words in movies
CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?
JOEY: Well, that was only 'cause I used the red one to unclog the drain.
JOEY: Alright, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.
MONICA: I can't believe you guys are actually getting tattoos.
RACHEL: Yes, but you can not tell Ross 'cause I want to surprise him.
PHOEBE: I think on my shoulder. [Ross enters]
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
MONICA: Yeah. It's my dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.
PHOEBE: No, I think you should tell them.
MONICA: No, I don't even know how serious he is about me. Until I do, I'm not telling them anything.
ROSS: I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.'
ROSS: Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
FRIEND: Oh. Speaking of whom, I hear he's got some 20-year-old twinkie in the city. [Monica sprays whipped cream all over the place]
CHANDLER: I know, this is a great apartment.
JOEY: Ah, I was just in the bathroom, and there's mirrors on both sides of you. So when you're in there it's like you're peein' with the Rockettes.
CHANDLER: [being left behind] Oh that's all right fellas, I saw a kitchen this morning - on TV. Stop talking. OK.
RICHARD: I am not telling you guys anything.
MR. GELLER: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got the Porsche. You... you got your own little speedster.
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
ROSS: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence.
RACHEL: Well I. . .
PHOEBE: I like this lily. It's more open, ya know, and that's like my mom. She had a more open, giving spirit. Ooh, Foghorn Leghorn, ooh.
PHOEBE: I don't believe this. Is this how this relationship's gonna work? Ross equals boss. I mean, c'mon what is this, 1922?
RACHEL: Yes I do, it's just that Ross is. . .
RICHARD: Yeah, I know. I hate it too. Look, maybe we should just tell them.
MONICA: God, you are so lucky. I mean, I mean. . . you know what I mean.
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
MRS. GELLER: Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support.
MR. GELLER: Honey. Honey, have you seen my Harmon Kilerbrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
MR. GELLER: I know. He's like a new man. It's like a scene from Cocoon.
MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
MR. GELLER: I tell you, I've never seen him this happy.
JOEY: Can we drop this? I am not interested in the guy's apartment.
CHANDLER: Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it.
JOEY: Why would I want another apartment, huh? I've already got an apartment that I love.
JOEY: I'm sorry. I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.
CHANDLER: Woah, woah, woah. I don't need a roommate either, OK? I can afford to live here by myself. Ya know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.
JOEY: Well that's how I feel.
JOEY: Well then maybe I will.
MR. GELLER: Who's drink can I freshen?
MONICA: You remember that video I found of mom and dad?
MONICA: Well, I just caught the live show.
MONICA: Nothing, I just heard something nice about you.
RICHARD: Uhh, not that I know of.
MRS. GELLER: Well, I was thinking, why doesn't he give Monica a call?
MRS. GELLER: Well that's wonderful. . . I
MONICA: Yes, a relationship. For your information I am crazy about this man.
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
MR. GELLER: When did I say that?
PHOEBE: Oh that looks so good, oh I love it.
RACHEL: I know, so do I. Oh Phoebe, I'm so glad you made me do this. OK, lemme se yours.
PHOEBE: Oh OK. [pulls over her shirt and shows a bare shoulder] Oh no, oh it's gone, that's so weird, I don't know how-where it went.
PHOEBE: I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles?
JOEY: I know. Yeah.
CHANDLER: So I got ya something. [tosses Joey a bag of plastic spoons]
JOEY: These'll go great in my new place. You know, 'till I get real ones.
JOEY: Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment.
CHANDLER: No-no, I mean what, what's this about your new place?
CHANDLER: Well I didn't think that was serious. [grabs the spoons back] Ya know I thought that was just a fight.
JOEY: Well, it was a fight. . . based on serious stuff, remember. About how I never lived alone or anything. I just think it would be good for me, ya know, help me to grow or. . . whatever.
JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.
CHANDLER: I did pay for half of it.
JOEY: Yeah. And uh, I paid for the other half.
JOEY: Alright, you're on. I can take two minutes out of my day to kick your ass.
MONICA: So, are you sorry that I told them?
RICHARD: No, it's been a long time since your dad and I went running.
RACHEL: That is not a tattoo, that is a nothing. I finally got her back in the chair, bairly touched her with a needle, she jumped up screaming, and that was it.
PHOEBE: OK, hi. For your information this is exactly what I wanted. This is a tattoo of the earth as seen from a great distance. It's the way my mother sees me from heaven.
ROSS: Well it's really. . . sexy. I wouldn't have thought it would be but. . . wow.
RACHEL: I guess.
PHOEBE: I know you're just moving uptown but I'm really gonna miss you.
MONICA: I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore.
CHANDLER: [quietly] Yeah, I remember.
JOEY: So, I guess this is it.
CHANDLER: Yeah, right, yeah, I guess so.
