words in movies
Joey: You guys, can we please not watch this all right.
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Joey: (on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
Ross: (to Chandler) Are you intrigued?
Mike: Keep in mind, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (to Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Monica: Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, (turns sideways on the couch) so that you can bunny bump against my back.
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Joey: How is it you?
Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)
Phoebe: Yep, and that's why we don't invite you to play.
Janice: What is the great tragedy here? You go get yourself another appointment.
Joey: Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance.
Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.
Joey: What, what are you doing? What are you doing?
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Monica: Oh, now you want a pad.
Ross: You know what it's fine. If you're okay with the Barbi thing, so am I.
Ross: Give daddy the Barbi! Ben, give, give me the Barbi. Okay, how 'bout, don't you want to play with the monster truck? (makes a monster truck sound) No. Okay, oh, oh, how about a Dino-soilder? (squawks like a dinosaur)
Rachel: Ross, you are so pathetic. Why can't your son just play with his doll? (uses the Milk Master 2000 to pour milk into her cereal)
Monica: There it is. Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: Hey, I only got one good arm, you know. You should be doing stuff for me. Go get me a sweater.
Rachel: What's the big deal? Why don't you wanna see Janice?
Ross: And that's bad because..., you hate chicken piccata?
Ross: You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.
Monica: What is it with you people! I mean, the minute you start to feel something, you have to run away?
Monica: Oh, you mean like that guy thing where you act mean and distant until you get us to break up with you.
Joey: Hey, you know about that?!
Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.
Chandler: You think?
Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.
Rachel: Sure Pheebs, you know, that's what it's there for, emergencies and pretend agents.
Phoebe: (on phone, in 'Katelynn's' voice) 'Hi, I have Phoebe Buffay returning a page. Okay, well, um, she's in her car I'll have to patch you through.'
Phoebe: (in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.
Joey: Thank you so much.
Joey: You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.
Joey: Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.
Janice: So, how come you wanted to eat in tonight?
Chandler: 'Cause, I wanted to uh, give you this. (hands her a present)
Janice: Ohhh, are you a puppy! (opens it) Contact paper! I never really know what to say when someone you're sleeping with gives you contact paper.
Janice: Oh, you didn't have to do this.
Janice: (laughs) I don't think we need to, because you're tripping me out right now! Are you okay?
Janice: You probably want us to move in together?
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Maybe it's not so bad. How did you leave it?
Monica: You know, when you start get screwed over all the time, you gotta switch to low-fat.
Rachel: Yeah, you do.
Chandler: So, you don't think I'm terminal?
Monica: Well, no, not at all, you're not terminal, you just, you just need some damage control.
Rachel: This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.
Rachel: Right. So, what you have to do is, you have to accidentally run into her on purpose. And then act aloof.
Rachel: G.I. Joe? Do you really think he's gonna fall for that?
Joey: Pheebs! There you are!
Phoebe: Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.
Joey: Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.
Phoebe: Yes! They called and you didn't get it! Okay, I mean you didn't get it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Phoebe: But they shouldn't happen, you know what, you're, you're in a terrible, terrible business. Oh God, I don't wanna be the person who makes your face look like that.
Phoebe: Oh, now you're sad and creepy, oh. You know what, I, I'm sorry I quit, okay, I just quit.
Joey: No! No, no you can't quit! You're the best agent I ever had! Look Pheebs, rejection is part being an actor, you can't take it personally.
Joey: No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. (in a very bad Italian accent) I canna work on a new accent.
Phoebe: Yeah okay, no if it helps you okay. Yeah.
Janice: (to butcher) No, thank you. (Chandler makes a sound and she notices him) Chandler!
Janice: What are you doing here?
Chandler: (in accent) Oh, just a bit of shopping. How've you been?
Janice: Are you being British?!
Janice: Why are you shopping here? You don't live in this neighborhood. Were you here waiting for me?
Chandler: Yeah, huh. I'm just uh, you know I'm just picking up some things for a party. (grabs a bag off of the shelf)
Janice: Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So like which of these two guys do you want to be? (another guy walks by)
Phoebe: No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that.
Joey: You do, thanks.
Joey: Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent.
Phoebe: (in a coy tone) Oh, you caught me. I am so busted.
Chandler: ....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store.
Monica: You know what, everything's gonna be okay.
Chandler: (answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?
Monica: If-if-if we ever did what you did a man would never call.
Monica: Oh wait, you know what, I got it, I got it, pretend like you just woke up, okay, that will throw her off. Be sleepy.
Chandler: What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!
Chandler: (on phone) I love you too.
Ross: Hey, I don't know what to tell you guys that's the doll he chose.
Susan: What'd you do, dip it in sugar?
Ross: Look, G. I. Joe's in, Barbi's out. And if you guys can't deal with it, that's your 'too bad.'
Monica: What are you being such a weenie for? So he has a Barbi, big deal. You used to dress up like a woman.
Monica: Well, you used to dress up in Mom's clothes all the time.
Ross: What are you talking about?
Ross: Okay, you are totally making this up.
Monica: How can you not remember? You made us call you...Bea.
Monica: '....Won't you, won't you, won't you.... '
Ross: (coming out of the bathroom) Won't you dance around with me.
Young Ross: (singing) 'I am Bea. I drink tea. Won't you dance around with....' (spills some tea and it drips onto his/her dress) Ohhh! (runs away crying)
Chandler: Pheebs, I dont understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know anything about?
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
Monica: The woman that got married a bunch of times and killed herself when you were 13?
Rachel: You promised you would break up with her!
Phoebe: Umm, do you know, umm Sipowicz?
Chandler: So apparently we just dont pay for food anymore. (Rachel laughs then Chandler notices something.) Do you see what I see?
