words in movies
CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?
JOEY: Well, that was only 'cause I used the red one to unclog the drain.
JOEY: Alright, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.
MONICA: I can't believe you guys are actually getting tattoos.
RACHEL: Yes, but you can not tell Ross 'cause I want to surprise him.
PHOEBE: I think on my shoulder. [Ross enters]
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
MONICA: Yeah. It's my dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.
PHOEBE: No, I think you should tell them.
MONICA: No, I don't even know how serious he is about me. Until I do, I'm not telling them anything.
ROSS: I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.'
ROSS: Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
FRIEND: Oh. Speaking of whom, I hear he's got some 20-year-old twinkie in the city. [Monica sprays whipped cream all over the place]
CHANDLER: I know, this is a great apartment.
JOEY: Ah, I was just in the bathroom, and there's mirrors on both sides of you. So when you're in there it's like you're peein' with the Rockettes.
CHANDLER: [being left behind] Oh that's all right fellas, I saw a kitchen this morning - on TV. Stop talking. OK.
RICHARD: I am not telling you guys anything.
MR. GELLER: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got the Porsche. You... you got your own little speedster.
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
ROSS: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence.
RACHEL: Well I. . .
PHOEBE: I like this lily. It's more open, ya know, and that's like my mom. She had a more open, giving spirit. Ooh, Foghorn Leghorn, ooh.
PHOEBE: I don't believe this. Is this how this relationship's gonna work? Ross equals boss. I mean, c'mon what is this, 1922?
RACHEL: Yes I do, it's just that Ross is. . .
RICHARD: Yeah, I know. I hate it too. Look, maybe we should just tell them.
MONICA: God, you are so lucky. I mean, I mean. . . you know what I mean.
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
MRS. GELLER: Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support.
MR. GELLER: Honey. Honey, have you seen my Harmon Kilerbrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
MR. GELLER: I know. He's like a new man. It's like a scene from Cocoon.
MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
MR. GELLER: I tell you, I've never seen him this happy.
JOEY: Can we drop this? I am not interested in the guy's apartment.
CHANDLER: Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it.
JOEY: Why would I want another apartment, huh? I've already got an apartment that I love.
JOEY: I'm sorry. I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.
CHANDLER: Woah, woah, woah. I don't need a roommate either, OK? I can afford to live here by myself. Ya know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.
JOEY: Well that's how I feel.
JOEY: Well then maybe I will.
MR. GELLER: Who's drink can I freshen?
MONICA: You remember that video I found of mom and dad?
MONICA: Well, I just caught the live show.
MONICA: Nothing, I just heard something nice about you.
RICHARD: Uhh, not that I know of.
MRS. GELLER: Well, I was thinking, why doesn't he give Monica a call?
MRS. GELLER: Well that's wonderful. . . I
MONICA: Yes, a relationship. For your information I am crazy about this man.
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
MR. GELLER: When did I say that?
PHOEBE: Oh that looks so good, oh I love it.
RACHEL: I know, so do I. Oh Phoebe, I'm so glad you made me do this. OK, lemme se yours.
PHOEBE: Oh OK. [pulls over her shirt and shows a bare shoulder] Oh no, oh it's gone, that's so weird, I don't know how-where it went.
PHOEBE: I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles?
JOEY: I know. Yeah.
CHANDLER: So I got ya something. [tosses Joey a bag of plastic spoons]
JOEY: These'll go great in my new place. You know, 'till I get real ones.
JOEY: Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment.
CHANDLER: No-no, I mean what, what's this about your new place?
CHANDLER: Well I didn't think that was serious. [grabs the spoons back] Ya know I thought that was just a fight.
JOEY: Well, it was a fight. . . based on serious stuff, remember. About how I never lived alone or anything. I just think it would be good for me, ya know, help me to grow or. . . whatever.
JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.
CHANDLER: I did pay for half of it.
JOEY: Yeah. And uh, I paid for the other half.
JOEY: Alright, you're on. I can take two minutes out of my day to kick your ass.
