words in movies
Phoebe: Uh-uh. Ok. What time is that.
Phoebe: Ok, so... 1800 minus twelve is... one thousand, seven hundred and...
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
Phoebe: What harpist? My friend Marjorie is playing the steel drums.
Phoebe: (looking angry) Hey! She will shower when Tibet is free.
Mike: Is that why your hand is pressed against my crotch?
Ross: That is why!
Phoebe: Where is Emma?
Rachel: Well, this is really awkward (staring at the floor) Oh, and I can leave!
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Mike: Hey guys, how is it going?
Chandler: Oh, I will. But I will need a mirror... as he is me!
Ross: Is that what they say on the Figure Skating Team?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Rachel: (excited and clapping her hands in front of her face) Goody, what is it!
Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler?
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Monica: Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back.
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return)
Phoebe: Wow, this is a lot!
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon, please! Don't make this harder than it already is!
Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is talking at the phone, Monica is listening amused.]
Phoebe: Sven I don't understand what you're saying! What is wrong with the flowers? Lorkins? What the hell are lorkins?
Mike: (looking around the room) This is... great...
Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her.
Joey: (very satisfied and smiling) That's what I wanted to hear! Because she's family, ok, and now you're gonna be family, and there is nothing more important in the whole world, than family.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is pacing and Rachel walks in.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is on the phone and Monica is nonchalantly "minding her own business".]
Phoebe: No! We're gonna do it my way. (listens) Because your way is stupid! Alright I gotta go, I have another call, Reverend. (switches calls) Hello?
(Mike opens the door and there is a gigantic ice sculpture standing in the doorway)
Mike: Uhm, did you guys know that there is a giant ice sculpture in the hall?
Phoebe: (starting to panic) Oh my God, everything is such a mess. Why is this happening to me?
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee at the counter. Chandler walks in.]
Rachel: (sarcastic) Wow, this is a tough one. I think I'm gonna have to go with the dog.
(Cut to Phoebe who is in the living room, still on the phone.)
Phoebe: Alright, wait, so what you're saying is that the chef is at the Hamilton Club, but the food is not and the drinks are there, but the bartender is not? Are you, are you FREAKING KIDDING ME!?
Chandler: I'm not scared. (moves towards Mike and Chappy) I'll just take little Chappy and... (he backs out) HE CAN SENSE MY FEAR. MY THROAT IS EXPOSED.
Monica: Level 1 alert. I repeat, level 1. This is not a drill. Okay we've got a situation. The minister just called. He's snowed in. He can't make it.
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
(Cut to inside Central Perk where Rachel is helping Phoebe. Chandler and Monica enter.)
Phoebe: Uhuh, uhuh... Oh my God! This is really happening.
Chandler: (to Monica) Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight?
Monica: Groomsman, groomsman, why are you just standing there, where is your bridesmaid? (into microphone) We've got a broken arrow. Bridesmaid down! (realizes) Oh, that's me.
(She takes off the coat she was wearing over her wedding dress, which is violet and has a darker shade petticoat underneath which shows at one side where the dress is lifted up to about the height of her hip and connected to the petticoat. She's wearing a veil over her curly hair and a low cut top with straps only just hanging over her shoulders.)
Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.)
(cut to the street in front of Central Perk where Ross is walking Chappy. He has a plastic bag in his hand.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is looking at papers.]
Phoebe: Okay, dont sweat it. (Looking around her.) Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guys cute. (Points to a guy sitting behind Monica.)
Chandler: Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor?
Joey: Oh, it is.
Joey: It is.
Lydia: Oh, that is so not true.
Molly: (goes out of the room) Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha (they kiss on the lips in a romantic way). (to Ross) I'll see you tomorrow.
Joey: You know what the Celtics problem is? They let the players run the team.
Ross: Who the hell is Jordie?
Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!
Ross: Please. This is so your fault.
Susan: How, how is this my fault?
(Phoebe goes to leave the room, but the door is locked.)
Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienists blouse.
Ross: Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long?
Rachel: (entering from her room) Hey guys do you think this is too sluttyHi Kash!
Monica: This is it. Yeah, this is the one. I cant believe I found it!
