words in movies
Ross: Hey uh Mon, I saw the Porsche parked out front, can I get the keys? Thought Id take that bad boy out for a little spin.
Monica: Nice work everybody! So much for the yknow, "You can drive it, but dont tell Rachel" plan!
Ross: Look Rach if-if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche Ill be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block.
{Transcribers Note: She puts the key into the ignition, which is on the left side of the steering wheel. Does anyone know why that is? Its a tradition left over from Porsches racing history. The worlds greatest endurance race is the 24 Hours of LeMans. Which is in France and runs for 24 hours straight from noon on Saturday through the dark of night and finishes at noon on Sunday. In the 60s LeMans had a unique start where the drivers would actually start the race outside of the car and across the track. At the start of the race, the drivers would run across the track, get in the car, buckle up, start the car, and drive off. Porsche wanted to reduce the amount of time that took. Since all cars to that point had the ignition switches on the right side of the steering wheel, that required the drivers to use their right hand to grab the seat-belts, put the car in gear and start it. The drivers left hand did nothing. Porsche in order to save a few seconds in a 24-hour race; moved the ignition switches to the left side of the steering wheel so that the driver could start the car with his left hand while grabbing the seat-belts with his right hand. Thats why every Porsche car built since then has the ignition on the left side of the steering wheel.}
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, youd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Yknow its hard enough to be fourteen. Youre skinny. Youre wearing speedoesThat your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and theres your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
Monica: Chandler, youre not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe its time that you let that stuff go. If your fathers not at your wedding youre gonna regret it for the rest of your life.
Chandler: Yeah o-okay, but Im just doing this for you.
Phoebe: I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
Joey: Yeah well next thing you know, hell be telling you that your high heels are good for his posture!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is walking from the bathroom to his bedroom and walks past a pile of Rachels laundry, which just happens to include a selection of panties. He stops, goes back to the basket, looks for Rachel, picks up a lavender thong, and heads for his bedroom. However, he decides he doesnt like his selection and goes back this time picking up a red low-cut silk brief and heads for his room, flexing along the way to prove his masculinity.]
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas and the strip before we arrive at 4 Queens bar, where Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table waiting for the show to start.
Chandler: No! No! I dont want him to know were yet! Im not sure Im ready for that. And besides hes not gonna be too happy to see me either.
Ross: No Rach! Come on! No-no! Yeah, Im sure we wont get arrested for this.
Chandler: Believe me, Ive been saying that for years. Oh my God!
Helena: (singing) For Im loved by a pretty wonderful boy! (Applause.) Hello! And welcome to the show. I see some of our regulars in the audience. And a couple of irregulars. (He starts going into the audience.)
Helena: Well I wouldnt miss it for the world. Oh! Im getting all misty here! Youd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Chandler: Yeah. Thanks for making me do this.
Ross: I mean youre not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
Phoebe: Look, why dont you just pay for it yourself?
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
Rachel: Oh for God sake just pick a piece!
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross and Carol are waiting anxiously for their new partner to arrive.]
Monica: Phoebe, hes gotta be in the room for that to work.
[Ross enters behind Rachel, and look at each other for a moment.]
Joey: Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour.
Ross: Uh-huh. But it was a first for the rest of my building.
Ross: Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, (To Chandler) I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before."
Chandler: So what do you think? I want that guys genes for my kid! Those eyes, those cheeckbones!
Rachel: (looks around for the camera) Okay. Umm, well, first I would like to start by apologizing for kissing you and uh, for yelling at you.
Phoebe: Okay, whatever. Yknow what? I dont have time have time to convince you because hes only here for four hours, and Im gonna go see him! (Gets up and leaves.)
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Rachel: Can I see you in my office for a minute?
Joey: It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level.
Rachel: (pause as she realizes her lame attempt to shift the blame has failed) I am so hot for you right now.
Joey: (angrily) Yeah? Maybe we should talk about that for a little while!
Rachel: So that there will be a decent place for me to sit.
Joey: Where are you going? The vicar wont be home for hours.
Ross: They kept your room for a while.
(Rachel turns for the door and makes the "Wow!" face.)
Mr. Bowmont: What the hell, its for a good cause! All right!
Joey: Ah, Gunther, I cant pay for this right now because Im not working, so Ive had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin for stuff.
RACH: [obviously drunk] I mean, it's a cat, y'know, it's a cat. Why can't they get one of those bugs, y'know, one of those fruitflies, those things that live for like a day or something? [belligerently] What're they called, what're they called, what're they called?
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
Joey: Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition.
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
Mr. Geller: (To Monica) Why dont we take it for a spin?
Chandler: Okay look, don't...don't be mad okay? But after I unpacked the boxes I wanted to do something nice for you, so, I-I-I cleaned the apartment. So I moved everything around and then I forgot where it, where it went back and I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
Chandler: (frustrated) Okay, for the last time. Its not named for each individual man.
