words in movies
Monica: Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
Joey: Yep. Hey, what do you say we make it a double feature?
Joey: Oh, well we watch it a second time and its Die Hard 2!
Ross: Joey, we just saw it!
Ross: We fell asleep! That is all.
Chandler: (pause) No, were still together. Yeah we went out for two summers, and then I broke up with her.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
Rachel: Oh, come on! This is crazy! Cant we just flip a coin?!
Rachel: Okay. Okay fine, yknow what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. (Ross enters.) (In a sexy voice.) Hiiiii, Ross! Sweetie.
Joey: Uh hey look uh Ross, look I think we need to talk about before.
Ross: No! No we dont!
Joey: Yes we do! Now look, that was the best nap I ever had!!
Ross: We cant do it again.
Joey: Okay, all right, this is how its going to work. Were gonna give you hypothetical maid of honor situations and you will be scored on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the highest.
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Rachel: Ohh, wait a minute, we havent pre
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
Rachel: No! Yknow what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculousWere gonna flip a coin! (Phoebe gasps.) All right?! (She flips the coin.) Heads! (Looks at the coin and grunts in disgust.)
Phoebe: Thats ridiculous Rachel, we were all babies once. (Rachel looks at her.) Oh, you mean today.
Phoebe: Well, we just decided that Rachel is gonna be your maid of honor.
Monica: (gasps) Ohh, wow! Thats great! (Rachel and Monica hug.) Oh wow! We really have to start planning! I have, I have a lot of really specific ideas! We should probably get together like four times per week. You can come over to my place; well get together before work! What do you say, 6:30, my place? Im so excited! (Runs out leaving Rachel completely stunned and Phoebe laughing.)
Phoebe: Well, yeah. Y'know, we were best friends, ever since we were little, our Moms worked on the barge together.
Rachel: (goes over and hits her head on the post) Look at that! (repeats) Look at that! (repeats) We all do it. (repeats) Okay, Im stopping now.
Phoebe: Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachels sisters cabin. (Chandler goes back to the window to smoke again.)
Monica: Man, this sucks! Yknow if Mom and Dad dont see us on TV after we made them so jealous, I mean, whos gonna be the losers then?
Phoebe: Relax, its not like were forking.
Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?
(We hear Phoebes muffled voice through the ceiling.)
Phoebe: Ok, so now we need, um sage branches and the sacramental wine.
Janice: Ooh, that decides it then. I was on the fence. But knowing that you two would be our neighbors? Ah! now we have to get it! (Chandler and Monica are utterly shocked) Ellen, we're going to talk numbers. (Grabs Ellen by her elbow and pulls her outside)
Emily: Dont you point your pants at me! (She throws them on the floor.) We have no choice! Anywhere thats half-decent wouldve be booked months ago, Ross dont you understand? This is our wedding Im talking about.
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
Ross: Hey, do you guys think that if all those things happened, wed still hang out?
Phoebe Sr.: No, Im not done. I-I-I just want you to know that I, the reason I didnt look you up was, well I was afraid that youd react, just well like, the way, the way youre reacting right now, and cant we just, y'know, start from here?
Joey: I dont know. I guess theres just always been this distance yknowI mean we both try to pretend its not there, but it is.
Ross: Oh yeahNoYoure welcome. Well talk about it later.
Rachel: ...the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know? I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater. Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
Chandler: Okay, I don't think we can turn anymore!
Chandler: Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one cant get mad.
Phoebe: Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec?
Ross: No-no, we talked about it. We dont want to know. All we care about is that its happy and healthy.
Monica: We didnt get anything for anyone.
JOEY: I'm movin' out like we talked about.
Ross: Well, we-we said wed just do it that one time but, but now I think she may wanna start things up again.
Chandler: See Joe, we want you to tell stories but yknow, romantic stories. Nice stories.
Monica: Okay, now we just need something borrowed!
Joey: I know! Im sorry! The guys drunk, they wont let me go until we get this.
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
Chandler: Yeah, we got, um-hmm.
Monica: Oh honey, were close now but you-you wouldnt believe the years of-of nugies, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies, and....(Phoebe shakes her head like she doesnt understand) Thats where the waistband actually goes over your head.
Phoebe: Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I.
Chandler: Not once did we do that.
Monica: (gasps) We had a characturist!
Monica: Yknow, maybe its best that we never got to do it again.
Rachel: Oh, I know. Hey, yknow what we never did? (Ross looks at her.) Oh no, not that. (Ross nods okay.) We uh, we never had bonus night!
Chandler: Look, we cant stay in here forever.
Chandler: Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say?
Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly..
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
Monica: All right, umm, were not gonna really keep it this way though.
[We fade to some flashback scenes.]
Jamie: I think we have an answer.
