words in movies
Phoebe: (reading): Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however... oh... (crumples up letter)
Monica: (reading): OK... Dear Ms. Green... yeah... yeah... yeah... No. (crumpes up letter)
Joey: Shut up!
(Microwave timer goes off. Monica gets up.)
Ross: Oh, you're... (gives up)
Chandler: OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards.
Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave)
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
(Ross gets up from the table.)
Joey: Alright, well, I'm gonna order a pizza. (gets up)
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
Rachel: Well, well, well, hop back in bucko, cause I got four sixes! (lays down cards) I won! I actually won! Oh my God! Y'know what? (collects chips) I think I'm gonna make a little Ross pile. (holds up a chip) I think that one was Ross's, and I thinkohthat one was Ross's. Yes! (Starts singing): Well, I have got your money, and you'll never see it...
(Ross stands up.)
Ross: Come on, show them to me. (reaches for her cards, Rachel covers them up)
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me. (covers up phone; to Ross) It's about the job.
Rachel: Barbara! Hi, how are you? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) No, I understand. Yeah. Oh, oh, come on, no, I'm fine. Don't be silly. Yeah... oh, but you know, if-if anything else opens up, pleaHello? Hello? (hangs up phone, very depressed)
Ross: No, I fold. (lays cards down, and gets up)
(Ross thinks it over, finally sits down and picks up his cards.)
(Monica gets up, looks in Rachel's purse.)
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Rachel: Oh, time's up.
(Monica sits, Rachel gets up.)
(Monica picks up a glass to take a drink, everyone ducks as though she was about to throw it.)
Ross: Do you realise we almost made it ten years without that coming up?
(Notices Ross looking at him and stops. Ross gives him his 'quiet down' maneuver. Okay, this may take a while to explain, so center this on you screen and place your hands about a foot apart with your fingers together and pointing straight up. Now take you fingers and point them at the other hand and making a 90-degree angle with each of your hands and the first knuckle counting up from the wrist. Now take your right hand, no your other right (that was for the dyslexics), and lower it a couple of inches, so that the fingers are pointing at your wrist. Now take your arms and keeping the elbows bent and your hands in front of you spread out your arms, kinda like making a bird's wing. Now hunch your shoulders over and move you hands up and down as if you are trying to tell some one to turn it down. That's Ross 'quiet down' maneuver. Well, there is an accompanying face, but I don't want to try and describe it as well.)
Phoebe: Umm, no thank you. (She gets up and moves to the couch. They were at a table previously.)
Joey: Whats up with Gene?
(Rachel gets up to the jetway.)
Phoebe: Thank you. (she tears up the gift certificate)
Ross: Ive gotta go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard! (He hangs up and runs out.)
Rachel: Whoa-whoa, theres two living rooms? God, growing up here, this place mustve been a real babe magnet.
Monica: Honey, cover it up with the boat!
Rachel: You didnt break up with that fireman?
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Monica: Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel! (Marcel runs off and Luisa runs after him. Monica goes to check up on Phoebe) Are you okay?
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
Ross: Yeah. Look if-if shes gonna end up with somebody else, the truth is she couldnt find a better guy. So
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, well your friends are in violation of it. Ive been a nice guy up until now, but uh, I dont need this grief. Im gonna call the landlord and tell him that Monica is illegally subletting here grandmothers apartment. Your friends are outta here pal.
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
Joey: I have an audition, but Ill definitely hook up with you later. Where are you gonna be around noon?
Chandler: (on phone) Hey, its me. I know you cant stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought Id try and apologize over the phone. All I (Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.)
Joey: A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off!
Rachel: (on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Tag: Thank you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
Ross: What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person whos going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes what he said and exits disgustedly.)
Chandler: (gets up) (softly) Wish me luck.
Chandler: It came up.
Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I dont want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
Rachel: (gets up from the sofa and moves to the kitchen but Joey blocks her way) Oh, sorry... Oops, sorry.
(David puts his napkin up to his mouth and starts laughing at his own line. Matt notices him after a while and starts laughing as well.)
Monica: I know!! (calls him) (on phone) Chip? Hi! Its Monica. (listens) Kay. (listens) Kay. (listens) Okay. (listens) Okay, good-bye. (hangs up) Oh my God, we just had the best conversation!! (goes into her room as Rachel enters)
(They both step up onto the altar and she notices the rabbi.)
Joey: You wanna see what I got? (He gets up to empty out his pockets) Okay? Ive got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey!
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
Joey: You hung up on the pizza place? I dont hang up on your friends.
Chandler: Come on Chloe! Finish up with your customer first. Come on Chloe! Come on Chloe!!
Monica: Ohh Oh, thats okay I hate when people come back to complement the chef. Like I have nothing better to do! So whats up?
Joey: Oh (To Chandler) Can you imagine if I hadnt left you that last one? You two mightve never gotten together. Ooh-ooh! Could you imagine if I sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna?! Its like it was in the stars!
Rachel: She didn't hang up either!
Joey: All right, I have one question. What is the deal with this? (Imitates Ross's 'quiet down' maneuver, but does move his hands up and down he just flaps his hands as if he's waving good-bye.)
Joey: (in obvious pain) Hey! So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions for me tomorrow and Ill have my health insurance back in no time.
