words in movies
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
Ross: You'd better hope not because I just read what you put on your page today.
Monica: Alright, wait a second, why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are as... (reads from the screen) "gay as the day is long"?
Ross: You've really crossed the line here, but that's okay, it's ok 'cause I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software and a stack of gay porn. That's right! Your coming out is about to get real graphic.
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
Monica: And now your cell.
Monica: This is your cellphone?
Monica: This is your current cellphone?
Monica: Phoebe, where's your purse?
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
Monica: Oh wow wow wow!! Make room for your friend! (sits herself down between them)
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Chandler: Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dead .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
Rachel: Then what's that big lump under your covers?
Mike: It can't be any harder than this... I mean, If I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I... I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you move, everything about you. If I had known the last time I kissed you would have been the last time... I never would have stopped.
Manny: Your pants are undone!
Tom: Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon, I was in your class.
Chandler: Oh yes, yes... let me... take your coat.
Tom: What? You... You... Oh! Can I ask you a personal question? Ho-how do you shave your beard so close?
Jack: I told that guy who answered your phone.
Monica: You know thats nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!
Chandler: Joey, why is your cable out?
Woman: Wow, so your child is a big fan of the Waldo books too?
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Im so sorry to barge in on your Valentines, but I had to get away from all the yelling. Mona is dumping Ross.
PHOEBE: But, your Rachel wasn't whiny enough.
Petrie: Loved your Stevie Wonder last night.
Rachel: So? You guys are all sleep deprived. I dont see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet. Oh God. (Starts to cry harder.)
Chandler: Yes! Its flown into your blouse and youd better undo your buttons lest it sting you!
Ross: (pause) Ross? I... I grew up on your block! We had Thanksgiving together last year... I had a baby with your sister!
Phoebe: Okay, your highness.
Emily: But Ross, Im such having a great time! Your sister has just been telling me that you used to dress up like little, old ladies and hold make-believe tea parties.
Monica: Why?! To celebrate your relationship! To solidify your commitment! To declare your love for one another to the world!
Receptionist: I am sorry Mr. Bing, there's no record of your reservation in the computer.
Joey: All rightoh! Listen, I know this is your party, but Id really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
Monica: Frannie was the one who found your Playboys and showed them to mom.
RACHEL: Ok, doggie get the- aahhh. Ok go get the sandwich, get the sandwich doggie. [dog ignores the sandwich] Good doggie get the sandwich, get the...ok, Joey, the dog will lick himself but he will not touch your sandwich, what does that say?
Ross: Th-th-that's all it is, a third nipple. Y'know? Just your run-of-the-mill third nipple. Y'know? You can take it off. Just slice that baby right off!
BIG BULLY: Hehehehey, isn't that the guy who used to wear your hat?
Hayley: (laughs) your welcome again, I'm gonna make some coffee can I get you anything?
Monica: Okay, Ben, I wont tell your daddy that you had ice cream for dinner, if you dont tell about our little bonking incident.
Joey: Yes I do! And were gonna go out, were gonna have a good time, and take your mind off of childbirth and c-sections and-and giant baby heads stretching out
PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?
Rachel: Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you?
Don: Your food is fantastic! Wow, I really want to talk to you about your menu, once I get some coffees first. Um, anyone want any?
Phoebe: All right so Earl, lets just forget about the people at the office, okay? There-theres gotta be someone else in your life worth sticking around for! What about-what about your family, your friends, or maybe your girlfriend?
PHOEBE: What if the husband person is the wrong guy, and you are the right guy. I mean you don't get chances like this all the time, if you don't meet her now, you're gonna be kicking yourself when your 80, which is hard to do, and that's how you break a hip.
Rachel: Yes your honor, and here are, are forms, all filled out.
PHOE: Yeah, by the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle.
Chandler: Okay, look I need your help, I dont know what to get her for Valentines Day.
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
Chandler: Hey! Stop staring at my wife's legs! No no! Stop staring at your sister's legs!
Ross: So then if-ifI mean if you think about it, this is all (Pause.) your fault.
MONICA: Well for your information he happens to be one of the brightest, most sophisticated, sexiest men I've ever been with.
ROB: Anyway, I schedule performers for the childrens libraries around the city and I was just thinking, have you ever thought about playing your songs for kids?
Benjamin: Dr. Biely, your proposal includes some field work. Where might that take place?
JOEY: Alright open your eyes. [opens his eyes to see two black leather recliners and a big screen TV]
Ross: This is helping your career?! Huh? I thought you wanted to be an actor not the creator of crazy lawsuit game!
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
Chandler: (entering) Oh hey Rachel, sweetheart? You have got to tell the post office that you have moved. Okay? We are still getting all your bills and stuff. (Hands her all of her bills and stuff.)
Chandler: See ya. (Ross exits, and Chandler moves over next to Joey, laughing.) Have fun planning your mellow bachelor party.