Ross: Hop in. (Phoebe hops in.) Get ready for the smoothest ride of your life.
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Joey: Yep. (Starts for Monicas room, but Chandler stops him.)
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
Phoebe: Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Monica: I-I-I wanna thank you all for coming. My family and my friends
Ross: Hey! That was a practical purchase! I needed that car for transportation! Okay? I-I have a child!
Rachel: Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?
Ross: Yeah, I kind of uh, have something else planned for you guys.
CHAN: I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?
Phoebe: Okay, a meat eater. Fine, thats one for you.
Rachel: Ohh, you can say. Come on, I dont want you to feel like you cant tell me things. (Motions for him to sit down.)
Joey: And Chandler I cant believe I let you pay for this one. (They hug and he whispers in his ear.) Thanks man.
Cecilia: No, he already knows that he owns everything in the room! Hes not finding it out for the first time! So, try it again.
Cecilia: But Well now, nows a different time for me. (Starts to cry.)
(Rachel excitedly jumps up and heads for the door.)
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wow! How long were we arguing for?
Rachel: (grabbing a beer out of the chairs fridge) I am so psyched I kept this chair for myself!
Ross: Well, these. These are yours right here. (Pointing to the boxes they just created for her.)
Chandler: No, but Horny for Monica Minister called, wanting to know if we were still together.
Monica: Okay, while were waiting for these pills to kick in, Im gonna sit you down on the couch. Come on. (Phoebe gets up and goes with her.) Get some nice soft pillows under your head, Im gonna turn the TV on and you can watch whatever you want. And ImSit down(She sits down on the couch)gonna make you some tea. And then, Im gonna rub your feet.
Chandler: A freakish thin date with a hanger for her head?
Monica: Phoebe, relax none of that stuff ever happens! They just put it on there for legal reasons!
Joey: Anyway, I started working on what Im going to say for the ceremony, do you wanna hear it?
Ross: Hey! Oh listen, I was just clearing some space for your stuff.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Monica: (entering) Hey guys! Do you wanna look at the song list for the wedding? (They ignore her.) Guys?
Monica: Im sorry. Im sorry. I-I should probably leave you girls alone. (She heads for the bedroom.)
Phoebe: Good for you!
Joey: No! Im up for a Soapie!
Joey: Okay. I got nominated for my part on Days of Our Lives!
Joey: No, no, no! Its real! And it has been since 1998. (Rachel returns from the bathroom.) Hey Rach! Rach! Im up for a Soapie!
Monica: Yeah, you're my husband. I'm not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.
Phoebe: Go for it.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
Joey: What award are you practicing for?
(Chandler and Ross head for opposite ends of the couch.)
Chandler: Easy for you to say; youll be wearing a veil.
Jessica Ashley: No, I try to save that for real awards. Now, if youll excuse me. (She exits.)
Ross: Uh Mr. Morse, can I speak to you for a moment?
Monica: What was it for?
Joey: Uh listen, heres your Soapie. I accepted it for ya. (Hands it to her.)
Chandler: Hey, by any chance did either of pick uh Rachel for your secret Santa, cause I wanna trade for her.
Ross: Yeah, well, this guy at work gave me "Sex for Dummies" as a joke.
Rachel: Hey Pheebs, can I talk to you over here for a second?
Rachel: Were paying for this yknow.
Rachel: Okay. Umm, what should we do for the theme?
Chandler: Yknow I was thinking if we had a a big fight and uh we broke up for a few hours
The Casting Director: Well, the director thinks youre really right for the part and wants to meet you tomorrow.
Phoebe: Well for the regular guy, its bad, but Chandler, Oh dear God!
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Monica: I guess you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! (Runs out.)
Phoebe: Uh-huh, and a little seed money for the party. (Holds up $40.)
Ross: Uh-huh. Yeah I-I have a knack for impressions.
Phoebe: Hmm, yknow theres another word for people like that. Losers!
Rachel: (to the woman) Excuse us for a minute. (They go into the kitchen.) You didnt tell her to come?!
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Monica: For what?
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
Cassie: Yeah! Thank you so much for letting me stay here.
Rachel: All right, fine! But I had too! I had to do it for my career!
Rachel: Oh, Ross, relax. It's probably like two dollars for the first contraction, and then fifty cents for each additional contraction.
[Scene: At a writer's desk. The writer is working on a script for Days of Our Lives.]
PHOEBE: Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.
Chandler: You mean like for award shows?
Chandler: (looks him in the eye) I'm not breaking up with her! (they stare at each other for a while, then Joey blows in his face)
Rachel: Yeah, why is it so hard for you to believe?!