words in movies
Chandler: Well, its because I trust you, youre one of my best friends, and you walked in on me when I was looking at ring brochures.
(Joey returns with a piece of pizza as Chandler and Phoebe exit.)
Phoebe: Thats easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles that wont open.
Phoebe: No thats what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
(Phoebe turns to Rachel and mimes remove a lid of a jar. Ross enters and Paul motions for Rachel to leave with him now.)
Ross: I cant think of anything.
Ross: Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didnt invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago?
Rachel: Well, youre lucky you never met that bitch Sharon Majesky. Anyway, umm The rest of you life, yknow? Any regrets?
Paul: I wanted a big wheel. And instead my parents got me this little plastic chicken that you hop around on. It was embarrassing; kids made fun of me. That was a pretty tough year.
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
Phoebe: Huh? Can you just imagine getting down on one knee and handing her this gorgeous piece of weaponry?
Ross: Okay. Well, apparently Chandlers angry at us for not getting him a ticket to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago.
Joey: Oh, were supposed to just get him a ticket?! That guy is always mooching off of us!
Monica: Yknow, I only know of two surefire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is sex.
Phoebe: Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. (He hands it to her and Phoebe poses in front of one of those small mirrors.) Somethings missing. Its not Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out.
Phoebe: Oh my God!! (She runs after him, but sets of the security system, which locks the stores door and brings down a set of bars behind her, caging her in.) No! What?! Help me! Let me out! Now! (Points the musket at them.)
Paul: Joey! (Goes over and hugs Joey and picks him off of his feet.)
Paul: (barely glancing at her) No. What ever happened to that little dude. (Pause) So full of dreams
Rachel: I dont care about the little dude! I cant! I cannot listen to anymore of this! Yknow, the only person who would want to listen to this is a mental health professional! And then its only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I couldve made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know when I figured that out? While you were talking!
Rachel: Im so glad, Im so glad you shared. (Feeling his shoulder.) And Im glad that youre done. What do you say we umm (Nods in the direction of the bedroom.)
Chandler: Yeah, shes dying Of a cough apparently.
Chandler: Guys? (They ignore him.) Ive got something important to tell ya. (Still nothing so he walks over and stands in front of the TV.) Guys? (They lean over to try and watch the TV, Chandler mimics them.) Guys?! (Pause) Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Chandler: Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? (Ross and Joey look at each other and go back to watching the game on TV.) Guys? Guys? (Walks in front of them again.)
Pete: Well ah, the short version is, I ah pursued her for a couple of months, then I gave her a check for 20,000 dollars, and she was mine.
Rachel: Hi! Sorry- sorry we're late, we, uh, kinda just, y'know, lost track of time.
(The group does the same horrible dance that Joey did earlier in the show, except they're all out of sync and they do the jazz hands at the end.)
(Rachel goes up to the door of their bathroom)
Chandler: (Comes out of his room) What? What?
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
MONICA: I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, sauti, sauti, sauti. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
Joey: Excellent! Lets play Bamboozled! Chandler, youll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change.
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Chandler: It's "Ride of the Valkyries" from "Apocalypse Now"... See, here's the thing: The corn rose were really a solution to your frizzy hair problem. And now that we're home, we don't have that problem anymore, so if you think about it... I hate them!
Ross: (coming out of the bedroom) Oh! Oh my God! I didnt even see you!
Joey: I hate Pottery Barn too. They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed!
Joey: Ms. Monroe (She slaps him) Oh there you go. (She storms off, leaving Joey standing next to Dina. They share a nod at the ferocity of the slap they just received.)
Roy: You know, actually that's not a bad idea. I can do it out of my apartment. I don't think my mom would mind.
Rachel: (to Chandler) Well, there's a kiss that he won't forget for a couple of hours, y'know.
(They open a cupboard which, amongst other things, contains a chest of drawers)
Chandler: Were trying to get pregnant. (They start kissing, but Chandler stops it.) Yknow Im not really comfortable doing this in front of the babies. So, when do you want to start trying?
Joey: (angrily) Thursday! Look if you need help remembering think of like this, the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?!
(Over the sound of Phoebe singing we hear two scientists, Max and David, having a noisy discussion)
Doug: Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park!
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey. What a day. I took her everywhere. The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center, Statue of Liberty.
Joey: Wh? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when huh what? Thurs(He gasps in horror.) Oh! (Runs out and Chandler just shakes his head. After a second Joey runs back in to grab a piece of pizza and runs back out.)
Joey: (to a table of strangers) You guys need anything, cause Im heading up there.
Monica: I don't, I just, I just like the smell of them. So, uh, what are you really doing here Dad?
DR. BURKE: No no, it, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob. [demonstrates] 'I'm OK.' [tilts head] 'You sure?' [bobs head] 'Yeah, I'm fine.' Hey listen, I've got to set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change.
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
Chandler: He pulled a quarter out of my ear!
Monica: Well... of course I thought of you! But... but...
Chandler: (To Monica) Yeah, see, I can't pull of baby-doll can I?
Chandler: And the moment of joy is upon us.
Ross: Hey, you only heard Monica�s side of that. That little fatso was a terror.
Chandler: You can always spot someone who's never seen one of his plays before. Notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom...
MONICA: You're the most wonderful man. And if you hadn't of said 'if I have to' like seventeen times, then I'd be saying 'okay, let's do it.'
ROSS: Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
Monica: Ive been doing a lot of thinking. A lot! And umm, well, I came up with a whole bunch of businesses you can do with your van. Okay umm, you could be flower delivery person.