MONICA: So, are you sorry that I told them?
RICHARD: No, it's been a long time since your dad and I went running.
RACHEL: That is not a tattoo, that is a nothing. I finally got her back in the chair, bairly touched her with a needle, she jumped up screaming, and that was it.
PHOEBE: OK, hi. For your information this is exactly what I wanted. This is a tattoo of the earth as seen from a great distance. It's the way my mother sees me from heaven.
ROSS: Well it's really. . . sexy. I wouldn't have thought it would be but. . . wow.
RACHEL: I guess.
PHOEBE: I know you're just moving uptown but I'm really gonna miss you.
MONICA: I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore.
CHANDLER: [quietly] Yeah, I remember.
JOEY: So, I guess this is it.
CHANDLER: Yeah, right, yeah, I guess so.
JOEY: Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again. CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house. JOEY: Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care. CHANDLER: Yeah. [Joey walks out and after a few seconds comes back in and gives Chandler a big hug. He then leaves for good and Chandler is left alone in his apartment.] CLOSING CREDITS
Joey: Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I dont want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, Im thinking Ill probably start with that laser eye surgery too.
Ross: Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didnt invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago?
Rachel: No! No, of course not. No. Thats why I brought it up. (Pause) They didnt have any sodas?
Ross: Come on. (Helps her into bed as her phone rings.) I got it.
Joey: Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I do it too.
Chandler: Well, maybe I won't kiss you, and then you'll have to stay.
Ross: Thank you, but I want to remove it Pheebs. I dont want to make it savory.
Rachel: This bench, its hollow! I cant believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!
PHOEBE: I told you not to do that yet. And, she wants to do a video.
FBOB: Well, I would make them Belgian, but the waffles are hard to get into that flask.
Chandler: I hate this thing!
Rachel: No-no, but I support it.
Danny: Okay, (To Monica) hope I see you tomorrow night.
Chandler: (glares at him) I hope he did!
Chandler: (gasps) All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him!
Joey: Uh, I think she's still asleep. Hey, hey, how did it go with you guys last night? She seemed pretty pissed at you.
Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, were on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
Phoebe: Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.
Ross: I think this is it. I don't know, maybe we should keep looking.
Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.
Ross: (To Joey) So, you-you think I should go ahead and take this place?
Phoebe: Ooh, I love that place! (Thinks about it.) So, no.
Ross: I dont know, I could maybe go out for a couple of beers, but theres this thing about bumblebees on The Discovery Channel that I was planning to watch.
Mrs. Geller: Ooh, Jack....(He looks over to her) Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. (They embrace and kiss passionately.)
Joey: I don't know. Maybe pizza?
Ross: (entering) Hey! I just heard. What's up?
Joey: Well, I-I just, I just it was going to be like a really cool robot, yknow? Like the terminator or uh, when I first saw you.
Doctor: I can't believe you didn't know it's twins! This has never happened before.
Ross: Your joke? Well, I think the Hef would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars.
Joey: Im sayin I see a difference.
Monica: What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!
Monica: I thought there wasn't a ball?
Kate: Yeah, I guess. Look, what are we gonna do about this scene, huh?
Joey: I was uh, I was thinking I might want to pick one of those babies up for myself, I might want to get one of those
Joey: Y'know, I-I don't even feel like I know you anymore man! All right, look, I'm just gonna ask you this one time. And whatever you say, I'll believe ya. (Pause.) Were you, or were you not on a gay cruise?!
Monica: (excited) I can do that!
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Joey: (at the urinal) Can you stop yellin'? You're makin' me nervous, and I can't go when I'm nervous.
Bonnie: All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider, and then suddenly, I dont know, we were, we were making out.
Phoebe: Ooh! I know what you could make! (runs over to join Monica and Rachel in the kitchen) I know! Oh, you should definitely make that thing... you know, with the stuff? (Monica doesn't know.) You know, that thing... with the stuff...? OK, I don't know. (sits down)
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Chandler: I didnt mean that. I just meant that the apartment is worth so much more.
