words in movies
CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?
JOEY: Well, that was only 'cause I used the red one to unclog the drain.
JOEY: Alright, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.
MONICA: I can't believe you guys are actually getting tattoos.
RACHEL: Yes, but you can not tell Ross 'cause I want to surprise him.
PHOEBE: I think on my shoulder. [Ross enters]
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
MONICA: Yeah. It's my dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.
PHOEBE: No, I think you should tell them.
MONICA: No, I don't even know how serious he is about me. Until I do, I'm not telling them anything.
ROSS: I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.'
ROSS: Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
FRIEND: Oh. Speaking of whom, I hear he's got some 20-year-old twinkie in the city. [Monica sprays whipped cream all over the place]
CHANDLER: I know, this is a great apartment.
JOEY: Ah, I was just in the bathroom, and there's mirrors on both sides of you. So when you're in there it's like you're peein' with the Rockettes.
CHANDLER: [being left behind] Oh that's all right fellas, I saw a kitchen this morning - on TV. Stop talking. OK.
RICHARD: I am not telling you guys anything.
MR. GELLER: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got the Porsche. You... you got your own little speedster.
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
ROSS: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence.
RACHEL: Well I. . .
PHOEBE: I like this lily. It's more open, ya know, and that's like my mom. She had a more open, giving spirit. Ooh, Foghorn Leghorn, ooh.
PHOEBE: I don't believe this. Is this how this relationship's gonna work? Ross equals boss. I mean, c'mon what is this, 1922?
RACHEL: Yes I do, it's just that Ross is. . .
RICHARD: Yeah, I know. I hate it too. Look, maybe we should just tell them.
MONICA: God, you are so lucky. I mean, I mean. . . you know what I mean.
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
MRS. GELLER: Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support.
MR. GELLER: Honey. Honey, have you seen my Harmon Kilerbrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
MR. GELLER: I know. He's like a new man. It's like a scene from Cocoon.
MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
MR. GELLER: I tell you, I've never seen him this happy.
JOEY: Can we drop this? I am not interested in the guy's apartment.
CHANDLER: Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it.
JOEY: Why would I want another apartment, huh? I've already got an apartment that I love.
JOEY: I'm sorry. I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.
CHANDLER: Woah, woah, woah. I don't need a roommate either, OK? I can afford to live here by myself. Ya know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.
JOEY: Well that's how I feel.
JOEY: Well then maybe I will.
MR. GELLER: Who's drink can I freshen?
MONICA: You remember that video I found of mom and dad?
MONICA: Well, I just caught the live show.
MONICA: Nothing, I just heard something nice about you.
RICHARD: Uhh, not that I know of.
MRS. GELLER: Well, I was thinking, why doesn't he give Monica a call?
MRS. GELLER: Well that's wonderful. . . I
MONICA: Yes, a relationship. For your information I am crazy about this man.
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
MR. GELLER: When did I say that?
PHOEBE: Oh that looks so good, oh I love it.
RACHEL: I know, so do I. Oh Phoebe, I'm so glad you made me do this. OK, lemme se yours.
PHOEBE: Oh OK. [pulls over her shirt and shows a bare shoulder] Oh no, oh it's gone, that's so weird, I don't know how-where it went.
PHOEBE: I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles?
JOEY: I know. Yeah.
CHANDLER: So I got ya something. [tosses Joey a bag of plastic spoons]
JOEY: These'll go great in my new place. You know, 'till I get real ones.
JOEY: Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment.
CHANDLER: No-no, I mean what, what's this about your new place?
CHANDLER: Well I didn't think that was serious. [grabs the spoons back] Ya know I thought that was just a fight.
JOEY: Well, it was a fight. . . based on serious stuff, remember. About how I never lived alone or anything. I just think it would be good for me, ya know, help me to grow or. . . whatever.
JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.
CHANDLER: I did pay for half of it.
JOEY: Yeah. And uh, I paid for the other half.
JOEY: Alright, you're on. I can take two minutes out of my day to kick your ass.
MONICA: So, are you sorry that I told them?
RICHARD: No, it's been a long time since your dad and I went running.
RACHEL: That is not a tattoo, that is a nothing. I finally got her back in the chair, bairly touched her with a needle, she jumped up screaming, and that was it.
PHOEBE: OK, hi. For your information this is exactly what I wanted. This is a tattoo of the earth as seen from a great distance. It's the way my mother sees me from heaven.
ROSS: Well it's really. . . sexy. I wouldn't have thought it would be but. . . wow.
RACHEL: I guess.
PHOEBE: I know you're just moving uptown but I'm really gonna miss you.
MONICA: I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore.
CHANDLER: [quietly] Yeah, I remember.
JOEY: So, I guess this is it.
CHANDLER: Yeah, right, yeah, I guess so.
JOEY: Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again. CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house. JOEY: Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care. CHANDLER: Yeah. [Joey walks out and after a few seconds comes back in and gives Chandler a big hug. He then leaves for good and Chandler is left alone in his apartment.] CLOSING CREDITS
Joey: No, no, no I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today.
Monica: No! Wait! I think I can figure out the recipe from this cookie! I do stuff like this at work all the time.
Ross: And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didnt know he was in there. (They all kinda look at him.)
Chandler: I married Fred Sanford!
Phoebe: I-I-I like, I like parties.
Mr. Zelner: May I help you?
Rachel: Oh thats not important. The point is, I reallyI think everythings gonna be okay.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess, a little.
Monica: This is Rachel. I mean, what are you gonna do, never going to talk to her again? I mean I know its weird, its awkward, but you gotta at least try.
