words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the kitchen, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the table writing one notepads while Chandler is looking over their shoulders.]
Chandler: Now, that's a lot harder than it sounds. You always forget at least one, or in some cases... fourteen (looks over to Monica).
Monica: It's a stupid game and I wasn't playing against other people, so technically I didn't lose.
Monica: Nobody cares about the Dakotas. (Thats true in so many ways, trust me, Ive lived in one and been to the other.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross is sitting in the couch doing Chandler's game. Chandler is sitting in his barca-lounger. The girls are in the kitchen.]
Monica: 'Cause you invited your assistant.
Monica: Oh! Why didn't you tell me? I made him his own individual sweet potato stuffed pumpkin.
Monica: Now you think I wouldn't enjoy that, because it is so fake, (Laughs) but I still do.
Monica: All right, I'm out of oven space. I'm gonna turn on Joey's. Please, watch him! Do not let Joey eat any of the food!
Chandler: I am only one man! (Monica heads out) Okay Ross, time is up!
Monica: (entering, to Joey and Rachel) Hey, did you guys know, that your oven doesn't work?
Monica: Ross, I'm gonna use yours, okay?
Monica: Chandler? Can you give me a hand? (Grabs her jacket)
[Chandler and Monica head out with some stuff. Phoebe comes out of her room with a bag.]
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Monica and Chandler enter.]
Monica: Rosss apartment is nice! How come we don't hang out here more often?
Monica: That's my pie!
Monica: Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
Monica: We left Joey alone with the food! (Walks towards the window and looks out) Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Ross is still doing his list. Rachel and Joey are feeding the dog as the phone rings.]
Monica: Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment?
Monica: Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch!
Monica: Yes there is! He's black and white and shaggy and [Cut to Monicas apartment] he's sitting next to Rachel and licking Rachel's hand.
Monica: I'll be right there!
[Time lapse, Chandler and Monica enter.]
Monica: (walks to Phoebe's door) Phoebe! Phoebe, open up!
Monica: Oooh, I wish she could stay here, but Chandler is allergic!
Monica: Chandler, if that dog's been here that long, and you haven't had a reaction, maybe you're not allergic to this dog?
Monica and Phoebe: Why?
Monica: Don't do what?
Monica: 1250.
Phoebe: All right. We're gonna take Clunkers to Rosss. We'll be back in a minute. (Gets up with Monica to do so.)
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Really? I'd say 3 to 4.
Monica: When it's your assistant, I would say never.
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Monica and Phoebe sitting on the floor next to Clunkers basket.]
Monica: Okay Phoebe, we should probably go back now.
Monica: Stop it. Stop! Okay let's go. We can be strong.
Monica: Oh my god! Did you hear that? She said Monica! (She goes back to Clunkers again) Oooh, I can't leave her!
Monica: That's not gonna work.
Monica: Hey! I didn't know either.
Monica: Yeah, I knew.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross lays a lot off small papers, shaped like the U.S. states onto the floor making a map with the states. Phoebe enters]
[Phoebe waves Monica in. Monica sneaks in with the bag with Clunkers in it and heads for Phoebe's room.]
Monica: Relax, Ross. She's not made of ice cream!
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Where's Monica?
Ross: Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day, my dad decides, he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend Phyllis take away the dog. And that was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that. Only with a few details changed.
Monica: Hi, honey.
Monica: What? Why, why would...
Phoebe: (interrupts her, to Monica) Shh, wait and see. Maybe we will, maybe we won't.
Monica: That's right, she came back all by herself.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, later that night, there is someone knocking on the door and Chandler stumbles out into the living room, turns on the light, looks through the peephole, and opens the door.]
Monica: Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this morning.
Monica: Yknow, maybe its best that we never got to do it again.
MONICA: Damnit Ross, get your butt out of the bathroom.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Close up of the flan on the table with birthday candles.]
Monica: We're Aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, by the way. You may not recognize us, because we haven't spoken to your parents in seventeen years!
Monica: (faking happiness) Well, I-I-I-I... I don't know...
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
MONICA: Really?� But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant.� If you go to the game, we won't have a night together for another week.
Monica: They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Monica: Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest)
Monica: All right, umm, were not gonna really keep it this way though.
MONICA: Nothin', nothin', hey you're a cheapasaurus. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, thank you, I'm very greatful.
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ryan is walks up to the door and knocks.]
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Im not laughing.
Monica: I don't know! Why don't you just explain? What do they want? Find out what they want!
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, Chandler is looking at the babies as Monica walks up.]
CHANDLER: I'm sorry.� I, I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica and I, I didn't know . . .� I didn't think you'd understand.
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica and Chandler are returning and Monica finds her basket is empty.]
Monica: Im checking out the restaurant with Pete.
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Monica: I wish we at least knew his name... Look at that face. I mean, even sleeping, he looks smart. I bet he's a lawyer.
Chandler: (intrigued) Yeah? (Monica nods yes.) I hope youre not thinking about cleaning the living room.
Phoebe: Okay, dont sweat it. (Looking around her.) Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guys cute. (Points to a guy sitting behind Monica.)
