous from her parents kissing.) And Im going to go get drunk. (Gets up to get a drink.)
Rachel: (Running to the ticket counter) Ooh, ooh, ooh,ooh,ooh. (Slightly out of breath) Hi.
Rachel: (Faking cheerfulness.) Hello. Umm, when is your next flight to London?
Ticket Agent: Im just going to need to see your passport.
Ross: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.
Mr. Waltham: Ahh, then you have to give us the lawn ornaments.
Ross: I go back there with lawn ornaments, hes going to laugh in my face.
Mrs. Waltham: This is ridiculous. I mean we had an agreement. (Ross looks frustrated. She begins to scream at her husband.) Will you say something, Steven?! Please!!!
Rachel: (Running to her room.) Hi, Pheebs.
Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you dont want to talk about it, thats fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...
Phoebe: (Trying to get up.) Wait!! Where are you going?! What are you doing?! No!! Wait!! (Not able to get up.) God!! Why am I always pregnant when she does that?!
[Scene: The Rehearsal Dinner Hall. Chandler, Joey, Ross, Emily, Monica, and all the bridal party are seated at the table. Chandler gets up to make a toast.]
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Rosss sister Monica.
Phoebe: No..umm, could I talk to one of them? Its very very important.
Mrs. Waltham: No, Im bored with you now. Im going to cut you off. (She hangs up.)
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay, Im going to have to kick her ass too.
Chandler: (Continuing his toast.) And Im sure were all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. (No reaction from the people.) Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. (He sits down.)
Joey: Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now Im not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys. (pointing at everyone.) But not as much as I love America. (Looking at Chandler.) Could we please..go home now?
Felicity: (Putting her arm around Joey.) Are you going home? I was hoping to get to know you better.
Monica: Well I didnt want everyone to think I was stupid.
Monica: My mothers driving me crazy, but Ross is getting married. Im happy. (A drunken man approaches.) Im not going to let anything spoil that.
Drunk Man: I just want to say that Ross is a wonderful young man.
Drunk Man: My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. (Monica stares straight forward after the comment. Chandler tries to console her by patting her on the shoulder.)
Ross: Look, were down to just one point. Could we please, maybe just settle it after the wedding.
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
(Chandlers trying to console Monica.)
Chandler: Because hes crazy. Okay? He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.
Monica: Oh, my mothers right. Im never going to get married.
[Scene: The airport. Rachel runs up to the ticket counter.]
Rachel: Hi, Im back. Listen, I need to...
Rachel: Hello. I need to get on the 11 o'clock flight.
Rachel: Okay, you know what/ Youre going to have to call that plane and tell them to swing around and come and pick me up.
Ticket Agent: Im afraid Im going to have to ask you to step aside, Miss.
Rachel: Look, If I dont get to London!! He is going to marry that other girl!!!
Chandler: (With the covers pulled up to his chin.) Morning, Ross.
Ross: Im getting married, to..day!!
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
Chandler: I dont want to look.
[Scene: The Virgin Atlantic flight to London that Rachel is on.]
Rachel: Oh. Im sorry. Im very sorry. Sorry. (She hums and sighs happily.) Its just, Im ahh, Im kinda excited. Im, ahh, going to London to ahh, tell this guy that I love him and... (He puts his headphones on to ignore her.)
Phoebe: I dont want to hear about her!!
Phoebe: No! No, we have an emergency. Okay? Rachels coming to London.
Phoebe: No its not great. No, shes coming to tell Ross that she loves him.
Phoebe: I KNOW THAT!!! You have to stop her!! Shes going to ruin the wedding!!
Joey: Look weve got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachels coming to tell Ross she loves him!!
Joey: I know! Thats why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?
[Scene: The plane. Rachel's telling her story to the passenger on her left. The one on her left is still wearing his headphones.]
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Passenger: (Frustrated he takes his headphones off.) Oh, oh oh!! Im sorry, can I interrupt? You know I just want to say..That you are a horrible, horrible person.
Passenger: You say you love this man, yet youre about to ruin the happiest day of his life. Im afraid I have to agree with you friend Pheebs.. This is a..this is a...terrible, terrible plan.
Rachel: But he has to know how I feel!
