words in movies
Chandler: Top of the world? Dock of the bay? (He tries to think of another but can't) I'm out.
[Cut to the guy's apartment.]
Joey: That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! (Realizes he still has the underwear in his hand.) Ahh! (Throws them towards Chandler's room.) And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8?
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Phoebe: Umm, Wethering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow.
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, you should come with me! Oh yeah, then I'd have someone to sit with!
Phoebe: Yeah! Okayooh, but are you going to have time to read it?
Phoebe: This is going to be so much fun! Okay-shhh, I have to finish.
Ross: Just a sandwich? Look, I am 30 years old, I'm about to be divorced twice and I just got evicted! That sandwich was the only good thing going on in my life! Someone ate the only good thing going on in my life!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
(Shows the note to Chandler who reads it aloud.)
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Sorry I'm late, but I left late.
Rachel: Umm, well I would have to say that it's a, it's tragic love story.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) You completely stole my answer!
The Teacher: Would ya care to venture one?
Phoebe: Would you care to venture one?
Rachel: Be-because I didn't want him to think I was stupid! I mean, that was really embarrassing what happened to you!
Ross: That was the water fountain! Okay?! Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to meet my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people you can get anything you want. (Joey walks by with a cup of coffee.) Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now!
Cynthia: God, this was really fun! I've been wondering if you were going to ask me out.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
Cynthia: I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date! (She storms away and Rachel enters to confront Joey.)
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
(Chandler silently pleads with Joey to cover for them.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Joey: Well, I'm telling everyone about you! That's the only way to explain the underwear and the video camera that doesn't make me look like a pig!
Chandler: No-no, wait! There's got to be a better explanation. You can tell them you had to make an adult film for your (Thinks) adult film class.
Joey: Well, get ready to come out of the non-gay closet!
Dr. Leedbetter: Threatening letters, refusal to meet deadlines, apparently people now call you mental.
Dr. Leedbetter: We want you to speak to a psychiatrist.
Dr. Leedbetter: It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone.
Ross: (jumping to his feet in anger) What?
Dr. Leedbetter: Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.
Ross: You-you-you-you (trying to remain in control) threw my sandwich away!
[Cut to an outside shot of the museum.]
[Cut to a shot of a park.]
Ross: Uh-huh. Well, when the psychiatrist told me I had to take a leave of absence because I yelled at my boss I started to get worked up again, so he offered me a tranquilizer. And I thought was a good idea so, I took it.
Ross: I don't know. It's going to be weird not having a job for a while, but I, I definitely don't care about my sandwich.
Phoebe: (smiling) I'm sorry. It was just so funny when you started comparing Jane Eyre to Robocop.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
Rachel: Ohh. Oh, so you really wanted to learn. Yeah, y'know, Pheebs I just wanted to have fun. Ohh, you know who you should go with?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
Phoebe: All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!
Joey: What?!! (He turns around and stares at Chandler who's silently pleading with Joey to go along with it.) No I'm not!!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Joey: Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right, now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. (Offers it to everyone.)
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Chandler: Id like to go up the ladder of chance to the golden mud hut please.
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Joey: She was nothing compared to you.
(Robert leans back on the arm of the chair and allows Chandler to see up his shorts and sees little Robert. Chandler is horrified by this view.)
Joey: (to Gene) I know it could be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities but... relax, I'm just like you! (pause) Only better looking and richer.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross is about to be attacked by Paulo's cat.]
Chandler: Its your parents anniversary and youre going to talk about their dead pet?
Lady: Well, we already have one offer on it, and I think the lady upstairs is goning to make another one.
(The message is finished. Ross jumps over to the answering machine.)
RACHEL: Oh well, well thank you.� (She laughs.� He stares for a moment.)� Okay, stop.� Stop looking at me like that.� The last time that happened, (points to Ross) that happened.� (points to Emma.)
[Cut to Central Perk, Fat Monica and Rachel are on the couch.]
Ross: All right, I just wanted to check.
Elizabeth: You wanted to see me Professor Geller?
Chandler: [to Kathy] Goodnight.
Chandler: I gotta check out this hot girl! (He heads to the window but realizes something, stops, turns and points at Monica.) There she is! (He dances over to her and kisses her.)
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Monica: (starting to cry) Im a good person. And Im a good chef, and I dont deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Yknow what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is
(Joey listens to his overcoat for a second and sighs, then notices Chandler watching)
Joey: Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid!
