words in movies
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, uh can you do me a favor? I forgot the pin number to my ATM card can, can you get it for me?
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Joey: Uhh, my stunt double. Yeah, and y'know, he's getting a little too familiar for my tastes.
Chandler: Forgive me? You haven't been taking my calls in a week!
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
Monica: Noo! My ex-boyfriend Richard! Y'know the tall guy, moustache?
Phoebe: Awww! Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler.
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
Chandler: Oh my God.
Chandler: Love your condoms my man.
Rachel: (taking off her sweater) Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love.
Ross: Uh-huh. But it was a first for the rest of my building.
Chandler: (interrupting in the nick of time) Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary.
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
Joey: Wait a minute! Why don't I do what that guy did? I'll take this $100 and turn it into $5,000! And then I'll turn that into enough money to get my movie going again!
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
Rachel: Yes, I'm sorry. Do you have any extra pants? Umm, my friend seems to have had a little accident.
Joey: Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin!
Joey: My identical hand twin!
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
Joey: I found my identical hand twin!
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
Ross: Hey, you wet my pants!
Ross: My nana used to do it. That's how she paid for all my dancekarate lessons.
Ross: Oh my God! Rach-Rach, are-are-are you sure?
Joey: No, don't be sorry. I don't need it anymore. I found my identical hand twin!
Joey: My identical hand twin! The person whose hands are exactly like mine! This thing is a gold mine!
Joey: Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Joey: (stopping him) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! (Singing, to the tune of This Land is Your Land) This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Rachel: Oh my God, I'm starting to look like my great aunt, Muriel.
Chandler: Yes! I've-I've never seen a roll like this in my life!
(Cue up the music as they move in and kiss. This time I think it's Perry Como, but I'm not sure. It's Everybody loves somebody, sometime! Everybody falls in love somehow! Something in your kiss, just told me, my sometime, is now!)
Joey: Look-look-look you guys, I need some help! Okay? Someone is going to have to convince my hand twin to cooperate!
The Lurker: I won! That was my quarter!
The Lurker: (to the guard) Excuse me, sir! This lady played my quarter, this is my money. (Motions to the jackpot.)
The Lurker: It was my quarter!
Chandler: Ohh, great, I have condom in my wallet I've had since I was twelve.
Phoebe: (entering and sitting down at the table.) Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? (Looks down) Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you!
Mary Ellen: I'll stay if you can tell me my name.
Rachel: Well, yknow this whole marriage thing, kinda my idea.
DUNCAN: Well I guess on some level I always knew I was straight. I though I was supposed to be something else, you know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay, I was just tryin' to fit in.
Joey: Who cares?! You went behind my back! I would never do that to you!
Phoebe: Oh my God! How bad was it?
Elizabeth: Oh, because I was thinking, the semesters over; youre not my teacher anymore.
Monica: All right, Im gonna go steam my wedding dress okay? Who wants the responsibility of making sure nothing happens to it?
Monica: Oh no! My parents have never seen me drunk! (Pause) That they know of.
Rachel: Oh, well thank you for taking your tongue out of my sisters mouth long enough to tell me that.
EDDIE: Oh, this is, this is unbelievable. I mean, first you sleep with my ex-girlfriend then you insult my inteligenct by lying about it and then you kill my fish, my Buddy?
Phoebe: Oh!! Thats my new thing. I figure bodies at peace, make peace.
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Phoebe: Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room.
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, are you still on hold? I was supposed to call my Dad back like two hours ago.
Fat Joey: Whats my little chef got for me tonight?
Phoebe: Yknow what Joey left on my pillow?
Rachel: EHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My God!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!! (She runs over to him and finds that it was a dummy and that she had been had.)
Monica: (panicked) Oh wait! You didnt just sit on my Kit-Kats did you?!!
Phoebe: Okay! Ooh-ahh, I'm gonna go pack. I'm gonna go pack my ass off!
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Walks to the window) Go away! (Gesturing.) Stop looking in here!
MONICA: Yes but my mom got me this job.
Tall Guy: Hey, pal, you have about three seconds to get away from my partner.
Monica: Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. I mean, (starting to cry) you're my...We're, we're...Oh, I love you.
Jasmine: But you should probably talk to my roommate, because I told him and he knows Phoebe too.
Ross: (recognizing her) Oh my God! Rachel Green?
MR. GREENE: I have to be heading to my chateau, thank you.
Phoebe: My guy is well read.
Monica: Oh my God! (She goes to hug him, stops short, and hits him on the shoulder.) Where the hell have you been?!!
Joey: No! No! No! For my new fridgeour new fridge!
Phoebe: Yeah I know, it was my candle. My candle!
Joey: Im not talking to you! You broke my fridge!
Phoebe: Yeah! What have you got to lose? Yknow you might even end up with someone really special (whispers) if you pick my guy.
Ross: I went to Egypt with my dad.
Rachel: Oh my God! Why is he jumping on those women!