JOEY: Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again. CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house. JOEY: Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care. CHANDLER: Yeah. [Joey walks out and after a few seconds comes back in and gives Chandler a big hug. He then leaves for good and Chandler is left alone in his apartment.] CLOSING CREDITS
Rachel: It kinda worked. I mean yknow, I dont know about you buy I havent thought about our thing since all this.
ROSS: [reluctantly] Can I come over tomorrow and pick up Fluffy Meowington's cat toy.
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
RACHEL: Hi. Listen, I was um, thinkin' about. . .
Phoebe: (getting up) Well, I hate to eat and run, but
Monica: What?! You cant shed a tear for your dead wife!! Now, I left you a note from the beyond!
Rachel: Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you "momma's boy", starting right now.
Chandler: She's right! If I were a guy and... (stops himself mid-sentence...everyone stares at him) Did I just say if I were a guy..?
ROSS: Wait hold on Tony, hold on. [answers second line] Hello. Hi, yeah no, she's right here. Um hold on. [gets first line] Hi Tony, can I call you back? That's uh, that's my sister's boyfriend.
Chandler: Oh yeah, yeah! Look what I got, look what I got. (holds up a pen) See, she's fully dressed, right?
Rachel: Wow! I definitely did not see that one backfiring! Im gonna go to the bathroom.
Man with a bow tie: Jarvis Oberblau, Cornell. (sighs) I mean, the ideas you put forth and, and from someone... so... young... and... (sighs again and smiles at Ross blissfully).
Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He sets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
Rachel: Oh it was perfect! I mean it really felt like he was my friend again.
Monica: Oh, he is. And he is so dreamy. I mean, y'know what, when he left I actually used the phrase, Hummina-hummina-hummina. (walks away)
Joey: Your thumb? Thats weird. (Makes a fist.) You sure youre punching right? Make a fist. (Ross just looks at him with his thumb in a cast.) Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible.
Ross: Yeah, I ate all my gifts for everybody.
CHANDLER: See, this is the brilliance of the show. I say always keep them running. All the time, running. Run. Run Yasmine, run like the wind.
Phoebe: You’re just so mean to each other! And I don’t want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Woman: Hi, oh, Im Lauren, Kates understudy.
Joshua: Huh. Oh, boy! (Sits down next to her.) Uhh, I-I dont wear suits to work, and I bought six of them from you.
Joey: I am pretty wisdomous.
Mr. Geller: Your make-up kit? Id feel better.
Chandler: Oh, it doesnt matter. (Kisses her on the top of her head.) Hey, yknow what, Ive got two tickets to tonights Rangers game, you wanna come with me?
JOEY: Well, I get the medical award for separating the siamese twins. Then Amber and I go to Venezuela to meet our other half-brother, Ramone. And that's where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big but it's cursed.
Monica: I think we are getting a little ahead of selves here. Okay. Okay. I am just going to get up, go to work and not think about him all day. Or else I'm just gonna get up and go to work.
Joey: I know, I know..., but that's okay. I mean, we can control ourselves, we're not animals.
Ross: Oh! Man I dont think Ive seen you since uh, Lance Davis graduation party.
RACHEL: Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight. I mean, I have a Malibu Barbi that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.
Paul: Let me just see if I got this straight. I tell you to stay away from my daughter or Ill have you fired. What you heard was, "Take my daughter, come up to my country house, and ruin my weekend with Rachel!"
Ross: Wait a minute, I-I believe Im entitled to use my Angel Pass for a free turn?
Rachel: Ish. I just don�t think I can bear it.
Ross: Hey-hey, its valid okay? And Im not the only one who thinks so, Monica agrees with me.
Joey: You're a lucky man. You know what I miss the most about her? That cute nibbly noise when she eats. Like a happy little squirrel, or a weasel.
Ross: At least I know she's not going out with me to get into R rated movies.
Chandler: I can see the headline now: "Lottery winners' friend filled with regret eats own arm".
Ross: Well, cant you at least stall her a little? Ill-Ill go back to some of the places I went last night.
Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. You know, what was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window)
Ross: Oh oh oh! I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE!!
Rachel: Well, I feel fine, but I think youre bumming out the rest of the kids.
Monica: Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, Im running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where theres no future? Either theyre too old, or theyre too young, and then theres Pete whos-whos crazy about me, and whos absolutely perfect for me, and theres like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like somethings wrong with me?!
Rachel: That sounds great! Id love to live at Warrens!! I love Warren! Thank you!
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?
Joey: Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid!
Chandler: Honey, I dont like baths! Could you draw me a picture of us having sex on the balcony?
Monica: I know! And four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set, who cares about the divorce, those babies will sell themselves. (they all stare at her) And Im appalled for you by the way.
