words in movies
(A commercial for the Mattress King, Janices ex-husband, comes on TV.)
Matress King: (on TV) Despair fills the mattress showroom. My kingdom is suddenly without a queen. Im so depressed Im going to slash... my prices!! Check it out! Four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set! Im going medieval on prices!
Monica: I know! And four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set, who cares about the divorce, those babies will sell themselves. (they all stare at her) And Im appalled for you by the way.
Rachel: But honey he calls everybody by a nickname! Okay, look, I know, all right, just one dinner, please, just one night for me, please. I just want him to love you like I do. (Ross looks at her) All right, well not exactly like I do, but, but, if you do come to dinner, Ill love you like I do in that black thing that you like.
Joey: Well, its not a part, no. Im teaching acting for soap operas down at the Learning Extension.
[Scene: Mattress King, Monica and Phoebe are shopping for a new mattress.]
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Phoebe is already there waiting for the delievery guy.]
Joey: Oh, and guess what, I got an audition for All My Children.
Joey: Yeah, its this great part, this boxer named Nick. And Im so, so right for it, y'know, hes just like me. Except hes a boxer, and has an evil twin.
Dr. Green: Excuse me for a moment, will you please, I want to say good night to the Levines, before we go.
Dr. Green: This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here, Ill tell you what, you pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot, all right. (rips up the bill, and throws it at Ross, then leaves)
Student: I was wondering if you would consider coaching me for it?
Rachel: Okay, well cant you just try it one more time Ross? For me? For me?
Rachel: Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I dont wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! (starts to cry)
Phoebe: Im sorry, okay, I-I wasnt looking, and the store says that they wont take it back because you signed for it...
Monica: When did I sign for it?
Chandler: Hey, Im going for sushi does anybody want.. (enters and sees the bed) Whoa-whoa, somebody missed the off ramp.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is greeting her Father for their brunch.]
Dr. Green: Thanks for dinner last night.
Ross: Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson.
Dr. Green: What do you need help for?
Dr. Green: So, why do you let her go to a chiropractor for?
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Jester: Look, its like I told you, theres nothing I can do. You signed for it, Monica Velula Geller.
Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
Monica: It's too late for apologies.
Chandler: A little late for that.
It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see One of them wont do it, but the second one will set you free Tell all your hate and anger, its time to say good-bye And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die! La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Rachel: I'm so happy for you!
Phoebe: Well, I still think that it’s a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! And if you need to, just get an extra plate of fries for the table!
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Rachel: Okay. Thank you! Thank you! BecauseI'm sorry, all right. Because y'know what? She didn't want menot important. The point is, I was right. Your decision. Okay? I was right. (She starts for the door.) (Stops) Your decision.
Rachel: Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I’m... I’m gonna pick up some really good stuff for you.
Agency guy: Do you have any question for Erica?
Rachel: Oh! Really? Do you wanna try some of them on for me?
Phoebe: Okay, oh, and Emma needs a cowgirl outfit for the competition.
Ross: (not getting it) Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I dont care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Monica: Yeah, but the important thing to know about us, is how much we would care for this little baby. (holds up the sonogram)
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Ross: Turns out this sweater is made for a woman.
Joey: Hey! Let me ask you guys something. I have a new headshot taken tomorrow right and the photographer said she thinks Ishould have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?
Chandler: It’s perfect. It’s everything we’ve been looking for.
Chandler: No-ot for me it doesn’t.
Chandler: Thank you so much for agreeing to see us.
(they all look confused and sorry for her)
Phoebe: Well, look, whatever happens, we’re here for you and we love you.
Phoebe: You just did it again. Chandler, your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone!
Joey: I knew he couldn't be with a woman for 45 minutes!!
Ross: You know what, if you wanna look for a house, that's okay.
Rachel: For like a half an hour! Man, you can lie about Sweden!
Rachel: That is totally different for two reasons. One - I didn't know that you knew that. And two, I wasn't some creep staring at his ass, we had a deap meaningful relationship.
(pause before Monica and Chandler speak, they look like they are looking for the right words)
[Scene: The restaurant. Phoebe and Joey are sitting alone at a table for six.]
Joey: Hey, for what its worth, with Rachel I dont think youll ever be just (Makes quote marks.) "anybody."
JOEY: Yeah.� Maybe Michael Jordon will dive for the ball and break my jaw with his knee.
