words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, I'm sure you've guessed, it's the famous fight scene between Ross and Rachel.]
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
MONICA: Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. Ya know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier.
ROSS: Oh look, did, did you just see that? Did you see? He just waved, he just waved, he's never waved before, you've never waved before. Yes he has. Very good.
ROSS: You've had feelings for me?
Rachel: Oh! Well, um.. (Grabs his forehand) You've got plugs!
ROSS: No, no way. You've got it totally the other way around my friend. John Voit was...
Rachel: yeah your both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with, you're made for each other.
Donny: Ok Henrietta, you've picked Jack and Jill went up the hill.
Chandler: Yes. It's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.
Joey: Dude, if you think Fireball's relaxing, you've obviously have never played.
Phoebe: She's already fluffed that pillow... Monica, you know, you've already fluffed that- (Monica glares at her.) -but, it's fine!
Ross: Oh, you've tasted it.
Phoebe: You don't need Janice for that, you've got us. We
Ross: You've never said that in your life, have you?
MONICA: But you've only slept with two people.
Rachel: And you've got lenses! But you hate sticking your finger in your eye!
Rachel: Which you're not, because you've totally hung up on him!
Ross: No, God! Hey, Rach, you've been an amazing daughter, ok? Right now you just need to get some rest.
Rachel: so basically you've slept with all the woman in New York and now you're just going around again.
Rachel: (looks at him suspiciously) I know what this is all about... You've always been jealous of my hair.
Ross: Oh my God, you've got a crush on your sister's stalker.
Chandler: Oh. Well, hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing through?
Elizabeth: Ross, umm, you've been in there for a long time. I'm starting to get kinda freaked out.
PHOEBE: (singing) I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song. Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet, and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.
PHOEBE: Everything you've heard is true.
David: That's fair, you've had a long trip. (he leaves his seat to Mike, and stands there looking for a chair. He finally goes to Monica and Chandler's table)
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Chandler: Okay-dokay, you've each won a game and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life. So everybody goes home a winner.
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
ROSS: Ow, ow, OK. Alright, alright, Mon, Mon, you've gone ultrasonic again, alright.
Gary: Not as impressive as you. I gotta tell you, I looked at your record and you've done some pretty weird stuff.
Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
Chandler: Let me see what you wrote about yourself: "Doctor Paleontology, two kids... " (pause) You split with Carol because you have different interests?... I think you split with Carol because you've one very similar interest!
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years!
Joey: Come on man! You've been here all day!
Hayley's roommate: Hey Hayley you've really gotta fix that doorknob. Joey!
Chandler: Oh, come on! You've been acting strange all day!
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
Ross: Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Monica: So what, you're not the only one. I mean, half the time we don't know where we're going. You've just gotta figure at some point it's all gonna come together, and it's just gonna be... un-floopy.
Phoebe: No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'.
Monica: Yeah, Chandler... you've been there for five years.
Rachel: Hey. Amy. You've got to stop doing that.
Joey: (singing) You've got to pick a pocket or two. Boyyyyssss, (picks a handkerchief from the pianist's pocket) you've got to pick a pocket or two..........
Ross: You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a 'K'!
Monica: And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a (aloud) HOTTY!! (Charlie looks at her) HI!
Monica: No, those first two windows, (Points) that's the lobby. And y'know the other one over there, that's the stairway. You've been counting wrong.
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
Chandler: Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place.
Monica: You've got to be smooth about it.
Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
Joey: Okay, imagine the best sex you've ever had.
Ross: No! Oh, no-no-no. Hey, you weren't bad, you've been very good, Ben.
Director: Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination.
Joey: Oh, like you've never gotten a little rambunctious with Ross.
Phoebe: Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss.
Rachel: What do you mean? You've been in my room before!
Rachel: No, not really. I mean you've seen me naked hundreds of times.
Monica: You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? (Mike hangs up the phone) Damnit!
Joey: OK, you've got to promise that you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you.
Phoebe: Ross, you've got to tell her how you feel!
FBOB: Hey. Whoa, hey, you've been working out, huh?
Ross: Excuse me sir, you've got a little something right here. (He points to the corner of his mouth and they both laugh.)
Joey: Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?
MONICA: Wow, all you need now is The Killing Fields and some guacamole and you've got yourself a part-ay.
Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness.
Joey's Doctor: Mr. Tribbiani, I'm afraid you've got kidney stones.
Ross: Hey Erica, welcome back to town! (pause) Wow, look how big you've gotten.
Rachel: Ooh! Honey, it can't be that hard, I mean, you've been in love before?
Rachel: Ross, seriously! You've gotta go to an appropriate doctor.
Chandler: Love what you've done with the place.
Chandler: Honey, we're leaving tomorrow you've still got a lot of packing to do.
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
MRS. GREENE: Sweetheart, you obviously have a problem. You've chosen a boyfriend exactly like your father.
Charlie: You've seen all the movies...
Ross: (staring at Susan) You've tasted it? You've tasted it.
Chandler: Honey, you've been in there for a long time... Is everything okay?
Assistant: You've never turned?
Phoebe: least you've been married, OH MY GOD! I wanna trade lives with Ross (cries more)
Rachel: Oh, you've got Carol tomorrow.. When did it get so complicated?
Dr. Miller: Okay. You've got a small, minor infection in that left eye. I want you to take these drops three times a day and you'll be as good as new.
Chandler: Ino! I didn't read the box before I opened it. And you can't return a box after you've opened the box.
Monica: Hey, you've got a boyfriend!
Rachel: It really was. You've learned some new moves!
Ross: You've been quiet all morning. Is everything okay?
Joey: Yeeeeaaaahhh! What's messing you up? The wine? The candles? The moonlight? You've just got to go up to her and say, 'Rachel, I think that...' (Rachel comes into the room behind them)
Monica: What about all the guys that you've got the phone numbers from? Why don't you just kiss one of them?
Phoebe: Uhm, actually no. No, you've... You have to get off the plane.
Monica: Ok, so you've done some good work! (pause) What about your carry-ons?
Rachel: Ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Phoebe: Yeah, but you've known Rachel since High School and you cannot just cut her out of your life.
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Ross: Joey! This is like the last commercial. You've got like (checks his watch) ten minutes left!