words in movies
Ross: Id bet Id still be doing my kara-tay. (Thats karate, hes just saying it that way.) Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from yknow, not doing anything else physical.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Monica: Hes not boring! Hes just-hes just low key.
Monica's Boyfriend: Yeah. Yknow, the hazelnut actually not a nut, its a seed.
Joey: (not impressed) Wow!!
Chandler: Oh I just got another rejection letter. They said my writing was funny, just not "Archie Comic funny."
Rachel: Ohh, so do you! Did you lose weight? (Shes not quite sure of that one.)
Chandler: Well its kinda hard to be friends with Drake because of his busy schedule and the fact that hes not real.
Rachel: (still not quite able to look at him) Hi! I love you on that show! I watch you everyday! I mean, when you took out your own kidney to save your ex-wife even though she tired to kill you
Joey: (turning and whispering to Monica) Shes not crazy is she?
Ross: Come on Pheebs, its not that bad! Yknow most people would be excited if they didnt have to work for a couple of weeks.
Phoebe: Most people dont like their jobs, I love my job! I have not been working for three hours and Im already going crazy. I miss Joan.
Chandler: I always thought having a heart attack was natures way of telling you to die! (Phoebe glares at him.) But youre not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but youre not gonna die today. I wish I was dead.
Phoebe: Oh thats not so bad.
Rachel: (awestruck, then not) Isnt that a line from the show?!
Joey: (To Rachel) Did I not just tell him?
Chandler: Its not all juice! (Rachel quickly gets out of the way.)
Ross: Carol our sex life isits just not working
Monica: Its not mayonnaise!!
Rachel: Yeah. Oh I just wish we could not be married for a little bit! Yknow I just wish we could be like on a break!
Monica: Well, youre not.
Rachel: Oh, its so easy for you I mean, youre not married, you get to have sex with who ever you want!
Monica: Its not like, I havent any opportunities. I mean, yknow, Im just waiting for the perfect guy. Im seeing this guy Roger, all right? Hes not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Yknow, give him my flower.
Rachel: Yes!! I mean sex does not have to be a big deal! There shouldnt be all this rules and restrictions! Yknow, people should be able to sleep with who ever they want, whenever
Phoebe: No! Its not a cigarette! The smoke is coming out of me!
Dr. Drake Remoray: Not so fast Wesley! (Rachel does a silent clap.)
Dr. Drake Remoray: Thats right Wesley! I just stopped by to say that, youre not a real doctor! And that womans brain, is fine!
Dr. Drake Remoray: Youre not dying Hope, youre gonna live a long, healthy life. With me.
Chandler: Listen Phoebe, hes right. People are not supposed to have heart attacks at 31.
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Monica: Stop it!! Thats not funny!!
Chandler: With Roger? (Monica shyly looks away.) Not just with Roger?! (Monica shrugs.) Oh my God!
Monica: No. Hes not a horrible guy.
Chandler: No you are not! You are sweet and wonderful and this is gonna happen for you.
Joey: No! No! No, not after seeing that.
Joey: Thats ridiculous! Im not a "Star," just a regular famous actor.
Joey: Look, do you want the ring or not?!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Youre not gonna use the pay phone to call work, are ya?
Joey: (not quite sure of how to answer that) Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carols great and Im sure youre a very attractive man, but I .
Joey: Not the other one?
Rachel: Well, if you see him, will you please tell him that Im looking for him and that this I am not gonna throw up!
Rachel: Me? Im great! Im fine! Im sooo good!! But, you know whos not great?! Men! Youre a man right Ross?!
Ross: Look I-I dont know whats going on with you and your husband and what is hopefully an adult dog walker, look can I just say not all men are like that.
Ross: She is not (Realizes) Shes gay. Oh my God. She is so gay! I cant believe this.
Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they dont just happen. Yknow? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning yknow I was just lying there and I couldnt wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always yknow with a friend.
