words in movies
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Ross is explaining to the gang what happened with his mother.]
Ross: What happened to the Disgustingtons?
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!... (Listens) Oh, really, really, really? Well, let me tell you something... you will care about it, because I care about it! You got it? Good! (slams phone down, then leans back and realizes what just happened) Whooooaaaa....
Monica: You have scratches all over you, what happened? (Rachel's arms are covered with scratches.)
Rachel: Oh God. (He hands her some tissues.) No! Oh not again! (Wiping her nose.) This-this happened when my grandfather died. It's ugh! Sorry. (She puts her head back.) Oh, okay, so I'm sorry, what-what were you-what did you want to tell me?
Ross: Hey! Oh, Im so glad you guys are here. Ive been dying to tell someone what happened in the Paleontology department today.
Joey: Yeah! I stayed at Kates, but ah, nothing happened. Hey, Pheebs, where were ya?
Rachel: I am sorry! Again... I don't know, I don’t know what happened, I must be nervous!
Monica: I'm not crying about that! I'm crying about something that happened at work.
Ross: Hey, do you guys think that if all those things happened, wed still hang out?
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Rachel: (To Ross) I dont know. (To the gang.) What do you mean last night? Nothing, nothing uh, happened last night.
Rachel: Well, sure! Come in! (He enters) Well, what-what happened to your girlfriend?
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Joey: Same kind of thing happened to me! Woman pizza delivery guy come over, gives me the pizza, takes the money, and leaves!
Joey: Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?
Chandler: So you understand, Id feel a lot more comfortable if you didnt tell people what happened. Yknow, Im a little Im a little embarrassed about it.
Monica: No. Not after what happened with Steve.
Rachel: My God! What happened to you?
Chandler: The most unbelievable thing has happened. Underdog has just gotten away.
Monica: Well, what happened?
Rachel: Pheebs, if I had never met him this never would have happened!
Mr. Tribbiani: (To Phoebe) What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?
Monica: Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to. (to Chandler) He just happened to call.
Ross: No? What happened, big guy?
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Rachel: No! No! Seriously, whats wrong with the dog?! Wait a minute, what are you doing home so early? What happened to your date?
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
Rachel: What happened?
Monica: You know, it's a really funny story how this happened.
Ross: OK.... um, a weird thing happened to me on the train this morning...
Rachel: (We see a flashback as Rachel describes what happened.) All right, we were shaking hands and he kinda leaned toward me Y'know maybe he was going to open the door, but I totally miss read him and I uhhh (The flashback shows that she kissed him on the cheek.)
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Ross: It was, it was great. Oh, what happened?
Rachel: Monica, nothing has even happened yet, and you're already so...
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
Rachel: Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?
Monica: You know what probably happened? Someone musta stolen my credit card.
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
Ross: Hey, when-when was it kicking? What happened?
ROSS: Oh you guys are not gonna believe what happened.
Chandler: So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Joey: Oh, really? You know what your great friend did? We're out to dinner, ok? (he starts talking about the date and we can see what happened through a flashback video) We're getting along, having a really nice time. I was thinking she was really cool. And then, out of nowhere...
Monica: Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio, at the little theater in the park.
RACH: What happened?
ROSS: Carol, what's the matter? What happened?
ROSS: What happened?
ROSS: [enters] Ok, what the hell happened back there?
JOEY: Hey listen, I'm sorry about what happened. . .
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
Ross: Because she's just going to shoot me down. You guys saw what happened with Gunther. That did not look like fun.
ROSS: Oh my God, what happened?
Phoebe: Why? What happened now?
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
Chandler: I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already?
ROSS: I'm sorry I'm late, what happened?
CHANDLER: So what happened?
CHANDLER: What just happened?
JOEY: What happened to the foosball?
Phoebe: Why, what happened?
RACHEL: What happened to uh, MEG.?
JOEY: Oh no, what happened?
Ross: Maybe this wouldve happened if Id been more nurturing, or Id paid more attention, or I... had a uterus. I cant believe this!
Ross: Dont you realise none of this wouldve ever happened if I didnt think at that same moment you werent having sex with Mark?
Rachel: Well, what happened to your jam plan?
Ross: That's right, sex is off the table. (The door starts to open behind him and Dr. Green emerges) I am never having sex with you again. (Rachel stays quiet and after a few moments Ross realizes what has happened. He turns abruptly) Dr. Green, are you feeling better? (Rachel's dad glares at him with a deadly look)
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
Rachel: Oh my God, what happened? (points to the cast on Janice's wrist)
Rachel: (entering, to Ross) The most unbelievable thing happened to me today.
ERNIE: Bert, Bert. Bert. Hey, what happened to my friend Bert? He was here just a moment ago. Oh no, my old friend Bert is lost.
MONICA: So what happened?
[Scene: Central Perk, ??????? is playing, as Chandler peaks his head out of the storage closet and sneaks back to his seat and pretends he's reading something. Then a short while later Monica pokes her head out of the closet and sneaks back to her seat and sits down, pretending as if nothing has happened.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Phoebe: Monica, if you get five cool points, you get to make somebody take off one item of clothing. It hasnt happened yet, but were all very excited.
Chandler: Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross.
Rachel: Hi. Look um, about what happened earlier...
Joey: I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge?
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
Chandler: Why? What happened to him?
Phoebe: Yeah, this has happened before.
Phoebe: But, also, what happened between you and your Mom?
Phoebe: What happened?
Rachel: Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on Walker: Texas Ranger?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
Mrs. Bing: Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened. I'm sorry, honey, I promise it will never happen again. Are we okay now?
Phoebe: What umm, what happened?
Joey: No-no, things ah, finally happened with Kate.
Dr. Green: What happened to the library?
Joey: Y'know, about what happened with us.
Chandler: I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in.
Phoebe: What?! Oh my... (sees the remains of the house) Oh my God!! What happened?!
Chandler: Hey-hey-hey. So what happened? A forest tick you off?
Bonnie: Hey, what happened to you?
Ross: What happened?
Rachel: All right, thats it, you guys! What happened out there?
Phoebe Sr.: So I guess youd like to know how it all happened.
Ross: What the hell happened on that beach?!
Ross: What happened? Joey?
Ross: What happened?