Monica: I mean I-I thought you were nuts at first, but you-you did it. And now you can just look back at this thing with no regrets.
Monica: Oh my God, I wrecked your baby!! (runs into the bedroom)
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
Chandler: I don't know. Maybe it's because it smells a little weird. It's like old pumpkins or something.
Joeys Sister: No, Im Mary-Theresa.
Charity guy: If I haven't said so already sir, (sarcastically pointing to Phoebe) congratulations!
Rachel: Why did you invite him?? I can't stand that guy!
Chandler: Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
Ross: Im agreeing with you. Did you, listen, did you happen to tell Phoebe yet?
Rachel: I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally...
Ross: Oh... ok, fine. But... ehm... I just have one question for you, ehm... (aping Professor Spafford) When we exit should we walk, or run, or prance, or stroll...
Rachel: Because you are my sister and Ross and I have this huge history
Monica: Umm, I think I spoke too quickly. There-theres a learning curve with this job and maybe we can try it again.
Monica: Because I need the money, and I thought that itd be a great way to get rid of that last little schmidgen of self-respect.
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
MRS GREEN: This is just so exciting. You know, I never worked. I went straight from my father's house to the sorority house to my husband's house. I am just so proud of you.
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
The Interviewer: (To Joey) Yknow I think its great you wanted to meet here. Yknow when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant.
Rachel: Yeah, I just get a little bummed when my birthday's over.
Chandler: (astonished) I don't think that's exactly...
MRS GREEN: Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet. Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options.
MONICA: Ok, um so, I still have to invite Dillon and Emma and Shannon Cooper.
Rachel: I... I... I... (again saying something that cannot be understood)
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Ross: God! I can't believe she saved me for last. (looking out to the balcony) Why are they taking so long?
Phoebe: All right y'know what, nevermind! Everyone wants to have a green one! Im sorry, Im sorry, I didnt mean to get so emotional, I guess its just the holidays, its hard.
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
Chandler: (entering) Hey, does anybody need anything copied? Im going down to the Xerox place.
Phoebe: Well, I-I thought a lot about what you said, and um, I realilized duh, all right maybe I was a little judgmental. Yeah, (looks at the tree) oh, but oh...
Chandler: Which I bought for ya. Taught ya how to use it. You thought it was a copier. Look, if there was anything I could do, I would do it. Okay? But everybodys allowed one mistake, right?
(Cue up the music as they move in and kiss. This time I think it's Perry Como, but I'm not sure. It's Everybody loves somebody, sometime! Everybody falls in love somehow! Something in your kiss, just told me, my sometime, is now!)
Minister: May I have the rings? (He is given the rings) Emily, place this ring on Rosss finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. (She jams the ring onto his finger) Ross, place this ring in Emilys hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
Joey: Of course you do! I saved him! You're mad at me! It all adds up! You want Ross out of the picture.
Chandler: Hey! Honey, can I ask you a question about the Valentines Day gifts?
Mike: I heard that weddings are like a 40 billion dollar a year industry.
Monica: Fine, you can have the bath, but I am taking your boat. Now youre just a girl in a tub!
Phoebe: Yes you do! This is your third divorce! You love divorce so much youre probably gonna marry it! Then it wont work out and youre gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy. (Pause) Im so drunk.
Pete: Her names Ann, shes a journalist. Ahh, we met on the plane. She asked me if she could finish off my peanuts, I thought she said something else, we had a big laugh. Yeah, I just, I mean I got, I got tired of waiting.
Joey: Yeah, I just… I just feel bad about firing Estelle. This is got to be killing her.
Rachel: Like a little girl. I know. I know. I know. This is all my fault; I wanted him to open up. But God, I didnt know that I was gonna unleash this-this weepy, clingy, moist monster!
Richard: Oh. Look, just friends, I wont grope you. I promise.
Ross: (To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!
Rachel: Well, uhm... whatever, I have really appreciated it, 'cause I don’t think I would be the person that I am today if it wasn’t for you guys. See, I wanna help Amy the way you guys helped me. And I know it’s gonna take patience, but that’s ok.
Chandler: We are supposed to make these decisions together! Did you not watch the Doctor Phil I taped for you?
Joey: You wanna see what I got? (He gets up to empty out his pockets) Okay? Ive got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey!
Ross: I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Yknow, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so
Chandler: You are an amazing wife. (Monica shrugs) No really you're amazing you were actually gonna do this for me, I mean where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that.
Joey: Maybe! (To Bobby) Well! Well so-so uh, what kind of music does Numb NutsOh forget it! I cant!
JOEY: Hey no, seriously, I don't need you to pick me... [Fun Bobby picks Joey up off the ground, bounces him. Joey laughs.] Alright! It still works.
Phoebe: I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children.
Rachel: Oh, I don't think she likes the new Hugsy.