words in movies
ROSS: There we go. All better. (gives Ben back to Monica)
CHANDLER: Can I uh see something? (Takes Ben. When he puts him close to Monica, Ben cries. When he moves Ben away, he stops crying.)
CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
(Chandler has a basketball which he is moving closer to, then away from, Monica)
ROSS: And that's what's gonna kill me. I'm allergic to kiwi.
MONICA: No you're not. You're, you're allergic to lobster and peanuts and--oh my god.
MONICA: All right, get your coat, we're going to the hospital.
ROSS: What about Ben? We can't bring a baby to a hospital.
CHANDLER: I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window.
TERRY: F.Y.I.. I've decided to pay a professional musician to play in here on Sunday afternoons. Her name is Stephanie... something. She's supposed to be very good.
TERRY: Rachel, it's not that your friend is bad, it's that she's so bad, she makes me want to put my finger through my eye into my brain and swirl it around.
RACHEL: Ok, ok, so you're not a fan, but I mean, come on, you cannot do this to her.
RACHEL: Oh, no no no no. Oh no no no no. I have to do this to her?
CHANDLER: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
JOEY: (to Chandler) What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you?
CAROLINE: You know, my brother and his boyfriend have been trying to adopt for three years. What agency did you two go through?
PHOEBE: And he's going to be paying this woman? Why doesn't he just give her like a throne, and a crown, and like a, you know, gold stick with a ball on top.
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
MONICA: My brother, the PhD would like to know if there's any way to treat this orally.
DOCTOR: No, under these circumstances it has to be an injection, and it has to be now.
MONICA: That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just gonna have to be brave, ok? Can you do that for me?
CHANDLER: That's a good plan, Joe. Next time we wanna pick up women, we should just go to the park and make out. Taxi, taxi!
CHANDLER: (to taxi driver) Just practicing. You're good. Carry on.
GIRL 1: So uh, you wanna go to Marquel's?
PHOEBE: Ok, do you know how to go from D to A minor?
JOEY: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
RACHEL: Uh, to Stephanie Schiffer.
STEPHANIE: Thank you. I'd like to start with a song that I wrote for the first man I ever loved. (singing) Zachary.
PHOEBE: (singing/screaming) You're all invited to bite me!
BOTH (but to different babies): Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy!
CHANDLER: We have to assign heads to something.
CHANDLER: What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?
PHOEBE: Eight dollars and 27 cents. But not really, 'cause I put in the first two, just to, you know, get the ball rolling, and to make myself feel better.
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
ROSS: I'm here. How's my little boy? Want Daddy to change your diaper? So, did you have fun with Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?
(Another sweaty woman comes to the door and speaks to her friend)
Monica: (Angrily.) You can let some of them go by!(Judy and Andrea go to the front of the chapel. Joey approaches Monica.)
[cut to later]
Joey: Well, get ready to come out of the non-gay closet!
Mrs. Bing: Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon?
Ross: So, so, is Mike coming to dinner?
Ross: Of course it is. Yeah, come on in. Ooh-ooh, go by the window you can pretend to be surfing. (He pretends he's surfing by the window.)
Dina: Joey, I am scared to death about this. But I really think I can do it, Im just gonna need some help. And Bobbys gonna be here the whole time.
Monica: Yeah, you really shouldn't. (to Ross, sarcastically) By the way, how was that year-long dig in Cairo?
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
Mona: Yknow, I-I-I just I dont want to get in the middle of something so complicated.
(Things start to get really hot upstairs.)
Bonnie: Hey, what happened to you?
Ross: Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this. (walks out of the picture) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns) And sometimes I may be away longer, like this. (walks away) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns)
Ross: Wow! This is so amazing. I uh, I really thought Id have to talk you into this more.
Ross: Isabella Rosselini. (points to her)
Phoebe: Theres a skylight?! (Runs to see and yells from the bedroom.) Wow!!
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
Joey: Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is ranting about Jill to Chandler and Monica.]
MOnica: Ok, my husband just gave your boyfriend some very bad advice. Look, David is going to propose to you tonight.
Ross: Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. (Wants to take the hat off, but Rachel tries to stop him).
Joey: Oh, hey listen! The Soapies called today and I also get to present an award.
Rachel: Uh. No.. I was going to let you use my Ralph Lauren discount.
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: Hey Sal, Jerry wants to know if the monkey's ready for the subway set?
MONICA: I don't know what to say.� We shouldn't have lied to you.
Chandler: Okay, no problem, just remember to wake us up before you go-go.
Ross: No, God! Hey, Rach, you've been an amazing daughter, ok? Right now you just need to get some rest.
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
Joey: Yeah, are you just going down there to gawk at that hot girl with the belly button ring again?
[Scene: Outside Ross and Rachel's, Joey walks up to knock on the door, but stops.]
Donny: ...should be playing with the star of "General Hospital" Leslie Charleson. (applause) Welcome everybody. Good luck to all of you. Let's play Pyramid. All right? Now... we flipped a coin before the show, Gene, you won the toss, so you're gonna start. Which category would you like?
