words in movies
Ross: What did you want to show us? Because all I can see is this bitchin' van!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all there.]
Ross: Nooo!! Gandolf?! Gandolf is coming to town?
Phoebe: Wow! Okay, dude alert! And who is this guy?
Chandler: This is gonna be soo cool, dude, we never party anymore!
Ross: Joey, you are gonna love this guy. Gandolf is like the party wizard!
Ross: Gandolf the wizard. (Joey is still confused) Hello! Didnt you read Lord of the Rings in high school?
Rachel: Well, actually, I meant for me. The hiring committee is meeting people all day and
Joanna: You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the ugliest guy to get that job.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready to party.]
Chandler: Look you dont understand, Gandolf is amazing. Yknow youre never know whats gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia!
Ross: Ohh, man! Chicago, is sooo lucky!
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is meeting with Mr. Posner, Mrs. Lynch, and Joanna the hiring committee.]
Mr. Posner: Yes, thats very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is there as Monica enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
Monica: Hey! My first review is out!
Monica: (answering it) Who is it?
Allesandro: (entering) I want a retraction! Our food is not inedible swill!
Allesandro: Well our service is not grossly incompetent.
Allesandro: How long is this gonna take? Cause I got another critic to go yell at.
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel is confronting Joanna about her interview.]
Rachel: Oh my God!! Ohh, that is it! Im leaving! You are just a horrible person!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is entering, excited.]
Phoebe: Okay, is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job! The wedding reception.
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day, Phoebe is there.]
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Rachel: Oh, hi Mrs. Lynch! Is Joanna in already?
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
[Scene: Monicas new kitchen, Allesandro is introducing her to her new employees.]
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is drinking coffee as Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, except Joey, is there. Phoebe is, well you y'know.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Ross enters with his all his hair sticking straight up.]
Joey: But what about how much taller he is than me?
Ross: No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?
[Scene: Street, Phoebe is being followed by some guy, as they pass a flower vendor. Phoebe turns around and the guy quickly picks up some flowers and continues following her.]
[Scene: Grammercy Bistero, Ross and Kristen are waiting for their table to be ready. Ross is returning from talking to the matired.]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Ross is eating the dinner Carol made for Susan.]
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is standing in front of his door.]
Monica: No-no, wait! Just let me finish, okay? This isnt something that we just, we just impulsively decided in-in Vegas, this is something we both really want. And it is going to happen.
Rachel: Emmm. Now, instead of the vegetables, is there anyway I can substitute the three-pound lobster?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone else is there as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight.
Rachel: I know! I know, she says its all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. (Ross looks at his table.) So come on, shes gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there. Bonnie is telling them of her sex-capades.]
Rachel: Well, y'know, the reason I didn't wanna go running with you is because um, well y'know the way that you run is a little...(Starts flapping her arms)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Rachel is there as Joey gets up and starts putting on his coat.]
MONICA: Ok, it is definitely less than a ballpark.
Rachel: Im not moving! (She re-hangs a picture, crookedly.) Is that picture straight?
[Scene: Central Perk. The entire gang is there, and Chandler and Monica are handing out presents.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as enter except Joey enter.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is holding a book as she, Rachel, and Monica drink some tea as Chandler looks on.]
Phoebe: Okay. But the question is whos gonna go first. Cause whoever goes second is the bitch.
Ross: I can't believe this, she's our daughter! That you would treat her like some kind of showdog is inexcusable!
Joey: Naa, no. This is the part I'm actually good at.
Phoebe: Oh Rachel, this is all so Papa dont preach.
(Dr. Geller, the man with the Ph.D. in Paleontology, is trying to find a place to hide, but this supposedly intelligent man in the hands of clich�d scriptwriters runs around with his pants down around his ankles like one of the Three Stooges.)
Rachel: Oh my God, I cant believe this is a real $20,000 check, oh this is just so exciting.
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Rachel: Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what?
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Ross: Which is fine! Because you just turned(Removes two candles from the cake)twenty-eight!
Rachel: Well, this is really awkward (staring at the floor) Oh, and I can leave!
Joey: No, no, no, I'm telling ya. Imagine yourself living in a supermarket and you will understand okay? So the question is, what do we do?