Joey: (entering with Ross) Hey! You guys! Check it out, check it out! (Hes wearing a blue blazer) Guess which job I got.
Chandler: Ill give you a thousand dollars to talk to us.
Monica: Chandler, I said I was sorry.
Ross: (To Joey) Sir Limps-A-Lot, I came up with that.
Chandler: I can't believe this.
Chandler: You are so great! I love you!
Chandler: No I didn't!
Ross: No-no, I took them from the hotel lobby. Yeah, they think they can charge me for some dirty movie and a bag of Mashuga nuts, they got another think coming. (Starts to leave.) Hey! My sweater! Ive been looking for this for like a month!
Chandler: No I didn't!
Phoebe: What am I sitting on?
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
CHANDLER: Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
Ross: So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean its a really big step! And-and whats the rush?!
Ross: ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured.
Joey: Yeah, it was! All right, listen, I can't
Rachel: Oh, I read that in high school.
Phoebe: Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)
Rachel: Oh, okay, well, I think we should let Phoebe decide, because shes the only whos impartial, and shes so pretty.
Rachel: (calmly) Okay. Im sorry. Youre right, youre right.
Joey: Oh, come on! I wanna hear it! It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without Chandler bumming us out!
Chandler: Hey Mon, I think I figured out whose handcuffs they are.
Chandler: You cant leave! I have your shoe!
Phoebe: Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street.
RACH: She is not Rachem. What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress.
Phoebe: I thought you said you read it in high school.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Sorry I'm late, but I left late.
The A.D: Yeah, we loves em. Ive never seen him with(He gets a whiff of Joey and starts smelling around.)
Chandler: Thanks, its ah, Gaelic, for Thy turkeys done. So ah, Im gonna go, nice, nice meeting you.
Rachel: Umm, well I would have to say that it's a, it's tragic love story.
Rachel: Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute.
Rachel: Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!
Phoebe: I think that uh, yours is a question with many answers.
Chandler: That's why I lost my toe?! Because I called you fat?!
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
Ross: No, I-I-Im serious, okay? I mean, think about it. You move in, you start fighting over stupid game rooms, next thing yknow you break up!
Monica: Joey, we had a deal. That-thats why youre here! Ive got to fire you!
Joey: You're smart. I like that.
Ross: I can't catch a break!
Joey: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, (Joey from TV) you know that's bad for the paper tray.
Monica: It was great! It was great! How about you?! I mean youre having a baby!
PHOEBE: [cutting Mrs. Greene off] Ha-ha, that's great, ha-ha. I can't wait to hear the rest of it, ya know, but I really have to go to the bathroom so... Hey, come with me. Yeah, yeah, it'll be like we're gal pals, ya know, like at a restraunt. Oh, it'll be fun, c'mon. [they go in the bathroom]
Danny: Stop saying that. I hate that.
ROSS: The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed.
Rachel: What if I clean your bathroom for a month?
Chandler: OhI don't know.
Phoebe: No that's just me coughing! (Doing some weird coughing noises and the dog barks again. Phoebe comes out of the room.) Oh, good, there you are! Listen, um, I have a dog in my room.
MONICA: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
Ross: Look, this is hard enough! I really need you guys right now.
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Mr. Treeger: Because by the time I find it on this thing (Holds up a huge key ring with a thousand keys on it), the whole place might have exploded. If that happens at another building that I manage, people are gonna start asking questions. (To the fireman) Come on! Hurry up.
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Steve: It's really fulfilling doing something you hate for no money. That's right. I have no money, I'm not funny, I live in a studio apartment with two other guys, and I'm pretty sure I'm infertile.
Phoebe: Oh God, Im so glad you guys are happy, I was so afraid you were going to be all freaked.
Monica: I know.
Phoebe: Well, I snapped! Okay? You weren't taking the class seriously.
Chandler: Which I may say, right now, is out of control.
Alice: (running in from the elevator) Am I too late?!