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Chandler: Yknow what, we have to turn off the porn.
Monica: (to Julie) It's an expression.
Ross: Anyway seriously, uh just just talk to the guy, okay? And tell me how it goes. (walks towards the door until )
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Chandler: We have to bust it open, but neither of us can do it!
Rachel: I It justit took me so long to get that desk organized.
Joey: (gets very angry) Damnit Carl! (Carl goes to say something more, and Joey silences him with a grunt.)
(Rachel watches that and slowly backs out to head for home.)
Rachel: Like a little girl. I know. I know. I know. This is all my fault; I wanted him to open up. But God, I didnt know that I was gonna unleash this-this weepy, clingy, moist monster!
(He sits down next to her.)
(Everyone starts to imitate him.)
Ross: No! No sir umm, she means a lot to me. I mean, I careI-I love Rachel.
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Rachel: Well! Good night. (to Ross) Im going upstairs.
(Ross takes the tape roll she's handing him and walks to the guest room while mocking Monica's voice)
Chandler: Oh, great. We have to watch him do yoga in his underwear, but for this he closes the drapes!
Ross: And then she said it was the perfect way to say goodbye.
Joshua: Huh. Oh, boy! (Sits down next to her.) Uhh, I-I dont wear suits to work, and I bought six of them from you.
Phoebe: No, it's not supposed to be funny, it's supposed to be scary.
Rachel: Oh, okay! (She goes over to him and he feels her belly.)
(Ross throws a punch, but Joey ducks and Ross punches the pole. Ross then screams from the pain and turns to Gunther, and Gunther has a huge smile on his face.)
Kate: I dont care. Why, do you want me to care?
[Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, Joeys category is up next and the presenter walks to the podium.]
Phoebe: You’re just so mean to each other! And I don’t want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Chandler: (getting in) Okay, something to cover the smell � Oven cleaner! (sprays himself, reads label) Unscented!
Monica: What-what are you doing? Is this supposed to be funny?
Chandler: To yourself. (finishing) Hey-hey-hey, y'know what that's pretty good.
Monica: Maybe a Hello Kitty doll, the ability to walk...
Chandler: I dont see him. (To Monica) Do you see him?
Rachel: Uh Pheebs, we just actually kinda wanted to be alone.
Ross: I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Yknow, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so
Phoebe Sr: Y'know I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I just, I kinda felt all floopy, and...
Monica: (trying to be seductive) Calling Dr. Big, Dr. Big to the bed.
[Cut to inside the apartment.]
JOEY: Let me get that. (to Chandler) You got five bucks?
Rachel: What about all the women you want to bring home?
Sarah: (approaching with two filled balloons in her hands) Nobody! We put them in here! (Indicates the aforementioned balloons causing both of them to scream in delight and start drinking from the balloons.)
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
[cut to later]
Joey: Yeah, what were you trying to get her to do?!
[cut to later]
Joey: (dejected) Yeah okay. (To Chandler) Even though my tax dollars paid for this car.
[cut to later]
JOEY: How can they do this to me?
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Joey: Im just so nervous! Yknow? The callback isnt until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode!
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Joey: Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings?
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Monica: Yknow, I really have to tell Rachel, but I We just have to get it over with! Yknow, the next time we see them were just gonna tell them. Okay? Thats it.
[cut to later]
Phoebe: Come on! Let us be guys! Maybe we want to be guys!
[cut to later]
Dr. Green: What, the heart attack or sitting here talking to you?
Rachel: Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I dont wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! (starts to cry)
[cut to later]
[cut to later]
Paul: Well yeah, it usually, it takes two people to (He taps his index fingers together.)
Monica: Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?
(Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.)
[cut to later]
Ross: Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room.
[Cut to Living Room]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[cut to later]
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
[Cut to Living Room]
[Cut to Living Room]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[Cut to Living Room]
Joey: What-what are you guys doing here? I thought I told you not to come.
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
Chandler: Y'know what else I can't believe? I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left a room, I mean it's too bad they didn't see us having sex.
Joey: Its no big deal, okay? Phoebe and I talked about it. Its just a crush! Its going to go away! (Looks down) Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles! Oh!
RACHEL: [sings] And you're no friend to those with noses.
[cut to later]
[cut to later]
Cheryl: Um, would you like to come in?
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?