words in movies
Rachel: It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, you know, which is actually why I took this job.
Joey: Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model.
Monica: Oh, wow, so you're gonna be one of those "healthy, healthy, healthy guys"?
Chandler: Yes, every single one of them.
Ross: Ok. (browsing the apartment) Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about bein' a lesbian.
Ross: Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this.
Monica: (hands Chandler a bag) Chandler, here you go, got your traditional Thanksgiving feast, you got your tomato soup, your grilled cheese fixin's, and your family size bag of Funyuns.
Chandler: We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced.
(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)
Monica: All right, that's it. You know what? Just get out of my way and stop moping.
(Phoebe takes a slice of pumpkin pie and waves it in front of Chandler's face.)
Joey: But my mom always makes them. It's like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease.
Monica: All right, fine. Tonight's potatoes will be both mashed with lumps, and in the form of tots.
Monica: Ok, three kinds of potatoes coming up.
Chandler: No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon. It's all over the news. Right before he reached Macy's, he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. I'm goin' to the roof, who's with me?
Chandler: Do either of you have the keys?
Joey: Wait, wait, we have a copy of your key.
(Joey leaves to get the copy of the key.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Joey has a tray full of keys, and is trying each one in the lock.]
Monica: Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I...
Monica: No, it doesn't, does it? But you wanted lumps, Ross? (picks up the pan of badly burnt potatoes) Well, here you go, buddy, ya got one.
Phoebe: Ugly Naked Guy's taking his turkey out of the oven. Oh my god. He's not alone. Ugly Naked Guy's having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal.
Chandler: I'd like to propose a toast. Little toast here, ding ding. I know this isn't the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Bladder Control Problem Stop Wife Beating Hemorrhoids? Winner of 3 Tony Awards...
The Second Guest: We went to college with both of them and now we live next door.
Ross: All right here. Watch me execute the three Ps of championship play. Power. (swings the racquet) Precision. (swings the racquet.) and penache. (does a backswing and hits Sarah whos started up the stairs, knocking her down, they both watch in horror.)
(The rest of the gang arrives with their heads down in shame.)
Joey: What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Joey: Ohh, you're upset because you think I chose Ross over you! No! I knew you could take care of yourself. Y'know, I mean Ross, he need help. He's not street like us!
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
Monica: Oh please! (To Chandler) Did you hear that? Little drops of heaven.
Joey: (browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different.
Rachel: Come on! I am here to take care of you! What do you need? Anything.
Phoebe: All right, betting and wagering of any kind, are, I'm sure, not permitted in the happy place. Okay. Just-just, you know, the-the lovely waterfalls, and the, the trickling fountains. And the-the calming sounds of the babbling brook....
Chandler: �Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Was a good friend of mine, never understood a single word he said, but I helped himdrink his wine.� So you just touch yourself for anything?
Ross: No, but Chandler, hello... Aren't you scared of dogs?
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Phoebe: Ok, ok, how many of you enjoyed the music outside? (a few people raise their hands) Ha!
(Rachel runs into the airport, trying to catch Ross, moving people out of the way.)
Mike: One more thing... There... might be a picture of Precious on my coffee table.
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
Phoebe: Yes! You know, in six months the Statute of Limitations runs out and I can travel internationally again!
MONICA: Hey, we could have used that kind of thinkin' earlier.
Gunther: Your muffins. (Sets down a huge plate of muffins in front of Joey.)
Chandler: Its a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I was saying.
ROSS: Look, I'm not being any of those things, ok, I'm just being realistic.
(Joey gets up and moves to the other end of his row to talk to the guy sitting there.)
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Mr. Geller: I tell you one thing, I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried tomato business. Five years ago, if somebody had said to me, here's a tomato that looks like a prune, I'd say "get out of my office!"
Rachel: No! Of course we can wait. Alright, so I guess that means good night then?
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Monica: Pretty much. (to Joey) So, what do you, what do you think of the floor?
[Scene: Atlantic City, New Jersey, Chandler and Monica are about to start their weekend of sex, sex, nothing but sex.]
Phoebe: Because this one is now! And-and its two of our best friends! Who knows what youre gonna marry!
Chandler: He was asking all these questions about you, me, and London. And, of course the glue that holds this all together, the rules.
Ross: Excuse me sir, you've got a little something right here. (He points to the corner of his mouth and they both laugh.)
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
Lydia: She's not much of a phone person.
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers!
Rachel: Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him... 'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder...
PHOEBE: Now OK, I haven't seen it yet so, if you don't like it, well, so what, none of you ever made a video. [puts the tape in] OK.
