words in movies
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Monica: Yeah, Chandler... you've been there for five years.
Joey: (singing) You've got to pick a pocket or two. Boyyyyssss, (picks a handkerchief from the pianist's pocket) you've got to pick a pocket or two..........
Joey: Okay, imagine the best sex you've ever had.
Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
Chandler: Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place.
Ross: You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a 'K'!
Monica: And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a (aloud) HOTTY!! (Charlie looks at her) HI!
Rachel: Hey. Amy. You've got to stop doing that.
Monica: No, those first two windows, (Points) that's the lobby. And y'know the other one over there, that's the stairway. You've been counting wrong.
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
Monica: You've got to be smooth about it.
Joey: Oh, like you've never gotten a little rambunctious with Ross.
Director: Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination.
Ross: No! Oh, no-no-no. Hey, you weren't bad, you've been very good, Ben.
Rachel: What do you mean? You've been in my room before!
Rachel: No, not really. I mean you've seen me naked hundreds of times.
Phoebe: Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss.
Monica: You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? (Mike hangs up the phone) Damnit!
Joey: Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?
Joey: OK, you've got to promise that you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you.
Phoebe: Ross, you've got to tell her how you feel!
Ross: Excuse me sir, you've got a little something right here. (He points to the corner of his mouth and they both laugh.)
FBOB: Hey. Whoa, hey, you've been working out, huh?
MONICA: Wow, all you need now is The Killing Fields and some guacamole and you've got yourself a part-ay.
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Joey's Doctor: Mr. Tribbiani, I'm afraid you've got kidney stones.
Chandler: Love what you've done with the place.
Ross: Hey Erica, welcome back to town! (pause) Wow, look how big you've gotten.
Rachel: Ross, seriously! You've gotta go to an appropriate doctor.
Rachel: Ooh! Honey, it can't be that hard, I mean, you've been in love before?
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
Chandler: Honey, we're leaving tomorrow you've still got a lot of packing to do.
MRS. GREENE: Sweetheart, you obviously have a problem. You've chosen a boyfriend exactly like your father.
Charlie: You've seen all the movies...
Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness.
Ross: (staring at Susan) You've tasted it? You've tasted it.
Assistant: You've never turned?
Chandler: Honey, you've been in there for a long time... Is everything okay?
Dr. Miller: Okay. You've got a small, minor infection in that left eye. I want you to take these drops three times a day and you'll be as good as new.
Rachel: Oh, you've got Carol tomorrow.. When did it get so complicated?
Chandler: Ino! I didn't read the box before I opened it. And you can't return a box after you've opened the box.
Monica: Hey, you've got a boyfriend!
Phoebe: least you've been married, OH MY GOD! I wanna trade lives with Ross (cries more)
Ross: You've been quiet all morning. Is everything okay?
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Monica: What about all the guys that you've got the phone numbers from? Why don't you just kiss one of them?
Phoebe: Uhm, actually no. No, you've... You have to get off the plane.
Rachel: It really was. You've learned some new moves!
Joey: Yeeeeaaaahhh! What's messing you up? The wine? The candles? The moonlight? You've just got to go up to her and say, 'Rachel, I think that...' (Rachel comes into the room behind them)
Monica: Ok, so you've done some good work! (pause) What about your carry-ons?
Ross: Joey! This is like the last commercial. You've got like (checks his watch) ten minutes left!
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Phoebe: Yeah, but you've known Rachel since High School and you cannot just cut her out of your life.
Rachel: Ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Rachel: Just a touch. Mon, I don't understand. I mean, you've been dating this guy since like, what... his midterms? I mean, why all the sudden are you so... Oh.
Rachel: Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler!
Ross: You've really crossed the line here, but that's okay, it's ok 'cause I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software and a stack of gay porn. That's right! Your coming out is about to get real graphic.
Rachel: So from that you think you've got me all figured out? Well, you don't! Y'know I-I could have toys for underprivileged kids in here!
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
MONICA: You've got to get back out there, it's your party.
MONICA: Alright, before I tell you, uh, why don't you tell me how many women you've been with.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this.
MNCA: You know what? It seems like you've been making an awful lot of stuff Irish lately.
Joey: I can't decide which route to take to Vegas. Hey, you've traveled a lot right?
Chandler: (entering) Look, maybe I got carried away before. But there's something you gotta know. If I'm the best, it's only because you've made me the best.
Joey: Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.
RACHEL: Well, you know, honey, I don't think everybody gets Smelly Cat. You know, I mean, if all you've ever actually had are healthy pets, then, whoosh!
Monica: You've been lying to me? I can't believe you'd do that.
Assistant: You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it?
Amy: Uh.. To name a few. You know.. You know.. You've just always been like this. You just have to have everything. And I couldn't have anything. Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me?
Dr. Baldhara: Well, if he's up against a jungle cat or an animal with horns, you've got to give the little guy something. Otherwise it's just cruel.
ROSS: OK, what's the longest you've been in the relationship before ha, have, having the sex?
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
CHAN: Y'know, maybe this isn't such a big deal. Y'know, I mean, the way that I see it is you get a great job and you get to have sex. Y'know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas.
Phoebe: Yeah, you've... you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom...
Mike: Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it.
Monica: You've never met Bob, have you?
Phoebe: Uh-huh. You've met your match Rachel Green.
Joey: Uhm... A penis model. (Monica can't believe what's she's hearing and Ross pats Joey on the back.) Anyway, hey... Did you tell Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you've ever met?
RACHEL: Oh, please, Monica. You've always hated my lamp, and then, all of a sudden, it's just magically broken?
Chandler: (on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? (Listens) Yeah, I miss you too. (Listens) Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? (Listens) Well, that's very generous (Listens) er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... (Listens) And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? (Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! (Listens) No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens) I'll see you on Monday! (slams the phone down)
Monica: (she hugs Chandler) Honey, you've been really strong about this, I know how badly you wanted that job.
Rachel: Ugh, it was horrible! And-and the interview part went so well, y'know? I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, "Well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets!" (She starts laughing; Chandler and Joey are not amused.) Trust me, it was actually, it was very funny. Anyway, so we were saying good-bye and ugh!
Rachel: Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!
PHOEBE: Oh. Well is she, is she the first that you've been with?
Jill: No, you've got to whip it.
Rachel: Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted!
Chandler: So in your whole life, you've only been with one(He gets a look too)oh.
ROSS: Um . . . ah . . . you know, I'm divorced.� Um, Phoebe, ah . . . Phoebe said you . . . You've been divorced?
Monica: Ross, you've got to do something about the humping.
MONICA: Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. Ya know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier.
Monica: That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?!
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
ROSS: Oh look, did, did you just see that? Did you see? He just waved, he just waved, he's never waved before, you've never waved before. Yes he has. Very good.
ROSS: You've had feelings for me?
Chandler: Yes. It's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.
ROSS: No, no way. You've got it totally the other way around my friend. John Voit was...
Rachel: yeah your both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with, you're made for each other.