words in movies
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
Ross: There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money.
Phoebe: But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use?
Phoebe: Yeah! Now, how would you feel if we gave all the wedding money to charity and we just got married at City Hall?
Ross: I've got to say you guys, that's an incredible gesture!
Chandler: (to Ross) Maybe you do that next time you get married!
Chandler: You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways!
Chandler: Kind of. She's coming by to interview us and see where we live.
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Monica: Ok, so there's not a magazine under the couch, or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank, or a filthy video in the VCR?
Chandler: I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine.
Phoebe: Yes. We're here to make a rather sizeable donation to the children.
Charity guy: Oh, actually, that's the shirt I wore to the gym.
Ross: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!
Ross: Like I said I was thinking of taking Emma to the museum of knives and fire!
Rachel: Ok, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground.
Rachel: Yes, I was 4 years old and I was on the swing and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. And to get me out my mom had to-had to cut a big chunk of my hair! (crying) And it was uneven for weeks!
Ross: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see!
Rachel: Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth!
Ross: Good, you don’t want to be one of those mothers who pass on their irrational fears on their children, do you?
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Phoebe: No, no, no, we’re not having a big reception, we took the money we were gonna spend on a wedding and we donate them to the children charity.
Chandler: But you already gave all your money to charity!
[Scene: The playground. Ross put Emma on the swing and they’re ready to play]
Ross (to Emma): Ready sweety?
Rachel: Ok. Oh God. (To Ross) Get the camera, it’s in the diaper bag.
Ross: Ok! (he takes the camera and walks backwards to take a shot) See? Scared of swings, I bet you feel pretty silly (a swinging boy knocks him down) Ow!
Phoebe: It’s for our wedding day! Right, now, is this guy gay or straight, because one of us gonna have to start flirting.
Charity guy: Wow! Are you here to make another donation the same day? I don’t think that that’s ever happened before.
Phoebe (to Mike): Gay, go.
Mike (to the charity guy): Oh my God, I love your shirt!
Charity guy: So you’re asking us to refund your donation to the children?
Phoebe: I am sorry. I am, but this wedding is just really important to me.
Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)
Monica: Would you like something to drink?
Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
Monica: Ah, thank you. This building does have a wholesome family feel to it.
Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)
Joey: (form the other side of the door) Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? (He starts to enter the apartment and Chandler runs to the door and shuts it back in his face) OW!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel are at the playground with Emma. Rachel in putting her back in the stroller and Ross is tending to his wound]
Ross: SON OF A BITCH! (turns to his right to see three kids staring at him) (To the kids) Oh relax! I didn't say the 'F' word! (They go away)
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
Ross: No wait, okay, okay, I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing, okay? And you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of.
Ross: I know. (Rachel bends down to Emma and Ross looks over his shoulder again, afraid)
Chandler: (Screams to interrupt Joey) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......AAAaaa-doption!!
Chandler: WE'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, BERT. EVERYTHNG'S FINE!!
(cut to Joey on the other side, who finally leaves the door and goes to his apartment)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Laura: Well, I must say, this seems like a lovely environment to raise a child in.
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
Laura: Oh! Well, actually, before we look around, let me make sure I have everything I need up to here...
Monica: (To Chandler) What room should we see next?
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
Chandler: (escorting Joey to the door) You have to get out of here. You slept with our social worker and you never called her back and she is still pissed, so she can't see you.
Chandler: And for the last time, we do not want to be friends with you! And we don't want to buy your bat! (Joey lowers his bat)
Joey: (to Chandler) Bert! Bert! Bert! Bert!
Joey: Oh... yeah... Probably you don't even remember my name. It's Joey, by the way. And don't bother telling me yours, because I totally remember it... lady. Yeah! I waited weeks for you to call me.
Joey: No, no! Don't try to turn this around on me, ok? I'm not some kind of... social work, ok, that you can just... do.
Joey: No, no, hey, no! Too late for apologies... ok? You broke my heart. You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you? (and he leaves the apartment, leaving her shocked)
Laura: (laughing nervously) I'm sorry that you had to see that. I'm so embarrassed...
