words in movies
PHOE: Wow. What are you gonna use it for?
MNCA: [reading the paper] There are no jobs. There are no jobs for me.
MNCA: There's an ad for a naked chef?
ROSS: Believe me, I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for ten years now. But now, I'm with Julie, so it's like me and Julie, me and Rachel, me and Julie, me and... [Rachel enters, carrying a tray]... Rachel. Rachel, Rachel.
RTST: No, ma'am. Well, anyhoo, we should be getting our F.D.A. approval any day now, hopefully, in time for Thanksgiving. See, the way we look at it, chocolate already dominates most of your major food-preparation holidays: Easter, Christmas, what have you.
MNCA: Just waiting for it to stop bubbling.
RTST: Well, anyhoo, um, we are looking for a couple of chefs who can create some Thanksgiving-themed recipes. You think you might be interested?
CHAN: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
JOEY: Hey, here's a thought, Ross. [reaches for the computer]
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
CHAN: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica has made food for Phoebe and Rachel to taste.]
CHAN: I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?
JOEY: He broke up with Julie. Well, go hug her, for god's sakes.
CHAN: [squirming] All right, let's get some perspective here, ok? These things, they happen for a reason.
ROSS: [reading his list] Ok, ok, number one: The way you cry at game shows. Number two: how much you love your friends. Number three: the way you play with your hair when you're nervous. Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over. Number five: how great you are with Ben.
RTST: Yeah, well, anyhoo, here is your check. [hands it to her] Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?
ROSS: Look, can, can you do something for me?
RADIO: The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross. Rachel, he wants you to know he's deeply sorry for what he did and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him. (With or Without You plays)
[Rachel seems touched. She pauses for a moment, then picks up the phone and starts to dial. Cut to Ross at his apartment.]
RTST: Hi, thanks for coming in again.
Ross: Yknow, okay. Youre right. It is huge. So why dont we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower?
[Scene: Central Perk, Robert is picking up Phoebe for a date.]
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute, I-I-I, I can't do this. Listen honey, this is, it's not Phoebe's fault. She lent me the earrings, and I lost it. I'm so sorry. Honey, I feel terrible too. (Holds out her arms for a hug.)
Jeannine: (to Monica) All right, I just got changed in thirty seconds so you can be alone with him. You'd better go for it.
Robert: (to Phoebe) So are ready for the gym? Theyve got this new rock climbing wall, we can spot each other.
Chandler: Well, thats pretty much all Im looking for from these people.
Phoebe: Oh no, one of those look for the hidden meaning songs.
Woman: Someone was in the lady's room, I couldnt wait. I left the lid up for ya though.
Rachel: Nooo, hes leaving for a better job.
Rachel: Okay. Honey, I would love for you to go with me. (Ross has a worried look on his face) What?
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
Monica: No Chandler no! No unscheduled stops. You can go when we stop for gas.
Pete: Well ah, the short version is, I ah pursued her for a couple of months, then I gave her a check for 20,000 dollars, and she was mine.
Phoebe: Okay, Jasmine, can you, can you ask Mr. Whiffler if he can wait for like five minutes.
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
Chandler: (running around the apartment pointing out things) Bedroom. Bathroom. Living room. This right here is the kitchen, and thanks for coming by, (opens door) Bye-bye.
Rachel: (Brings Marcel a teddy bear) Marcel, this is for you. It's, uh, just, y'know, something to, um, do on the plane.
Richard: Oh shoot! Maybe next time. (yawns) Thanks for a lovely evening. (shows her out)
Monica: We have to do this. We are playing for women everywhere. Okay, just think about every lousy date that you ever had, okay, every guy who kept on the TV while youre making out...
Kim: Oh don't be sorry, that's part of your job here to give your opinions and then I take credit for them--I'm kidding.
Joey: Itll be great for next weekend. I mean, (in an Irish accent) itll be grrreat.
Rachel: (angrily) None for me.
Ross: For what? For letting you throw me out of your office?
Joey: I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask...
PHOEBE: You know, what I think is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, or. It could be a guy.
Joey: Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work. Yknow? The only problem is, Carls acting is (Does the international hand symbol for so-so.)
Mark: Its for me.
Mischa: (to Phoebe) Sergei, would like to apologise for my behaviour tonight.
Joey: Thanks for stopping by. See ya! (Throws them out and closes the door.) (To Cecilia) I-I am so sorry. I
Dr. Green: So, why do you let her go to a chiropractor for?
JOEY: Hey, this is a little extra somethin' for uh, ya know, always bein' there for me. [hands Chandler a jewelry box]
Chloe: Thats so great for you guys!
JOEY: So, you're not mad at me for getting fired and everything?
