words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is on the phone.]
OPENING TITLES [Scene: Monica and Rachels apartment. The whole gang is there.]
MONICA: I can't believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve.
MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
MONICA: Please, when he left town you stayed in your pajamas for a month and I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
MONICA: Well, didn't you?
MONICA: I can't believe you didn't tell me.
MONICA: What have I not told you?
MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler who's looking sheepish] You are dead meat.
MONICA: Oh it's not big, not at all, you know, kinda the same lines as, say, oh I don't know, having a third nipple.
MONICA: That is wild.
RACHEL: [to Monica at the counter] Ooh, Julie's so smart, Julie's so special.
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
MONICA: I can't believe you're dressing up for him. I mean, you're just, you're setting yourself up all over again.
[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.]
RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
MONICA: Hell, I wanna see Joey.
MONICA: All I say is, she better get the job.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Everyone is sitting around. Monica enters from bathroom.]
MONICA: You know, it still smells like monkey in there.
MONICA: Rachel, that's all we do.
MONICA: Rach, I know her pretty well, can I go? [Rachel gives her a look from hell] That's fine.
[Outside in the hallway, Chandler, Joey, and Monica exit]
Ross: (catching the ball) Monica! Stop throwing it so hard! We're on the same team!
Phoebe: (to Monica) Yknow, suddenly I find you very attractive.
[Cut back to Monica and Chandlers room, they are making out again as theres another knock on the door.]
Monica: All right, biggest suite in the place. Come on! (Rolls the dice.)
Monica: Well, that's different. My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states. What were you thinking?
Monica: I pick you, Phoebe.
Monica: Why else would we be here?
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross!
Monica: You bought a boat?
Monica: Youre-youre-youre gonna bring the Barca Lounger over here?
(Monica goes back underwater as Joey re-enters.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Oh, Phoebe, she couldn't stop crying! With those thick glasses, her tears looked giant.
Chandler: Oh yes! Monica, get in here! There's a high-speed car chase on!
Monica: Okay, so what do you, what do you want to do? Lets do something crazy!
Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!!
Monica: He just told me at the counter. He made me promise not to tell, but I couldn't hold it in any longer!
[They run out and knock on Monica and Rachel's door]
MONICA: It's for their own good.
Monica: (still sick) Chandler!
Monica: (entering) Chandler, I think Im sick.
Monica: Come on! I really need your help!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]
Monica: Yeah?
Monica: Okay, if you really wanna have sex
Monica: God, I'm sorry! I'll go back and get it!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Rosss apartment. We see that Rosss apartment is empty.]
Monica: Is he crazy?! You just had Rosss baby!
Ross: I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all weve been through, I justyknow I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing.
MONICA: Look. [they look at Joey in the kitchen with a cigar in his mouth, looking at his reflection in a spatula] Joey, do you know we can see you from here?
Monica: Joey we know you steal our food.
MONICA: You know, the guys are probably having a great time.
Monica: Are you kidding me?! Is this; is this turning you on?
Monica: What do you want me to do? Just sit here silently while you three have a conversation?
Monica: And everybody has to wear costumes. (And theres general disconcertment.) Come on! Itll be fun!
Monica: What? We took a walk, nothing happened. I can back with nothing all over me.
Monica: Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Monica: (crying) This is my favorite part.
Monica: Yeah youre right. I dont know what I was thinking.
Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.
Monica: Poor thing!
Monica: Where were your parents?
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
Monica: Okay. Lets bring it in.
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
Monica: Youre jealous of Princess Caroline?
Monica: Guys, whats going on?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Monica: Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you.
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
(They walk into a completely redecorated and repainted room. And of course, the room is immaculate. Only an obsessive-compulsive like Monica could find fault with the room.)
Monica: Wh-what, why?
Monica: Yeah youre right, we cantwe shouldnt watch this.
Monica: Hold on a second! What is that on her ankle?
Monica: Well, shes not going to find them lying in the grass like that.
[Ross glares at Monica.]
Monica: Hey sweetie!
Monica: Well what are you gonna do when he finds out he wasnt even asked?!
Monica: Stop it!
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
Monica: All right, Im gonna go steam my wedding dress okay? Who wants the responsibility of making sure nothing happens to it?
Monica: What is wrong with you?!!!
Monica: Cause if you do that means youd be cancelling it for me, and were just friends.
Monica: No you robot!!
Monica: Oh hi! Hi! Yknow, we were just talking about bacon.
Monica: I am good. I finished my book.
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: (hits him lightly) Oh!
Monica: Thats also like the tenth time you told us.
Ross: No, I just think Monica was that fat.
Monica: I dont remember. Do you wanna take a walk?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel are there. Phoebe enters carrying video tapes.]
Rachel: Ohh, of course Monicas brother!
Monica: Thanks.
Monica: Yes, but you are dead inside.
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, she is frantically working and is handing two finished dishes to a waitress.]
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Bye.
Monica: Oh no! Whats the matter?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are entering carrying groceries and find Phoebe already there standing in front of a huge object that has been gift wrapped.]
Monica: Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant!
Monica: Hey Phoebe! Guess what?
Monica: Hey!
[Time lapse. Monica is wearing the dress and starring at herself in the mirror.]
[Scene: later, Richard and Monica are dancing]
Monica: (getting up) Joey!
Chandler: No not okay, you cant look for Monicas presents!
Monica: Rach, hes a friend of ours.
Monica: No.
Monica: And I assume, Chandler, you are still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays.
Joey: (turning and whispering to Monica) Shes not crazy is she?
Monica: Ohhh! (Takes the plate.) No! This is my friend Rachel, we went to High School together.
Monica: (panicked) Oh wait! You didnt just sit on my Kit-Kats did you?!!
Phoebe: (yelling from Monicas room) No-no!! No!!
Monica: What?!
Monica: (laughs) You realize what you are dont you?
Monica: Youre his bitch.
Monica: Yes!!
Monica: Oh my God!