words in movies
Phoebe: Thank you! (to Rachel) Oh, and I have something for you!
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, baby, that's nice but, you know what, I think I'm ok. Why don't you give it to one of your other single girlfriends?
Chandler: Hey, I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married! Although it wasn't so much a book as a... napkin. With Janice's phone number on it.
Chandler: Oh, then I'll tell you. My agency was bidding for a big account and they got it! It's my first national commercial!
Chandler: Yeah, and I don't wanna brag but a lot of the ideas were mine! (silence) Hell, you weren't there? All the ideas were mine!!!
Joey: That's great! Hey, can you cast me in it?
Joey: What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? (he mimes an old man with a beard) I'm old! (then he yawns) I'm tired! (then he mimes someone who's hot...) Hey, I'm hot (...and cold) I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?
Ross: Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant! I'll give you a hint, he's looking right at you.
Charlie: Wait. Are you talking about the Dewar grant?
Charlie: No, no, we ended up in great terms. I mean, if anything, I think this could help you. You know what? Why don't we all go out to dinner together, and I can introduce you.
Ross: Well, if you think it would help.
Ross: Ok, now, is there anything I can do to... you know, butter him up? Anything he really likes?
Monica: Hey, you wanna go to see a movie?
Phoebe: Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in.
Monica: Oh, well. Now that I'm here I might as well help you with the cleaning and organizing! Just happen to have my label maker!
Phoebe: Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff! Did you and Chandler have to make compromises when you first moved in together?
Monica: Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up? Phoebe: A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys.
Phoebe: Yeah. I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know!! Oh, you should take her!
Phoebe: Why, you don't like her?
Monica: Well, of course I do. What's not to like! I'll take her in a minute! But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey. I think that you need to fight for her!
Phoebe: Really? You think?
Monica: Absolutely! Yes, you say to him "I'm sorry Mike I can't live without her, she means too much to me!"
Phoebe: Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her.
Chandler: Hey you guys.
Chandler: Joe, I told you, you're just not right for the part.
Joey: What do you mean? Rach, don't I seem like a professor you'd buy some kind of e-crap from?
Joey: Just watch it, and if you don't like it, you don't pass it on to your bosses!
Joey: Thank you. (he sits down)
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
Ross: I can't believe I'm about to meet Benjamin Hobart. I've always thought of him as one of the people I'd invite to my fantasy dinner party. Do you think there's any chance he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C3PO?
Benjamin: Charlie! My God, you look absolutely stunning!
Benjamin: So good to see you.
Ross: It's an honor to meet you. I can't tell you how long I've been an admirer of your work, I mean, that Nobel prize, (he thumbs up) whoooo! I mean, I have to tell you that, you're one of the reasons I got into the field.
Benjamin: Oh, well, likewise. Actually, not likewise. I've never heard of you until this morning, but, it's nice to be nice!
Benjamin: (to Ross) Thank you! (to Charlie). I can't believe that you chose this restaurant! Do you remember the night?
Benjamin (to Ross): You weren't there!
Ross: No, but, it's, you know, it's just a funny image, you know, the two of you, in this restaurant, with... (laughs nervously)tzz-zzz, mmm.
Charlie: Ross, why don't you tell Benji about your proposal, while I go to the ladies room?
Ross: Did you just say "break up with Charlie"?
Ross: Kind of inappropriate, don't you think?
Benjamin: I'm sorry. I just haven't seen her for so long! All these feelings are rushing back! I'm starting to realize how much I missed her, and I'm gonna need you to break up with her.
Ross: Are you serious?
Benjamin: If you say yes then I'm serious, if you say no then I'm joking!
Monica: Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting?
Phoebe: No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours!
Phoebe: Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame.
Phoebe: Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too!
Rachel: Well, I mean, sure, of course. But... you already gave that to Monica, so...
Monica: You know, I would give her up, for you.
Rachel: No, I couldn't let you do that.
Rachel: But I don't want you to.
Rachel: (sarcastic) No, no, that's ok. You won fair and square. I'm so sad!
Joey: (looks at him suspiciously) But, ehm... you watched the tape?
Joey: (sounds confident) You didn't watch the tape.
Chandler: I'm not lying to you, I watched it!