[Scene: The beach house, Joey and Chandler are sitting at the dinner table, Monica is looking in the fridge.]
Rachel: Joey! Why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job?
Monica: (to Mike) This doesn't concern you!!
[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebes room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]
Monica: Look, I am not high maintenance. I am not. Chandler!
MONICA: Thanks. So, I guess I better be going.
Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)
Monica: Listen uh, I-Ive been doing some thinking, and I dont know whether its because were here or Rachels giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby.
Ross: I grew up with Monica! If you didnt eat fast you didnt eat!!
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Monica: Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies?
Monica: Well I-I talked to and uh, shes definitely going to have this baby. Yknow, she said she was gonna raise it on her own.
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Continued from earlier, Rachel is now telling everyone of her experience in the garbage room.]
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Monica: I mean this has been like my dream since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monicas Bakery. I mean I would kill for this job. I mean I can totally do this job, and God knows I paid my dues. (She removes her fake breasts) But Petes just doing this because he has a crush on me.
Monica: You broke a little girls leg?!!
Monica: Look, I know that you're in a place right now where you really need to hate Julie's guts, but she didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she was just a girl who met a guy, and now they go out. I really think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her. Would you just give that a chance, for me?
Rachel: Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on Walker: Texas Ranger?
Monica: Did you like learn about her family?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are talking. Joey and Phoebe are getting coffee.]
MONICA: Upstairs in the bathroom right before you felt up mom.
Monica: Oh y'know what? If you're gonna be acting like this all night, I really, I don't even want to be around you.
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
[Cut to Monica and Phoebe searching the basement.]
Monica: No, its not a sign! Its a very old key!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]
Monica: (to Joey) I'll pick you up at eleven. So glad you're coming.
Monica: Limited seating my ass. Lets see who made the cut. (To the couple sitting to her right.) Hi!
Monica: If Phoebe were my maid of honor
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Monica: How did it go with Frank and Alice?
Monica: Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel...
Monica: Thank you! (He tries the door again and Monica glares at him.)
Richard: Oh, Im sorry. (Introduces them.) Lisa, (nodding at each) Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Monica: in this day and age how dumb do you have to be to get pregnant?
Ross: Why?! Why on the lips?! (He wipes his mouth on Monicas wrap and walks off, leaving Aunt Millie stunned.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is at the sink and Chandler is looking at a ring brochure.]
[Scene: Dots Spot, Chip and Monica are on there date, eating dinner. Chip is telling a story.]
Monica: How can you not remember? You made us call you...Bea.
Monica: Honey, cover it up with the boat!
Monica: (entering) (Gasps) How did you get in there?!
Monica: Here, let me show you. Okay, the towels are hanging next to the sink, and umm, you can use the fancy soap.
Monica: Oh my God! How cute is the on-call doctor?
Rachel: Wait a minute! (To Monica) You let Ross drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say youre the only one whos allowed to drive it.
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to apply her eye drops while Monica looks on.]
Monica: (looking out of the window) Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope!
Monica: Do NOT let me sit in one of those. We'll be here for days.
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Monica: See? This is exactly why Im making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors.
Monica: Am I on fire today or what?! Those birds are browned, basted, and ready to be carved!
Rachel: (whispering) Why? (Monica gesticulates mumbling something that starts with "because") Seriously I did not understand a word that you said.
(Ross, Rachel and Joey come back from the bathroom. They discover that Monica and Ethan aren't finished talking to each other yet.)
Chandler: Because it says "Captain Ross" on the side and "I hate Monica" on the bottom.
Monica: You heard him! "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!" Oh my god he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach. You know what? I'm going to have to talk to Chandler.
Monica: Wow, Monica! What an amazing opportunity to influence dozens of people.
Monica: Listen, Im sure that dad doesnt care. He probably thought this was funny; hell be telling this story for years!
Monica: Oh my God, you cant even see where the Titanic hit it.
Joey: Good luck. (to Monica) And Im still right!
Monica: Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! (Tries to leave, but is stopped by Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe enters to see Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel tearfully watching TV.]
(pause before Monica and Chandler speak, they look like they are looking for the right words)
Monica: Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will!
Monica: Howd the lecture go?
Monica: Okay. Okay, Im ready. Come on big fella!
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Ooh, Im setting the phone down. (does so) But Im still here! Just dont go anywhere Im still here. (starts to put on the sweater) Dont-dont switch or anything, cause Im, Im right here. (She has pulled the sweater over her head, but her head is stuck in a sleeve.) Just one sec. One sec! One second!! (She is now frantically trying to get the sweater on, as Monica returns from the bathroom.) Wait! One second! Just
Monica: (starting to cry) Im a good person. And Im a good chef, and I dont deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Yknow what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is
Monica: Okay, come on, I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
(Monica breaks the hug and starts for the bedroom.)
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Monica: Hey Joey, Chandler sold a story to Archie Comics!
Chandler: Little?! You freaked out big time! Okay? And I fixed it! We have switched places! I am the relationship and king and you are the crazy, irrational screw up! (Does a dance of joy.) (Monica glares at him.) And now we're back.