Ross: (chases her) Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! (Realizes a table of women overheard him.) (To that table.) Sup?
Jim: It aint no thing, Im wild too.
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Rachel: Ah, I-I never should have said what I said. Ityknow what? It just doesn't matter how I feel. I mean we work together, so nothing could really ever happen between us, and what I would love is just to go to work on Monday, and-and never talk about this again, okay? Big day Monday lots to do. So, we're okay?
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im a masseuse, and I used to work at this place
Jim: Im sorry. Im staring. Its just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Joey: I mean come on you guys! My own TV show? I just dont know if Im good enough.
Joey: Lets just say I took care of it.
Rachel: No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesnt want to buy my baby! I made that up!
Mr. Zelner: Oh I think its best that I speak first.
Monica: Oh myThis is so embarrassing. Oh my God, Im never gonna get massaged again!
Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
JOEY: I didn't think anyone'd buy that, ok.
Guy: Im sorry, its just that youre so incredibly beautiful.
Guy: (To Phoebe) Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s (looks at Phoebe.) Wow!
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
Phoebe: I cant believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought Id be able to do that! Thank you Ross.
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Joey: I know. I know.
Chandler: Oh Im sorry, youre kicking me out of my own living room?
Rachel: Okay, uh, you let me go grocery shopping, and I buy laundry detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout.
Monica: (to the clerk) Ooh, an ink stain! Hey, can I watch how you get this out?
Chandler: Ill be in there. (Goes into the bedroom.)
Rachel: Yeah I know! I miss that.
Ross: Hey, whatever it is, I am sure it has happened to me. Yknow, actually onceonce I got dumped during sex.
Airline Employee: (grabbing the ticket from him) Sir, this is not a first class ticket. Im sorry.
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents anniversary party?
Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said.. <pause> He said.. "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do?
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
Monica: Yeah, Id really like to.
Ross: (Looking at the posters.) Wow, cool poster. Or should I say groovy poster? (They sit down on the couch. Ross smiles and the black light fluoresces his teeth.) So, ahh, where were we?
Ross: I mean youre not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
Ross: Ah, actually, Im sorry we-we probably should get going.
Chandler: But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so shed know I was okay.
Joey: Oh, ahh, go to the window. Im wanna run down to the truck and show you something.
CHAN: Well it couldn't have been worse. A woman literally passed through me. OK, so what is it, am I hideously unattractive?
Mona: (entering, with her date) I am so sorry I spilled wine all over your shirt.
Rachel: I, uh, think you already are.
Rachel: Yeah, otherwise Im not going.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah I like him a lot.
Monica: And Ive got the car keys.
Monica: Okay, I got my note cards. (To Chandler) Do you got the presents?
Rachel: Well, it gets worse. When asked if you take initiative I wrote, "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision," and under Problems with Performance I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not," and then uh, then I drew a little smiley face, and then a small pornographic sketch.
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Joey: is because they were friends first. Y'know? So I asked myself, "Who are my friends?" You and Phoebe, and I saw you first. So
Joey: I have to go to the bathroom too, but I dont want him complimenting my thing.
Phoebe: Ill go with you
Ross: Im so we werent in the car! Did he ever let up?
Joey: I know
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
Monica: I feel terrible.
Ross: Oh the bands ready! And wellI-Iwe gotta do what the band says, right? I dont care about the stinkin band!!
Woman: Oh my God. That sounds amazing. I would love to see pictures.
Phoebe: No, Im fine. Im great. Im with you.
Parker: I wont quit until you try.
Parker: What are they like? Ive never had one.
Phoebe: No, actually I dont eat
Aunt Lisa: Ill bet you looked beautiful
Ross: Oh! ...Yeah, they were gross. Oh, you know what I loved? Her Sweet 'n' Los. How she was always stealing them from- from restaurants.
Rachel: Shhh! I want to hear the rest!
Joey: Oh, ha-ha-ha! Ooh! Wait a minute, I used to get medical experiments down on me all the time!
Rachel: Amy! <pause> Yes I do.. I really do. <grabs Ross' hand for support>
Phoebe: I cant. I cant believe I have plans, I cant. Can you do it tomorrow night though?
Ross: And if I remember correctly, Ray Ban was the official sponsor of World War I!
Carol: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky.
Joey: Yeah. Ya know what I think; I think we were all just being too negative.
Phoebe: Oooh I love it!
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs?
Mr. Geller: I just wish Nana were alive to hear Rosss toast.
Monica: This is so bizarre. I guess it kinda makes sense though, yknow she had such a terrible childhood.
Parker: I love games!
Parker: I must say this apartment, its, its, There are no words
Parker: I lose, now Jenga.
Ross: I told Emily to come. And I just need to y'know, talk to Rachel about it.
Parker: Im sorry thats who I am. Im a positive person.
Chandler: I did. (Looks at his still deformed hand) But it came at a price.
Chandler: Honey, I got us that room at the Woodford Inn this weekend.
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Ross: I know, I know it was stupid.
Rachel: Okay Ross, can I uh, can I ask you something?
Ross: Thats all Im askin
Rachel: I will think about it.
Monica: Okay thats it. I give up. At mom and dads 40th anniversary, youre the one giving the speech.
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
ROSS: Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guy just, just give him back the hat.
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
Monica: Oh really? Okay? Well what would you say if I told you that, yknow, Ross or Chandler could beat you up?
Rachel: Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.
Joey: No. They really like me over there. They want to do a big profile on me, but I said no.