words in movies
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Joey: Oh hey, do you still have their final exams?
Joey: Oh, cause you can just match the evaluation to the exam with the same handwriting and boom, theres your admirer. (Ross is stunned.)
Joey: Oh, well think of it like this, when youre 90
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Joey: Hey Chandler! Yknow that girl you went to college with who-who became a movie director?
Joey: Oh well listen, anyway shes directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition!
Joey: No-no-no, please-please Chandler I-I-I would owe you so much!
Chandler: You do owe me so much. You owe me three thousand, four hundred
Joey: Hey-hey dude, why are you changing the subject? Why? Will you make the call or what?
Joey: All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Joey: (angrily) Thursday! Look if you need help remembering think of like this, the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?!
Chandler: (sarcastically) Thank you.
Chandler: You just thought of that in there?
Monica: Youre on the phone!
Rachel: (on phone) Oh my God! Oh my God! Thank you! (Hangs up) That was the fire department, there was a fire at our place!
Chandler: What are you smiling about? What is so funny?
Burt: (another professor) Wow! It looks like you were very generous with your grades this semester! (Ross frantically starts to change some as a female student, Elizabeth, approaches.)
Ross: Oh thank you. Thanks very much. (Leans up against the board and on a thumbtack.) Ow! (He pulls away.)
Elizabeth: Uh, Im a little embarrassed about calling you a hottie on my evaluation
Ross: That was you?
Elizabeth: Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. Youre a teacher. Im a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?
Elizabeth: Oh, because I was thinking, the semesters over; youre not my teacher anymore.
Elizabeth: (checks her grade) Oh, yknow what? Forget it, you already gave me an A.
Joey: (to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?
Monica: Joey! Hes working! (To Chandler) You would look good in that.
Fireman #1: So uh, youre not gonna be able to live here for a while, you ladies have a place to stay?
Rachel: (stands up) Wow! Oh-okay, look pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now! But if you give me your number I will call you some other time.
Chandler: Have you figured out what started the fire Mr. Fireman?
Fireman #1: Well uh, do either of you smoke?
Fireman #1: No-no-no, do you uh light candles? Burn incense?
Chandler: (on phone) Oh thats great! Good for you.
Chandler: Okay! So yeah, maybe we can get together umm (Joey mimes throwing something in the air, catching it, rolling it out, putting it in an oven and cutting it.) Can you hold for one second please? (To Joey) What?!
Joey: When youre off the phone, do you wanna get a pizza?
Monica: Wow! So, now youre going on a date with this girl?
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Monica: Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
Monica: You dated her!
Joey: Hey, you wanna do Joey a favor, maybe you go out with Joey. (He turns around to see Chandler glaring at him.)
Dana: Apparently Howies editing now. Yeah, he-he-he calls me up and asks me if he can edit my new movie. Can you believe that?! Yknow I-I-I havent spoken to him in like ten years and he asks me for a favor!
Dana: No, no "How you doing?" Man, I mean not even a cup of coffee first!
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
Phoebe: Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess (To Rachel) you should get to stay here.
Phoebe: Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room.
Monica: So Rach! Youre the first guest at Hotel Monica! Umm, youll just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning. And I thought I would bring them to you, yknow, in bed. Oh, you have been through so much.
Elizabeth: Oh please! It was such a big class! You never even noticed me!
Ross: What? Of course I did! You uh, you sat next to Sleepy Sleeperson.
Ross: Oh uh, I had trouble remembering everyones name, so I-I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly von Brownshirt.
Elizabeth: Oh yeah. So umm, did you have a nickname for me?
Elizabeth: Yes you did! What was it?
Ross: Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-Im having a great time! Yknow how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but its not. I mean its not at all.
Phoebe: So did you sleep well last night?
Monica: Now there you go! I wouldnt want my best guest to strain her eyes!
Monica: Does that smell bother you?
Monica: Well you let me know if you can, because yknow I can bake a pie to cover it.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Monica: Well Ross, you be careful now. You dont want to get a reputation as yknow Professor McNailshisstudents.
Joey: Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean whats more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart.
Joey: You couldnt do it?!
Monica: What?! Youre going out with her again!
Monica: Joey! You didnt even know her!
Chandler: Great story again! The yarns that you weave! Woo-hoo-hoo!
Dana: Wow. Oh, I am really flattered, but I just I dont feel that way about you.
Dana: Im sorry Chandler, yknow you are such a sweet guy and I, I dont want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better.
