words in movies
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
Woman: I've been following your career for years, I-I can't wait for your keynote speech.
Mike: Actually I've been playing a lot of love songs lately. I've missed you.
Rachel: I know, it's huge, and it's scary, and it's... really far, far away from you guys, but this is such an incredible opportunity for me. And I've already talked to them about our situation with Emma, and they said they'll do whatever we need to make us feel comfortable.
Monica: (In a sexy voice) Come in. I've been waiting for you.
ROSS: Believe me, I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for ten years now. But now, I'm with Julie, so it's like me and Julie, me and Rachel, me and Julie, me and... [Rachel enters, carrying a tray]... Rachel. Rachel, Rachel.
Chandler: Calm down? Calm down? You set me up with the woman that I've dumped twice in the last five months!
Joey: I know, she may be the hottest girl I've ever hated.
RICHARD: Honey, you are not an oat. I, I mean I don't know, I, I guess I'm just not an oat guy. I've only slept with women I've been in love with.
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Joey: Y'know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years. And I finally get my shot, and I blow it!
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Rachel: I've never given her a cookie. Have you?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Monica: I don't care. <pauses and realizes...> Oh my god. I've lost the will to scold.
Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun!
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Rachel: Noooo... look, all I know is that I cannot wait a week until I see him. I mean, this is just too big. Y'know, I just, I've just gotta talk to him. I... I gotta... OK, I'll see you later. (opens door)
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...
ROSS: Yeah. I don't know, I've been wanting this since like ninth grade typing, ya know. And I just want it to be perfect and right and. . . why isn't that laser beam cutting through the paint?
Joey: ..ah, what're you doing here? I've been trying to call you.
Rachel: They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots!
PHOEBE: Hey.� I'll be right back.� I've got to go to the bathroom.� (She rises and exits.)
Joey: You damn right I am, I've been waiting for a cookie for 7 minutes.
Ross: Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this.
Monica: Yes it is. You see I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?
Monica: Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole life! (she turns on the video again)
Chandler: Hey, I've been honing!
Phoebe:...Then I've already seen this one! (Turns off the TV.)
Chandler: No-no-no-no, I've supported you one hundred percent and I want to prove that to you in person!
Monica: That would be a terrible punishment. But, I'm serious, I've never seen these before.
RACH: Oh what, my whole insane jealousy thing? Well, y'know, as much fun as that was, I've decided to opt for sanity.
ROSS: Alright, that's it. I've had enough of this, alright. Gunther, these guys are trying to take our seat.
CHANDLER: Stay back, I've got kiwi. Run, Joey, Run!
Chandler: What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!
Rachel: Oh God, oh. Great, Monica, y'know what, you could've called, I have been up here, I've been worried...
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
Rachel: The earring? No. But look, I found my sunglasses under the couch! I've been looking for these since like last summer. (Puts 'em on.)
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Joey: I've gotta see this. All right Ugly Naked Guy!
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
Rachel: Ooh, I've been better...
Dr. Harad: Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. (Exits)
PHOEBE: It's a Wonderful Life. Yes I've heard of this.
Monica: I'm Monica Geller. I've been taking care of you.
Monica: Oh, friends first, drunk in London, you know the story. I've got a better question for you: Do you or any of your blood relatives have diabetes?
JULIE: Um, oh, I don't know. I mean, it's definitely weird not being with Ross, but I guess I'm doing OK. Actually I've got some of his stuff that he, um....
Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan.
Lorraine: You know, ever since I was little, I've been able to pick up quarters with my toes.
JOEY: I'm sorry. I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
Joey: Thanks! I've been working out. Hey listen, is it obvious that I'm wearing six sweaters?
Joey: (looking at himself) Man, I've got food all over me.
Joey: No, no, no, don't say "listen." I know that "listen." I've said that "listen."
Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave)
Chandler: Y'know, I've had dates like this.
MICH: No, no, I am, but only because for the last hour and a half I've been playing the movie Diner in my head.
Rachel: Mon. I wish I could, but I've made plans to walk around.
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
FBOB: If... if you want to drink, it's OK with me, I've got to get used to it.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. (She just stares at him.) I've done it again.
Chandler: (leaving) I don't care, I don't care! Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke! I've gotta have the smoke!
Amy: Oh, I know, I know. I've just been crazed.
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college.
Carol: Ross, you're being silly. I've tried it, it's no big deal. Just taste it. (Holding out a bottle.)
Phoebe: Really? So this is... this is my big send off in the married life? Rachel this is the only bachelorette party I'm ever gonna have! I've got a big wad of ones in my purse! Really? I mean, really? It's just tea?
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: (singing) I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find, is the wonders I've found ever since...
JULIE: [over intercom] Hi honey, I've got a cab waiting.
CHAN: Woah, woah, I've put on a little weight?
CHANDLER: Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.
Chandler: Oh yeah! I mean at first I hated it, but why wouldn't I, because as a man I've been trained (bitter woman's tone) not to listen! (pause) But after chapter 16: "fat, single and ready to mingle", I was uplifted.
Rachel: Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. (gets up to leave)
Rachel: See? I've even called Animal Control!
JOEY: I'm excited! I've never gotten reviewed before.
RACH: Ohh, OK, OK, OK, well, basically, lately, I've uh, I've uh, sort of had feelings for you.
JOEY: Alright... I've got to go shower. [leaves]
CHANDLER: OK, now wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen.
MAN: Sure will. I've uh, gotta go. Take care.
JOEY: I've never slept with someone for a part.
MONICA: I've gotta get back in the game.
Phoebe: Yes... I'm sorry, I've never met a boyfriends parents before...
RACHEL: I'm off my break now so uh, um here you take this [hands back Ben] and um, I am gonna go pour these very nice people some coffee. Ok. Oh look at that, I don't have a pot. I don't have a pot. Well, hey, maybe I've got one at home, or in Scarsdale. Hey is that a door? [leaves]
Ross: Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? (Janice makes an agreeing sound.) So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice.
MRS GREEN: The only man I've ever been with is your father.
(The rest of the crew start to drive away leaving Joey sad, alone, and holding his congratulatory balloons as the song comes up again. La-la-la. See, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain! In the desert you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La-la-la, la, la, la )
MONICA: Hey, I've come to terms with it, you have to too.
CAROL: Oh, right. Um, I've got some news. It's about us.
RACHEL: [sarcastically] I've never wanted you more.
Monica: I've gotta tell you, Bob is terrific.
RACH: Hi Russ, I've just got two more tables to clean and then we'll go, OK?
RACHEL: Well I've had it.
JOEY: Yeah, I've had it.
ROSS: And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Julie and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both paleontologists, but Rachel's just a waitress.
Young Ethan: All right, look. I've gotta tell you something. I'm not 17. I only said so that you'd think I was cute and vunerable. I'm actually 30, I have a wife, I have a job, I'm your Congressman. Monica, this is ridiculous, we're great together. We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex. Oh, man, okay i have no frame of graft, but I thought that was great.
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
JOEY: Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this Chandler, ten years! I mean, Days of Our Lives. That's actually on television.
Danielle: Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.
Rachel: Joey, I gotta tell ya, I've been thinking all day about that scene you did, I mean, you were amazing!
PHOEBE: Ok, this is the most romantic disease I've ever had.