words in movies
Rachel: What-what?! Youre gonna leave this person with me?!
Joey: YeahHey, dont worry, shes a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that Im not looking for a serious relationship; thatd be great.
Rachel: Why?! What?! Are you kidding?!
Rachel: Yknow what? Thats a lot to remember, cant I just tell her youre a pig?
Joeys Date: You must be Rachel, Im Erin.
Rachel: (pause) Would you like some pancakes?
(They go around the last row of bookshelves and find a couple doing what college coeds do in secluded corners of university libraries. For those of you who dont know what Im talking about, lets just say that clothing is undone. Ross gasps and the couple gets up and runs away.)
Chandler: You didnt bring me here to do that, did you?
The Waitress: She says its to dry now and she wants to come back here and explain to you exactly how she wants it.
Janice: How are you Ms. Hot Shot chef with the big fancy restaurant with the best chicken ever! (Does the laugh.)
Chandler: OH MY GAWD! I am so sorry sweetie, are you okay? You didnt tell her we were getting married, did you?
Chandler: (laughs) You said no right?
Chandler: You said no right?!
Chandler: What do you think shes just gonna sit there quietly? You dont think shes gonna want to make a toast? You dont think shes gonna want to grab the microphone and sing Part-time Lover?!
Monica: So-so you wouldve just lied?
Joey: Why wouldnt ya? Erin is great! Then-then theres you guys.
Erin: Or Ill call you!
Joey: (to Erin) Okay, good to see you again.
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im sorry I just couldnt tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And yknow we got to talking and I
Phoebe: We want you to marry her!
Phoebe: She is so amazing! You have no idea.
Joey: No idea? Who do you think brought her here?
Joey: Man, do you know what guys want!
Rachel: Look Joey, come on shes so perfect for you! I mean shes sweet, she-she likes baseball, and she-she had two beers at lunch.
Joey: My beers?! Look you guys, shes a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I justI dont see it going anywhere.
Phoebe: Yeah, but you always say that.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if you gave this girl a chance it would go somewhere.
Joey: Look Im sorry you guys, I-I just dont think so.
Joey: Hey, dont start judging me! (To Rachel) Huh? Youre the one whos in love with her assistant! (To Phoebe) Huh? And you, youre the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof!
Rachel: Oh my God! Did you get to see anything good?
Ross: Let me ask you something, at your school was there a like uh a place on campus where students went to uh, fool around.
Rachel: (does a retching sound) Wait a minute! Why dont you guys do something?!
Ross: Excuse me. Hi, Im a professor here. Do you know the Paleontology section, fifth floor, stack 437?
The Head Librarian: How can I help you?
The Head Librarian: We are aware of the problem you are referring too. (He turns to look at the previous librarian.) But as far as increasing security, Im afraid the library is very understaffed. I, I cant help you.
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Phoebe: Yay!! Oh so, youre not, youre not mad at us anymore?
Joey: No! No! No! You guys were totally right! This is so much better than the first time we went out. Yknow? That was so awkward, we were really nervous.
Phoebe: Didnt you sleep together?
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please dont get married before I do.
Janice: Oh, what are you, stupid? Its been three hours.
Janice: I should just go on to happier things, okay? Umm, why dont you tell about your lovely wedding?
Chandler: Well actually uh, there was something we wanted to tell you about the wedding. Um, its going to be a small ceremony. Uh, tiny! Were not even sure why were having it.
Janice: Oh wait you two think of me as family?! Oh, I have to ask you something now and be honest; do you want me to sing Careless Whisper or Lady In Red?
Joey: How can you say that?! The Mets have no closer!
Joey: You shut up! (To Phoebe and Rachel) I love arguing with her. (To Erin) Ill be right back.
Rachel: Okay? Wait okay, tell-tell me that you like him, please? I mean tell me that you like him.
Erin: Look, hes a really great guy and I know that you really want this to work out, but I just dont see this having a future.
Rachel: But you said that you liked him! I mean what happened?! Did ya just change your mind?!
Phoebe: No spark? Didnt you sleep together?
Erin: I really dont think he does. And yknow what? Maybe you guys could help clue him in. Yknow, tell him Im-Im not interested in a serious relationship or something.
Phoebe: Yeah, you mean like that youre kind of a loner.
Phoebe: Yeah, and maybe that youre a real (She says something in Italian, and it doesnt matter what she said. Its not important so I dont need everyone who speaks Italian telling me what she said.)
Phoebe: Oh well, I guess Italian isnt one of the four languages you speak.
Joey: (returning) Hey! You wanna go?
Joey: Okay. See you guys later.
Joey: (whispers to Phoebe and Rachel) Hey, thank you so much. (They both exit.)
Ross: Yes? Yes?! How can I help you?
