words in movies
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Chandler: That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.
Chandler: I made that joke up.
Chandler: (jumping up from his chair) Hey, Joey, Playboy printed my joke.
Chandler: Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
Joey: I know! Yeah, but, look I can handle it. All right? Look, I can listen to the radio, huh? And Ross gave me this great book (holds up the Playboy magazine).
Chandler: (picks up the phone) All right, you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?
Joey: Oh, you guys, with this joke. I gotta say, I know I cracked up, but Im not even sure I got it.
(He and Chandler crack up.)
(He and Ross crack up again. Joey just sits there)
Gunther: Yeah, that-that Chandler cracks me up.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
Joey: (to a table of strangers) You guys need anything, cause Im heading up there.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Joey: Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour.
Ross: Well each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truthme.
Chandler: So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steves doctors name is Doctor Muppy. So I said, Doctor Monkey? And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up. (He slams his feet up on the table to emphasize his point.)
Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry. (Gets up and moves.)
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Chandler: Yknow, I-I could see how this could happen, y'know youre up there every night, youre naked, touching, kissing.
Rachel: Chandler! Chandler, please, I have to get you locked up back the way you were, I am sooo gonna lose my job, shes very private about her office. Now I know why.
Ross: So when I came in here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again, you were engaged to my best friend.
Phoebe: You make up songs?
Ross: Well then wed be in a lot of trouble, you dont know where any countries are. (Rachel glares at him.) Okay. (He goes over to the desk followed by Rachel.) Uh, say would you umm Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have (Handing her some money) opened up?
Joey: (sitting up again) I'm telling you, Rach, Charlie is not right for me!
(Just as they start to get up, Joey walks in.)
Rachel: What's up?
Monica: (steps up and points at her) All right! You and me! Lets go! Right now!
Monica: You know what? I take back what I said before. You keep playing at the restaurant, because with your music driving people inside, my bar sales are going up like crazy.
CHANDLER: Listen can you guys uh, speak up, it's harder for us to hear you when you lower your voice.
Rachel: (she's sad) Ow. I don't want him to wake up alone! I should go to the hospital!
Joey: Yknow what I think? I think somebodys got a little crush on Casey. How bout I fix you two up? What do you think?
(Chandler wakes up and looks a bit confused when he finds that he has a pacifier in his mouth.)
Ross: (running up) Hey! Sorry I kept you waiting so long.
Monica: Okay, I gotta go. (gets up)
Chandler: God, its great to catch up! I cant believe how long its been!
Phoebe: Okay, so maybe you dont get her a ring. Maybe you-maybe you do something different. Yknow? Maybe you get her an engagement bracelet, yknow? Or an engagement tiara? Orooh! An engagement Revolutionary War musket! (Picks one up from the display in the corner.
Phoebe: (Jumping up) Yeah?
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
Chandler: ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! (Passes it to Joey.)
Joey: Yeah-yeah right. Thats okay. Thats fine. Thats uh, pretty much what I was expecting. So uh, its no big deal. All right? I think Im gonna go. (Stands up.)
Monica: Yeah, but the important thing to know about us, is how much we would care for this little baby. (holds up the sonogram)
Phoebe: Why? Just 'cause you're too lazy to get up off your touchie?
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
Erica: (to Chandler) Being a doctor must take up a lot of time.
Phoebe: Quite an interesting turn of events, suddenly its my book to the rescue, huh? (Reading her book) Ooh, very interesting. Yeah, well this certainly clears things up.
Joey: I think I left a donut up here.
Chandler: You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. (holds his hand a couple of inches in front of Joey's face) Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! (Joey flings some dip onto Phoebe's dress)
Ross: All right. (Gets up.) I'll uh, I'll see you later, okay?
Ross: Youre gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!! (Holds up two.)
Joey: All right, Im gonna go! (Gets up and heads for the door.)
Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?
Monica: (getting up) All right, Im gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that?
Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan.
Joey: (on phone) Hey! Did Chandler show up yet?
Gunther: (cleaning up the table) (to Robert) Hey buddy, this is a family place, put the mouse back in the house.
Monica: Ok, three kinds of potatoes coming up.
Janice: (entering and singing) Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. (laughs hysterically) Good morning Joey.