Rachel: (waking up) Ehhh, aw! (pause). Well, that's new!
Chandler: I messed up. Okay? Im sorry, I really messed up.
(They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.)
Monica: Then you two can, can sneak into the cockpit, and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in (Ross looks at her.) Ive been watching too much porn.
Monica: No-no, its not okay! Its not! I mean you were just Youre so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Yknow Im just gonnaI, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and I am going to do anything you want in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
[Scene: The librarys Paleontology section, Ross is patrolling as a couple walks up.]
[Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.]
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Ross: We were on a break!!! Okay!! (grabs the phone) We were, we were..., (calms down) yeah. Where are you? Ill find you. (hangs up)
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
Monica: Wow! It took you all night to come up with that plan?!
(Joey gets up and heads for the door. After a pause Ross decides to join him.)
Bob: I just had a meeting, I was actually hoping to get transferred up here, but I just found out its not gonna happen. Apparently somebody thinks Im not eleventh floor material. Say uh, who the hell is this Chandler?
Phoebe Sr.: Well, Im so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didnt even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I dont know, youre here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you.
Monica: Oh wait, you know what, I got it, I got it, pretend like you just woke up, okay, that will throw her off. Be sleepy.
Monica: Look what I found in the drawer... (Chandler looks up from his book.) And you said I'd never wear this...
Ross: Still I could tell. She was into me. (Joey rolls his eyes.) Well, why dont you set us up?
Joey: Well maybe we just take that one away. (Picks it up and throws it away.)
Rachel: Oh!... Oh and Emma, look at your stuffed animals lined up so neatly!
Chandler: Oh yeah, yeah! Look what I got, look what I got. (holds up a pen) See, she's fully dressed, right?
Phoebe: Oh. Oooh! Ooh! Ooh! (She stands up and starts to dance around) Ooh! My butt cheek is waking up! Oooh! Ooh!
Rachel: No-no! Dont dance for me! Please? Dont! (She gets up to yell at her friends.) What is the matter with you guys?
Kate: Or maybe, maybe he could grab her, and, and, and, and lift her up.
Rachel: Well, uh something about having second thoughts about the wedding and did you guys make a mistake breaking up and uh, she wants you to call her.
Ross: (stands up) Thats great! Are you happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form!
Chandler: Then free as a bird. Whats up?
Phoebe: Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Check it out! Cup hat! (Points to her hat.) Cup banner! Cup chandelier! And the thing that started it all, the cup! (Holds up one.)
Ross: (getting up, upset) I'm calling Mom.
Monica: Come on! Surprise her! Show up at her doorstep! Dont let her go without a fight!
Phoebe: Yes! Now, she feels terrible! She really wants to make up! You gotta find her.
Monica: Okay. (They both jump up to head for there room, but Monica stops.) But wait, we cant. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, were supposed to have lunch.
Rachel: No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesnt want to buy my baby! I made that up!
Chandler: What are you talking about? The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet. And then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on the...(Tries to rest his feet on the coffee table but they won't reach) OK, OK, here's what we do, we just uh, move the couch closer to the coffee table.
Rachel: Shut up that was my friend Melissa from college.
Chandler: Because... that way... we can pick up where we left off.
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
Rachel: Which you're not, because you've totally hung up on him!
Joey: Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour.
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it. He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.)
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to button up his shirt)
(Rachel decides not to give up that easily and follows him to his apartment and bangs on the door, which he opens.)
Janice: Oh. Well then shut me up. (Does the laugh.)
Janice: Well then ask yourself this. Why do you think we keep ending up together? New Year's? Who invited who? Valentine's? Who asked who into whose bed?
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
Chandler: Okay, well he totally screwed up the punch line. Y'know, its supposed to be arrghh-eh og-errigh.
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage and everything was fine until... (The flashback shows Paulo lying face down on the massage table and slowly moving his hands up Phoebe's legs and grabbing her butt.)
Phoebe: All right. We're gonna take Clunkers to Rosss. We'll be back in a minute. (Gets up with Monica to do so.)
Joey: No, no, no, no! Hes fine! Look, look, look! (picks up the ball) Heres your ball! Get your ball! Get your ball! (he throws the ball and it bounces right next to the dog) Get your ball! My God, what have I done to you, huh? I broke the dog! Pheebs, I broke the dog!
Rachel: Oh Ah! (Sees a big stuffed gorilla) Oh my gosh theres something every mother needs, a giant stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment! What are people think (Reads the card) Oh you guys I love it.
Joey: Oh wellHey-hey! Maybe, maybe uh, maybe this is a good thing. Yknow? Itll-itll give you a chance to shake things up, play different characters. Youre so talented.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his doorbell is ringing and hes running to answer it while doing up his pants.]
Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)
Monica: Wow! Look at this! (Picking up a shirt.) I cant believe I even fit into this shirt! (She holds it up and it reads: Tyrannosaurus Ross.) (She turns it around and looks at it.) Oh, this is yours. (Hands it to Ross.)
ROSS: Rach, come on, open up. Rach, come on, come on, Rach. You got to give me another chance.
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
Phoebe: So how is this for our big double date tonight? (She is all dressed up)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)
Rachel: Did-did you come up here to work on that term paper or something?