words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Monica: (To Rachel) Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor.
Monica: Since we've been going out, I think I've mentioned his name twice!
Monica: It's not Richard! Okay? It's this new guy and he's really good.
Monica: Hey Rach, remember that great song, Me, Myself, and I? (And on the "I" part she mimics poking her eye.)
Rachel: (flinches again) Monica! Come on!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Bye!
Monica: Why are so mad at him?
Monica: Well, it just seems that
Chandler: All right, great, road trip baby! (To Monica) This okay with you?
Monica: Chandler! You don't have to ask for my permission. (Quietly) You can go.
Monica: Hey Rach, come on! We're gonna be late for the eye doctor appointment!
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Phoebe: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
Joey: Monica. Oh huh, I always thought it would be Rachel.
Joey: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Monica: (looks at it more closely) Oh that's an eye removal machine.
Monica: I'm kidding! I'm kidding!
The Doctor: I'm Dr. Miller. Monica told me you were a little nervous, but don't worry everything's gonna be just fine.
Monica: A small puff of air, now come on!
Monica: Y'know what, I'm gonna hold her head.
Monica: Okay. (Monica backs off.)
Monica: Dr. Miller? (She covers her right eye and reads from the chart) P E C F D.
Dr. Miller: Very good Monica! You know where they are.
Monica: I sure do! (She runs over to a drawer, opens it, and grabs a lollipop.) (To Rachel) And you don't get one!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Monica: They're still in my coat.
(Monica stares at him.)
Monica: I love you.
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
Monica: I wanna say good-bye at the car!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
Monica: Oh, I know! Umm, is it because he's always correcting people's grammar? Whom! Whom! Sometimes it's who!
Monica: Chandler! What are you doing here?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to apply her eye drops while Monica looks on.]
Monica: Not even close.
Monica: Okay! All right! Let's do it!
Monica: Sit down. (They sit down on the couch.)
Monica: Put your head back.
Monica: All right.
Monica: Now, open your eyes.
Monica: How many fingers am I holding up? (She's not holding any up.)
Monica: Oh my God, I was thinking four.
Monica: Yes! All right, y'know what? Why don't we start with a practice run? Okay?
Monica: No drops!
Monica: Okay.
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
Monica: Then why did you move?!
Monica: All right, come here! (She gets up and drags Rachel off of the couch by her legs.)
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
(Monica starts biting on the eyedropper, spraying the fluid all over. But Rachel keeps turning her head back and forth and Monica keeps missing.)
Rachel: Monica! Stop it!
Monica: (spitting out the eyedropper) Damn! It's empty!
Rachel: Wow, y'know if Joey and Chandler walked in right now, we could make a fortune! (Monica is straddling Rachel and holding her arms down. In a rather risqu� pose, at least for primetime TV.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse, Phoebe and Monica are playing cards as the phone rings.]
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Monica: What did you do to his sweater vests?
Joey: Let's just say there's a well-dressed pack of dogs in Ohio. Hey Monica listen is-is Phoebe there? I gotta ask her something about the car.
Monica: Yeah, she's here. Hold on a second. (She hands the phone to Phoebe.)
Monica: Well, maybe you should send him something. So that when he gets to Las Vegas he'll know that you're sorry.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone is ringing.]
Monica: (answering it) Hello?
Joey: (on phone from Vegas) Hey Monica, it's Joey!
Monica: Hey Joey! Aww, you remembered even though you're a big star!
Monica: Joey, what's it like on a movie set, huh? Do you have a dressing room? Do you have a chair with your name on it?
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The gang is surrounding Rachel at key positions.]
(As she moves to get it, Monica yells )
Monica: Go!!
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Monica: Okay! Okay! Okay! (She succeeds in getting the eye drops in and everyone climbs off of Rachel.) We'll see you in about 3 to 4 hours.
Monica: Honey you-you got to beat your scores!
Monica: Not just the phone pen. I never get my messages.
Monica: Yeah? The work problem?
Monica: Honey, both yours.
Monica: That's weird. I've had the same number of beers as you and I don't feel anything at all. (Chandler approaches)
Chandler and Monica: What?!
Joey: I know! Thats why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?
Monica: He is the man in the black dress.
