words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is on the phone.]
OPENING TITLES [Scene: Monica and Rachels apartment. The whole gang is there.]
MONICA: I can't believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve.
MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
MONICA: Please, when he left town you stayed in your pajamas for a month and I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
MONICA: Well, didn't you?
MONICA: I can't believe you didn't tell me.
MONICA: What have I not told you?
MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler who's looking sheepish] You are dead meat.
MONICA: Oh it's not big, not at all, you know, kinda the same lines as, say, oh I don't know, having a third nipple.
MONICA: That is wild.
RACHEL: [to Monica at the counter] Ooh, Julie's so smart, Julie's so special.
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
MONICA: I can't believe you're dressing up for him. I mean, you're just, you're setting yourself up all over again.
[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.]
RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
MONICA: Hell, I wanna see Joey.
MONICA: All I say is, she better get the job.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Everyone is sitting around. Monica enters from bathroom.]
MONICA: You know, it still smells like monkey in there.
MONICA: Rachel, that's all we do.
MONICA: Rach, I know her pretty well, can I go? [Rachel gives her a look from hell] That's fine.
[Outside in the hallway, Chandler, Joey, and Monica exit]
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.
Monica: Oh stop it. Joey already told me.
Monica: What?
Monica: I thought that was a good thing.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Why do you need it?
Monica: Men are such idiots.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Rachel is singing some kind of song.]
Monica: Nooo!
Monica: Sooo?
Monica: That's it. That's my worse Thanksgiving.
Monica: The baby shower for Phoebe!
Monica: I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again!
Monica: Whoa whoa whoa! Wherere you goin?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is returning from shopping and Rachel is there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is working on a new song.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang except Chandler is there.]
MONICA: You go girl. I can't pull that off can I?
Monica: Come on guys! Lets go! Come on, its second down.
Monica: Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.
Monica: Hi Phoebe.
Monica: Hormones.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
Monica: Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!
Monica: Two girls and a boy?
Monica: (lying down on a mattress) Oh! Ohhhhh! Oh! Phoebe, come here. Aw, this is my new bed. You gotta feel this bad boy.
Monica: Oh my God, sit down! Sit down! How long as it been since weve seen each other?
Monica: What?!
Rachel: What?! She made the tea! (Points to Monica.)
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: Rachel, get the book! The book!
Monica: The Bible?!
Monica: Yeah, theres one right under the cabinet.
Monica: How could you mess this up? It's so easy? You go into the booth, you count to five and you turn around!!
Mrs. Geller: Monica! I think Rachel's here!
Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?
Monica: What, he doesnt like Josh?
Monica: What did you tell them?
Monica: How do you feel?
Monica: Some moms do that.
Monica: Yeah.
Monica and Rachel: What?!
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: Oh, sweetie! (They all hug.)
PHOEBE: I can see that, 'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin. MONICA: And the fact that they're both monkeys.
Fat Monica: Oh, why? Why? What happened?
(Joey and Ross go into Monica and Rachel's apartment)
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Yep! You got the tickets?
Monica: Yeah, okay, give that a try!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, Monica is telling Phoebe where everything is.]
Monica: You're from Yonkers! Your last name is Buffo-Martisis!
Ross: (looking at the coffee table where his money was) Hey umm, was-was Monica here?
Fat Monica: Yeah, yeah, and you were going him y'know, your flower.
Monica: (runs over to her) I tried to reach you at work. Theres....been a fire.
Monica: Its nice.
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
Monica: Okay, just get a lot better. (pause) Fast.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are finishing up some cookies.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: See? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Monica: (taps Phoebe on her shoulder) Um... hi there.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in and starts raiding the fridge. Then Rachel comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her waist, drying herself with another towel. Chandler and Rachel startle each other and she drops the towel for a second and snatches the rug off the couch.]
(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachels forcing Monica and Chandler to follow.)
MONICA: You know what? I'm not gonna be able to enjoy this.
Monica: Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs.
(Monica, Joey, and Chandler all shake their heads.)
Monica: No, umm, he met some girl at the coffee house.
Monica: And lucky means, more cleavage?
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: (interrupting) No! You have lasagnas! (Storms out and an awkward silence follows.)
Monica: Hey!
Monica: She said that?!
Monica: Umm
Monica: Why?!
MONICA: Wow. Oh wow. You know I love you too, right.
Monica: So, is Joey gonna stop snoring?
Monica: (laughs) Yes, I did! And you are welcome!
Monica: Come on! Come on, if we have sex again itll double our chances of getting pregnant. Do you think that closets still available?
Monica: Sometimes we were.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: We were shopping, and we had lunch.
Monica: Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?
Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Phoebe answers it.]
Monica: Youll see.
Monica: Oh my God! Hes gonna rat me out!
Monica: I got you the foot massager.
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
Monica: Ohh. And I dont even have a date.
Chandler: Look, I-Im just gonna be right across the hall and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up Im moving right back in with you!
MONICA: Give it to me.
Monica: Hey.
Monica: (to Chandler) Shh!! (On phone) Wait, what?
Ross and Monica: Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is entering, Monica and Rachel are talking on the couch.]