JOEY: No, I don't. It's like, ya know, you work your whole life for somethin' and you think that when you get it it's never gonna be as good as you thought it would be. But this so was. Ya know, it changed everything. Like the other day, I got this credit card application, and I was pre- approved. Huh? I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life.
Mike: Maybe I'll sign for it. Tear it open. Pull out the packing material...
Rachel: Aah! Why? What are these for?
Ross: Seriously you guys, what's going on? What are these for?
Ross: Except for "Match game"...
Joey: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, (Joey from TV) you know that's bad for the paper tray.
Monica: Yeah, we used to perform for our family and friends.
Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.)
Donny: You crossed the line. Joey, describe for Gene these things that have lines. Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. Ready, go!
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Thank you so much for this.
Joey: Yeah! But that is not what they're looking for. (time's finished) OOOH!
Rachel: Pheebs, I... there isn't gonna be any flying about! We actually thought we were a little too mature for stuff like that.
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
Roy: Ooh, boy. You should warn people there's no elevator! I should not have had that Mexican food for lunch.
Chandler: Well... there's surrogacy, but Monica has dreamt her whole life of carrying a child, she has felt that watching a surrogate would be... too hard for her.
Phoebe: I don't care. We're not paying you 300 dollars for this.
Rachel: Yeah, Rachel. And this (points to Monica) is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. (looks around the room as if searching for something more interesting to do).
Monica: Do NOT let me sit in one of those. We'll be here for days.
Ross: (thinks about it for a few seconds) What did you do to my mom?
Phoebe: Maybe, maybe I'll dance for you. (She starts doing a rather suggestive and seductive dance that's silly at the same time.)
Rachel: (still searching) Oh, I know... I know it's been really hard for you.
Rachel: (She considers it for a second) Yeah okay. (She puts her hands around his neck and they start kissing again)
Phoebe: Your last dance. Do it for us.
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Gene: "I'd like to go for a walk", uhm "scratch my belly".
Ross: Because... the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time.
Monica: I mean, who knows how long it's gonna take for someone else to give us a baby? What if, what if no one ever picks us?
Joey: They're ribbed for *your* pleasure.
Joey: No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can!
Monica: I dont believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex?
(Cut to Chandler. He's walking around looking for Ross. He sees him kissing a girl next to a vending machine)
Chandler: No stupid jokes. I thought that was for the actual wedding.
[Scene: Flight 1066 to Athens, Rachel is ordering a drink for Ross and herself.]
Mike: Thanks for coming you guys.
Joey: You know, on the one hand you're happy for them, but on the other hand it's hard to let go.
Mike: You both wanna do it? Uhm... there's only room for one.
Mike: Yeah, yeah. Hey, thanks for doing that.
Joey: So, you know I'm filling in for Phoebe's step dad, tomorrow, right?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Monica: And that's great for you guys, but we want a lawn and a swingset...
Chandler: I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one.
Chandler: Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop!! Swoop!!
Ross: (smiling to himself) Good. I'm just getting some coffee. So I'm alert for the wedding.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, I'm so happy for you honey. (she gives her a kiss)
Ross: Uhm, ministers don't ride the subway for free.
Chandler: Hm-hmm, I told you! (Looks at the clock) I cant believe that Ive only got two hours before I call in sick for work.
Phoebe: As a matter of fact she said that's how I am going to die. (pause ) So, excuse me for being a little skittish.
Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!
Monica: These are for Erica!
Ross: (looking at Rachel entering with Emma) Oh, hi! Hi! Thanks for showing you up thirty minutes late!
Ross: Still-still, let me come... for me.
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Ross: I didnt know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didnt finish the whole letter!
Rachel: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Would you stay here with me for a little while?
Rachel: Ok. (She sits on the bed and Ross sits near her) Thank you for coming with me today.
Erica: Thanks so much for taking me to all those places. I had a great time.
Erica: Thanks so much for showing me around.
Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Rachel: Yeah! Oh by the way, thank you for loaning us Pamela and Yasmine.
Joey: For one thing, the guy on the tape said I was doing a good job!
Ross: Hey, I was looking out for you.
Chandler: All right, but you cant use that again for a whole year. Im in.
[Scene: A restaurant. Ross and Charlie are waiting for her ex-boyfriend, Benjamin Hobart]
Ross: Emma's down for the night.
Director: (to Joey) Good job, little buddy. That was some really good French. But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part.