words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Monica: (To Rachel) Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor.
Monica: Since we've been going out, I think I've mentioned his name twice!
Monica: It's not Richard! Okay? It's this new guy and he's really good.
Monica: Hey Rach, remember that great song, Me, Myself, and I? (And on the "I" part she mimics poking her eye.)
Rachel: (flinches again) Monica! Come on!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Bye!
Monica: Why are so mad at him?
Monica: Well, it just seems that
Chandler: All right, great, road trip baby! (To Monica) This okay with you?
Monica: Chandler! You don't have to ask for my permission. (Quietly) You can go.
Monica: Hey Rach, come on! We're gonna be late for the eye doctor appointment!
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Phoebe: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
Joey: Monica. Oh huh, I always thought it would be Rachel.
Joey: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Monica: (looks at it more closely) Oh that's an eye removal machine.
Monica: I'm kidding! I'm kidding!
The Doctor: I'm Dr. Miller. Monica told me you were a little nervous, but don't worry everything's gonna be just fine.
Monica: A small puff of air, now come on!
Monica: Y'know what, I'm gonna hold her head.
Monica: Okay. (Monica backs off.)
Monica: Dr. Miller? (She covers her right eye and reads from the chart) P E C F D.
Dr. Miller: Very good Monica! You know where they are.
Monica: I sure do! (She runs over to a drawer, opens it, and grabs a lollipop.) (To Rachel) And you don't get one!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Monica: They're still in my coat.
(Monica stares at him.)
Monica: I love you.
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
Monica: I wanna say good-bye at the car!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
Monica: Oh, I know! Umm, is it because he's always correcting people's grammar? Whom! Whom! Sometimes it's who!
Monica: Chandler! What are you doing here?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to apply her eye drops while Monica looks on.]
Monica: Not even close.
Monica: Okay! All right! Let's do it!
Monica: Sit down. (They sit down on the couch.)
Monica: Put your head back.
Monica: All right.
Monica: Now, open your eyes.
Monica: How many fingers am I holding up? (She's not holding any up.)
Monica: Oh my God, I was thinking four.
Monica: Yes! All right, y'know what? Why don't we start with a practice run? Okay?
Monica: No drops!
Monica: Okay.
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
Monica: Then why did you move?!
Monica: All right, come here! (She gets up and drags Rachel off of the couch by her legs.)
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
(Monica starts biting on the eyedropper, spraying the fluid all over. But Rachel keeps turning her head back and forth and Monica keeps missing.)
Rachel: Monica! Stop it!
Monica: (spitting out the eyedropper) Damn! It's empty!
Rachel: Wow, y'know if Joey and Chandler walked in right now, we could make a fortune! (Monica is straddling Rachel and holding her arms down. In a rather risqu� pose, at least for primetime TV.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse, Phoebe and Monica are playing cards as the phone rings.]
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Monica: What did you do to his sweater vests?
Joey: Let's just say there's a well-dressed pack of dogs in Ohio. Hey Monica listen is-is Phoebe there? I gotta ask her something about the car.
Monica: Yeah, she's here. Hold on a second. (She hands the phone to Phoebe.)
Monica: Well, maybe you should send him something. So that when he gets to Las Vegas he'll know that you're sorry.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone is ringing.]
Monica: (answering it) Hello?
Joey: (on phone from Vegas) Hey Monica, it's Joey!
Monica: Hey Joey! Aww, you remembered even though you're a big star!
Monica: Joey, what's it like on a movie set, huh? Do you have a dressing room? Do you have a chair with your name on it?
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The gang is surrounding Rachel at key positions.]
(As she moves to get it, Monica yells )
Monica: Go!!
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Monica: Okay! Okay! Okay! (She succeeds in getting the eye drops in and everyone climbs off of Rachel.) We'll see you in about 3 to 4 hours.
Monica: Its okay, cause y'know what? You dont really need me for the business.
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room)
Monica: (Remotely turning off the television) okay, Pheebs, theyre gone.
MONICA: That was you?
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
MONICA: No. But I remember people telling me about it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the group is coming back from the roof.]
(They go open the door and reveal Monica being spun around on the floor polisher and getting the cord wrapped around her legs.)
MONICA: Yeah, I'll be fine.� You know, maybe I'll stay here and practice the art of seduction.
[Monica enters.]
Monica: See if he has ice.
MONICA: So your first whole weekend without Ben, what're you guys gonna do?
Monica: Vividly.
Monica: Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk Gavin from your office didn't show up (Gavin shows up at the balcony windows).
MONICA: Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you know I'm not even thinking about that thing that we're not supposed to think about.
Monica: Okay, but if we don't get this house, she's stil gonna show up wherever we go! I mean, at least if she's here, it eliminates the element of suprise. I mean, never again will you have to hear the three words that make your balls jump back up inside your body. (She shows this with her index finger, mimicking it pushing something up)
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Phoebe: (with her mouthful) Hi Monica.