Laura: Boy, you people are nice... And I've got to say... I think you're going to make excellent parents.
Joey: LAURA! (and points to her, very confident)
Phoebe: (to the Charity guy) We're back!
Charity guy: Are you here to take more money? Because, I think what you're looking for is an ATM.
Mike: No, no, we're here to give the money back.
(the Charity guy smiles wanting to take the check, but Phoebe pulls it back again. His smile fades.)
Charity guy: If I haven't said so already sir, (sarcastically pointing to Phoebe) congratulations!
Mike: (takes the check from Phoebe) Ok, look! Enough! Alright? I'm stepping in. I'm putting my foot down! As your future husband I'm going to make this decision for us. (thinking) Now... what do you think we should do?
Charity guy: Yeah... And I'm giving it back to you... Come on! Consider it a contribution. (gives the check to Phoebe)
Mike: Well, I mean... It sounds good to me. And that way we can save up, come back in a few years and make an even bigger donation.
Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up)
Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh...
[Scene: The playground. Ross, Rachel and Emma are still there. Rachel comes walking to Ross and Emma with something between her hands.]
Rachel: Ok... (and passes the spider to Ross who holds it in between his hands)
(She slowly walks forward and backward, to gain speed...)
Ross: There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I don't really even feel him in here anymore.
Ross: Well... (realizes, screaming like a little girl, trying to get rid of the spider) Whaa... aaah... aaahhh...
(Ross is now preoccupied with the spider, and forgets that Rachel is still using the swing. While trying to get rid of the spider, he stands in front of Rachel, who bumps into him, throwing him on the ground again.)
(Rachel tries to stop mid-swing, and the swing starts to turn from side to side)
Rachel: No, I dont want to tell you.
[Ross runs to Rachel's bedroom, knocking on the door.]
Rachel: Well youre not gonna be able to keep doing this.
Rachel: Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
Frank: Okay, so what you used to have with Rachel, is what Ive got with Alice.
Elizabeth: Okay. I didnt know he was here. (Runs over to Rachel.)
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
Ross: (To Chandler) Oh man, this is hilarious.
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
Chandler: I will explain it to her.
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
Man: Hey! The law says you have to accept any fare.
Joey: (To Phoebe) Oh and uh the guy who got the Paris trip is at table four.
Ross: Yeah, why is it staring at me? I think it knows Im talking about it. (Rachel starts to peek at the file) Dont-dont youWhWhaHey!!
Phoebe: (To Ross) So whats going on with you?
JOEY: Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in.
Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but..
Ross: No, no, we want to wait, right?
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
JOEY: When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.
[Joey and Ross go to the door, ready to leave.]
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Chandler: Im not going to let you say anything.
[Cut to Mona and Ross walking past Chandler.]
Ross: Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one!
Chandler: What are you going to do?
Dina: Joe, I tried to wait until I was 25 like you did!
Phoebe: Well, then tell him to stop staring!
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Joey: It's not right what Emily wants you to do! She is totally-(The gang enters behind Joey and Phoebe pinches him again.)-Owww!! Stop pinching me! Look, now you guys said I only had to keep my mouth shut as long as Ross was happy, right? Well he just told me that he's not entirely happy.
Monica: Yeah, I talked to you on the phone, Im the lady that got stuck with the racecar bed.
Ross: Anyway. Thats when our Mom said we were not to play football ever again.
TERRY: F.Y.I.. I've decided to pay a professional musician to play in here on Sunday afternoons. Her name is Stephanie... something. She's supposed to be very good.
Monica: Well thats a little crazy. Although I am yknow glad to hear that youre branching out on what you look at on the Internet.
Rachel: Well yknow, I dont want you to be cold.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Phoebe: Yeah! Yknow, we were really huge too, but then they had to shut us down when Regina Philange died of alcohol poisoning.
Ross: Permission to veto.
Chandler: (To Monica) You told her?!
Monica: Yeah, Im going to take a bath. Im just going to get a magazine.
(All animosity forgotten, Rachel holds the receiver out as she limps quickly over to her friend, who stands up in concern.)
