words in movies
Rachel: Ive never interviewed anyone before. Ive actually never had anyone work for me before. Although when I was a kid, we did have a maid, but this is-this isnt the same thing.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is sitting on the couch when some unknown guy comes in and sits in their easy chair.]
Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, were on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
Joey: So! Stryker Remoray huh? When do you want me to start?
Chandler: Yknow when I said that because were getting married that we should share everything and not have any secrets?
[Scene: Rachels office, shes looking at a picture of Tag when he knocks and enters.]
Tag: I got asked out twice today when I was at lunch by guys.
Mr. Geller: I remember when we first got engaged.
Rachel: Yknow, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? (He starts laughing.) Tag! Im serious! This isnt funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today!
Rachel: Monica, what did you mean before when you said you didnt want to talk to anyone, especially me?
Ursula: Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died.
Ross: I dont know. I mean I-I guess I could. Its just that we didnt really end things such good terms. And if I go over there Id be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up, jump up my own ass and die. (Walks away.)
Pete: I cant until Im the ultimate fighter. I will do it. Im telling you, the day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight, me or Superman. Now, Im not saying I could beat Superman, but y'know, kids are stupid.
Chandler: Yknow when we move in together, can I get a gumball machine?
Chandler: Yeah. I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey.
Rachel: All right, Ill-Ill take it again when I get home.
Ross: Alright, we�ll just, uh, see when you get here. Bye. (hangs up) Huh, that was my mom, she�s stuck in terrible traffic.
Dr. Roger: Yknow, its funny, but when we were studying communicable diseases
Chandler: Yes it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer!
Monica: Gotcha. When do we tell them about this?
Janice: Although, maybe just... one last moment of weakness... (she kisses Chandler flat on the mouth. Chandler squirms. When she's finished, he looks at her lovingly but uneasily.) Goodbye Chandler Bing. (She leaves)
Joey: Like when I want a job, I go to an audition and if Im the best of the people they see, they give me the part.
Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
Phoebe: (Trying to get up.) Wait!! Where are you going?! What are you doing?! No!! Wait!! (Not able to get up.) God!! Why am I always pregnant when she does that?!
PHOEBE: Just, you know, long time ago. Well, when men used to tell women what to do - a lot. And then there was suffrage, which is a good thing but is sounds horrible. Do you want to get this tattoo?
Joey: Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Monica: Ahh, Pete, the other day when you said you needed to talk, umm, just so I know, is it good news or bad news.
Mike: No, no! What I mean is, I hate going back to my apartment now... and partly because I live above a known crack den but... mostly because when I'm there, It's just, I really miss you. So.. do you want to move in together?
Chandler: Yeah, that's when if you get the babies out by the end of the month, they give you 2% financing.
Joey: Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear..
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
Monica: Oh I love taking limos when nobody died!
Kim: I don't know which one, but I do know I need a cigarette. So what do you say we take a break, we go outside, and we'll figure this out when we come back?
Hayley: What! When?
Rachel: (touched) Gunther... Oh... I love you too. Probably not in the same way, but I do. And, and when I'm in a café, having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you. Aw.
Joey: I can do that! (in a deeper voice) "Hello, I'm your professor. When I'm not busy thinking of important things or... professing. I like to use..." Oh, what's the product?
Ross: OK, turn around. (Joey looks taken aback) I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this.
Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.
Phoebe: Wait, wait, remember when my water broke? (They all high-five again.)
Rachel: Oh, The Velveteen Rabbit! Oh my God, when the boy's love makes the rabbit real!
Ross: No, wait ! You guys, no, no, you can't leave! Rachel already feels bad that the cake's messed up. How do you think she's gonna feel when she comes back here and all you guys are gone?
Monica: Any time you want. Y'know, when I was younger, all I wanted to do was to play with this dollhouse, but no!! It was to be looked at, but never played with.
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Chandler: Well, I did and it hurt. (they walk towards the bar) That's when I wrote the song: "Betrayal In The Common Room".
Mr. Geller: Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea.
Chandler: (entering) All right! Okay! I think I am making some progress with Joey, when I went into the apartment he went straight into his bedroom but he only slammed the door once! (Ross is pleased.) I mean yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it.
Joey: No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. Look, Ross, about, about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Because nothing is gonna happen.
Joey: Okay. Hey uh, when do I get to meet the robot?
Susan: I know its frightening, but, big picture. The birth part is just one day, and when its over, were all gonna be parents for the rest of our lives.
Joey: Well okay, so then youre fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as its hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. Its when the heat goes away, thats when youre in trouble.
Ross: What? Oh yeah. (He moves next to her head.) Im sorry. I mean I-I think I went a little crazy. I mean I was thinking about myself when I (Wanders towards Rachels feet) reallyI should have been thinking about you Rach
Ross: (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.