Monica: You said your boss wants to buy your baby?!
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Rachel: Well, she told me too! (Points to Monica and Joey glares at her.)
Monica: Subtle guys!
Monica: Thats not your regular dry cleaners.
Monica: What?!
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Monica are walking down it.]
Monica: Yeah, Id really like to.
Monica: Yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
Monica: (following her) Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over.
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Monica: Really you can do that?
Monica: The good stuff, huh?
Monica: You got a present for my parents. Thats so sweet.
Monica: What?!
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Thats my old dog. He passed away years ago.
Monica: And Ive got the car keys.
Monica: Well, spring vacation is doing nice things with your grandparents. Spring break youre doing frat guys.
Monica: Its just that, its so much.
Monica: I feel terrible.
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
(As she walks away, Chandler mouths a scream to Monica. How motions and mouths, "It's okay, it's okay.")
Monica: All right. Now do it soon, he just asked me how to convert his dollars into Vermont money.
Monica: (pause) I have no idea.
(Cut to Monica and Chandler)
Monica: Yeah. In fact, I like her so much you tell her I want my cookies early this year! Yknow, a box of Thin Mints and some Tag-a-Longs.
Joey: Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are playing with a Ouija board, Phoebes beeper goes off and Monica screams.]
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
JOEY: Hey, Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath, I hope that's alright.
(Cut to Monica, at the microphone)
Ross: Oh, no, Mom, its just Monica this year.
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Monica: Excuse us! (then to Phoebe) Alright here's a question: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? (raises her hand)
Rachel: I have so got it. Theres gonna be rumours about this, theres no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know.
Monica: Oh, come on.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are there.]
Monica: Hey!
Monica: You know, I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular. (Chandler laughs.)
Monica: (To Chandler) You think were being obvious?
Dr. Mitchell: (on the phone) Monica and Rachel's apartment. Err yeh, aayah, yeh, just one second... (handing it to Monica) ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad.
Monica: Rach? (Points to Jill.)
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Monica and Erica are talking about the baby, and Monica is rubbing Erica's tummy.]
Monica: Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? (He looks at her) Come on, one of us had to mention him.
Monica: Hi, how are you doing Kelly?
Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)
Chandler: Well, somebody should. (Monica glares at him.)
(Rachel sticks a marshmellow into Monicas nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Monica: I cant walk. Okay? Okay? These boots were a huge mistake!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch still staring at the screen.]
Monica: Joey! Youre doing great!
MONICA: Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. [goes in the bathroom]
Monica: (interrupting) I love it! Its huge!! Lets open it! Open it!! (Monica rips open the paper.)
Monica: Bye. (They resume their previous positions.)
Monica: (stopping him) No! Joey, we swore wed never tell!
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Chandler: Oh my God! (He and Monica walk away.)
Monica: Well, we-we had to go back because I forget my jacket.
Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross!
Monica: Great! Were hangin in the kitchen! (She drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room) Lets stay in the kitchen!
Monica: Uh Tim? This is Phoebe. Phoebe this is Tim, my new sous chef.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler, and Monica are there. Rachel is reading everyones horoscope.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Monica: You slept with her didnt you?
Monica: Hey!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Monica: Oh my God, your mother!
Monica: Okay, yknow what? Dont worry, okay? Well take care of it. Well call her. Just go home and get ready.
Monica: (interrupting her) Oh give it a rest!
Mrs. Green: Oh, hello Monica.
Monica: Yeah, Im sorry. Im-Im so sorry.
Monica: Thank you. (Hangs up.)
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
Monica: Hi!
Monica: Shes still mad.
Monica: You ordered a stripper for the shower?! That is totally inappropriate!
Monica: I dont believe in soul mates either.
Monica: (Robin is speaking loudly again) I...
Monica: We are the hottest! Huh? No one is hotter than we are! You're the best.
Monica: What?
Monica: Okay, where is the Kat Stevens CD?
MONICA: All right. We're gonna go. It's not for another six hours. We're gonna go then.
Monica: Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
[Flashback to when Chandler was introduced to Monica in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Monica: Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call.
Monica: Child-birth, its a natural thing! Its beautiful.
Monica: Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies.
Monica and Chandler's apartment