Chandler: Well maybe there is one thing you can do.
Dana: Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie?
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Monica: But you should eat them now because theyre hot from the oven.
Monica: (opening the door) What are you doing?
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!
Ross: What do you want to do now? Huh? You wanna go get a drink?
Ross: Oh, you have some studying to do?
Elizabeth: What are you doing?
Ross: Nothing, Im-Im just, Im so comfortable with you!
Elizabeth: Do you not want to be seen with me?
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
Lydia: Arent you in my Popular Culture class?
Ross: Thats right Lydia, Elizabeth here is a student and uh, were dating. And you may frown upon that, but were not gonna hide it anymore.
Mel: You are so fired.
Burt: Theyre gonna fire you! You cant date a student! Its against the rules.
Joey: Hey, here you go. (Hands her another one.)
Chandler: (To Joey) So, you busy Thursday?
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (Joey puts him down.) What are you gonna do to me if you get the part?
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Okay, you have to switch with me! Monica is driving me crazy!
Phoebe: No but at Monicas you can eat cookies over the sink!
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Elizabeth: For what its worth I did appreciate you standing up for me. It felt really nice. It kinda made me like you even more.
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Elizabeth: Just hearing you describe it as forbidden, its really hot.
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?
Monica: Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to. (to Chandler) He just happened to call.
ROSS: Oh, thank you, thanks. So uh, how was your night last night?
RACHEL: What you got there? Something else that's not yours that you can break?
Phoebe: Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! (Answering the phone.) Go!! Whos this? (Listens) Oh okay, youre gonna like working for me. Whats your name? (Listens) What kind of name is Brendy? I Whatever Stop talking! All right, from now on your name is Joan. You can pick your own last name.
The Professor: Do you have a moment to talk about your lecture?
Chandler: Hey, come on, you came through, you did what you had to do. That is very dad.
Phoebe: So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey?
Rachel: Yeah, yeah and you know what, I know she's gonna wanna run again, I just don't know how to get out of it, I mean, I live with her.
Monica: All right, Rachel, I know-I know you think I'm crazy, please, before you tell him you love him, just-just try to find one person who thinks this is a good idea. Because I bet you, you can't.
Waitress: Can I get you some coffee?
SUSIE: Well I was thinking it would be um, kind of sexy if you wore mine tonight, at dinner.
Phoebe: You know, the strippers, and the guys dancing, and you know, pee-pee's flying about.
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Chandlers knees. Chandlers ankles. Chandlers ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, youre all set.
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Joey: Oh-no-no-no, you are! You do this, you give me the great advice, and hey listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday about focusing on one woman, Im gonna do that.
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im sorry I just couldnt tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And yknow we got to talking and I
RYAN: We can't scratch. You know we can't, we'll scar.
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Chandler: Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?
Monica: What are you, animals? It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon!
Ross: Come on Rach, you dont have what, ten minutes?
Joey: Come on, season tickets! Season tickets, do you know what that means?
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
Phoebe: Oh, well that's ok. I think you and I will do much better if you're just... here as a bridesmaid.
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
RACHEL: (to Ross) Ok.� So now, I think Emma is probably down for the night, but if you need anything Ross . . .
Rachel: Oh, I can not believe you didnt tell me!
JOEY: Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again. CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house. JOEY: Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care. CHANDLER: Yeah. [Joey walks out and after a few seconds comes back in and gives Chandler a big hug. He then leaves for good and Chandler is left alone in his apartment.] CLOSING CREDITS
Ross: Look, I was nervous! You guys had me all worried I was going to be boring! I got up there and they were all like staring at me. I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out.
Ross: You guys.
Phoebe: Oh, we're just... we're sad to go so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel. (hugs the wall) I love you... Paradise Hotel, Golf resort and Spa... (she walks away from the wall)
Joey: You got screwed.
Bitsy: The woman you what? (Phoebe overheard what Michael said and now enters the room)
MR. GELLER: Uhh, naa, no no no, I, I must be thinking of someone else, uh, maybe me. Don't you have some folding to do? Go fold dear. Fold. You fold. [shuffles her into her room]
Phoebe: Anyway, you did what you had to do. I'm okay.
Joey: Sure! As long as they dont find out you can keep whatever you want! And I want you to have it.
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
Ross: Yeah, y'know what? I'll take it myself, thank you! (He signs the form and hands it back to the salesman.) All right Rach, let's go! (He picks up one end of the couch.)