Monica: What are you being such a weenie for? So he has a Barbi, big deal. You used to dress up like a woman.
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
Monica: Cause if you do that means youd be cancelling it for me, and were just friends.
Issac: Aw, no problem dude. Y'know we got to look out for each other. Were the same, you and me.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Chandler: Now, Monica, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne...
Monica: So the going for help went well?
[Cut to the living room, Chandler is entering as Monica finishes wrapping her present for him on the kitchen table.]
Joey: Come on!! (motions for Chandler to come with him)
Mr. Waltham: Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding. (He hand a multipage bill to Jack.)
Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing.
Chandler: And thank you for explaining to us what escrow means... I've already forgotten what you said, but thank you.
Monica: For your information, ass munch, I've lost four pounds. Maybe even five with all the dancing. (A guy enters holding a pizza box)
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss.)
Phoebe: Wow, kids. Frank, are you sure youre ready for that?
Leslie: I played Smelly Cat for the people at my old ad agency, they went nuts.
RICHARD: Oh, no, honey, I mean, don't worry, I like hanging out with those guys. It's fun for me. They're different than my other friends, they don't start sentences with, 'You know who just died shoveling snow?'
Rachel: Hey, how are those tapes working out for ya?
Doctor Connelly: Ok, given your situation, the options with the greatest chances for success would be surrogacy, or insemination using a sperm donor.
Ross: Yeah... I guess. I don'tI don't know. Alright, just... just give her this for me, OK? (gives Chandler a gift for Rachel)
Monica: Oh, um, around 8:02. We ah, talked for a little while, and then um, we went out for an innocent burger.
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
Pete: Youre, hey, youre not paying for the pizza!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is waiting for Janice to arrive, and is angrily fllipping through a magazine.]
Phoebe: (Singing) "Ipan Stripan, Glupi Glabi! " And that is the Swedish National Anthem! Thank you for asking! (looks annoyed)
[Scene: A restaurant in Rome, Monica is paying for the pizza.]
Ross: No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me?
Monica: Oh my God, it was the best funeral ever! I mean, everyone loved the food, and guess what? I even got another funeral for tomorrowthe dead-guy-from-today's best friend. I mean, it is like I am the official caterer for that accident!
Leader: Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself.
The Doctor: (seeing theyre not identical) But uh, this is a study for identical twins.
Pete: (to Monica, by the door) So ah, we on for tomorrow?
PHOEBE: Oh God, here we go. For the first time in my life I'm gonna say 'Hi birthfather'.
Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are rehearsing for the play.]
Ross: Oh yeah, shes-shes amazing. And-and shes so much fun. And! Yknow what? When Im with her, Im fun! I even signed up for helicopter classes. (Chandler is shocked.) Shes leaving in two days, I dont have to do it.
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, hes unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why dont you learn some English, Sergei?
Pete: One meal! Thats all Im asking for. Please? We go out, we eat, and if you dont have a good time, I give you ten grand, we call it even.
Rachel: Well, Ill ask him for you, if you want me too?
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally(opens envelope)not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Rachel: Well (At a loss for words, she grabs some of Monica's laundry and throws it on the floor as a diversion to allow Rachel to run back inside and close the door. Monica chases her to find that Rachel had locked the door.)
Joanna: Well, thanks again for lunch.
[Scene: The Theatre, Kate is arriving for rehearsal.]
Chandler: Oh, I can uh, check that for ya.
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
CHAN: Well is she... [reaches into the cookie jar for a cookie, takes his hand out, covered with pasta sauce]
(Of course its too late for that.)
RACHEL: Well, um . . . I don't know.� I mean, for a long time nothing.� But you know, actually right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a . . . ah . . . little thing.
Phoebe: Ohh, Monica, I am so excited for you.
Ross: There you go! Good enough for your party, huh?
Chandler: I can check that for ya.
Monica: You still have feelings for me dont you?
Monica: All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)
Ross: I was kinda, supposed to be on TV tonight for The Discovery Channel.
(They both look at each other for a while)
Joey: Uh, listen I gotta double check for tickets tonight. Who-who got what?
Rachel: Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop.
Chandler: The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake.
Phoebe: Wow, a house for dolls, that is so cool! When I was kid, I had a barrel.
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Hold Voice: Thank you for your patience, youre the next caller.
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
Ross: I do not have feelings for Rachel! Okay?! (He goes into her apartment.)
Monica: Yeah, and in the long version, I dump him for telling people the short version.
Chandler: Math!! Youre giving me math! All right, look y'know what, forget about it, you go for the girl, well see who gets her.
Joey: Ooh-ooh, I! I am thankful for this beautiful fall we've been having.
Rachel: Well, oh, Mark, Im doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? Im just doing it to get back at Ross. Im sorry, its not very fair to you.