words in movies
Chandler: Pheebs, can you help me pick out an engagement ring for Monica? I cant figure this out! Its so hard! Should I get her a (turning to each page) Tiffany cut or a Princess cut or aah-ah! Paper cut!
Chandler: No, I dont want to tell anybody else because I dont want Monica to find out.
(Joey and Ross enter causing Chandler to quickly hide the brochure behind his back.)
Phoebe: Hey! So Chandler, wanna go to the coffeehouse?
Ross: Oh perfect, we were just gonna see if you wanted to go.
Rachel: Good. Although yknow, he-hes a private guy. Yknow, I wish I could get him to open up a little bit, share some feelings.
Phoebe: Thats easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles that wont open.
Phoebe: No thats what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Watch this.
Paul: (To Rachel) How are you?
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Okay.
(Phoebe turns to Rachel and mimes remove a lid of a jar. Ross enters and Paul motions for Rachel to leave with him now.)
Rachel: Okay. (Gets up and starts to leave with Paul.)
Paul: (To Ross) Hey!
Ross: Great to see you!
Paul: Good to see you too!
Paul: Good. Bye! (Starts to leave.)
Ross: Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didnt invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul and Rachel are getting ready to go out. Paul is entering from the bathroom.]
Rachel: Yeah thats great. But first, wait, talk to me, talk to me. Tell me about your day.
Rachel: Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, thats always a painful time! Yknow your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while youre sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag.
Paul: Nope! That never happened to me!
Rachel: Thats-thats great! See? I already feel like I know you a little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Lets go. (Gets up to leave, but Paul doesnt move.)
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
Paul: Chicken? (Pointing to himself.) Chicken boy!
Rachel: My God, Im sorry! Im sorry! I didnt mean to do that! I wouldnt do that!
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
Chandler: Yknow, Im so glad I picked you to help me with this.
Chandler: Yeah, Im gonna stick with the ring. (Goes to another display counter.) Oh, this ones nice! (Pointing to another ring.) I like this one! Sir? Uh, kind sir? Can I see this one?
Phoebe: (coming over after returning the musket) Wait a minute, no, this is, this is the reason you brought me. Okay? I know how to haggle. So let me handle this from here on out.
Chandler: Uh-uh, yes. I would like to see that ring please.
Chandler: Sir, can I ask you to umm, could you hold out that ring and ask me to marry you?
Phoebe: Chandler, I-I will handle this! (To the jeweler) How much is it?
Male Jeweler: (ignoring her) How would you like to pay?
Chandler: Uh, credit card. (Reaches for it then realizes) Oh no! No-no, but I left my credit card with Joey. (To Phoebe) Okay, Ill go get it. You guard the ring.
Phoebe: Okay. (To the jeweler) Listen, Im sorry about before. Do you have anything her for $10.
Ross: Okay. Well, apparently Chandlers angry at us for not getting him a ticket to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago.
Joey: Oh, were supposed to just get him a ticket?! That guy is always mooching off of us!
Ross: Yeah! Anyway, I-I still think we should try to patch things up, yknow? Like uh, maybe we could get him to get tickets to another Knicks game and invite him.
Ross: Oh. (Starts to get his money)
Rachel: Like a little girl. I know. I know. I know. This is all my fault; I wanted him to open up. But God, I didnt know that I was gonna unleash this-this weepy, clingy, moist monster!
Monica: Yknow, I only know of two surefire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is sex.
Monica: I dont know, Ive never had to use the other one. Im just saying yknow, if were having sex, hes not gonna be talking.
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. Shes got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]
Phoebe: Okay umm, Id also like to try on the tiara. (The male jeweler hands it to her.) Oh yeah. Okay. (Puts it on.) (To the jeweler) What do you think, too much?
Phoebe: Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. (He hands it to her and Phoebe poses in front of one of those small mirrors.) Somethings missing. Its not Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out.
Male Jeweler: (to the female jeweler) Wheres the 1920s princess cut ring.
Female Jeweler: I just sold it to that gentleman. (Points to the one walking out the store.)
Chandler: No. How are ya Paul? (Starts to look for his credit card.)
Paul: (acting manly to try and cover up his crying) Okay. Chandler, did your dad ever hug you?
Paul: Thats exactly what my dad used to say! (Starts to breakdown again.)
Joey: Whoa-whoa-hey-hey! (Motions to Chandler, "Whats going on?") Hi, Paul is it? (Paul nods yes and still hugging Joey.)
Joey: Yes, its in my In in my pocket. (Paul hasnt dropped him yet.) (Chandler starts to reach for his front pocket.) My back pocket! My back pocket!
Joey: Oh hey listen I got us tickets to a Knicks game tonight.
Phoebe: Some guy bought it. Im sorry. I tired to stop it but they (points to the jeweler) put me in jail!
Chandler: Phoebe, I asked you to guard the ring!
Chandler: Yeah but when he proposed to me with the ring I got goose bumps.
Ross: Yknow what? He didnt want to talk to us about being angry, well maybe we dont talk to him at all!
