words in movies
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)
Rachel: (Tapping the clipboard) well, now, wait a second, who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person?
Rachel: What? Monica, they are cute, they are doctors, (spelling it out in the air for her slow friend) cute doctors, doctors who are cute!
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross is having lunch with his father who is examining his next forkful.]
(Rachel joins Monica who is in the kitchen area, opening the wine bottle. Rachel checks that the doctors aren't listening, then lowers her voice anyway.)
Rachel: Okay, listen, I'm thinking, why don't we just tell them who we really are? I mean, it'll be fine, I really think it'll be fine.
(Monica glares triumphantly across the room, scaring Rachel who also stands up.)
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
(Marcel changes channel to Bugs Bunny, who is speaking in Spanish.)
Rachel: Hello? (Listens) Um, yeah, uh, (snapping her fingers at Ross who takes the remote from Marcel, then turns off the TV) Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.
(All animosity forgotten, Rachel holds the receiver out as she limps quickly over to her friend, who stands up in concern.)
Ursula: Who?
(The unvoiced hissing continues. In alarm, Ross and Chandler look at the monkey, who is now in some distress.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)
Monica: �A qui�n pidio el pollo General Tso? (Who ordered General Sal's chicken?)
SUSIE: I'll be there, and who knows, if things go well, maybe this time I'll get to see your underwear.
Monica: Huh. So you're saying like umm, if there was an award for the best bad massage, well who would get that?
Phoebe: Right. And with who again? (Ross exits.)
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Nurse: Dr. Drake who?
Amy: Well who would?
Monica: STOP IT!! ...Oh my God. It's true! Who am I?
Cliff: Oh my God! Thats the doctor who was in my room before!
ROSS: You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.
ROSS: Newly appointed head lunch chef who is also in charge of purchasing--
Monica: What? Who says that?
Chandler: Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches.
Monica: You may be okay about getting hurt, but I am not okay with being the one who hurts you. Thats why I cant take this job.
RACHEL: Yes you do. You think of it as your apartment, and I'm just somebody who rents a room.
Ross: (Enters from his bedroom)Who the hell was that?!
Ross: No need to point, she knows who Ross is.
Chandler: This is so bad. If-if youre not Mary-Angela, then-then who is?
Joey raises his hand: Uh.. who has to die for me to get her?
Mike: Sure (looks confused) who are you?
Spokeswoman: And the man who made all this possible... Mr. Peter Becker.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Rachel: No! No, shesShe was nice. I mean, shes a little slutty, but who isnt?
Roy: No, no, you're right. Who am I kidding? I should have hung up that breakaway jockstrap years ago. What am I gonna do? I mean, this has been my life for thirty two years. Taking my clothes off in front of people is all I know.
Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little)
Dr. Green: (gets his receipt and notices the twenty) What is this? Who put a twenty down here? Huh?
Phoebe: Who cares, it got you here.
Ross: Yeah and we'd want to make sure Emma has someone like Monica who is more uh. uh discliplinarin.. someone who can be firm and strict.
Rachel: So-so, you missed a message from who? Chandler or your mom? Or Chandler? Or your mom?
Ross: You know what, its, its better this way anyway. I mean I dont know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. Its just much easier if were just friends who have a kid.
Shelley: Question. You're not dating anybody, are you, because I met somebody who would be perfect for you.
ERICA: No, no no no, you don't have to tell me anything. You don't have to explain yourself to me. Ooh, who am I to question the great Dr. Drake Remore?
Monica: Shes not pregnant. Its Rachel. Rachels the one whos pregnant.
Joanna: (from her office) Whos out there?
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Chandler: So, who does?
Chandler: Who walks into a room and asks to see a persons hands?!
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
Phoebe: Ok. Do we have to talk like that then they're not around? (She sees Rachel) Oh, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?
Rachel: (gasps) Who got married?! (Ross is as surprised to hear this as she is.)
Rachel: Who is it?
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Chandler: Oh really?! You think youre stronger? Why dont you prove it? (He pushes Ross who starts to fall backwards until Mona catches him.)
Rachel: Who?
Joey: All right! Who is he?
Michelle: Ah, who is Emma?
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Ross: Who am I?
