words in movies
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, uh can you do me a favor? I forgot the pin number to my ATM card can, can you get it for me?
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Joey: Uhh, my stunt double. Yeah, and y'know, he's getting a little too familiar for my tastes.
Chandler: Forgive me? You haven't been taking my calls in a week!
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
Monica: Noo! My ex-boyfriend Richard! Y'know the tall guy, moustache?
Phoebe: Awww! Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler.
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
Chandler: Oh my God.
Chandler: Love your condoms my man.
Rachel: (taking off her sweater) Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love.
Ross: Uh-huh. But it was a first for the rest of my building.
Chandler: (interrupting in the nick of time) Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary.
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
Joey: Wait a minute! Why don't I do what that guy did? I'll take this $100 and turn it into $5,000! And then I'll turn that into enough money to get my movie going again!
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
Rachel: Yes, I'm sorry. Do you have any extra pants? Umm, my friend seems to have had a little accident.
Joey: Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin!
Joey: My identical hand twin!
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
Joey: I found my identical hand twin!
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
Ross: Hey, you wet my pants!
Ross: My nana used to do it. That's how she paid for all my dancekarate lessons.
Ross: Oh my God! Rach-Rach, are-are-are you sure?
Joey: No, don't be sorry. I don't need it anymore. I found my identical hand twin!
Joey: My identical hand twin! The person whose hands are exactly like mine! This thing is a gold mine!
Joey: Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Joey: (stopping him) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! (Singing, to the tune of This Land is Your Land) This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Rachel: Oh my God, I'm starting to look like my great aunt, Muriel.
Chandler: Yes! I've-I've never seen a roll like this in my life!
(Cue up the music as they move in and kiss. This time I think it's Perry Como, but I'm not sure. It's Everybody loves somebody, sometime! Everybody falls in love somehow! Something in your kiss, just told me, my sometime, is now!)
Joey: Look-look-look you guys, I need some help! Okay? Someone is going to have to convince my hand twin to cooperate!
The Lurker: I won! That was my quarter!
The Lurker: (to the guard) Excuse me, sir! This lady played my quarter, this is my money. (Motions to the jackpot.)
The Lurker: It was my quarter!
Chandler: Ohh, great, I have condom in my wallet I've had since I was twelve.
Phoebe: (entering and sitting down at the table.) Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? (Looks down) Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you!
Monica: Hey guys check it out! My mom sent me the paper!
Monica: If Phoebe were my maid of honor
Rachel: I mean it's my fault.
Monica: Oh my God yes! Who is she?
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
Chandler: Do you have my credit card?
Rachel: Mindy?! My maid of honour, Mindy?!
Ross: My dad wanted to know if you wanted to play racquetball with us.
Rachel: Oh my God!! Do it!! Honey, youve waited long enough!!
Chandler: You-you-you didnt know that. (Pause as she nods no.) Well, I guess my work here is done!
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
Monica: Its not like, I havent any opportunities. I mean, yknow, Im just waiting for the perfect guy. Im seeing this guy Roger, all right? Hes not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Yknow, give him my flower.
Rachel: Whats that song? It has been in my head all day long.
Phoebe: (gasps) My God! What did you order?!
RACHEL: Oh please. That Paolo thing was barely a relationship. All it really was was just, ya know, meaningless animal sex. Ok, ya know, that sounded soooo much better in my head.
Ross: All right! I want my key back!
Ross: Well, oh, Im sorry your car broke down Pheebs, but Im a little too busy with some of my real friends right now, but please call to let me know you got home safely okay?
Chandler: Aww, we were worried about you! Hm. I guess I better get used to things crapping in my hand, huh?
Rachel: I know! My God! Do you have your speech?
Phoebe: (to the girls) Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldnt you date him?
Monica: Okay, look at this one. This is my favourite. (Its a little pink and white dress for the girl baby.)
Joey: Uh, theyre like my best friends. Are you saying we cant hang out with them? Cause that would kinda be a problem.
Ross: Phoebe, oh my God! Wh-wh-what are you doing here?
Ross: You've really crossed the line here, but that's okay, it's ok 'cause I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software and a stack of gay porn. That's right! Your coming out is about to get real graphic.
Joey: (entering the hall) Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?! I wanna sit in my chair!
Ross: Yes! Youre the person who checked out my book?!
Joey: It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level.
Mr. Treeger:: Ahh, forget it! Ill never be any good at this, my mom was right, Im just a big potato with arms, and legs, and a head.
Monica: Oh no sweetie, no! This is my fault, I wasnt clear! Im really sorry. And listen, you take as much time as you need to move out okay? Theres absolutely no rush.
Chandler: Its my joke.
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, Pottery Barn has ripped off the design of our antique!
Joey: Maybe, my rulers wrong.
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Monica: That's my pie!
MR. BOYLE: All right, kids. Here's the deal. According to my client's will, he wants to leave all his earthly possessions to "the noisy girls in the apartment above mine".
Phoebe: Oh my god! Where are you? (Looks around.)
Monica: Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch!