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Joey: (yelling back) No you didn't! (turns and goes towards his room)
Chandler: (following him) I'm telling you, I watched the tape. (Reaches Joey's room and Joey slams the door in his face)
Rachel: Did you watch the tape?
Benjamin: The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists today. The ultimate decision will be based upon the answers you give to the questions I ask here. I'm gonna start with Dr. Li. Dr. Li, you claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this problem?
Benjamin: No! I'm sorry, we were looking for "Baby It's You". Baby It's You.
Rachel: But you are a liar.
Joey: You still here?
Joey: Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.) (yelling) Stop lying!
Chandler: Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape?
Joey: (very angry) You wanna know wh...? You wanna know why? (goes back into his room)
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)
Rachel: Well, hey! How about right above the TV? (Points to the spot where her famous French poster is hanging). That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door!
Phoebe: (genuinely excited about it) Yeah, yeah! And you can get rid of that French poster.
Monica: (Impatient with Rachel) Are you still here?
Ross: Oh hi! Hello! Uh, have you come to ask me some more paleontology related questions? Uhm... your grandmother's nickname, perhaps? (Now yelling) Aunt Margaret's pants size?
Benjamin: Anyway, I've decided to offer you the grant.
Benjamin: Hey, you got one right!
Rachel: Alright, fine. You can keep it. As long as you don't mind that she's haunted.
Monica: No, too late. You can't give it back! (she pushes the painting back to Rachel)
Monica: No you can't. She's yours!
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
Chandler: Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not.
Joey: That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied.
Chandler: I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?
Joey: Now, what do you say?
Charlie: Did you get the grant?
Ross: No I didn't, and you want to know why? Because your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you.
Ross: Yeah. He wouldn't give me the grant, because I wouldn't give you up.
Ross: If you don't believe me, let's go talk to him, okay? I'm telling you, he didn't ask me one paleontological question.
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, no. He did ask me one. Uhm... How do you spell Mboscodictiosaur?
Benjamin: Dr. Geller...? Charlie... What are you... what are you doing here?
Ross: I want you to tell her everything. About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you... Wally Cox! That's the voice of Underdog!
Benjamin: Like I tried to tell you in the interview Ross, this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia.
Ross: No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth.
Benjamin: Alright, it's true. I behaved horribly. But it's only because I still love you. And I would do anything to have you back in my life.
Benjamin: I never should have broken up with you. I think about you all the time. I mean, do you ever still think about me?
Benjamin: Listen, I know, I may be way out of bounds here, but is there any chance you will take me back?
Charlie: Oh God! I am so sorry, but... (she puts her hand on Ross's cheek) I mean it's... there's so much history between us, you know...
Benjamin: I love you!
Charlie: I love you too! (and they start to kiss)
Phoebe: YOU DID NOT!!!! Oh! No! You came up with Relaxi Cab! Thats not good.
Joey: We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time (he points the foam finger at the girls)
CHANDLER: Spanish midgets. Spanish midgets wrestling. Julie. Ok, yes, I see how you got there. (phone rings)
Joey: She was nothing compared to you.
PHOEBE: I don't think it would have sold a million copies but it would have made a nice gift for you.
Rachel: Oh, okay see I thought, I thought you meant how much was it when it was new, yknow like back then.
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Rachel: Would you stop?! What is the matter with you?!
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
Monica: Would you ever be a surrogate for anyone?
Joey: Look, Im telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on Married With Children always used to do.) it doesnt hurt that bad.
Chandler: Oh please, you are obsessed with babies and-and marriage and everything that's related to babies and-and marriage! I've got an idea, why don't we turn down the heat on this pressure cooker?!
Monica: Please tell me youre stopping now.
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Chandler: Hes right. Nobodys gonna benefit, and youre just gonna hurt her.
MONICA: Nothing, I just heard something nice about you.
Rachel: Okay, that is all you.
Joey: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Monica: Well thank God you were here! I mean, we have to erase that!
Ross: Hey, at least you have a wife! I-I keep getting divorces and knockin people up! And Im dressed as doody.
ROSS: Tuesday right. Ok, bye you guys.
Rachel: You all know? Does Ross know?
Chandler: We heard you play all the way from your apartment!
Phoebe: We thought you knew!
Rachel: Ross, you guys went out once. You took your kids to Chucky Cheese, and you didn't even kiss her.
Laura: What are you doing here?