[Time lapse. Now everyone but Ross and Phoebe is back at Monica and Rachel's.]
Joey: No, but I hear lyme disease is open, so... (crosses fingers)
Ross: Ok, ok, here we go. (he crouches down near her stomach) Ok, where am I talking to, here? I mean, uh, well, there is one way that seems to offer a certain acoustical advantage, but...
[Cut to Chandler in the hallway practicing dancing and is doing it very well.]
Chandler: Look, the only way I will even consider this is if they offer a lot more than just season seats.
Joey: Oh, see thats where youre wrong. Whatever it is I can do it. And if didnt see it up there, just-just try me.
Chandler: Hey! Im sorry! That(sees that Joey is about to leave) where are you going?
Joey: Hey, you know what naked card game is never boring?
[Scene: The casino bar, Phoebe and Monica are sitting at the bar, while Wayne Newton's signature song Danke Schoen is playing in the background.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Pete: Okay, my trainer, Ho Chi, is teaching me a combination of Gee Koon Doe and Brazilian street fighting, Ive even had my own octagon training ring designed.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Everyone is helping clean the table.]
Phoebe: (looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.]
JOEY: Phoebs look, if you want to know what the deal is, you're just gonna have to ask him.
SUSIE: How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?
Joey: If the Homo Sapiens, were in fact Homo-sapien, is that why there extinct?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
[Cut to later, Phoebe is still in the chair and Rachel is laying down as Monica enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
[Scene: A lobby, Ross is waiting for Rachel, after her interview.]
(the receptions is puzzled. She goes in the back.)
(Walks out and after he closes the door Phoebe turns around and takes a bite out of what is left of his candy bar.)
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
CHANDLER: Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is coming back from work to find Phoebe, Rachel, and someone else with her back turned is there.]
Ross: Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now?
Richard: Okay, okay, one things changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end.
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Chandler: She is gonna recognize that I did a nice thing and-and, appreciate it.
Chandler: I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Rachel: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is running to answer the door.]
Ross: Oh no! That-thatll just bring me down! This was great! I mean I-I-I was great! This is a great day! Yknow what? Im buying everyone coffee. All right? If someone would just grab my wallet, its in my pocket.
Phoebe: Well, Frank has to quit college because his super fertile sister is having three babies! I need to make a lot of money really fast, and I had an idea that I want to talk to you (Points to Chandler) about, cause you work for a big company. Okay, insider trading, what information is there that you can give me.
Monica: This is so cool, maybe this is something you can do every week.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is waiting impatiently for Joshua.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler and Phoebe are entering. This is the place where the guy who bought Chandlers ring is going to propose.]
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Ross: (to Elizabeth) And that is why we cannot see each other anymore.
CHANDLER AND JOEY: Hi. We're the guys who called about the baby. We left the baby on ths bus. Is he here? Is he here?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for the cute guy to show up for his cell phone. Rachel is putting on perfume by spraying it ahead of her face, and moving into it. Phoebe tries to steal some.]
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Rachel is entering and Ross is making some room on the shelves for his stuff.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, first season, Monica is making a giant sub-sandwich and is talking to Rachel. I think its The One With Fake Monica.]
Joey: I know, and only one layer of jam?! What is up with that?
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.
Chandler: Well, at least the perfume is not mine, be thankful for that!
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Rachel: Yeah I know. She ran into him at my office and they just made out. And the craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip shed heard all year.
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there eating breakfast. Chandler is cleaning out his wallet.]
Rachel: Umm, well lets see uh, this one is Tom Brokaw.
Monica:: Is this not the good part? Do you want me to fast forward to something a little toothier.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Ooh, Im setting the phone down. (does so) But Im still here! Just dont go anywhere Im still here. (starts to put on the sweater) Dont-dont switch or anything, cause Im, Im right here. (She has pulled the sweater over her head, but her head is stuck in a sleeve.) Just one sec. One sec! One second!! (She is now frantically trying to get the sweater on, as Monica returns from the bathroom.) Wait! One second! Just
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
[Scene: The Subway, Phoebe is singing for change.]
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
Rachel: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?
Monica: That's right. [Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is talking on the phone and pacing.]
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]