Paul: Hey! I have so much more to tell ya, Ive written it all down!
Paul: Wait! Wait! Listen! Listen to this! (Flips a couple pages and points to something.) Yknow what I wanted to be when I was that age?
Paul: I wanted to be one with the waves, yknow?
Rachel: Okay, hold on real quick, hold on a second let me just uh, (sits on the counter and buttons her sweater to show some cleavage) get a little more comfortable here. Wait, now wait a second, this isnt too revealing is it?
Paul: (barely glancing at her) No. What ever happened to that little dude. (Pause) So full of dreams
Rachel: I dont care about the little dude! I cant! I cannot listen to anymore of this! Yknow, the only person who would want to listen to this is a mental health professional! And then its only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I couldve made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know when I figured that out? While you were talking!
Paul: What?! I cant believe youre trying to stifle me! When just 14 hours ago we figured out that that is exactly what my mother was trying to do to me!
Rachel: Oh Im sorry. I I-I dont meanI didnt mean to stifle you. I This is all just a little overwhelming.
Paul: Oh Rachel, Im so sorry. I didnt mean to overwhelm you. Its just that, when those gates open, you (Starts to breakdown.) Hard to close em. But they are closed now. Believe me.
Chandler: No, its not! When I looked at the other ring I could see Monicas face when I gave it to her, yknow? And I could see her saying yes. When I look at this ring, all I see is a ring! Unless I look at it really closely and then I can see my own eye. (Does so and laughs.) Look, this is the most important thing Im gonna do in my life. I wanna make sure its perfect.
Phoebe: Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler and Phoebe are entering. This is the place where the guy who bought Chandlers ring is going to propose.]
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (Walks over to him.) Excuse me sir? Could you come with me please? You have a phone call.
(She brings him over to Chandler.)
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Here he is.
Chandler: (to him) Hi! Hi. Okay, there was a slight mix-up at the jewelry store, the ring youre about to propose with was supposed to be held for me. So, Im gonna need to have that back. (The guy isnt sure.) But, in exchange Im willing to trade you this beautiful, more expensive ring. (Looking at the ring.) Ew.
Chandler: No-no! This is my fiancee (Phoebe) and her heart was set on that ring. You dont want to break her heart now do you?
Phoebe: Yeah, do you want to break a dying womans heart?
Phoebe: Yes, and it is my dying wish to have that ring. See, if Im not buried with that ring then my spirit is going to wander the nether world for all eternity
Chandler: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! (To his girlfriend) And you are about to marry a wonderful man! (She stunned and hes horrified.) Hey! Im marrying a dead woman!
Chandler: Guys? (They ignore him.) Ive got something important to tell ya. (Still nothing so he walks over and stands in front of the TV.) Guys? (They lean over to try and watch the TV, Chandler mimics them.) Guys?! (Pause) Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Joey: (To Ross) I think we gotta end the freeze out.
Chandler: Yeah, check out the ring. (Shows it to them.)
Chandler: (goes to hug him and stops short) HeyyyyWhat?
Chandler: Okay! (They hug.) I was gonna wait til uh, it was official yknow? But I got so excited I just had to tell you guys because youre my best friends.
(Ross and Joey urge Chandler to tell Rachel.)
Chandler: Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Ross: Chandlers gonna ask Monica to marry him!
Chandler: Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? (Ross and Joey look at each other and go back to watching the game on TV.) Guys? Guys? (Walks in front of them again.)
Rachel: Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually (starting to cry), but now she's actually stealing you.
Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. Why won't you go to sleep? Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. You're, you're, you're keeping me uppp! (Yeah, that's to the tune of Smelly Cat.)
Joey: Good. (He sets his stuff down and starts talking to Kate, another cast member.) Hey.
Chandler: (to the girls) We were playing poker, alright...
Joey: Oh, uh... don't forget your coupon. (Tries to strike a sexy pose up against the doorway to his room. Then goes inside).
Ross: So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh is he a good guy?
Ross: Im sorry, I dont believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other.
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
(Joey leaves to get the copy of the key.)
Mrs. Tedlock: Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to stop by his office at the end of the day.
Chandler: You have to really wanna see it.
Monica: So, you're ready to do this?
Chandler: Or a job where you dont have to carry a table.
Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them)
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Phoebe: Hey Joey, yknow what? You are way to good for her.
Rachel: Huh. Well, y'know thats actually a really good idea, because that way theyll be closer to the mugs. Y'know what, you should have the other waitresses do that too.
Ross: She wants me to move to London.
Monica: We're moving in a couple of days and we've got a lot of packing to do. It would be great if you guys could pitch in.
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
Chandler: No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, (Reading the label) Mommas Little Bakery. (Pause) I feel terrible, Im a horrible, horrible, horrible person.
Ross: Ohh! Thank you! I like mail. (He goes to kiss her again, but she turns away.)
MONICA: Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.
Monica: Okay, all right dont judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so amazing....
[cut to the girls huddle.]