Joey: (to Ross) Hey! Here's the birthday boy! Ross, check it out: hockey tickets, Rangers-Penguins, tonight at the Garden, and we're taking you.
Rachel: Okay you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional, I would have said yes to anybody. Like that time you and I got married! (Pause) Im not helping.
Phoebe Sr.: (to Phoebe) Im your mother.
Chandler: (thinks for a second, then waves his arms, exclaiming:) AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! (and runs out of the apartment)
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Rachel: Thats also the smaller piece. (Puts the piece onto a plate.) Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and dont come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. (As shes saying that she is backing out the door, when she finishes she turns around to return to her place, stumbles and drops the cheesecake on the floor.) Oh!!!!
PHOEBE: Ooh, where are you off to, Travelin' Jake?
Ginger: Okay. Its just like anything else, you just have to get used to it.
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Joey: Yeah! Much! Listen uh, not that Im yknow insecure about my manhood or anything yknow, but I think I need to hook up with a woman like right now.
(Monicas entrance makes Phoebe try to hide the ring by putting it in her mouth.)
Chandler: Anyway, err... I need to borrow some money.
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
Ross: Yknow what? I dont like you without mom. (To Joey) Come on. (Walks away.)
Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, heres some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. Youre gonna make a wonderful father.
Rachel: All right, okay. Alright, let's give to these babies something to cry about!
(Does a Mexican dancing-thing before going to the kitchen.)
Joey: Just pass it to your boss!
[Time lapse, Monica is now wearing the dress while doing the dishes and is making like she is thanking her guests for coming to her wedding. Paging Dr. Crane. Dr. Fraiser Crane!]
Ross: Ah-ha, nowhere to run! (He starts to run towards them.)
Mike: No but... You don't want to get married either right?
Rachel: Oh well, y'know, the gala had to end sometime.
ROSS: Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.
Monica: Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were...shopping.
Rachel: (handing him the letter) Its just some things Ive been thinking about. Some things about us, and before we can even think about the two of us getting back together, I just need to know how you feel about this stuff.
Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. Thats a lot of Monica.
Phoebe: Oh, I was telling them about you and Emily. Y'know, try to get some sympathy.
(Monica sees a woman pass by with a baby, puts the phone to her chest, and starts to cry. Chandler takes the phone, makes a noise in it resembling static, and hangs up. Joey enters.)
Ross: I was kinda, supposed to be on TV tonight for The Discovery Channel.
Ross: Hey, what have you guys been up to?
ROSS: Hey, let's bring the rest of these down to the truck.
Joey: He forgot to leave his grip size!
FBOB: I needed to buy a hammer the other night, and I'm out walkin' around the neighborhood but apparently there are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.
[the tape cuts to Monica's parents under the covers]
Chandler: (to the girls who are staring at him) What?
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
Phoebe: Okay, I wanna be sexy again so I'm trying to catch a cold. It should be easy, supposedly they're pretty common.
Phoebe: (to the person that answered the door) Hi, Ursula.
Ross: (mimicking) Ooh, ooh. Because she's my ex-wife, and will probably want to bring her, ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner.
(He thinks about it and decides to join in by turning over a chair and continue ransacking the place.)
Ross: What are you doing? Are you trying to hurt me? Or something?
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
Rachel: Off to see young Ethan?
Chandler: (leaving to go to work) Hey!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross and Phoebe have been banished to Ross's place.]
Chandler: Okay. Then I guess its just, wait here then. (Hands her the sign that says, Wait Here.") (To the ticket agent) Hi. I need one fake ticket to Yemen.
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Ross: Oh! Hello uh, Mona from her restaurant. (He uses his card to mouth those words.) (Pause) Mona, wow what a, what a beautiful name.
Ross: Oh, I don't know, they seem to have a shared interest in each other's tonsils...
Phoebe: (To Ross) For what it's worth, we would have caught her if we were at the right airport.
RADIO: The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross. Rachel, he wants you to know he's deeply sorry for what he did and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him. (With or Without You plays)
Phoebe: Im sorry, I-I-I-I dont live here anymore. I-I didnt know how to tell you, but y'know everybody else knows!
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
MONICA: Sorry Joey [runs to the bathroom]
(Sergei says something to Mischa.)
Joey: (to Chandler) The Irish gig guy?!
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
Rachel: I dont know. I dont know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I dont want to make. (Takes another sip of champagne and spits it back out) Somebody just take this away from me!!
Joey: You know, on the one hand you're happy for them, but on the other hand it's hard to let go.
Rachel: What? Im not you. This may be the only wedding I ever have. I want it to be amazing.
Rachel: Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
Phoebe: I know! (Phoebe picks up a little packet of sugar, shakes it, and then realises she can't open it with one hand, but doesn't want to let go of Mike's hand. She tries to tear open the packet with one hand.)
Phoebe: All better! Back to work! Except this clown from research told me I was fired. He should do his research, huh?
Monica: Are you nuts?! We've got George Stephanopoulos' pizza! (Rachel pays him, Monica grabs some binoculars, and runs to the window.)
Ross: So when I came in here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again, you were engaged to my best friend.