Phoebe: Fine! Okay, all right, so Jane Eyre, first of all, you'd think she's a woman, but she's not. She's a cyborg.
Phoebe: Um, that's ok! (throws it in fire) Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.
Mr. Waltham: In a moment, please, Im in the middle of a task. And you have a customer.
Chandler: A hot girls at stake and all of the sudden hes Rain Man.
(He does the ancient trick of going downstairs while behind the couch. As soon as he's out of sight, Emma starts crying.)
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes in her closet bringing down her pair of roller blades from a top shelf.]
Ross: Well we-we dont know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesnt know what to make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, thats uh, thats all for today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment?
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
Joey: Monicas chicken parm! Ill take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, its Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandlers apartment. Its an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.)
Paul: Neither of us like Ross!
Monica: Chandler, please, come on. Look at him. (Pointing to a picture of Ralph on a magazine,.)
Lecturer: Were beginning to see a lot of layering of sheer fabrics and colours. For instance a sheer navy blouse over a pink....
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering with a peace offering of a Joey Special, two pizzas.]
Phoebe: Oh, I know a way that you can decide! All right, I'm going to ask you a series of questions and you answer as quickly as you can.
Joey: It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're.. You're Ross and Rachel.
Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?
Ross: (to Isabella) Hi! Hi, Im Ross, you dont know me, but Im a big, big fan of yours. I mean, Blue Velvet, woo-oo hoo! Um, I was wondering if I could um, maybe buy you a cup of coffee? (Gunther hands her change) Or maybe reimburse you for that one?
Chandler: No. This is just part of a dare devil game that I play called wait until the last moment before I burst and die.
Phoebe: (following him) And did you notice the ice? (Gestures to 3 huge buckets of ice on the table.) Look! We have it all! We have crushed! Cubed! And dry! Watch! (Pours some water onto the dry ice, causing it to evaporate/smoke.) Ahhh! Mystical!
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?
Monica: Behind my brother's back? (Rachel glares at her) ... is exactly the kind of crazy thing you won't be hearing from me.
Ross: Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...
Joey: So what, like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again?" Of course!
Joey: Oh, it was great! I mean we walked all around the village. We went to this ice cream place, split a milkshake, 70/30 but still And guess what, Im thinking about taking her upstate to one of those bed and breakfasts.
Chandler: Monica, I was wondering if you can make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year.
Chandler: Y'know, I wouldve bet good money that hed be the first one of us to get married.
Phoebe: I have liver damage. Ow! Oh! (She grabs the left side of her torso.)
Monica: I think we are getting a little ahead of selves here. Okay. Okay. I am just going to get up, go to work and not think about him all day. Or else I'm just gonna get up and go to work.
Rachel: Of course, I'd be honored!
Rachel: Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely, I want some of that.
Rachel: (Tapping the clipboard) well, now, wait a second, who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person?
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
RACH: Closure, that's what it is. Closure. [she looks around the restaurant, spotting a guy with a cellular phone] Hello, excuse me. Excuse me, hel. . . woo [she almost falls out of her chair]
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom) Okay. Heres a question you never have to ask. My dad just called and wanted to know if he could borrow one of your pearl necklaces.
Chandler: No, see the thing is I want to get out of here before Joey gets all worked up and starts calling everybody bitch.
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door)
Joey: Well, the movie got shutdown because they ran out of money, so I'm working here 'til it starts up again, if it ever does.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Will has left and the rest of the gang is watching Joey finish the turkey.]
Chandler: Just so I know, how many more of those can I expect?
Bladder Control Problem Stop Wife Beating Hemorrhoids? Winner of 3 Tony Awards...
ROSS: I'm sorry, my pie was, was in your hood. Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7. [swats at an imaginary insect by his head, guy leaves promptly]
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section!
Rachel: HuhWait so Joey if you get this, youre gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean youll be like the Big Cheese! (To Phoebe) Or the Big MacHey! You love those!
Ross: (To the rest of Central Perk) We're rehearsing a Greek play.
Phoebe: Oh, well, dont tell me you want to keep more of your stuff in my uterus.
Chandler: Well, you know Phoebs. I don't know if it's your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day.
Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
Monica:: sweetie it's ok, I still love you, let me be a part of this.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is trying to get Janice out of his apartment.]
Joey: We have to find the rest of the platoon!
Ross: So you guys having any luck getting rid of the entertainment center?
Chandler: Look at this! (he opens the curtain to a view of New York City)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
Aurora: ...All of a sudden we realised we were in Yammon.
MONICA: I wanna buy 5 shares of SGJ and I wanna buy them now. C'mon time is money my friend. Thank you. Wooo.
(Rachel points out of the window.)
Ross: Look who I found standing outside of the Szechwan Dragon staring at a parking meter.
FRANK: Yeah, he loved stilts. One time I was upstairs, I was stealing cigarettes out of my mom's purse, and uh, all of a sudden I look over and there's my dad's head bobbing past the window. He just had this big smile on his face and he was waving 'cause he was always happiest when he was on his stilts.
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
(We see Ross through the window and he acts like a swimmer that gets attacked by a shark, picture one of the many, many, many Jaws movies they made and you get the idea.)
Phoebe: Yeah, from now on everyone you lurk, I'm gonna lurk first! You move on to someone else, I'm gonna be one step ahead of you, every single time! And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day 'til Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave?
(Monica comes back to the table with plates of food.)
Rachel: Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. (She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her, his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms)
Joey: All right, uh, weve got a little bit of a problem here. These people are my friends; you cant treat them that way.