Woman: Sorry. We didnt hear you; were on our honeymoon.
Joey: Well, I think we all learned something.
Joey: Uhh, because I'm shooting a scene right now. Yeah, I uh, I play a gladiator. Uh, y'know what? Hold-hold on a second. (To no one in particular) Can we cut? Yeah, my-my friends are here, I'm gonna take a little break.
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
RICHARD: Well, I'm confused. I thought we shared time.
Chandler: Well, I suppose Id have to say you!! But, what if were watching a movie in here?
Ross: What, that we had a baby? Come on lets give him a little credit, although, he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier.
Monica: Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies?
Monica: What about the second minister we meet with? I kinda liked him.
Chandler: Yeah, I don't know why we hang out with married couples more often.
Rachel: Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, yknow. I mean theres no way Joeys gonna make it in time. So Im gonna through the hotel and see if theres any other weddings going on.
Phoebe: Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good!
Chandler: You guess I'm right? When we stayed at that bed and breakfast, you wouldn't have sex with me because you thought a deer was staring through the window.
Ross: You know what, I'm sure your wish is gonna come true, but, you guys - just in case, maybe a genie will come out if we rub this lamp! (rubs lamp, stops because it's very hot) Ah!! That thing gets hot!!
Joey: Yeah, were gonna be fine! Get out!
Chandler: Well, I then guess Im going to Yemen! Im going to Yemen! (To this old woman also going to Yemen.) When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you?
Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, andoh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well!
Will: God we were lame back then. Do you remember how into dinosaurs we were?
Phoebe: Can you believe this? (Rachel exhales in amazement.) We were waiting for a hot guy and then an even hotter one shows up!
Chandler: Wait a minute, its perfect. We got a lot of time to kill and were in a building thats full of beds!
Monica: When girls hang out, we dont have pillow fights in our underwear. (Chandler gets a hurt look on his face.) Im sorry. We do. We do. I dont know why I said that.
Monica: Havent we made this decision?
Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. You know, what was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window)
Chandler: Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Joey: Its London, baby! All right, the hotels here. (Points to the map.) Wait. No, we wanna go No. I know. (Sets the map down.) Im gonna have to go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)
Joey: Look, we were way out of line, we totally support you.
Joey: All right, uh, weve got a little bit of a problem here. These people are my friends; you cant treat them that way.
Mrs. Bing: As I recall when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Joey: (his mood changes instantly) Just when I thought we could be friends. (he leaves the room)
Ross: Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas and we got drunk
Announcer: Get a load of this... She's proposing to him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family. (people are laughing, while Mike still seems bewildered)
JOEY: Okay, what have we always wanted to do together?
Monica: Or, it could mean that-that you saw Chandler and me together and we y'know were being close and stuff and then you just want to have that with someone too.
Monica: We are not friends with Phoebe anymore.
Joey: She didn't have a birthday while we were going out.
Monica: Well, if you wanna get a drink later we can.
Monica: Im sick of Japanese. Were not going there.
Joey: Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out.
PHOEBE: We just have to really, really, really, not let stuff like money get--is that a hickey?
Phoebe: No! Hey, we're not leaving until we get paid! I don't know who she thinks she is! Enough is enough! (Phoebe goes into the living room.) Hey, widow?
Chandler: Expect it in 4-6 weeks. (She starts to leave.) Umm, hey, umm, Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves.
Monica: Well, were trying to find someone to perform our wedding and theyre all either boring or annoying or yknow, cant stop staring at the ladies. (Points to her chest.)
Chandler: I had too okay?! Were getting married! Married couples cant keep secrets from one another!
Rachel: (entering from her room) Honey, we have to go. Our reservations are at 8:00.
Chandler: (following Monica) We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didnt think we could make it. (He goes to put his hands on Monicas shoulders but for some reason can quite complete the action and pulls back.)
Issac: Aw, no problem dude. Y'know we got to look out for each other. Were the same, you and me.
Rachel: Okay. Umm, what should we do for the theme?
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
Rachel: Ohh, okay, Im sorry. Youre right. Yknow what? We absolutely can stay married, because I was under the impression that the boxes were far away from each other. All right, look, just please, take a moment here and think about what youre asking of me.
Rachel: Wow, y'know if Joey and Chandler walked in right now, we could make a fortune! (Monica is straddling Rachel and holding her arms down. In a rather risqu� pose, at least for primetime TV.)
Rachel: Dont worry, were just gonna search here for an hour, them were gonna go over to Joeys and search, OK?
Monica: No. I think we learned that from the sugarlips incident. I'm gonna get some tea.
Joey: (angrily) Yeah? Maybe we should talk about that for a little while!
Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
Monica: Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar?
Tag: Then we went to this bar and he hooked us up with all these women!