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Monica: Oh Joey, Melanie called, said she's gonna be late.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is handing out copies of her book to the gang.]
Monica: That's Dudley Moore. I said I wanted it like Demi Moore.
[Monica picks up the bag, while Ross closes the door and hits Monica with his tail. They walk into the living room, and Monica empties the bag.]
MONICA: Uh, wait, backstage?
Monica: Oh myThis is so embarrassing. Oh my God, Im never gonna get massaged again!
Monica: Thanks, that would be great. Hey, honey, wouldn't that be great?
Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are still debating about how to tell Rachel that Chandlers moving in and shes moving out.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is decorating for Christmas.]
Chandler: But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so shed know I was okay.
MONICA: Oh my god, little Stevie Fisher? How've you been?
MONICA: Ross.
Monica: No! Rachel is meeting us here.
Monica: It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know its a little sudden, and its a little rushed, and its totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesnt mean I cant. Right? I mean Im-Im crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Monica: Oh really? Okay, let's compare, shall we.
Monica: Hard 8?! We should call it easy 8!
Monica: Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me.
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Joey are sitting at the dinner table. Chandler comes from the bedroom with his suitcase.]
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica has made food for Phoebe and Rachel to taste.]
Monica: Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story Ive had such a craving for them.
Monica: Limited seating?! (Screechingly) I am just one tiny person!
(Everyone cheers. Monica opens the door. Bobby is obviously very depressed)
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, the scene is continued from earlier, only Ross has dismissed the class and is now talking to Monica and Rachel.]
Monica: Ross, I cant believe youd do that!
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are sitting there and not talking to each other.]
Monica: Hey, Rach, can you give me a hand with this box?
Monica: I know. How could we have let this happen?
Monica: Okay, looks like Ross and I are captains. Okay, so um, I bunnied first so that means I get to pick first. Joey.
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there.]
[Monica turns on the radio.]
MONICA: So Joey, why didn't you grow a moustache?
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there.]
Phoebe: You mean whenever Monica and Chandler where like y'know doing laundry or going grocery shopping orOh! All that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from camp!
Monica: Heres your key. All right, you have to christen it! Now, go out and come back in!
MONICA: Oh, and the newspaper delivery guy.
Chandler: (To Monica) Maybe we should give them some privacy.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
MONICA: Yeah. I hope she can kick his ass.
CHANDLER, MONICA, and JOEY: Hey.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all there, discussing their bad luck with men.]
Monica: (starts to cry) Oh good God, Ross! How the hell do you do it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben.]
CHANDLER, MONICA, and JOEY: Hey.
Monica: About a half an hour.
MONICA: Cute.
Monica: I'm Monica Geller. I've been taking care of you.
MONICA: Ross, that is gorgeous!
MONICA: Wow.
MONICA: Remember it? What do you think this is, a freckle?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
MONICA: Oh, wait a minute honey.
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
MONICA: Guys, we bought the tickets.
Joey: Fine. (looks around, then focuses on Monica)
Monica: Youre really sticking with the shell necklace huh? (Points to necklace of shells hes wearing.)
MONICA: Hi.
[Monica and Ross enter.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters clutching his phone.]
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, theyre getting ready to leave for the party.]
MONICA: I hope she's OK.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching football, and its actually the right game Green Bay at Detroit (although not this years), as Monica is getting everything ready.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is just getting off of the intercom and turns off the TV which is still in the SAP mode.]
MONICA: You're meeting Richard?
Monica: (on phone) Michelle, I only beeped in so I could hear my message. I mean that's allowed. Yeah-huh! I mean look, yeah, you know what I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell your Dad about. What do you mean, you're not comfortable with this? Come on we're friends!! (Michelle hangs up) That bitch always hated me. I'm calling her back.
MONICA: Ross, the heat!
MONICA: Well put it back.
Phoebe: No. (Monica brushes Coma Guy's hair in the other direction) No! No! ...So, um, do you think he's doing any better than he was this morning?
Monica: (To Emma) Bouncy baby, Bouncy baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby. (Emma stops crying and falls asleep)
Monica: Hey, Rach. How was it with your friends? (She and Phoebe scream.) Okay! How would you like some Tiki Death Punch? (She pours the contents of the blender into some glasses.)
[Scene: The casino floor, Chandler and Monica are walking through it.]
Monica: Listen umm, Ive been thinking, its not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
MONICA: Well, he told me he was going out with the guys, I just didn't know that you were the guys.
MONICA: Whatever.
MONICA: Ross.
(He goes over and opens the door to reveal Monica holding a plate of cookies and a fan to blow the smell across the hall.)