Ross: (laughing) Ohh. (Phoebe takes a couple of steps to the door and Ross quickly hurries out.)
Phoebe: Oh can I? Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone. It's really not fair either! You know, just because we don't eat the meat doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcasses!
Joey: Why not?! (to Chandler) Im hungry.
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Chandler: No, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry is pretty much fourth y'know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. (Laughs.) Will you be my wife?
Chandler: To pay for the gym.
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section!
(They both go over to light the candles.)
Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
Phoebe: To see if know what these guys are talking about.
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Ross is explaining to the gang what happened with his mother.]
Rachel: Oh-oh, sorry, its this way, its this way. (Motions to the correct way.)
Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
Rachel: Okay. (Starts to go.) God yknow, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbianis apartment
(Chandler and Joey look at her, and then look back at him. They dive for Ross's hand to see what he had, and he tries to stop them from looking.)
Phoebe: Great. (Goes to take the test.)
Monica: Listen, uh, you told me something that was really difficult for you. And I, I-I figured if you could be honest, then I can to.
Chandler: That's good one too, Pheebs. Now all you have to do is find a planeload of people who's resolution is to plummet to their deaths.
Ross: (to the girls) Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl’s breast?
Chandler: (to Ross) All right listen, I have to go to the bathroom, but if the place with the big fish comes up again. Id like know whether thats several big fish or just one big fish.
Fat Monica: Ross! (Wanting to be introduced.)
[Scene: Silvercup studios, Joey is taking a shower in Charlton Hestons dressing room. Heston enters the room, Joey panics, and walks over to the shower and confronts Joey about the use of his shower.]
Rachel: "Indeed there isn't"... I should really get back to work.
Cassie: Ill always remember that summer, because its when I got all of these freckles. (She pulls her blouse open to show him her shoulder and bra strap.)
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Can you hear anything?
Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)
[Cut to the living room.]
Monica: With a wok? (Chandlers holding a wok.) I thought you were going to read my boring book to put you asleep.
Monica: Doesn't matter, I'll get 'em tomorrow. Or not. Whenever. (He goes to her room.)
Rachel: Oh yeah! (Turns to face him.)
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Joey: Oh... yeah... Probably you don't even remember my name. It's Joey, by the way. And don't bother telling me yours, because I totally remember it... lady. Yeah! I waited weeks for you to call me.
Lizzie: No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.
Chandler: (turning to face her) Yeah.
Monica: Sure, I love this part! (Starts to look busy.)
Rachel: (shocked) They had to have that specially made?!
Rachel: Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about.
Monica: Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller.
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
(They run to the ticket counter, but they get stuck behind a group of old people who are walking very slowly.)
Ross: Nothing. Oh, actually, great news! I just got off the phone with Emily and it looks like I'm moving to a new apartment. Woo-hoo!
PHOEBE: Oh, no no, that side doesn't have one, the paramedics had to cut through it. [Chandler jumps out of the car]
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Ross: Yes, we have to tell her!
Monica: Nooo! No, thats not true. No, best time ever! Yeah, you rocked me world! (She turns out the light to go back to sleep.)
Ross starts talking over her 'do you remember' line: Amy. I'm going to save you some time, ok. <spins finger around in circle> All me.
Joey: Who cares? You're Rachel! (To Chandler) Who's Kip?
Rachel: So what are you guys going to do?
Chandler: If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?
Chandler: Im only going to pretend Im moving to Yemen, its the only way I can get rid off her.
Ross: I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision? (They're all quiet.) I'm actually asking you!
Chandler: Yknow what? Its gonna be okay. Yknow what? Shes probably not gonna even want to come.
[Scene: The park, the gang is returning to play the second half of the game.]
Rachel: Well, she told me too! (Points to Monica and Joey glares at her.)
Ross: Well, as much as Id like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I arent going to be here. All right? I mean, shes going to come by first to say good-bye, and then Ive got a whole special evening planned. So Im sorry, no party.
[Cut to a shot of a park.]
Rachel: Yeah, it's in there. (Points to the bathroom.)
Rachel: Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you "momma's boy", starting right now.
[cut to Rachel and Monica at the counter.]
Monica: (To Chandler) Rachel's at work.
Monica: (to the clerk) Ooh, an ink stain! Hey, can I watch how you get this out?
JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.
(Phoebe snaps the ball to Monica, who pitches back to Rachel.)
FBOB: Well, I would make them Belgian, but the waffles are hard to get into that flask.
Kathy: The Velveteen Rabbit. I kinda have the feeling you had something to do with it.
Chandler: No, I prefer to keep a safe distance from all this merriment.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Rosss apartment. We see that Rosss apartment is empty.]
ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.
The Interviewer: So, lets talk about women. Im sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
Monica: I think it's totally insane, I mean, they work for the hospital. It's like returning to the scene of the crime. You know, I say we blow off the dates.
MIKE: Yeah.� (pause)� Yeah, I'm sorry.� I don't . . . I don't really like to talk about it.
Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.
Monica: OK, we done with the chit-chat? Are we ready to play some serious poker?