Passenger: Oh-no.(He bites his fist at her.)And by the way, it seems to be perfectly clear that you were on a break. (Rachel gasps and doesnt know what to say. He puts his headphones back on.)
[Scene: The church where Ross and Emily are to be married. Judy, Andrea, and Monica enter together.]
Monica: (Angrily.) You can let some of them go by!(Judy and Andrea go to the front of the chapel. Joey approaches Monica.)
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
Joey: Okay. (They both walk off to watch for Rachel.)
(Ross and chandler are standing next to the alter. Ross is practicing for the wedding.)
Felicity: Um-hum. Talk New York to me again.
Felicity: Mmm. (She pushes him up against the wall and they begin to kiss.)
Mrs. Geller: Theres nothing to discuss. Were not paying for your wine cellar.
Mr. Waltham: (Pleading.) You-you have to meet me in the middle here.
Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
Mr. Waltham: Sorry old boy, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. (Them all walk away. As he leaves he mutters to Jack.) I could kill you with my thumb, you know.
Emily: (Giggles.) Ohh...(She realizes that shes in her gown.) Oh! You were not meant to see me before the wedding. Its bad luck.
Ross: You know what, I think weve had all the bad luck were going to have. (He hugs her.)
(The front entrance. Joey and the bridesmaid are up against the wall kissing. Rachel comes in the door and walks by Joey unnoticed. She walks into the chapel and sees Ross and Emily kissing. She looks as though she wants to cry. Emily walks away and Ross turns and sees Rachel standing there.)
Rachel: Well I just came...(She touches him near his heart. Shes almost in tears.) I just needed to tell you...(Looking into his eyes. She takes a deep breath.) Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold back the tears.)
[Scene: Camera fades to one of the band members playing guitar at the wedding. The chapel is full of guest. A groomsmen escorts a bridesmaid down the isle. Joey is waiting with Mrs. Waltham to escort he down the isle. A cellular phone rings.]
Phoebe: Yea. Can I please, please, please talk to one of the best men? This is going to be the last time I promise.
Joey: (Smiling.) Ohh great!! (Putting the phone to his ear.) Hello. (He begins to escort her down the aisle.)
Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.
(They quickly take their places and Here Comes the Bride Begins to play. Everyone seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle by her father. She kisses him on the cheek and takes her place by Rosss side.)
Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. May the happiness we share with them today be with them always. Now Emily, repeat after me. I, Emily...
(Rachel looks all around as if all the eyes in the chapel were looking at her as the picture fades to black.)
Rachel: This is Bonnie? (to Phoebe) This is Bonnie? (to Bonnie) Youre Bonnie?
JOEY: Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.
Ross: All right, lets not jump to any conclusions. All right? There was some sexual chemistry between them.
Rachel: Thank you. (Dr. Long exits.) Well, I guess we have some time to kill.
Ross: How are you ever going to sell this place?
Chandler: That means nothing to me. (To Ross) Come on!
Monica: Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.
Ross: Now I cannot wait to see this.
Monica: (comes running out the kitchen to the bedroom) Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it!
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasnt as bad as-as
(Joey gestures to show that he wouldn't dare...)
[Scene: A curbside newsstand, Phoebe is whistling and walking up to it wearing her fur coat. She stops and starts to look through a magazine and notices a squirrel on a nearby tree chirping at her.]
Joey: Yeah-yeah I like that but just to go in another direction
Phoebe: Its me. Its Phoebe. Listen theres something in here I want to eat, what-what smells so good?
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Rachel: Thank you! And now if youll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emilys hand, but she snatches it away from him.)
Ross: (to the woman checking her mail) Who isn't?
Rachel: No, forget it! No way! I am not sending anymore Ralph Lauren clothes to prison. It is a waste.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!
(Rachel goes to hug him but Ross is holding one of her hands and doesnt let go, so she can only put one arm around him.)
Chandler: Yeah, I think that's wrong, but there's a Connect the Dots in here for you later. (To Monica) Hey, how about maroon?
Ross: Do you have a minute? Id like to talk to you about something Im, Im really uncomfortable talking about.
Rachel: I know Mona, just hear me out. First of all, Im so sorry about my father yelling at you, but I heard you totally held your own. Youre gonna have to tell me how you did that.