[Scene: Rachel's office, Rachel and Gavin there, phone rings, Gavin picks it up]
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Rachel: Bye. (She gets up to leave but is stopped by Joey)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Ross enters with his all his hair sticking straight up.]
Janice: (Ross is still taking their photo) Oh, I'm gonna blow this one up, and I'm gonna write 'Reunited' in glitter.
[Cut to Marcel walking along a hallway. He notices a banana on the floor and picks it up. The hand of an unseen person grabs him and carries him away. Then cut to Ross and Rachel on the street outside.]
Rachel: Well I can do whatever I want! I made her! (Waking Emma up.) Come on little girl, hi!
Chandler: We cant tell him, you cant go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his.... stuff.
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Phoebe: That is correct! Yes, youre supposed to take all of that stuff and put it in a little box in your mind and then lock it up tight.
Morse: You see, thats why I did so bad on this test. Im having a hard time concentrating. When youre up there (Points to the podium) and youre teaching and your face gets all serious you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater
Phoebe: You mean the time you broke the ketchup bottle and cleaned it up with Monicas guest towels?
Ross: I'm gonna have to give him up.
[Scene: The Porsche, Joey is finishing up washing the car and is talking to a guy about the car.]
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.)
FRIEND: She's probably not even very pretty, just young enough so that everything is still pointing up. [Monica folds her arms over her breasts]
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
Rachel: I woke up today with the biggest smile on my face.
Joey: Shut up!
Ross: Oh, you're... (gives up)
Joey: Hey, let's go look at it! (They both jump up.)
Joey: "Whered you grow up," its so simple!
Ross: No, Im not gonna pick them up.
(Ross stands up.)
Chandler: Clearly I did not start drinking enough at the start of the meal. (Starts to make up for lost time and takes a big swig of his drink.)
Chandler: No, I mean, come on, seriously think about it, we get married, were up at the altar and Im like this. (Makes a bored face.)
(Monica gets up, looks in Rachel's purse.)
Phoebe: Okay so, well just come up with some kind of signal if its going well you can take off.
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
Rachel: Oh, time's up.
(Monica sits, Rachel gets up.)
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
Chandler: (on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!
Monica: I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.
Monica: You bet that Id screw up?! So all that stuff about hiring me because I was good was
Dr. Green: You think you can knock up my daughter and then not marry her?! Im gonna kill you!!
Monica: You didnt dress up either?!
Ross: Yknow what? Shed-shed love this. (Picks up a model of the Saturn V rocket, thats the one that took man to the moon.) Uh, its an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
Monica: All right, listen up. There is usually only one dress in each size so when they open those doors, fan out. Now, this is what youre looking for! (Holds up a picture of it.) Memorize it! When you locate the dress, blow on these. All right? (She passes out whistles to them.) Three short blasts, when you hear it. Come running.
Chandler: No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up.
Ross: So I guess you bought that book after we broke up huh?
Joey: Yeah, you're gonna go up to her and say, "Here's your egg back, I'm returning your egg."
Phoebe: (gets up and starts to leave) We want the last six years back!!
Chandler: What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy, it's time for you to swoop in!
[Scene: The beach house, Rachels bedroom. She is finishing up writing something as Ross walks through the door.]
Rachel: Okay. All right. (Gets up.) Honey listen. When I tell you what Im about to tell you, I need you to remember that we are all here for you and that we love you.
Rachel: Uh, we are here to break up with you.
(The player stands up and smiles. Showing that he has no front teeth.)
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
Chandler: That is so not... That is so not... That... Oh, shut up!
[Scene: Allesandros, continued from earlier. The other waiters are gone and Monica is confronting Joey about his not speaking up.]
Joey: Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! (The dry cleaner doesnt remember) Okay, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? (Holds his picture up in front of his face.) Huh? Okay eh-ah-anyway, Im ready to go back up on the wall Im the star of a new TV show.
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Ross: Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because its my sister. But, uh, uh yknow actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that.
Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!
[Time lapse, they have set up a little assembly line for diaper changes. Phoebe wipes, Chandler adds the powder, begrudgingly, and Monica puts the diaper on.]
Ross: Oh, I uh, hope you don't mind, I kinda uh, jazzed it up a little. Check this out. (He plays the greeting, and We Will Rock You starts to play and Ross's voice comes over it.) We will, we will, call you back!
Ross: Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.