Ross: Okay, I did not abandon Rachel! Okay? Emily showed up at the airport! I had to go after her! I mean, I-I did what I had to do! She's my wife! Rachel is my wife! Y'knowEmily! Emily, is my wife! Man, what is that?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Joey: Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent.
Phoebe: I'm trying, but man that guy can push my buttons!
Phoebe: (she stops reading from the script) Oh my God.
Joey: Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. Hes a patient of mine, Ive been treating him for years!
Bonnie: I think I brought back half of the beach in my hair. It was so much easier when I used to shave my head.
DUNCAN: No, but it'll be OK, they're pretty cool, my brother's straight so. . .
Ross: I-I-I dont even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Yknow what? Im just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks.
Chandler: Oh my God!
Monica: I know!! (calls him) (on phone) Chip? Hi! Its Monica. (listens) Kay. (listens) Kay. (listens) Okay. (listens) Okay, good-bye. (hangs up) Oh my God, we just had the best conversation!! (goes into her room as Rachel enters)
Mr. Tribbiani: Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I don't know this one.
Phoebe: Aw. (Phoebe gets a bad taste in her mouth when he looks away) Im justIm in a place in my life right now where I I
Ross: Oh my God!
JOEY: Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin.
Ross: You ate my sandwich?
Ross: MY SANDWICH!!!!!! (Ross's scream scares a flight of pigeons away.)
Monica: Were supposed to meet my parents in 15 minutes.
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
Ross: You-you-you-you (trying to remain in control) threw my sandwich away!
Joey: Yeah. Ill let you play with my duck.
Janice: Oh.... my.... God.
Ross: Sometimes, you should come over (Joey returns from the bathroom) sometime! Ill play you one of my other
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: Out of my league. I could get a Brian. (Brian enters behind him) If I wanted to get a Brian, I could get a Brian. (Sees him) Hey, Brian.
Monica: Wh?! What about my allergies?!
Ross: (losing control, we hear him shout outside) MY SANDWICH?!!!
Ross: Oh my God. I mean
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon. It's my fault, I almost lost your...
Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! (Ross and Chandler look off into the distance. Joey, wondering what they are looking at, looks in the same direction)
Chandler: I'm telling ya! It's gonna happen. Next year it's gonna be you, me and the little Hemingway Bing. (pause) What, he's my favourite author!
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Chandler: Can I finish my story?!
Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.
Monica: Because I put my head between her legs.
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Joey: (grunting) Oh my How much do you weigh Ross?!
Rachel: WhYou dated my sister!
Rachel: I did, Monica was so sweet she left a little mint on my pillow.
Monica: Ohhh! (Takes the plate.) No! This is my friend Rachel, we went to High School together.
Ross: (exhales) I got it. (He lifts the box and grunts under the strain.) (Calmly) So hi, Im uh, Im Ross and this is my friend Chandler. (He shyly waves.)
Chandler: Oh my good God.
Rachel: (on phone) What is my sister doing there?! And why are the drapes shut?!
Chandler: Ill give up my ticket.
Aurora: (moves Chandler's arm and look at his watch.) Oh my God, I'm late. (She starts to get up.)
PHOEBE: Yeah. Oh, except one of the strings on my guitar is broken. Hey, Chandler, can I borrow your G-string?
Phoebe: Oh my God, look! Thats Elizabeth!
RACHEL: Well then uh, we better make this night count. [He starts to carry her out.] Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. [He carries her over to turn it off.] Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. [He carries her to the counter to pick up her purse.] Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.
Ross: Why... I... I don't know. (Sandy tilts his head again) Uhm... errrr... maybe... maybe because of my father?
Joey: (entering) Hey! So, did you watch the tape of my show?
Ross: Oh my God! I love this apartment! Isn't it perfect?! I can't believe I never realized how great it is!
Rachel: Oh my God! You look so beautiful!
Chandler: It means that my guys won't get off their barcaloungers and you have a uterus that is prepared to kill the ones that do. (pause) It means...
Monica: Oh sure, now you�re Mister Sensitivity. But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncle�s funeral
The Dry Cleaner: He went out with my wife!
Kathy: I forgot my purse.
PHOEBE: Yeah ok, well at least I didn't let some guy into the forest of my righteous truth on the first date.
Monica: Oh my God! He just said my name! Did you hear that?
The Dry Cleaner: You, get out of my shop!
Rachel: Oh my God! It sure didnt look this way when I lived here.
Ross: (losing control, we hear him shout outside) MY SANDWICH?!!!
MONICA: He hates me. My nephew hates me.
Joey: Uhh, do you mind sitting there. Im-Im saving this for my friend Ross.
Ross: Oh no-no, after you. (She grabs a chair and heads upstairs.) (When shes gone.) Oh my God! (He drops the box and Chandler cant pick it up.)
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God!!
Monica: Ok, I'll tell you what. How about I cook dinner at my place? I'll make it just like Mom's.