(It's only when the camera cuts to Ross's apartment that we see that the TV is turned off and Ross is indeed doing a bit. He then tries to hide his smirk.)
Ross: What was Monica’s nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Ross: Yknow I remember when uh, when I was in college, we used to (He sees some of his colleagues enter and puts his head on her lap.)
Ross: I don't know, but when I spoke to her, she said she had already passed the mucus plug.
[When he hears Jennifer try to open the door he jumps back, and Jennifer is unable to open the door this time.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Ross: I dont think so! Youre just giving me Ruth so youll get to name it when its a boy, and thats when youll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
Joey: (reading) "When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I can not help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving and " And then I cant think of a good word for right here. (He points to the stop on the paper where he left off.)
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
Matthew: Our energy just comes way up when theres an audience here and when that happens, something happens between your brain and your mouth sometimes and it just doesnt, it just doesnt work.
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
Chandler: (to Richards date) And uh, you dont have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) Im Chandler; I make jokes when Im uncomfortable.
Phoebe: Well no, when I get to the point where... you know... I'm ready to hear cruel mocking jokes about Mike... I'm gonna come to you.
Monica: Oh yeah? Well when you learned how to dance did you forget how to put on underpants?
PHOEBE: No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me. You know, I don't know, when I sang "Su-Su-Suicide", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, "Smelly Cat", I got 25 cents and a condom. So you know, now I just feel really bad for Smelly Cat.
PHOE: Although, you know what? You might want to consider wearing underwear next time. Yeah, cause when you sat down on your throne you could kind of see your... royal subject.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Like-like when Im doing something exciting and I dont wanna get too excited, I just ahh, yknow try to thing of other things like ah sandwiches, and ah baseball, and ah Chandler!
Gunther: Do you remember when you first came here, how you spent two weeks getting trained by another waitress?
Joey: Oooh, the next parts the best, when that dead lady in the bathtub...
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace.
Phoebe: (looking angry) Hey! She will shower when Tibet is free.
Phoebe: Yeah, from now on everyone you lurk, I'm gonna lurk first! You move on to someone else, I'm gonna be one step ahead of you, every single time! And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day 'til Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave?
Mr. Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is reading a 'Busty Ladies' magazine when Chandler enters.]
Joey: Right! And when is that due?
(Joey laughs then realizes the trick didn't work when Chandler hands him his card back.)
(Chandler leaves dejectedly. When the door closes Rachel and Phoebe jump out from behind the curtains and scream )
Ross: Well, I tried! But when I got to my lawyers office all I could hear was, "Three divorces. Three divorces!" Look, I just dont want my tombstone to read, Ross Gellar, Three Divorces.
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Ross: Hey-hey, since youre the fix-it lady, heres a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesnt want to have the wedding at all?
Phoebe: Just pretend they're not even here! It's OK Monica, when that spotlight hits you it so bright you won't see anyoneanyway.
Chandler: Oh. (Does a double take when he realizes what she just said.)
Monica: Hello? No rejection? I got shot down at fat camp! Boy, kids are mean when theyre hungry.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
RACHEL: Oh, what a load of crap. That is a dot. Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lily, you wuss?' OK, Phoebe, that is not a tattoo, this is a tattoo. [she bends over and bears her tattoo right when Ross returns]
Rachel: No, it's just... look, you know, when I first moved to the city I was a lot like her! I was spoiled, self-centered and you guys really took care of me.
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
Joey: Oh well, theyre killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.
Monica: You know, when you start get screwed over all the time, you gotta switch to low-fat.
Chandler: OH MY GOD! When you came in I switched the channel, I was just watching regular porn
Monica: Thats different, we were roommates! And when?!
Melissa: anyway, his name is Allan and weve been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. (Rachel and Phoebe politely laugh) And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.
Chandler: We are going to have a legitimate member of the clergy! And when I say legitimate I mean, gay and in control of his saliva!
Chandler: Hey, you know what I was thinking? When we get married, are you gonna change your last name to Bing?
Ross: The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak.
Joey: You're a lucky man. You know what I miss the most about her? That cute nibbly noise when she eats. Like a happy little squirrel, or a weasel.
RACHEL: I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm sorry, it's just that when you moved your hands down to my butt, it was like woah, Ross's hands are on my butt. Sorry.
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Monica: Okay listen, yknow when you move in Rachels room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it?
Ross: Hey, what took you guys so long? Your cab left when ours did!
(She lets go of the steering wheel to get her cell-phone from her purse. Ross screams and reaches over in order to hold onto the wheel. Cut to the plane. Rachel is sitting in her seat when her cell-phone rings.)
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.