Ross: Oh-oh, youre-youre fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, (Grabs a book from the shelf behind him) perhaps Dr. Chester Stocks musings on the Smiledon Californicus?
Ross: Ah Ah Get out of here! (The couple retreats. Ross starts looking through the previously mentioned book as a beautiful woman walks into the section.) Uh, meeting someone? Or-or are you just here to brush up on Marions views on evolution?
Woman: Im sorry, who are you?
Woman: Ross Geller, why do I know that name? Its uhWait! (Grabs his book off of the shelf.) Did you write this?
Ross: Yes! Youre the person who checked out my book?!
Woman: Yknow, you look nothing like I wouldve thought. Youre youre so young.
Phoebe: Oh really? She said she wants to go away with you?
Joey: Where are you gettin this?
Phoebe: Hey Joey, yknow what? You are way to good for her.
Rachel: Yeah and honey I promise next time that I will just say good-bye and tell em youre not looking for a relationship.
Rachel: Do you want some pancakes?
Monica: Janice, what umm, what are you doing here?
Janice: Well umm, I thought I was going to go back to my apartment but then I just felt I couldnt really be alone tonight. (Joey walks into view of the open door behind Janice, sees her, gets a terrified look on his face, and flees in horror.) I was wondering if I could maybe stay here with you, just I really feel that I need to be with family.
Chandler: Arent you just a tinsy bit curious?
Janice: (starting to cry) Do you have any tissues?
Chandler: Is that what youre thinking about right now?
Janice: Hey you guys, umm do either one of you want to get in there before I take my bath.
Chandler: Janice, Im sorry but umm, you cant stay here tonight.
Chandler: Honestly? Our apartment is a hotbed for electromagnetic activity. Now Monica and I have been immunized, but sadly you have not.
Janice: Okay, Im going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. (Makes some weird sound) Do you have a cat? Cause its already happening. (Makes a nasal sound) Do you hear that? (She keeps making the nasal sound.)
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! You have to go!
Monica: Because Chandler still has feelings for you!
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can.
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Ross: (to the guard) Dont sweat it, Ive got this section covered. Yeah, in fact Ive got this little baby (Turns on a mini-flashlight) to shine in peoples eye(The guard walks away)Okay, see you later.
Wendy: So, if you were home right now, what would you be doing?
Director: I dont see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Phoebe: Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too!
Phoebe: Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room.
Monica: Look, there's Chandler. You knew, that stupid friend of Ross'. Said I'm fat. You know I've already lost 4 pounds!
Phoebe: Umm, hey Rach, can I ask you something?
Woman: Oh hey, how are you?
Chandler: Yeah! You graduated Magma Ku Laude, right?
Rachel: Yeah, and he does it every year! That's why he's sending you to that play! That's why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory!
Phoebe: Good. Oh oh! Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys.
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones up with shock waves, but they're to close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra
Chandler: Hey, y'know what you should do? You should take her back to the 1890's, when that phrase was last used.
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
Phoebe: You remember her from my birthday party two years ago. Shes yeah, like, average height, medium build, bald...
Quartet: (singing) And you know who will be there to support... you?! Your one and only boyfriend...
Phoebe: Oh, do you need a hug? You dont have to bring me anything!
Ross: You're not serious, I mean, you really... you really talk to it?
Monica: All right, big brother. (holds up two erm revealing articles of clothing) Which of these do you think would make your little sister look hotter, so your best friend would want to do her?
Monica: But, you see, it's just... this night has to go just perfect, you know? And, well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress.
Joey: What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you cant tell me last night didnt mean something to you. I-I was there, youre not that good an actress.
Rachel: Thanks, you can just put it on the table.
Monica: (hands Chandler a bag) Chandler, here you go, got your traditional Thanksgiving feast, you got your tomato soup, your grilled cheese fixin's, and your family size bag of Funyuns.
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
Rachel: Ross youre not listening to me, I dont have time to stop.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you so much!
Monica: Hi, nice to meet you!
Chandler: Well, I suppose Id have to say you!! But, what if were watching a movie in here?
Ross: I think he's been relaxing enough, thanks to you and Fireball.
Rachel: When you're sick, you do whatever you can to make yourself feel better! (she closes her robe)
Phoebe: No thats what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Monica: No its not! You want it, youre gonna have to win it!
Rachel: You are not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Ross: Oh my God! I-I see what this is! You are in love with Rachel!
Chandler: I always thought having a heart attack was natures way of telling you to die! (Phoebe glares at him.) But youre not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but youre not gonna die today. I wish I was dead.
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
PHOEBE: I'm not gonna. But you know what's cool though? Ok, if you had a friend named Pete, then I could say, 'Oh yeah, I know Pete, he's friends with my brother.'