Chandler: I know you probably dont want to go out with me, yknow because I make too many jokes and Ive never been in a serious relationship and I guess Im not technically a "doctor "
Ross: Obviously not to Joey.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, yknow if-if there was just like one little area where Ithat I think we needwe would need to work on; I-I would think it was were just not crazy enough!
Chandler: Oh no..don't thank me. Thank you. You know there's not one thing I would change about you? Not one single thing! And definitely not... two... single things.
Chandler: We are supposed to make these decisions together! Did you not watch the Doctor Phil I taped for you?
Phoebe: No youre not, youre wondering which cushion it is.
RICHARD: I am not telling you guys anything.
Mr. Douglas: Not you. Relax. Ever have to fire anyone?
Phoebe: Yes. Not out loud.
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?
Monica: Alright, lets say that it is him, would we not want the baby? No! Would we treat him any differently?
Monica: Im not gonna go out with him.
Frank: Its so cool man, its so, its just cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.
Joey: No! Everything's gettin' all messed up, y'know? Emily won't let Ross see Rachel, we're not gonna stop seeing Rachel, hence Ross stops seeing us!
Ross: Would you all relax? It's not that big a deal.
MR. GELLER: [going downstairs] Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining. . . oh no. [Chip has shown up and the four are leaving]
Monica: Honey, umm I-I love you, (laughs) but umm, if you call our wedding a party one more time, you may not get invited. Okay? (Laughs) Listen, we could always earn more money, okay? But uh, were only gonna get married once.
Pete: Why not?
Pete: Youre, hey, youre not paying for the pizza!
Phoebe: Yeah, but not just that.
Phoebe: Why, do I have a feeling thats not as happy as it sounds? (Joey points out one going into the chipper to her, as this haunty, demonic music starts to play in the background) No! Nooooo!!! (she winces in horror and hides her face against Joeys shoulder, as she sees the tree spit out from the chipper.)
PHOEBE: I'm not gonna. But you know what's cool though? Ok, if you had a friend named Pete, then I could say, 'Oh yeah, I know Pete, he's friends with my brother.'
Monica: Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
RACHEL: (after a pause with everyone staring at her, she goes up to the microphone) Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings (da-doom-chesh). See now, tonight, all I really wanted was to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well (laughing), I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except....(starts singing) "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers (band joins in), feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would..."
Monica: Im getting married!!!! Im gonna be a bride!!!! (Someone else yells at her.) No, I will not shut up because Im engaged! (He yells again.) Ohh, big talk! Huh, why dont you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! (Chandler starts to look worried.) Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20!
ROSS: [to Russ] For your information, it's a card sharp, not a card shark.
Rachel: What do you think Monica mean when she said she didnt want to talk, especially with me? I mean, why not especially you and me? We were both out there kissing.
Phoebe: Not if nothing happens. Why can't... why can't we just hang out as friends?
Kate: Nooo. And theres really no reason he should find out, so ah lets not make a big deal about it, okay?
Chandler: Thats not a state Joe.
Chandler: Ahhhh, youre not Mary-Angela.
Leslie: What? Why not? You could make a ton of money.
Chandler: You gave them one day's notice, not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday and Monica... it's probably the way you stand!
Tag: But Im not gay. And I especially wouldnt want you to think I was gay.
Monica: Its not?
Monica: Is that why he's acting so weird...? He's jealous...? Oh my God, that is crazy. It's not like I'm attracted to Geoffrey...
Rachel: Yes. (Pause) Youre not asking are you?
Rachel: (taking off her sweater) Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, Im going to be out there spreading joy to the people. I mean, last year, I spread a little joy but not really enough. So this year, Im going to do the whole city.
Julio: The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would think this.
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Monica: Not one that can pee on the roof.
Monica: I do! Im a professional chef! (The class gasps.) Oh relax! Its not a courtroom drama!
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
MONICA: Now I love you. And not just 'cause I have to.
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not goof around with him.
MONICA: No no, the father can, but um, since I am the roommate I can tell you that she's not here and I'll pass along the message, ok. So bye-bye.
Monica: I feel really sad that we're not really there anymore.
