words in movies
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Chandler: Leave me alone! For the love of God, leave me alone!!! (Joey hangs up.)
Phoebe: Happy Holidays. Feliz Navidad. Allo, and Merry Christmas. (A man put some change in her bucket.) Ohh thank you sir. Here's some joy. (She waves her hand up and down as if she is spreading joy.)
(A man walks up and puts a dollar bill in.)
Ross: I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
Monica: Hey, what's up?
Joey: (jumping up) All right! But uh, listen, what do you say we crank it up a notch?
(Another woman walks up and throws something into the bucket.)
Danny: Oh hey, great, you're up. Rachel, this is my sister Krista. Krista, this is Rachel.
Krista: Nice to meet you. I wish you'd told me we were having company, I'd fix myself up!
Ross: How about we settle this right now! (He rips up the tickets.) There! Now, no one's going to the game. Ha-ha-ha!
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Krista: Here, I'll get it. (She grabs a napkin and tries to wipe it up. The thing that gets the rest of the gang going is that she's whipping awfully close to his crotch. In fact, she is whipping his crotch. Chandler's about to come out of his chair.)
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Phoebe: Oh whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait a minute, open up your hand; let me take a look. (The lady opens up her hand.) Quarter. Dime. Lint? Not interested in that. (She throws the lint away.) What's this? A Canadian coin? Get outta here! (The lady walks away.)
(Another man walks up with a drink in his hand, Phoebe stops him too.)
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa! No drinks near the bucket! Set it down over there and then you can make a contribution! (The guy starts to walk away with a hurt look on his face.) And you can leave the hurt bunny look over there too! (Her boss and a co-worker walk up.) Hi Bob! (The same old lady from before walks bye.) (To the old lady.) I thought I told you to get outta here!
Krista: (calling from the bathroom) Danny! Hurry up! The bath is getting cold!
Rachel: Yeah, okay, I'll see you later. (Gets up and runs from the apartment.)
Joey: No dude, Ross tore up the tickets!
Chandler: What is up?
Joey: Oh no! No-no, keep reading! The good part's coming up. Keep going.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Joey: No-no, this only took five minutes. I spent the rest of the day coming up with new, Ultimate Fireball. (Takes out a bowling ball and a propane torch.) Ha-ha!
Joey: (Reading the scene set up.) Okay, it's a typical New York City apartment. Two girls are just hanging out.
David: Yes I can. Because if I go it means I have to break up with you, and I can't break up with you.
Monica: I cannot believe you broke up with her just like that.
Joey: Oh umm, my big scene is coming up. Big scene coming up.
Joey: Ohh, well, thats ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. Its up here on some hook..and smells different.
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
Ross: Yeah. (Gets up, but then pauses when he realizes what that meant.)
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
Monica: Chandler, this is crazy! What did you even say to him! "Come up, meet my wife! Give us your sperm"!
Ross: Great! Uh, let me take this up for you. (The box hes holding.)
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Ross: (Giggling) Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. (Picking up a piece of bread and covering his mouth.) Me, neither. Ive had a really good time too, you know. (Putting the bread down.)
Joey: I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up. Person named Wiener, God that kills me. (Laughs)
Rachel: Oh! Right! Yeah! Hold on, I'll be just clean up in here a little bit! Hello Gavin
Monica: What are you being such a weenie for? So he has a Barbi, big deal. You used to dress up like a woman.
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Chandler: All right! Ten buck! Fork it over! Cough it up! Pay the piper! Gimme it.
(Cue up the music as they move in and kiss. This time I think it's Perry Como, but I'm not sure. It's Everybody loves somebody, sometime! Everybody falls in love somehow! Something in your kiss, just told me, my sometime, is now!)
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Emily: Oh, no-no-no, thats not rude! Its perfectly in keeping with a trip that Ive already been run down by one of your wiener carts, and been strip-searched at John F. Kennedy Airport, apparently to you people, I look like someone whos got a balloon full of cocaine stuffed up their bum.
Rachel: No! No, of course not. No. Thats why I brought it up. (Pause) They didnt have any sodas?
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Ross: Oh, I uh, just came by to pick up my skull. Well, not mine, but...Susan: Come in.
(A man sits down next to Phoebe and lights up a cigarette.)
Rachel: This bench, its hollow! I cant believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!
Chandler: Yes! Remember? Right before we cut the cake, I went up to you and I said
Doug: Well, maybe I'll bring it out and have Monica stick her finger in it. That oughta sweeten it up, huh? (Once again, with the laugh.)
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
Will: So you knocked her up but youre not gonna marry her. Dude! (Wants another high-five and Ross ignores him.) Anybody?
Chandler: We cant do that thats insane. I mean A he could wake up and B yknow, lets go for it.
Rachel: Y'know honey, umm, as uh, as flattered as I am that uh, you saw me first, uhh, I just, I-I don't think we should be cranking anything up.