Monica: I mean, youre the one theyre gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex.
Ross: Oh, taking my parents back to the hotel.
Phoebe: Fine! Then you tell Roger because he was really looking forward to this! (Phoebe exits.)
Monica: No-no, its not okay! Its not! I mean you were just Youre so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Yknow Im just gonnaI, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and I am going to do anything you want in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Mackenzie: Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it?
Chandler: (In a loving voice) Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you then it's important to me, because I love you.
Phoebe: Do you wanna get to Rachel in time?
Monica: Ohh, sweetie! (Goes to comfort her.) Hey, I bet you anything that hes gonna call you again.
Gary: Y'know I really want to move this relationship forward.
Rachel: No, Im just kidding I would never do that to you! Okay, everybody, its trifle time!
Monica: (looking very serious) I need to talk to you.
Joey: your right! I love my life! (He gets up to go and speak to the girl and he turns back and sits down) I actually did sleep with her.
Phoebe: Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to?
Ross: What a weird way to kick me when Im down.
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?
Monica: Okay, just back off mister! Whoa. (Pause) Cause I am ready to have a baby. I just want Joey to be the father.
Rachel: Well, Chandler, youre gonna have to tell him.
Rachel: Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.
Phoebe: We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...
Receptionist: Well, heres a schedule of whats coming up. (Hands it to him.)
Rachel: Okay great, hold on a sec! (She runs to her room and returns carrying a huge bag of laundry.) Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks!
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Phoebe: Oh, well what are you doing here? Are you about to do it? (Gasps) Is it Gunther?
Chandler: All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay?
Ross: (To Rachel) I wasnt talking to you.
Ross: Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine!
SUSIE: Um, so listen, how many times am I gonna have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date.
Ross: Did you tell your sister to ask me out?
Phoebe: Wow! See, and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.
ROSS: No, you, ya know there's no need to make it u. . . how?
Joey: Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.
Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.
Monica: (To Erica) Oh my God, he's beautiful. Thank you so much.
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Joey: Aww, I don't want to see that!
Mr. Treeger: Yeah, it happened to me once. I was just flipping through the channels and bam! It was like finding money.
Joey: No way! I've been going to the guy for 12 years.
Ross: No, I barely even got to three Mississippi.
Monica: Thanks. (Goes to fetch him.)
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Phoebe: (running out) Wait! Wait! Hi! Listen, Ross can I just talk to you for just a second?
Joey: (Looking around) Uhh do you happen to have a hot girl in there?
Rachel: Okay. (Grabs the blender and starts to drink.)
Joey's Hand Twin: Please, please take him too. (Motions to Joey.)
Chandler: I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is.
Mike: OK, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think I just saw a rat in your cupboard.
Rachel: Ok, well this is like that...in no way. I had a...I had a dream last night that I wanted to kiss Joey.
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
Rachel: Yeah! Its weird. But the thing is need to find a date.
(Rachel comes back to the gate.)
Phoebe: Okay, dont give me a reason to get mad, okay
(Rachel, Ross and Ross go to the bathroom)
Rachel: Okay. Honey, I would love for you to go with me. (Ross has a worried look on his face) What?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler is trying to listen through the door.]
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Bonnie: (getting up and leaving) (to Ross) Okay, Ill see you in our room.
Monica: I dont want things to change! Do you?
Chandler: I know you probably dont want to go out with me, yknow because I make too many jokes and Ive never been in a serious relationship and I guess Im not technically a "doctor "
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
Joey: All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing.
Chandler: Oh, dont thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
Frank: Yeah, y'know I feel like I can really talk to you cause y'know youre my sister, y'know.
Rachel: Oh, good, good! We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma and we'll give it to her when she is 18.
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
Monica: Yeah sure, nature called, she wanted to see who else did.
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Chandler: Oh, uhm... I have to work too. Yeah, I'm stuck at the office all day.
Mrs. Green: No. Sweetie, youre gonna be fine. (Starts to get up.)
Rachel: (To Ross) Fine! (To the salesman) We went out.
Phoebe: (entering from Rachel's room, wearing a huge bow to cover the stain) Okay, I'm ready.