Tim: Well, youve got a little scratch on your cornea, your gonna have to wear a patch for a couple of days.
Doctor Connelly: I'm sorry there wasn't better news from your test last week but I wanted to talk to you about your options.
MONICA: Ok, the first person's most embarassing memory is, 'Monica, your party sucks.' Very funny.
Ross: (very bored, he tries to avoid the conversation speaking to Charlie) So, where did you get your undergraduate degree?
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
Ross: Oh well, it sounds to me like your family is ready to uh, rediscover its Scottish roots.
Policeman: Your license?
Rachel: What? What? Hes interested in you. He-he likes your hair, he just wants to know how you got here.
Mr. Waltham: You want a piece of me, sir? Is that what your saying? (Pointing at Jack and poking him) You want a piece of me?
Chandler: When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line.
Man: (singing) Mister Pretensous, (Monica stands up in the background) you think there's no one finer, well but your poems are unpublished, and you work in a diner.
ROSS: Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in. It's like day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma.
Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
Ross: Are you sure shes in the cat, or have you been taking your grandmas glycoma medicine again?
Monica: Kinda like your Barca lounger.
Fake Monica: Well, that's just probably 'cause of your Amish background.
Rachel: Yeah. So don't move, okay? Just stay here and... (nods towards Ross) maybe close your blinds at night.
Phoebe: And you... Your home is lovely.
Joey: Listen, you know how uh, when youre wearing pants and you lean forward I check out your underwear?
The Doctor: This isn't your toe, this is a small, very cold piece of carrot.
Rachel: Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!!
Rachel: And you've got lenses! But you hate sticking your finger in your eye!
Monica: Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs.
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the score board. Someone has a special question to ask. (on the screen there’s written ‘Julie, will you marry me?’ and goes on to show a guy kneeling down in front of a girl holding out a ring to her)
Rachel: (on the phone) Mum, please!I know you love your new lips, but I can barely understand you! Would you, please, just let me say goodnight to my daughter?
MR. DOUGLAS: Uh, listen Bing, I received your memo. So, we're not gonna receive the systems report until next Friday?
Phoebe: Why? Just 'cause you're too lazy to get up off your touchie?
Joey: You got it! And the rabbis beard, 100% horsehair. Nice catch C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Pauses as he waits for C.H.E.E.S.E.s next line.) Its your line C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Suddenly C.H.E.E.S.E. goes crazy and starts flinging its arms and advancing on Joey behind the desk.) Wayne! Wayne!!
Monica: No, I-I havent seen your pink shirt.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
MONICA: Hi sweetie, look before I forget, did I leave my diaphram at your place? Hi mom. [she starts throwing oranges at Ross who's looking pleased with himself]
Rachel: Oh yeah, I'm jealous. "Oh Gavin, please, please look at my ass". (Gavin starts looking) Stop looking at my ass! I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate, ok? This is a work environment, she's your subordinate.
Chandler: Emma, you even know it's your birthday today? You're one! One-year-old, that's little.
Chandler: Inever borrowed your Walkman.
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, I got one! (She sits up and the cushion she was leaning against falls off of the balcony.) Anyway- The valentine Tommy Rollerson left in your locker was really from me.
Rachel: Seriously, your dad doesnt like pranks.
Chandler: Can I use your phone?
Ross: Chandler, have you ever put on a black cocktail dress and asked me up to your hotel room?
Ross: The carbon, its messy, I mean it gets on your fingers and causes, the, the ah, night blindness.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, for a really great stew you just y'know, stick your head in between em.
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
Chandler: Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)
Emily: Dont you point your pants at me! (She throws them on the floor.) We have no choice! Anywhere thats half-decent wouldve be booked months ago, Ross dont you understand? This is our wedding Im talking about.
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. (sees Kate is watching, he turns Lauren so that he can talk directly to Kate, but still look like he is talking to Lauren) Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, youve got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, Im gonna want to meet her.
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Mona: Oh hey, thanks again for showing me your semi-precious stone collection. It was amazing! (She leaves.)
Rachel: (Sighing) Well I-I think your wrong.
Joey: Man! When you said it was a problem about your boss and the baby I figured it was something about maternity leave.
Ross: And thats not against your oath?!
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
Rachel: I-I dont want your job. I-I dont. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I dont even know how to use my keycard. (The elevator stops. Ralph steps on.)
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. (The chick clucks.) You'll get your turn!
Joey: Come on Pheebs! I cant take this anymore! Let-let me make it up to you. Huh? (Starts singing.) Ground control to Major Tom. Commencing countdown, engines on. Take your protein pills and put your helmet on!
Joey: Hey hey! You dye your hair!
Monica: Okay, I have to get that. Now when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone. Thanksgiving is over. The Vein has spoken.
Rachel: Monica, your Sweet Sixteen was like a million years ago.
Phoebe: Oh, this is so exciting! You get your picture back up on the wall of fame! Eek!