Phoebe: (sits up) Oh, ew!
[Scene: Mr. Treegers apartment, Joey is there to suck up.]
Ross: Well, but aren't you pissed at him?! I mean this guy abandoned you! I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger! (Getting worked up) I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, "Yo, dad! You and me outside right now!" (Calming down.) I kinda scared myself.
Anxious Wedding Guest: (rushing up) Thats my car!
Joey: Wow! (Tearing up) Well, uh Hey! Im really happy for you guys! Congratulations! (Kisses Monica on the cheek) See you later. (Starts for the door on the verge of tears as Monica stops him.)
Ross: All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.]
Joey: Yeah but we wont be able to like get up in the middle of the night and have those long talks about our feelings and the future.
[Behind them, Joey goes up to the bandleader and interrupts the song.]
Director: Oh no! You get up there and do that again exactly like that!
Monica: Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesnt show up by then, then just come on home.
Phoebe: Okay, whatever. Yknow what? I dont have time have time to convince you because hes only here for four hours, and Im gonna go see him! (Gets up and leaves.)
Rachel: If we broke up, and I lost you...
Ross: (To Joey) Sir Limps-A-Lot, I came up with that.
[Scene: Hallway outside Chandler and Joey's apartment. Eddie walks up.]
Rachel: (Disgustedly she goes and tries to pick up the couch. Much to her amazement, she is successful.) Oh. Oh! I can do it!
CHANDLER: Oh yeah, your uh, name came up in a uh, conversation that terrified me to my very soul.
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
MONICA: Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.
Rachel: Well honey, then why don't you break up with one of them?
Joey: Sure I do. (holding up his own dessert) Coule?
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
[Rachel seems touched. She pauses for a moment, then picks up the phone and starts to dial. Cut to Ross at his apartment.]
RACHEL: Oh, what a load of crap. That is a dot. Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lily, you wuss?' OK, Phoebe, that is not a tattoo, this is a tattoo. [she bends over and bears her tattoo right when Ross returns]
(Seeing Rachels apparently okay with this, the rest of the gang jumps up to congratulate Ross and Emily on their pending nuptials.)
Phoebe: Wow! See, and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.
(She holds up a black t-shirt with "FBI - Female Body Inspector" on the front.)
Chandler: If you said, "Big lima bean, bubbling up." Would she understand the difference?
Phoebe: Hey, look who's up! How do you feel?
Rachel: Up!
Ross: Yes, yes I am, one of the many things Im feeling. Well.... (picks up her coat)
[Scene: Central Perk, Robert is picking up Phoebe for a date.]
(Joey picks up and turns on a hair dryer.)
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Hey, can you send somebody up and down 76 and check every rest stop, and, and also 93? (listens) Okay! (hangs up) Yeah, no they dont do that.
Ross: Oh great! (They get up to dance and Ross is interrupted by a little girl.)
Joey: We've been stood up. (sniffles) And we want our free crab cakes.
Joey: And-and you wont blame us for any damage? (Gives Phoebe a thumbs up.)
(Just as they are about to pull away, a big, fat, bald guy pulls up in the exact same car as Ross and stops next to him.)
PHOEBE: Hey Ryan, what's up?
Joey and Monica: (jumping up from behind the couch) Merry Christmas!!
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
(she knees him in the crotch. He jumps up a bit)
MONICA: Over here dad. [he pans over and we see a torso taking up the whole screen]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Joey enter having just woken up.]
Chandler: (standing up) Im up! Im up, Ive gotten up now! Anybody ah, want anything?
(Phoebe gets up, holds the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Monica: (holding up a glove) Oh, an old glove?
(The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)
Ross: You know, I think that�s a good idea�our babysitter just pounded in another Chardonnet. (both get up) Bye, y�guys.
(Monica looks at Rachel, who gives her the thumbs up.)
Phoebe: (walking up) Whats up? (Rachel hands her the note and she reads it.) Tell Monica Im sorry. (Pause) Tell her yourself!
Rachel: Well, well I can up with it!
MR. GELLER: [going downstairs] Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining. . . oh no. [Chip has shown up and the four are leaving]
Rachel: Good. Although yknow, he-hes a private guy. Yknow, I wish I could get him to open up a little bit, share some feelings.
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Joey: Someone you didnt make up!
Mrs. Bing: Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. (They both sit down) Well, I think we're ready for some tequila.
Monica: Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Ross: Oh, wake up!
Chandler: They said it could be up to a year.
Joey: (getting up) Dude, I'm telling ya! I'm fine! (He tries to take a step and falls flat on his face.)
(This gorgeous woman in spandex walks up)
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
Monica: (on phone) Uh sorry, wrong number. (Hangs up)
Monica: Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. (Chandler, who was almost asleep again, sits up straight in bed in an instant and can't believe what he just heard.)