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Rachel: (on the phone) Mum, please!I know you love your new lips, but I can barely understand you! Would you, please, just let me say goodnight to my daughter?
Rachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing!
The Woman: (exasperatedly) Yes! Yes! Please, just give it to me!
Joey: Well whats complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance. You go past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey; you yank his tail and boom! Youre in Paradise Pond!
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Joey: Come on you guys, we want you to know we're (His eye widen even more) very very sorry. (Monica and Chandler are now covering their eyes with their hands) (then to the others in the hall) Right guys?
Rachel: (picks it up) OK... ah, it's light... (shakes it)...it rattles... it's... (opens it) Travel Scrabble! Oooohhh, thank you! (she gives it back to him)
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
MONICA: Listen you guys, I don't mean to be a pain about this but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on. You wanna push the caps until you hear them click. [she demonstrates, Gunther starts to walk to the door] Gunther, where're you going?
Monica: It's gonna be weird to watch some actor pretending to be Ben's dad.
(Monica and Rachel begin to read from the script.)
(Joey starts to get up but stops.)
Rachel: He was a hamster! I am not going to vacuum up my baby!
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, shes returning from lunch to see Tag not doing his sit-ups.]
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
Joey: All right look, yknow how-yknow how when youre dating someone and you dont want to cheat on them, unless its with someone really hot?
Phoebe: (entering) Hello Chandler, lovely day huh? (To Monica) You!
MNCA: Sure, what? Ok, ok. [hangs up the phone] [to Rachel] Music?
Monica: Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.
Ross: (tries to snatch it from the kid) GIVE ME MY PUCK!! (but it files out of his grasp and knocks out the receptionist)
Woman: Uh, actually I find Marions views far to progressionist.
Ross: I was talking to myself! Youre going down!
CHAN: [to Phoebe] Listen, Phoebs, this is gonna be OK. [introducing Russ and Ross] Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross.
Rachel: (on phone) Hello? (Shocked that someone answered.) Uh, Rachel. (To the gang.) Great, someone is in our apartment. Call the cops!
Carol: What that woman... did. I am not doin that. Its just gonna have to stay in, thats all, everything will be the same, itll just stay in.
Chandler: Well, I think I judged her too quickly, and this time we were able to take the relationship to the next level.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are talking to Frank.]
Rachel: Oh you went to the movies by yourself?
Chandler: There has got to be a way!
Kim: So it's down to these two, Nancy I know you like this one and I think I agree. Rachel, what do you think?
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
[Scene Joey and Janines new apartment, Janine is there. Joey walks in to see Janine bent over, stretching.]
Joey: He's right, man. Please. Move on. Go to China. Eat Chinese food.
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
Chandler: I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer.
Monica: I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.
Monica: (to Janine) Youd better hope I dont see you in the hallway!! (They exit.)
Ross: YAY! (He continues the happiness with her by dancing around) quick thing, I went to talk to Mike.
Joey: (To Ross) Problem solved.
Monica: Oh no! You werent supposed to see this!
Chandler: Easy for you to say; youll be wearing a veil.
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
Chandler: Good morning everyone, it�s nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?
Amy: oh... hi.. <goes to Rachel with open arms>
(..then turn back to the desk when the surprise hits them, and Ross and Chandler whip around once more. Monica and Rachel recoil slightly.)
ROSS: Ok, then you're gonna have to understand that you're with a guy who's not gonna stop planning his future with you because he knows that we're gonna end up together and if that scares you, tough, 'cause you're gonna have to deal with that.
Gunther: (to Joey) You want anything?
Ross: Uh, Im going to take off.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Ugh, can you believe that guy!
Ross: You have to respect the sea! (Storms off.)
Joey: (walks to catch up to him) Alright, look, I'll start, OK?
Nurse: Why dont we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.)
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Joey: Yeah! I totally forgot I'm supposed to be there. I can't believe I forgot. I usually write stuff like this on my arm.
(Tank carries Pete over to the other side of the ring, and we see both Ross and Monica wince in pain.)