Gary: I really like waking up with you.
Rachel: Phoebe, are you okay?
SUSIE: But um, here's an idea, have you ever worn women's underwear?
PHOEBE: Nope. You don't want to see a face covered with pox.
Rachel: Well, y'know, possibly. (pause) You didnt tell him that, though? Right?
Monica: Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. We’re really excited about getting this process started.
Chandler: You okay there man?
Eric: Uh, a little bit. She-she-she walked in and I thought she was you and I kissed her and
Joey: What are you talking about? Keep it!
Monica: Danny? You know Rachel? Shes nice. Shes not bad to look at, right?
Phoebe: (pointing at Ross) Okay but if you dont find him and bring him back, I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass!
Chandler: Did you tell her what we talked about? (Joey starts laughing hysterically, but then gets serious again...)
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
Eric: Uh listen, I justI thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.
Chandler: I got you something from Vermont! (Sits down at the table)
Joey: Man. Can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?
Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you...
Joey: You want my advice?
Chandler: Thank you.
Monica: Joey... we always know what you mean.
Rachel: Well, I like you less!
Joey: Yeah, you did some real good thinkin in there.
Joey: I feel so stupid, you know? Why... why do I keep going after the wrong girls?
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Chandler: You know what just occurred to me? This could be our last Thanksgiving just the two of us. I mean, we could be getting a baby soon!
Joey: Sure, what do you want to see?
Ross: Rachel, I know that you can. And you should.
Phoebe: Youre thing. Youre thing. Yknow? Youre the guy who gets divorced.
Ross: Wow, hello! You look great!
Monica: I love you.
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
Monica: That noise you just made?
Wendy: Naah... I couldn't leave you alone.
Joey: You spit on me man! (Wipes his face.)
Phoebe: No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'.
Monica: I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why Phoebe, why?
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Joey: You got it!
Chandler: (pats him on the shoulder) Youre it! Now run and hide!
Chandler: (Yelling) What are you doing? Get the hell out of here! (Phoebe and Joey come out looking shocked)
ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Mr. Geller: Well, it's your mother's bridge night so I thought that I would come into the city for a little Monicuddle. (hugs her) Since when did you start smoking cigars?
Chandler: It got interesting! Damn you Oprah!
CHANDLER: So, you uh, you think that Speed Racer guy gets a lot of tickets er?
Chandler: Im sorry youre here with me instead of Roger.
Rachel: Well look, if you dont like this (The audiences laughter at Chandlers progress cuts out the rest of Rachels line.)
Phoebe: Well maybe he was just nervous, yknow you can be very intimidating. And besides Ive met your pastry chef and she can stand to be taken down a peg or two.
Monica: Chandler! What are you doing here?
Joey: (at the urinal) Can you stop yellin'? You're makin' me nervous, and I can't go when I'm nervous.
Phoebe: Umm, no thank you. (She gets up and moves to the couch. They were at a table previously.)
Ross: You couldn't let me have her, could ya?!
Dr. Leedbetter: Umm, Ross. May I have a word with you?
Doug: There you go. (smacks him on the butt)
Ross: Hey! You were so right!
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Chandler: Phoebe thinks you and Don are soul mates, and I dont believe in that kind of stuff. But then you two totally get along. So look, I wont stand in your way if you want to run off with Don and live in a house of cheese.
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Rachel: Well, well, you said it was practice!
Rachel: Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment!
Joey: I really am sorry about, you know..before. I just want to make sure you know that I really do like you.
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
Richard: Yeah hes no good. Do you ever (pause) think about me in a (pause) non-eye doctor way?
Phoebe: Umm, my friend, Bonnie. She just always thought Ross was really cute, and now that you two arent together, she asked if I could set it up, but if youre not cool with it...
MONICA: I promise you, he would definitely want you back.
Rachel: You dont understand! You didnt see how brazen she was.
JOEY: Oh, that's OK. You uh, you had a thing.
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
Monica: Chandler, what were you thinking?
Chandler: Huh-huh! You can't give her that.
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Rachel: Uh-huh, yeah I did, because I wore out my first copy when I was with you. (Exits.)
Ross: Its not a big deal? Oh, Im sorry I just um, I what about all the stuff you-you just said? I mean how about, I likeyou-you cant stop thinking about her. Like how you cant sleep?
CHANDLER: Well, if I was wearing your underwear then, uh, what would you be wearing?. . . You're swell.
Chandler: No not okay, you cant look for Monicas presents!
Rachel: Pheebs? Could you get that? Please?
Ross: No, its my joke, its mine. You can call them, theyll tell you.
Monica: Ah, well if you dont clear this off, you wont be getting one of those from me. But Bens coming over here tomorrow to play this game, this cant be there.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Rachel: Oh, wow thanks! (Reading the card) Oh youre in real estate!
Rachel: (looking at the bulletin board with baby pictures) So, which of these babies do you think is the ugliest?
Joey: I can't believe you guys are moving.
Rachel: What is the matter with you?!
Joey: (sounds tired) Hey you guys, I'm turning in. Have fun.
Phoebe: (to Pete) Wow! Thats exciting, you went to Japan, made up a woman.
Monica: I got you a present!
Joey: Oh it was great. Yeah, you get to say stuff like, Hey, the bell doesnt dismiss you, I dismiss you.
Phoebe: Hey, I never got to hear who you guys would pick to be your girlfriend.
Ross: Yknow what would cheer you up?
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Rachel: So, I love you.
Joey: Hey, hang up! You get food poisoning just talkin to that place.
Monica: Sounds smart and healthy to me. So um, just out of curiosity, um, do you currently have any other racquetball buddies?