Phoebe: I know you didnt, I was talking about Monica.
Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. Youre 18, okay, shes 44, when youre 36, shes gonna be 88.
RACHEL: This is Joey, and Phoebe, and this is Chandler, and you remember Ross.
Phoebe: Oh, you're no ordinary roommate are you?
Monica: Do you wanna live outside?! Because its gettin cold! (To Phoebe) She gets tons of catalogs and umm, shell fold down the pages of the things she thinks that Id like.
Monica: Wow! Thats great! Dad must really like you, he doesnt ask just anyone to play.
Chandler: Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room. (The receptionist glares at him.)
Joshua: Oh, that-that would be great. So you didnt even get to Italy?
Rachel: Oh no, Im sorry, you look a lot different from the last time I-I saw you.
Paul: Thank you! Thank you so much!
Ross: Eh, you think? I mean, you went out with a guy who improved the accuracy of radiocarbon dating by a factor of 10!
Rachel: Oh and it was great to see you too. And you look fantastic, although you missed a button.
CHANDLER: Monica, I feel like you should have German subtitles.
Ross: Hey-hey have you ever locked yourself in a TV cabinet VD boy?!
Chandler: Oh, just hanging out, talkin about uh, websites. (Joey laughs.) Yeah, we saw this really interesting website about marriage and how totally unnecessary it is and how its just a way for the government to keep tabs on you.
Lauren: Ill see you tomorrow. (she kisses him full on the mouth.)
Chandler: No-no-no! I am the king of bad Thanksgivings. You can't just swoop in here with your bad marriage and take that away from me.
Rachel: No way. No way did you do this.
Monica: How do you do that?
Monica: You know Paul?
Phoebe: Hey! Hey, did you get your invitation to Rosss wedding?
Chandler: Oh, how well you know me...
Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Ross: You got a job?
Rachel: Thank you.
The Salesman: Well you, her, I mean, she's very y'know. And you're like y'know.
Ross: Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me...
Monica: All right, you ready?
Monica: You can, I know you can!
Chandler: SoIf you wear that youll make mine less special.
MONICA: Doctor, can I see you for just a minute please? My brother has a slight phobia about needles.
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry! Do you need the phone?
Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.
Monica: (trying desperately to change the subject) So, Ross, what's going on with you? Any stories? (Digs her elbow into his hand.) No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?
Monica: Oh, so you finally took it out of the marina huh?
Chandler: I always liked you, Ken. (takes a cigarette)
Chandler: (coming up under center, just like a real quarterback does, and puts his hands between Rosss legs.) Twenty-three!! Seventy-four!! (Ross stands up and looks at him) You wanna go shotgun?
Monica: You be okay?
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
Chandler: (realizes what Ross just said and the implications to him) I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you.
Monica: Cause if you do that means youd be cancelling it for me, and were just friends.
Rachel: Hey, look, you guys, I'm going for anything here, OK? I cannot be a waitress anymore, I mean it. I'm sick of the lousy tips, I'm sick of being called 'Excuse me...'
Joey: And Chandler I cant believe I let you pay for this one. (They hug and he whispers in his ear.) Thanks man.
Chandler: No, because youre not a grandmother!
Joey: (proud) I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?
JOEY: Oh, can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer?
Mr. Waltham: In a moment, please, Im in the middle of a task. And you have a customer.
Monica: You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleecker. Could you pick them up for me?
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
Phoebe: It's ok. I thought of the perfect lie for you. It's easy to remember and doesn't invite a lot of questions. You weren't at the parade because you had a family emergency.
Phoebe: Yes. Yes! Fine! I am someone! You want me to say it? I have doubts! (Pause) I'm sorry! (Puts her head down.)
Monica: Its good to see you too.
Rachel: But, Pheebs, you can still use the copy machine where I actually work. But, just come by at lunch so my boss doesnt see you. Cause Kim will just freak out and she already doesnt like me very much.
Ross: This is helping your career?! Huh? I thought you wanted to be an actor not the creator of crazy lawsuit game!
Rachel: Monica...would you please tell Joey that he is a pig?
Chandler: (To Ross) Youre going down.
ROSS: No, no, uh, it's not what you think. It's um the other thing.
Rachel: Yeah! Wait a minute, its been a long time that Ive been single. How come you never offered this before?
Ross: No I didn't, and you want to know why? Because your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you.
Phoebe: (muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... (I tired but the rest is unintelligible).
All: Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!