Rachel: Oh, okay, well, I think we should let Phoebe decide, because shes the only whos impartial, and shes so pretty.
Rachel: Oh God. You know what? Who you think you are? Who are you to decide what messages I should or should not get?
Rachel: What? Who?
Ross: All right. (He gently tosses the ball to Chandler who catches it.)
Joey: Anyway, it wasnt the robot, it was the guy who controls him. Yeah, he doesnt like me. He had C.H.E.E.S.E. knock over the sandwich right when I was reaching for one! Ohh!
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler and Phoebe are entering. This is the place where the guy who bought Chandlers ring is going to propose.]
Joey: Hey guys! Look whos back! Its Ray-ray!
Mr Campbell: So... your resumé is quite impressive. (Mr Zellner who sits behind Rachel shrugs)
Chandler: (grabbing the phone) Of course he has this big huge dog! That uh, barks into the night. (Listens.) Well, who doesn't love dogs? (Thinks.) Ah, he's a tap dancer! (Listens.) Yes, some would say that is a lost art. (Thinks.) He's a pimp! (Listens.) There you go! Yes, he's a pimp. He's a big, tap dancing pimp! (Pause.) Hello?
Ross: The guy who took Rachel to the prom? Why is he calling you?
Chandler: Who cares? Nobody reads those things
Joey: Oh, hi, I'm Joey. My stupid friends are buying this house. Who are you?
Phoebe: Who is this?
Phoebe: Okay, I will. But right after you tell me who the hell you are.
Chandler: The tall girl who wouldn't sleep with you?
Rachel: Oh, no! Who did that?
Ross: Oh, hey y'know, they-they really overcharge you for that stuff. (Rachel glares at him.) But who cares?! Because it's all on me! (Rachel reaches into the fridge and pulls out two handfuls of those mini booze bottles.) (Watching her.) That is, one big drink!
Ross: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.
Monica: Alright, who wants to do it?
Ross: Who is he?
Monica: A love scene? With who?
Monica: Who do you wanna fool around with?
Joey: Yeah, yeah, she's really into history and foreign movies... And oh, oh, she loves puzzles. Huh? Come on, who loves puzzles?
Ross: Who needs a lease when it's family!
Monica: (gets up) Okay, y'know what, Im not fine, Im not. I mean how can I be fine, hearing you come in with her, she wants to see your bedroom.... (pause) Y'know what, what if were friends who dont see other people?
Monica: Who, who are they?
Joey: Hey! Who was up from 2 oclock this morning until 5 oclock this morning trying to get her back to sleep?
Chandler: Ahh, you know what? That is....Who wouldnt want you?
Chandler: Guys, guys, guess who I am?! (starts dancing around in an effort to stop the fighting.)
Charlie: A guy who won two.
Rachel: ... Ok, who is this?
Joey: That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight.
Rachel: Who (looks around)?
Phoebe: Who else?
Monica: Im Catwoman, who wants to borrow the dress when youre too big for it.
Rachel: So, Im in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle, and guess who the clue is for three down. (She hands the magazine to Joey.)
Monica: The guy who made these hates feet and wants to see them die!
Rachel: Yeah. Sure. (Throws some in her bag and she walks away as Phoebe, dressed as Supergirl walks up and eyes Monica who eyes her back.)
Tommy: (entering, finished with yelling at Ross, who follows him in shell shocked) (happily) Hey!
Joey: Tell me who it is.
Chandler: Yeah, not bad right? You know what, Monicas gonna be working late, so I'm gonna make this place spotless. You know what else I'm gonna do, know what else I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go downstairs, I'm gonna get her some flowers. Now who wouldn't wanna live with me?
Kori: You sick freak, who does that? I can't believe I had a crush on you! (she leaves and slams the door behind her)
Monica: Who did we fight in World War I?
Ross: Oh yeah? Have you ever dated anyone who has been divorced three times?
Mike: Who is this?
(They stop when they see Ross who has to struggle to get out of the bed.)
Joey: What? Why not? Rach, who can you not get?
Rachel: Oh! (pause) Ok. Ok, you really wanna know who it is?
Joey: (stands up) No-no-no-no, no! Who, who were you talking about?
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers start singing smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly behind her] Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that?
(Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing)