words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
Phoebe: How can you let him talk to your crotch like that?
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I cant wait to hear your first words," I thought, "Theres a trick."
Phoebe: Okay.
(Joey goes to get coffee and Rachel exits as the camera pans to Phoebe and Ross on the couch.)
Phoebe: Hey Ross! Doesnt Ben go to the Smithfield Day School?
Phoebe: Sting has a son that goes there too!
Phoebe: You knew this and you never said anything?! With all the stupid dinosaur stuff you tell us?!
Phoebe: Stings son, seven years old and theres a picture.
Phoebe: No, its New York magazine. Its an article about the best schools in the city. So how well do you know Sting?
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah thats too bad. I really want to go to his concert Friday night, but its totally sold out. I know! Why dont you meet him and get tickets?! If you get two Ill take you.
Phoebe: There you go! Oh, you are so lucky! You might actually get to meet Sting tomorrow! Thats why you have kids!
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: Wow! Theyre beautiful!
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Well then get your money back and return them!
Ross: I dropped him off at Carols. (To Phoebe) Anyway, it turns out that Im not going to be able to get those tickets though.
Phoebe: Oh no! Why not?
Phoebe: How come?!
Phoebe: Wait! But Ross if they dont get along then you should smooth things over. Make them be friends.
Ross: Phoebe, you cant force kids to be friends.
Phoebe: Sure you can! Give them some blocks, put them in a playpen!
Phoebe: Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest) Hes really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!
Phoebe: Yes you can! Sting says so himself!
Phoebe: (singing) Rosssss can!
Ross: Look Phoebe, Im sorry its just
Phoebe: (singing) Rossss can!
Ross: Phoebe, I
Phoebe: (singing) Rosss can! Give me the tickets! Ross can give me the tickets!!
[Scene: The Midfield Day School, its after school and Ben is taking a drink of water as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Oh, there you are Ben!
Ben: Aunt Phoebe, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
Phoebe: Now Ben, sometimes people may seem like jerks on the outside, but they have famous fathers.
Phoebe: Him youre friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)
Phoebe: Yes! Yes you can, Im looking for Jacks parents.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, Im with Ben.
Phoebe: I am one of Bens mothers. Im a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Ah! Okay so that would make me Susan.
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jacks parents to discuss the problems hes having with Ben? (Phoebe nods Yes.) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
Phoebe: Yeah! Lets do that!! That-that sounds good. We should sit down and talk, just me, my lover Carol, and the Stings. Umm, how-how will I get in touch with them?
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. Shes such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.
[Scene: Stings Apartment, Phoebe has come to talk about Jack and is waiting for Stings wife, Trudie Styler, to enter.]
Phoebe: Wow! This place is incredible! (Gasps) Stings pen that he gave to Phoebe. (Puts the pen in her purse and goes over to a floor-to-ceiling bookcase) Come on! Secret passageway! (Starts pulling books at random as Trudie enters.)
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Why else would I be here?
Phoebe: Uh-huh. (They go and sit down.)
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Umm, Im sorry. Wont-wont Jacks father be joining us?
Phoebe: Uh-hmm. Okay. Well then, could we reschedule? For say, Friday night perhaps at 8 oclock?
Phoebe: Concert. Yeah. That does put us in quite a pickle. Because you see Im very busy before and after the concert, and hes obviously busy during.
Phoebe: Unless! Unless umm, okay I-I would be willing to go to the concert, umm, all the while thinking about the children of course.
Phoebe: Oh, thank you. Four would be great.
Phoebe: Oh good! Then youre in luck! Bens not my son!
Phoebe: The Police? Here? A reunion?! (She gets out her camera.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Ross are there.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! I do love you! How did you do it?!
Phoebe: Oo, where are the seats?
Phoebe: Okay, now would you say that thats more than 50 yards away from Sting, his wife, or a member of his family?
Phoebe: Then thats not breaking the law! Im there!
Phoebe: Mike?? Who's Mike?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe.
Phoebe: Not Joey.
[Scene: Shop, Rachel, Charlie and Phoebe walk in]
Phoebe: What are the chances? 1 billion Chinese people and they send Mike!?
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Phoebe: Yeah?
[Time lapse, Phoebe is asleep, Joeys driving and having a hard time staying awake.]
Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe tonight!
Phoebe: I would, but I get my morning sickness in the evening.
Phoebe: (singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
Phoebe: Wow? Really? That's fantastic!
Phoebe: That's like the third time that lady's won on a machine I was playing.
Credits [Scene: Central Perk. Russ enters. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! So was she! Oh, Ive got-Ive got goose bumps. (She holds out her arm.)
Chandler: Phoebe is going to say "yes"? That's, that's great!
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Phoebe: Ooh, and treat it is. (Monica�s breasts.)
(Phoebe and David walk in)
David: Uh, Phoebe, uh, I have... something I wanna say.
Phoebe: Sure, ok, yeah.
Phoebe: Oh my God, Mike!
Phoebe: No, Mike's here.
Mike: Hi Phoebe.
Phoebe: What are you, what are you doing here?
David: Phoebe, will you marry me?
Phoebe: Fine! You go learn from your qualified instructor! But don't come crying to me when everyone's sick and tired of hearing you play Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!!
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. (To Larry) Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
Phoebe: David, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Yeah, I might have said yes, but that would have been wrong.
Phoebe: Yes! (they hug)
Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Phoebe & Mike: Yeah! (they leave)
Monica: ... Phoebe...?
Phoebe: ... and...?
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
Phoebe: (points to herself) Phoebe. (points to her) Phoebe. Phoebe, yeah. She named me after you I guess.
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm out.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Did you know this about him?
Phoebe: Mike, you don't know, you don't know what you're doing!
Phoebe: Tails!
Phoebe: (smiling proudly) He was a lawyer!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Mike and Phoebe seem to have finished watching a movie on television.]
(Phoebe and Mary Ellen enter.)
Phoebe: So! Ross doesnt really decorate his tree with floss, but you dont hear him complaining do you? God! (Phoebe hits her guitar which wakes up Ross with a start.)
Phoebe: (to Mike) Ok Mike, better come back Mike, better come back.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Phoebe: Mike wins?
Phoebe: You can't do that!
Phoebe: It's like watching porn!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is getting out linens for Cassie who is in the bathroom.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Is that Ross?
Phoebe: And maybe I could teach Ben about the Christmas skull and how people die.
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting up by the window because two guys have their couch.]
Phoebe: Sounds like he's with someone.
Phoebe: Get over here!
Phoebe: (whispering) Rachel and Joey! It's Rachel and Joey!!!
(they start to kiss again, and Phoebe turns to Chandler and Monica)
Phoebe: They are awfully boxy...
Monica: (also hugs the wall) Yeah, we had a great time, thank you! (walks to Phoebe)
Phoebe: That's the door. He's gone...
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go too. I'm gonna go to the airport. I figure if I hang around there long enough, someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended.
Phoebe: Shhh... This is the listening side of the wall.
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Phoebe: Now, what is this?
Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!
Phoebe: Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in.
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh, she went to the salon alright...
Phoebe: Hey, have you guys seen Monica?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Why not?
(Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing)
Phoebe: Aaah... you're not good at this...
Phoebe: For how long?
Phoebe: No, I think I can come over. It's Saturday, right?
Mike: (to Phoebe) So how've you been?
Phoebe: You have a... You have a date? With who?
Phoebe: Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I.
Phoebe: Ooh, that was fast.
Phoebe: Hi, Mike's place.
Phoebe: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm, whos next?
Phoebe: (stunned) I... I'm Phoebe.
(there's knocking on the door which Phoebe opens)
Phoebe: Yknow the only reason hes marrying you is because he thinks all the things you were saying about yourself were true.
Rachel: Noooooo!! (Phoebe lifts up the sheet to discover the exact same apothecary table they have.)
Monica: I'm sorry it's just, Phoebe just always thought you were, you were charming in a, in a sexless kind of way.
[Scene: In the store. Rachel and Phoebe returning from the changing rooms]
[Scene: Mike's place. Phoebe is on the phone.]
Phoebe: Alright... Susie, can I call you Susie?
Phoebe: Well, I don't...
Phoebe: Nothing, there's nothing wrong with you.
Phoebe: You're welcome!
Phoebe: Okay, not a fan of the tough love.