words in movies
Written by: Jeffrey Astrof and Mike Sikowitz. Transcribed by: Ruth Curran
Phoebe: Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. (Monica gestures at Phoebe to shut up; Joey looks surprised but pleased) Looks like I was second to last.
(While looking at the floor for the cat, Rachel runs into a pair of legs. She slowly gets up and sees a gorgeous Italian hunk holding the cat. Who, by the way, you'll hate very, very soon. The man. Not the cat.)
Monica: Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesnt show up by then, then just come on home.
(While Phoebe's bear is still in the lead, it is now closely followed by Joey's robot. Chandler and Monica's dog however, sits down, barking... and does a backflip.)
Chandler: Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget. (Monica is not amused by that statement.) Seriously, good luck marrying me.
(And with that, we start a series of flashbacks to Thanksgiving's of years gone by.)
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
Rachel: What am I making him by the way?
Written by: Wil Calhoun & Scott Silveri Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Scott Silveri & Shana Goldnerg-Meehan. Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Rachel: Wha!? What!? Come on! I found the hardware store all by myself!
Teleplay by: Wil Calhoun Story by: Andrew Reich and Ted Cohen Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. Definitely, well it definitely took me by surprise, but Im okay.
Monica: Oh, about five minutes. Right now theyre interviewing his opponent. Apparently he trains by going to Iran and pulling the arms off thieves.
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Hey you guys! Whats happening?
Story by: Adam Chase Teleplay by: Michael Curtis & Gregory S. Malins Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Dude! I am trying to sleep! (Shrugs to say, "Whats up with that?")
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
Bitsy: By the way, do you know who's moving back into town? Tom and Sue's daughter Jen.
Mrs. Tedlock: Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to stop by his office at the end of the day.
(He thinks about it and decides to join in by turning over a chair and continue ransacking the place.)
[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Chandler: Yeah, we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired.
Chandler: You cant tell, but Im trying to break the tension by mooning you guys!
Teleplay by: Michael Curtis Story by: Seth Kurland Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
(Robin interrupts her again by complaining loudly to Billy as the camera cuts to them.)
Chandler: All right, look, if you insist on wearing that, in public, yknow, youre gonna spend the rest of the afternoon all by yourself.
Monica: What does she mean by 'involved'?
(Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the pockets.)
(They kiss but are interrupted by a knock on the door.)
Written by: Seth Kurland Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Monica: Oh God! Hes gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date!
Mr. Waltham: (walking by) Yes.
(He throws down his plate and runs to the wine cellar, Monica is about to follow him but is intercepted by Rachel.)
Monica: Thats because their nerves are probably deadened from being so stupid. But hey, y'know if you dont believe me, please, by my guest.
Written by: Mark Kunerth Produced by: Robert Carlock and Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa Final check by Kim
Rachel: Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear your head, I think itd be really good.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Written by: Wil Calhoun Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Ross: Isn't Rachel supposed to be back by now?
(They move into kiss but are interrupted by Joey knocking on the door.)
Monica: Honey, sweetie, by the edges.
Monica: (Angrily.) You can let some of them go by!(Judy and Andrea go to the front of the chapel. Joey approaches Monica.)
Chandler: Yeah, that's when if you get the babies out by the end of the month, they give you 2% financing.
Chandler: Sure. (Pause) And listen, thanks for doing that for us, by the way. (Retreats in defeat.)
Monica: Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! (Tries to leave, but is stopped by Rachel.)
Written by: Michael Curtis Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Part I Written by: Michael Borkow Part II Teleplay by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan & Scott Silveri Part II Story by: Jill Condon & Amy Toomin Part I Transcribed by: Eric Aasen Part II Transcribed by: Aaron D. Miller
Written by: Scott Silveri Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Kathy: By being in a box?
Cashier: Oh no-no, Im fascinated by paleontology. Have you read the new Walter Alvarez book?
[Scene: Joannas office, Chandler, still handcuffed to the chair, is looking through the lingerie catalogue by turning the pages with his teeth. The phone rings and Chandler answers it with his nose.]
(Suddenly Ross jumps up from behind the counter armed with a plastic gun. By the way, hes overacting too.)
Monica: Oh, thanks! We'll try to stop by.
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Phoebe: (To Chandler) You're kinda stepping on the song. (She gets ready to play but is stopped by )
(She starts to play her song, but is stopped by Monica.)
Emily: (laughs) Well, I should hope not. Ross knows better than that by now.
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
Written by: Brian Buckner & Sebastian Jones Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Ross: So it said that by the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same number of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically we could download our thoughts and our memories into this computer...
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
[Scene: Monica's restaurant, she is getting inspected by the health department, Phoebe is watching.]
(She puts her hands over her breasts and indicates that the coworkers boob job resulted in one pointing up and one pointing down with her hands by pointing up with one hand and down with the other.)
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are listening to a story being told by Danny and his sister.]
Monica: (on phone) Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. (listens) Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that....
[Cut to the rest stop, Monica and Phoebe are waiting anxiously by the phone as it rings.]
Joey: Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and
Teleplay by: Seth Kirkland Story by: Michael Curtis Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Alicia Sky Varinaitis Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Rachel: You walked around all night in the city by yourself?
Monica: Look at us all dressed up for the big office party! By the way, what are we celebrating?
Ross: Of course it is. Yeah, come on in. Ooh-ooh, go by the window you can pretend to be surfing. (He pretends he's surfing by the window.)
Chandler: Look, for the first time in my life I'm in a real relationship. Okay, I'm not gonna screw that up by y'know, telling the truth.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]
Directed by: Ben Weiss Written by: Mark Kunerth Transcript by: David Buehrle
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
Housekeeper: This is the housekeeper speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses oneself on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.
Rachel: (trying to divert his attention from the window by jumping up and down) HI!! Hi!
(Joey quickly tries to hide Hugsy by throwing it over his head.)
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Adam Chase Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
Chandler: Oh, come on! Its not like this is an everyday occurrence for me! I mean usually Im pretty much just in there by myself.
Chandler: By me?
Joey: Hey, yeah! Then we could do that telephone thing! Y'know, you have a can, we have a can and it's connected by a string!
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Gary: Okay. (He starts to leave.) So I'll come by in a couple hours and pick you up?
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Chandler: Oh, y'know what? The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter.
Phoebe: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!"
Chandler: Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment.
(Ross 'prompts' Chandler by hitting him on the arm.)
Written by: Doty Abrams Transcribed by: Eric Aasen