Monica: First of all um, I love you both so much and youre both so important to me
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Joey looks at her.) Im sorry, too soon. You go.
Phoebe: Listen. Listen. (She starts to play and sing.) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Chandler: Yeah, huh. I'm just uh, you know I'm just picking up some things for a party. (grabs a bag off of the shelf)
ERICA: Oh Drake, you are so talented, let me see those hands. Oh these hands, these beautiful hands, oh I could just eat them. . . but I won't.
Ross: I mean look, that-that one night we had was fun and and certainly passionate, but dont you think its better if we just stayed friends?
DUNCAN: Ahh, look at you, you look great.
Chandler: All right, just, just take the entertainment center, and then when you get home, throw the canoe away!
Robin: Y'know its that feeling you get, y'know?
Paul: I wanted a big wheel. And instead my parents got me this little plastic chicken that you hop around on. It was embarrassing; kids made fun of me. That was a pretty tough year.
Chandler: Well, Im upsetfor you. I mean, having sex with an endless line of beautiful women must be very unfulfilling for you. (He cant believe he just sad that.)
Rachel: Oh God, ohh, okay, y'know what, do you think ah, do you think that you just forget that I told you this?
Phoebe: Not even if you just pretend that it's milk?
Rachel: You can?
Rachel: Wow! Have you ever rescued anyone from a burning building before?
Joey: Yeah, thats what I was afraid of.. Okay, uhh Look Janine I really want you to feel at home here, but some of this new stuff. Its too girly.
Chandler: Hi. You guys have any wrapping paper?
Phoebe: (returning) Hey you guys, Hums While He Pees just asked me out!
CHANDLER: Yeah. Just let me grab my jacket and tell you I had sex today.
Rachel: Joey, youre such an amazing actor! (He smiles.) How do you know where Dr. Drake Remoray leaves off and Joey Tribbiani begins?
Chandler: I never want to leave you again!
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Phoebe: Okay, how do you feel now?
PHOEBE: Well you said that he's paying the people who are playing.
Chandler: How did you? How? How?
Monica: Wow! And you got a petticure. Your feet are all dressed up.
Joey: But you can't stay with Phoebe, Ross! We're-we're roomies!
Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)
Joey: Hey! Dont you hang up on me! Ill marry you and me right now! I have the power!
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Joey: Wait, well, where did you get it from?!
Mike: Sure (looks confused) who are you?
Joey: What? You ordered pizza without me?!
Monica: Youll see.
Joey: Over there! (Points to the couch) Before, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said "No," you dropped it. Okay? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again!
Chandler: Oh we did, and you still have all your lamps.
Rachel: Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I’m... I’m gonna pick up some really good stuff for you.
Rachel: Do you remember where the duck food is?
Phoebe: Uhm... You know, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin...
PHOEBE: You wanna try it again?
Joey: You have Knicks tickets?
Joey: No youre not! Not to me!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, except Joey, is there. Phoebe is, well you y'know.]
JOEY: You see this, this is a friend.
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Ross: Oh, now you want a favour?
Frank: Wait a minute, wait, this is because of you?
Monica: Hey, dont mix those up, you could really ruin that lollipop.
Rachel: How?! How do you know?
FBOB: I think you may have a drinking problem.
Monica: Yeah. Umm, Chandler can I talk to you outside for a second?
Mrs. Waltham: Lovely to meet you.
Rachel: But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, Im gettin lucky." (Laughs.)
Joey: What, are you crazy? When a blind man gets his sight back, does he walk around like this? (Joey closes his eyes and walks around with arms spread.)
Rachel: Ohh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
RACHEL: This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this?
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Ross: No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do.
Chandler: (into receiver)Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know?
Joey: Oh my God! Is that why you guys had to get married?!
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Rachel: (seeing him) Chandler, what are you doing? There is a trash can right there.
Ross: A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!
Chloe: Thats so great for you guys!
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
Ross: Yknow, I-Iyouve done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay?
Gunther: Jij spreekt Nederlands? Dat is te gek. Heb je familie daar? (Translation: You speak Dutch That's cool. Do you have relatives there?)
Joey: I mean, the jobs easy and the moneys good, you know? I guess Im going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys.
Liam: You dont say! (We see Ross who is hopping about with the ball and spikes it in his face.)
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.