Ross: Okay, are you mad at me because my hair gel smells?
Ross: (to Phoebe) It hurts my teeth.
Ross: I know what you mean, Ive always wondered how different my life would be if-if Id never gotten divorced.
Phoebe: All right, it seems pretty simple. Your first line is "My name is Claude", so, just repeat after me. "Je m'appelle Claude".
STEVE: Oh, yeah, my firm represents the band.
Elizabeth: Ohh, I wouldnt do it in there. Thats my dads bedroom.
Ross: Oh my God! (Looking around, which doesn't take him long.)
Phoebe: It's, I mean, it's nothing, I'm fine. It's my friends. They-they have a liking problem with you. In that, um, they don't.
Phoebe: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Chandler: Clunkers?! Oh my god!
Ross: Ooh, well. Ah, I kinda have got a lot on my plate right now, not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man. (Mr. Oberblau giggles)
CHANDLER: Oh well it's not me, it's my character, Chandy. Yeah the rogue processor who seduces his co-worker's wives for sport and then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler. In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer.
Dana: Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie?
Joshua: Yeah, well, it wouldve been, but uh, my parents just moved here.
Joey: Oh my God, that's great! I'm smart!! No, no, I'm... (he uses the Thesaurus) "brainy, bright, clever", I love this thing! Look out ladies, Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!!
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Tag: My what?
Tag: Id better get back to my desk.
Phoebe: And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time, my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time.
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God Ross!!
Ross: Y'know what I didnt wear this suit for a year because you hated it. Well, guess what? Youre not my girlfriend anymore so...
Tag: No, not my touchie.
Rachel: Oh my God! Joey!
Rachel: It was ... (can't remember) oh my god. He didn't have a last name. It was just "Tag". You know, like Cher, or, you know, Moses.
Rachel: Oh my God, look-look hes taking off her clothes!
Lauren: I used to umm, schedule my classes so I could watch Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives.
Phoebe: Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. (He hands it to her and Phoebe poses in front of one of those small mirrors.) Somethings missing. Its not Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out.
Tag: (pause) Yes. I have a weird sense of humor, and Im kinda strangely proud of my butt.
Rachel: (freaking out) Oh my god!!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, it's my mom's.
Phoebe: (opening the door) I had nothing to do with it. (Closes the door.) (Opens the door.) Okay, it was my idea, but I dont feel good about it.
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
CHANDLER: Yes, how 'bout a verse of Killing Me Softly. You're gonna sneeze on my fish, aren't you?
Melanie: Anyway, that's when me and my friends started this whole fruit basket business. We call ourselves 'The Three Basketeers.'
Rachel: Yeah! You-you got the job! Youre my new assistant!
JADE: Oh, you know, the usual, teaching aerobics, partying way too much. Oh, and in case you were wondering, those are my legs on the new James Bond poster.
Ross: No, these are my pants.
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
Monica: Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, (turns sideways on the couch) so that you can bunny bump against my back.
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
Rachel: (yelling from another room) Oh my God!
Paul: Im just me, my wife died shortly after Lizzie was born.
PHOEBE: Now do me, do my back. Oh come on, harder.
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Paul: Thats exactly what my dad used to say! (Starts to breakdown again.)
Mr. Treeger:: Okay ahh, well, just ahh, follow my lead. (Turns on some music)
Monica: Hey, umm, so listen umm, my friends were telling me a little about this ah, ultimate fighting thing and it, well it sounds really dangerous. I-I dont want you to get hurt, cause I kinda like you.
Monica: Oh my God, shes not gonna like the chicken that night either is she?!
Rachel: Uh-huh, yeah I did, because I wore out my first copy when I was with you. (Exits.)
Rachel: Oh well then, so Im just going to go back to talking to my friend here. And you can go back to enjoying your little hamburger.
Ross: Could ya just, could ya just lay off, please? All right? My life is an embarrassment! I should go live under somebodys stairs!
Ross: Of course you would, your brains are smaller than mine!! (Rachel nods) Man, I can't compete with the guys she goes out with, they are so out of my league! oh my God!
Rachel: Oh, okay. Hey, can I ask you a question? Was it me, or-or was the guy who took my blood sample really cute? Yknow who Im talking about, bald haircut, hairy fingers (Stops when she realizes it was her.)
Phoebe: (gasps) (whispering) Oh my God! Thats David!
David: (noticing Phoebe) Oh my God!
Phoebe: David the scientist guy, David that I was in love with, David who went to Russia and broke my heart David!
Phoebe: Écoutez, je vais vous dire la vérité. C'est mon petit frère. Il est un peu retardé. (Translation: Listen, I will tell you the truth. He's my little bother. He's a bit retarded.)
Monica: Well, yknow its none of my business, but arent you married?
Monica: Yeah and if I had seven, maybe I wouldve said something like this, "Wow! My boyfriends such a wise assseven!"
Joshua: Yeah, its-its my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I wouldve told you about it, but I didnt know they would be here.
Robin: Why is this happening to me?! I dont know, maybe its my wound.
Monica: Oh wait I forgot my wrap.