Joey: Look its not that bad. So what, it blocks a little of your door, a little of my door.
JOEY: Are you really not going?
Monica: Boy, you are really not a morning person.
Chandler: AhhhhIm not going to call you.
Monica: What is the matter with you?!! Why arent you more upset?! Arent you gonna be sad that were not gonna be living together anymore?! I mean arent you gonna miss me at all?!
Joey: Whats not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Goooooood.
Chandler: If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?
Chandler: Why not, just because his great-grandmother was obese, our kids are gonna get that from you anyway!
Phoebe: Well not exactly like the one in the poem.
Phoebe: You'd better get back in that kitchen Monica, the garlic is not gonna overuse itself.
Rachel: Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. (Excited) Ha-ha! Im gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. (Looks at Joey.) Seriously, proud of you.
Ross: (laughs) Muriel. Wh-why would he call you Muriel? (Ross realizes something.) Oh my God! Chandler M Bing? Its not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!!
Phoebe: Well, this doesnt have to be so sad though. Yknow? Maybe instead of just thinking about how much youre gonna miss each other, you should like think of the things youre not gonna miss.
Rachel: Hi! You guys, the car-service just got here. I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby!
Joey: Thats not what I said. Okay, I just meant...
Monica: That is sooo not true!
Ross: No youre not.
Joey: They uh director. Uhh, her. (Points to an old woman standing behind him. Who glares at him and walks off.) All right, all right, it's not a gladiator movie. I work here.
CHANDLER: What, you never look down in the shower? Oh please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?
Ross: Uh, I'm not really a shot drinking kinda guy.
Ross: (He does so, and finds a half-eaten box of cookies.) Youre good. (Tries a cookie.) These are not.
Monica: Of course not.
Monica: (entering from her room) Okay. I gotta call Michelle. I gotta see if that was her voice or not. I'm sorry, I just have to.
Ross: No, no, no. Technically the... sex is not... being had, but that's... see, that's not the point. See, um, the point is that... Rachel and I should be, er, together. You know, and if you get in the.... um...
Mr. Geller: (going downstairs) Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shiningOh no. (Chip has shown up and the four are leaving.)
Rachel: Were not actors.
Ross: Are you kidding? Look, were not gonna be together just because were having a baby. Okay?
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Joey: Im not talking to you! You broke my fridge!
(She goes back and forth, not sure what to do first, put the bagel down or grab the key. She finally puts the bagel down and grabs the key and goes over to unlock Joanna.)
MONICA: Why? It's not like I'm putting little nipples on them.
Joey: (on the tape) All right back off! I gotta gun! I'm not afraid to use it!
Ross: Uh well umm were just not in that place, yknow? But were very excited about this.
Joey: No-no, not for like another two weeks.
The Girls: No, not getting my bra!
Ross: No-no-no, Im saying we-we buy more of this (disposable cameras) at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody elses faces.
Monica: Thats better. 90 seconds is a long time not to think about it except all I did was think about it.
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
Joey: It's a rented tux. Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.
Monica: That does not mean you know us better, I-I want a rematch.
Chandler: And yet, shes still not hanging up the phone.
ROSS: Hello. Oh hi, are you on your way ove-. Oh. No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work. No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned. Yeah OK, OK. OK, OK, bye.
Ross: Oh sure, "Ross will do it!" Its not like he has a job, or a child, or a life of his own.
Monica: Okay. (not sure of herself)
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Rachel: And youre still not attracted to him at all?
Ross: Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this.
Monica: Youre not gonna believe this. Okay, so I go over...
Rachel: I mean y'know, I'm thinking. You could bring her, and you guys could go up to your old room, and not make out.
Billy: So its-its not heeled yet?
Phoebe: You're not? Then why did you ask us if we wanted to go?
Joey: (interrupting) Whoa-whoa! No-no-no-no-no, nothing is going up! Okay? Up, up is not an optionwhat's a urethra? (Monica whispers what it is in his ear.) Are you crazy?!