JANITOR: Ahh, the bat. Ambassador of darkness, flitting out of his cave like a winged messenger, sightless spectre of the macabe.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, they are just finishing up another game of foosball.]
[Scene: The Charity Event, theyre holding a silent auction, Rachel is looking at one of the items and Phoebe walks up and hands her a glass of wine.]
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Phoebe: Rachel Green? (angrily) Son of a bitch, she came back?
Joey: I never laughed so hardDid you see the wine come out of my nose?
Phoebe: Oh my God! Well the idea of a woman flirting with a-with a single man, we-we must alert the church elders!
Danny: Okay, listen, I really like you. Okay? I think this can go somewhere. So what if I'm close to my family, are you gonna let that stand in the way of us?
Rachel: (To the woman sitting in front of her) He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there?
[Time lapse, Monica has joined in and is calling to get out of work.]
Joey: Did you tell the guy you wanted to have sex with his wife and then fall right out of your chair?
Joey: Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember?
Joey: Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear!
Ross: Dude, it's just "Days of Our Lives"... there's no the.
Monica: Ok, I'm sensing that this is some kind of word play, because you are pink with barely controlled glee.
Phoebe: Oh! Here it is! (Noticing it next to the door.) Ooh, Joey! Why did you sign it, "Son of a bitch?" (Son of a bitch is written across the entire picture.)
Emily: I mean, I can't-I can't be in the same room as her! It drives me mad just thinking of you being in the same room as her!
Joey: (to Chandler) You son of a bitch!
Ross: Oh my God! What if, what if they get married? Then hed be the stepfather of my child.
Julie: Yeah, we are going to share every moment of this with you. And I think were gonna have some fun.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, Ive-Ive been dating both of you, and its been really horrible. Cause y'know its been a lot of fun, for me. Umm, but I-I like you both, and I, and I didnt know how to chose, so... Im sorry, Im just, Im terrible, Im a terrible person. Im terrible.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone except Ross is there watching Days of Our Lives.]
Ross: Watch. (he takes the laptop) Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change. Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.
ROSS: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) Come on out, honey! I'm telling you look good! (turns around, and under his breath, to the rest of the guys) Tell her she looks good, tell her she looks good.
Joey: Well, y'know those special skills I have listed on my resume? I would love it would be great if one of those was true.
Joey: Say hello to Reverend Joey Tribbiani! (Holds up the piece of paper bearing the proof of his ordination.)
Mr. Geller: of course you can kick his ass son.
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
(Another professor walks down from the back of the lecture hall.)
Rachel: I mean, do you think there are people who go through life never having that kind of...
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
CHANDLER: Alright, one of you give me your underpants.
Rachel: Well, I mean, sure, of course. But... you already gave that to Monica, so...
Cashier: I notice you picked out a lot of our dinosaur items.
Rachel: Phoebe is gonna be Monicas maid of honor!
Chandler: Fine! (goes into his room and slams the door, then he slams the bottom half of the door.)
[Ross holds up the blouse. It is extremely tacky, with sewn-on medals hanging off of it.]
Chandler: Hey, by any chance did either of pick uh Rachel for your secret Santa, cause I wanna trade for her.
Ross: Thats, thats, thats a big candy bar. (Shes holding one of those huge Toblerone bars.) I had the most amazing time with you.
Monica: All right, you just make sure that Chandler catches the ball, Ill take care of the rest.
Ross: WhatYoure not serious. I mean shes a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her. Shell drive us totally crazy.
Rachel: (surprised) OH! Alright, you know what? That's it! I want my share of the tickets (picks up the bowl)!
Chandler: (To Phoebe, behind Monica's back) Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem. (When Monica turns back he smiles and kisses her, when she turns away he nods that he'll do it to Phoebe.)
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
CHANDLER: Could you get us a couple of beers?
Ross: Oh, I-I don't know, it's kind of expensive for a studio.
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Monica: (thinks about it) All right, but if-if he lights someone else on fire he is out of there!
Monica: Yknow dad, Chandler is one of Rosss very best friends!
Ross: No, of course not! (Thinks) ...Yeah, yeah, it is.
Ross: Apparently, Stings son made fun of the fact that Bens moms are lesbinims.
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Joey: Nice going. You just saved yourself a couple months of sex.
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
[Scene: The lobby of Ross's building, he's sitting on the couch at the bottom of the stairs, and he's practicing enticing women to join him on the couch.]
Ross: I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she shoots me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?!
Ross first has a look of 'huh' then changes it to sarcastic happy: Thank you Amy.
Chandler: Huh. Did, uh... any of the rest of you guys think that when you first met me?
Rachel: Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!
MRS GREEN: I guess I just figured of all people you would understand this.