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Lydia: No, this is a loaner.
Guy: Your mom called me. So is this her?
Rachel: It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, you know, which is actually why I took this job.
ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.
Phoebe: This is so great.
[Scene: Estelle's memorial service. Joey is giving a speech. Next to him is a blown op photograph of Estelle behind her desk and there's a man standing next to him.]
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
RACHEL: Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know?� I should just . . . move on with my life.
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Joey: Ew! What is that? Something exploded!
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.
Ross: No, this is pretty much it.
Monica: He is so amazing.
(Ross is practically drooling over Rachel at this point.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
Joey: Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?
Joey: Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right!
[Scene: Joey and Lydia in the hospital room. Lydia is on the phone with her mother.]
Chandler: This is the New York Times.
Joey: I didnt tell him. I didnt know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people.
Joey: Well, the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me.
Rachel: Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth!
[Scene: Lydia's Room, Joey is helping her deliver.]
Phoebe: So you do know who he is! (laughs, Ross stares at her) Sorry.
Ross: Okay, maybe this is so hard, because there aren't 50 states. Let me tell you something, I have 49 states, and there are no more! I-I think, I should be able to eat something.
Ross: Oh, okay, yknow what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage...
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
Lowell: Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no. By the way, your friend Brian from Payroll, he is.
Rachel: Are you joking? Check out is not til noon and he has a good (checks her watch) eleven minutes left.
Rachel: (Into microphone) Central Perk is proud to present Miss Phoebe Buffay.
(It's only when the camera cuts to Ross's apartment that we see that the TV is turned off and Ross is indeed doing a bit. He then tries to hide his smirk.)
Joey: No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is.
Rachel: OK, I'm guessing this is from...
Melanie: There is a little child inside this man!
Phoebe: I know. This is really, really huge.
Rachel: I mean, this is unbelievable.
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is just getting off of the intercom and turns off the TV which is still in the SAP mode.]
Joey: Aww, I don't know Monica y'know... erm... lending friends money is always a mistake.
Monica: Is there? Is there someone else?
Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.
Aunt Iris: Is Tony Randall dead?
Monica: No, you can't! Friends hooking up is a bad idea.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is sitting on the couch alone working on a crossword puzzle. Gunther is there, going into the back room.]
Monica: Oh my God, it was the best funeral ever! I mean, everyone loved the food, and guess what? I even got another funeral for tomorrowthe dead-guy-from-today's best friend. I mean, it is like I am the official caterer for that accident!
Rachel: Who is it?
Monica: Okay. (They both jump up to head for there room, but Monica stops.) But wait, we cant. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, were supposed to have lunch.
Monica: I can't believe Emma is still asleep!
Monica: Joey! Why is Janine not coming over for dinner?!
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Ross: Well, where do I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel.
Ross: Everyone, this is Julie.
Phoebe: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
ROSS: I don't believe this. I miss, I miss the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled. What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet, is he driving, does he have a favorite liquour?
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
Rachel: How is that the silver lining?
Monica: Would you look at her? She is so peaceful.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross is trying to open the door with a credit card, with no success.]
Rachel: At his apartment. Is this juice?
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Chandler is under one of the tables as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except for Chandler. Rachel is writing something and Monica walks up.]
Rachel: Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem?
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
Rachel: How is she?
Ross: You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me (getting up and taking his coat) I have a date. (As he is walking out, everyone turns and stares at him) See? (To Joey) ALL eyes on ME!
(With his index finger he shows her how old she is. Emma also points her finger and babbles...)
(Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day. Monica is now out and about.]
Ross: Well, technically it seven billion years ago (Well, technically youd be able to see it for days, well nights; that is if you could see it with all of the bright lights of New York.)
CHAN: [slowly lifts coffee cup to his mouth] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [slowly sets the cup back down] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [Joey intercepts the cup and puts it down for him]. She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore.
Chandler (Stands up and walks to Joey): Listen...this is really nice. Do you... (sees his chequebook) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?
Ross: Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.
Ross: I told you it wasn�t long, but there is an amazing connection between us.
Joey: Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Monica enters.]
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey is trying to sell some cologne.]