Chandler: Oh yes, somebody just said, "Can you hear anything?"
Ross: Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each others hometowns? Why dont you (Motions that they should learn everyones hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-whats going on?
Joey: Look, Ross look, Im on board about this totally honesty thing, I am, just not about stuff thats gonna get you in trouble.
Phoebe: Right there! That's why I'm marrying you!
Hums While He Pees: Hey uh, I dont mean to be presumptuous but I have these two tickets to the ballroom dancing finals tomorrow night if you want to go?
Phoebe: You apologize to the tree right now or I am calling for backup. (The woman calls her bluff.) (Screaming at no one in particular) Backup! Backup!!
Phoebe: You missed a belt loop.
Chandler: You are a frightening, frightening man.
Ross: Okay, now just remember everything I taught you and youll be fine. Okay? Here we go. Ready Set
Rachel: Well, you should have.
CHANDLER: And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard. [throws water in his face]
Tag: Rach, Im sorry, but you didnt give me any contracts!
Rachel: I'm doing just fine! God, Tiffany, you smell so great!
Jill: Oh, thats so great! Okay, Im really gonna do this! I dont know how to thank you guys.
Ross: Can we, can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along, huh? You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. (gasps) You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest.
Monica: Im just having one of those days where you realize youre in a dead-end relationship!
Cecilia: Oh youre right. Thank you! Whats your name again?
Joey: Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings?
Ross: Hey, what took you guys so long? Your cab left when ours did!
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Chandler: So- you can tell?
Monica: Okay. Oh but Joey, come over later because Im going to teach you to make a bird feeder out of just a pine cone and some peanut butter.
Rachel: (to him) Hi! Is my misery amusing to you?
Charlie: Actually.. It's stuff you left at my apartment.
Rachel: You remember not having sex in high school, right?
Phoebe: What were you modeling for?
WOMAN: You know, I uh, I couldn't help but overhear what you just said, and I think it's time for you to forget about Rose, move on with your life...how 'bout we go get you a drink?
Monica: So what are you gonna be?
RACHEL: Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
Joey: Whoa, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's breaking up with you.
Monica: Thank you! (He tries the door again and Monica glares at him.)
Monica: Oh and you know what I want!
ROSS: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) Come on out, honey! I'm telling you look good! (turns around, and under his breath, to the rest of the guys) Tell her she looks good, tell her she looks good.
Joey: No, no. He said "When are you gonna grow up and start being a mom?"
Eric: Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sisters beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, shes a porn star. (Chandler breaks his pencil in half)
Joey: (to the fan) So, you saw me on Days Of Our Lives huh? Want me to, want me to do a little Dr. Drake Remoray for ya?
Ross: Hey, what are you talking about? I'm fine!
Mona: Im not sure yet. Why didnt you just tell me about all this?
Chandler: (To Monica) Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and dont talk to anyone.
Chandler: Uhh yeah. Yeah, its (Points down the hall) right, right down there. (When he has Bob looking down the hall, he turns around and knocks his nameplate off of his door.) Right there, yeah. Can I ask you why?
Monica: No you don't.
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
Ross: Laugh all you want but uh, she actually left me a message saying shed like to go out again.
Ross: But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..?
Ross: Joey, we just saw you come in. You ran past us on the stairs.
Chandler: Oh my goodness! Where did you hide it?
Sarah: But you just said "What's mine is yours"?
Eric: Oh my God, youre the sister!
Joey: Well, I-I just, I just it was going to be like a really cool robot, yknow? Like the terminator or uh, when I first saw you.
Ross: You know what, he's a big boy, I'm sure he'll find us, ok?
Guru Saj: I dont know, whats a koondis with you? (starts laughing as if that joke was funny, Ross only looks at him, and he stops) Please, lie down! Ive got a sav that oughta shrink that right up.
PHOEBE: Alright, here, you have to hold this. [hands Chandler a piece of paper]
Chandler: You remember Janice.
Rachel: Come on you gotta have one!
Chandler: Yknow, I-I could see how this could happen, y'know youre up there every night, youre naked, touching, kissing.
Ross: Surely you can think of something good.
PHOE: Yeah. Oh, OOOH, yeah, you know, did you notice how he always starts his stories with, um, OK, 'I was soooo wasted,' or, 'Oh, we were soooo bombed,' or, ummm, ooh, ooh, 'So I wake up, and I'm in this dumpster in Connecticut.'
Phoebe: Hey you guys, guess what?
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Rachel: Wait, wait, Chandler, this is what you're havin' for Thanksgiving dinner? What, what, what is it with you and this holiday?
Joey: Me too. I mean I havent thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didnt feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward.
Monica: Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she she wished me good luck.